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Chapter 24: You’re a Real One!


After the Secret Guard asked, Liu Yun was silent for a long time.

Her posture became even more lazy and relaxed as she leaned back against the carriage. She gently flicked the hem of her robe with one hand, the other hanging idly by her side, her fingers occasionally brushing against the inside of Shen Yuezhuang’s wrist, which was propped beside her.

The wind had stopped. The carriage curtain completely blocked the frosty moonlight outside, making the interior very dim.

In the almost pitch-black darkness, the two silently stared at each other. Shen Yuezhuang could only see the faint glimmer in Liu Yun’s eyes.

It looked like struggle, and also like hesitation. It was thick as ink, lingering like silk, twisting and tangling around her heart, making it skip a beat for no reason.

Shen Yuezhuang couldn’t read the look. She just found it strange.

Rumor had it that the Empress Dowager was decisive and ruthless, ruling the harem with an iron fist!

Rumor had it that the Empress Dowager was vicious, using cat torture on a consort who had tried to seduce the Late Emperor!

Rumor had it that the Empress Dowager had tried to usurp the throne, and that the Late Emperor’s frail health was because she had been poisoning him all along…

Although, the rumors about the Empress Dowager were like the “fiancés” who had almost married Shen Yuezhuang—plenty of them, and none of them reliable!

But whether it was the Liu Yun she knew or the Empress Dowager of the rumors, she was not a hesitant person. Moreover, she had just spoken decisively, brimming with murderous intent: “If he meets a beauty, kill him. If he meets an official, execute him.”

Shen Yuezhuang felt inexplicably that Liu Yun’s hesitation wasn’t about deciding Huang Dequan’s fate.

And that look… She couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong with it, only that her own heart felt like it was covered by something, oppressive and heavy.

She let out a long breath, trying to expel the stuffy feeling in her chest. Then she poked Liu Yun in the side and whispered, “Hey, they’re waiting for your orders!”

The roars of approval from the neighboring venue seemed about to lift the roof. Liu Yun acted as if she hadn’t heard a word.

She let out a soft sigh. The light in her eyes seemed to soften with that sigh, losing some of its alarming sharpness and cunning. After that, her eyes looked even more like flowing, lustrous amber.

It was as if Shen Yuezhuang was mesmerized, watching the direction of that light. Suddenly, Liu Yun grabbed her by the wrist.

Liu Yun’s throat tightened. Her voice sounded inexplicably… urgent.

She said, “Shen Yuezhuang, I’m cold!”

~~~

At a residence in the north of the city, the servants, knowing their master would soon arrive, had long been waiting respectfully outside the mansion gate.

Dozens of people stood with heads bowed, silent. It wasn’t until the sound of carriage wheels rumbled from afar that the head butler stepped forward, lantern in hand, to greet them.

“Master!”

Inside the carriage, Shen Yuezhuang and Liu Yun sat almost catty-corner to each other.

Hearing the commotion outside, Shen Yuezhuang stretched out her leg and nudged Liu Yun’s exposed toe.

Hey, they’re calling you!

The butler was Liu Yun’s servant, and this residence was naturally one of Liu Yun’s private properties outside the palace.

This place must have been acquired after Liu Yun entered the palace. It was Shen Yuezhuang’s first time here, but judging from the old butler’s agitation at seeing Liu Yun, Liu Yun probably hadn’t been here many times herself.

If the city gates hadn’t been locked for the night, trapping them outside the city and unable to return to the temple, Liu Yun might not have even remembered she owned this property!

Contrasting with the butler’s barely restrained excitement, Liu Yun, disturbed from her pretense of sleep by Shen Yuezhuang, didn’t look happy at all. She shot a look of unconcealed disgust at Shen Yuezhuang, let out a heavy breath, suppressed the frustration in her heart, and gave a cold, indifferent reply.

Then, the carriage stopped directly in front of the mansion gate.

The area in front of the mansion was empty. The circle of warm light cast by the lanterns in front of the gate was some distance from the carriage. Instead, the bright, silvery moonlight bathed the carriage.

Just as the butler reached the carriage, the curtain was lifted from inside. The moonlight burst in like a soundless, sudden lightning strike.

The harsh, frosty silver light fully illuminated the scene inside the carriage.

The Empress Dowager, whom the old butler had missed so dearly for years, looked like a radish pulled from the earth—wrapped up in layers upon layers of felt pads, cloaks, and thick blankets. Only her head was visible, poking out from the furry pile…

The moonlight was like lightning. But the expression on the old butler’s face in that instant was one of pure thunderstruck astonishment.

The old butler’s body trembled. His lips moved. “Empress Dowager…”

His once so dignified, composed, stately, and authoritative Empress Dowager… how could she be in such a pathetic, embarrassing state?!

The old butler almost squeezed out two streams of hot tears. But they were held back when he saw Shen Yuezhuang huffing and puffing as she pulled… pulled the Empress Dowager out.

While pulling, Shen Yuezhuang even asked, “Hey, have you prepared the medicated bath? The Empress Dowager says she’s cold.”

~~~

In the main hall, a ring of braziers surrounded Liu Yun. The hand warmer in her arms was small and exquisite, warming her icy fingertips.

Liu Yun’s expression wasn’t good. Clearly, compared to her physical discomfort, being surrounded by fire braziers was even more unbearable. But she was holding back for some reason. On top of that, she had to listen to the one old and one young person chattering away in the corner.

In the farthest corner of the hall, the old butler, who had just been looking at Shen Yuezhuang like she had murdered his father, was now calling her “Little Shen” with great familiarity.

The butler just assumed Little Shen was a palace maid serving the Empress Dowager. Looking at her with satisfaction, he instructed, “Our Mistress has a strong personality. We servants have to serve her even more attentively. What you just did…”

The butler darted a glance towards the other side and lowered his voice even further. “You did a very good thing!”

The butler was referring to Shen Yuezhuang forcibly making Liu Yun sit by the brazier when she refused. But Shen Yuezhuang had only said, “Didn’t you say you were cold?”

She didn’t think it was a big deal, assuming the butler was talking about what happened in the carriage.

After all, compared to a light sentence, it had taken a lot of effort to get all that gear on her body. Shen Yuezhuang had broken out in a sweat from the exertion. But Liu Yun just stared at her with those mournful eyes.

Even now, thinking about that look made Shen Yuezhuang feel helpless. She always felt that Liu Yun wanted to put the clothes from her own body onto herself!

Shen Yuezhuang let out a long sigh. After exchanging a knowing look with the old butler, she glanced out the window again.

“Isn’t the servant who bought the medicine back yet?”

The servant had been sent to buy medicine. The kitchen had boiled water, but for a medicated bath, the mansion was missing a few herbs. The three of them were waiting, and the old butler was saying, “At this hour, you have to call the pharmacy to open shop.” He took a step outside.

“By my reckoning, it should be about time now.”

No sooner had he spoken than a servant walked in. The butler hurriedly ordered the preparations for the medicated bath. After giving a series of instructions, he turned his head to look at the Empress Dowager, who was standing up from her brazier.

Liu Yun couldn’t sit still any longer.

When Shen Yuezhuang had stuffed those two hand warmers under her feet earlier, Liu Yun didn’t even have to see Shen Yuezhuang’s suppressed “pft” laugh to know the bastard wasn’t up to any good!

Now, finally freed, she didn’t want to stay a moment longer.

“Just have them prepare the hot water and leave. I’ll be right there.”

The butler didn’t say anything this time. He just acknowledged the order, then asked, “Should we have Little Miss Shen attend to your bath?”

Liu Yun’s breath caught. Her peripheral vision darted to Shen Yuezhuang, who had just come to her side, draping a thick cloak over her shoulders.

“Huh?” Shen Yuezhuang seemed shocked to be singled out. She waved her hand hastily.

“Not me!” Shen Yuezhuang said with earnest seriousness. “I have to warm Her Highness’s bed tonight!”

Liu Yun: “…”

Say whatever you want, but why do you have to announce it?

With that, Liu Yun studied the old butler’s expression.

The butler was old and a bit slow. When he heard, “Not me!” he got a little annoyed at how lazy and evasive young people were these days!

He sighed heavily and confirmed firmly, “You’re a real one!”

But this sentence came just a beat late, landing squarely after Shen Yuezhuang’s “I have to warm Her Highness’s bed tonight.”

The butler processed for a moment, looking somewhat inarticulate and bewildered. “Huh? What did you say?”


The Empress Dowager Claims to Be My Ex-Girlfriend

The Empress Dowager Claims to Be My Ex-Girlfriend

太后自称是我前女友
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Shen Yuezhuang, the Capital City’s number one female profligate.

Her great-grandfather, Shen Zhi, had at a young age, among a group of grubby little brats playing in mud and piss, singled out the boy who would later become the founding emperor, becoming his sworn brother.

Shen Yuezhuang, a descendant of nobility and meritorious officials, at the same age of muddling through, made two friends: a fox-like friend — the orphan Liu Yun, and a dog-like friend — the neglected Third Prince.

Ten years passed in the blink of an eye. The little prince of yesteryear had leaped to become the current Emperor, while the orphan girl with no family to rely on had become the current Empress Dowager. Only Shen Yuezhuang remained, the Capital’s number one aging leftover woman...

Tsk. The development of this affair was very suspicious. Her great-grandfather became sworn brothers with the Emperor, and he became a highly sought-after husband. How come, when it got to her, she turned into a hot potato?!

Later, Shen Yuezhuang heard a rumor coming from the Palace: the Empress Dowager had said that the young Miss of the Shen family was her old flame!

~~~

The new Emperor ascended the throne and ordered a Special Examination. Shen Yuezhuang, brimming with excitement, took her family’s servants to the Capital on the day the list was announced to try her hand at the tradition of Groom-Snatching Below the List. Her only requirement: good looks above all else!

And so, her burly servants brought her the current Empress Dowager, who was out of the Palace in disguise!

~~~

Speaking of the current Empress Dowager’s life, it was famously tumultuous. From a criminal slave to Empress Dowager, everyone said Emperor Jiande was her benefactor.

When Emperor Jiande ascended the throne and proclaimed a Great Amnesty, she was freed from her slave status.

When Emperor Jiande held his Imperial Consort Selection, she entered the Palace to await selection.

Before Emperor Jiande died, she had risen from a low-ranking Worthy Lady to the Empress of the Central Palace.

After Emperor Jiande’s death, when the Third Prince ascended the throne, she became the most powerful woman in the Palace: the Empress Dowager!

Rumors said the Empress Dowager was ruthless. Rumors said the Empress Dowager framed loyal officials. Rumors said the Empress Dowager was a woman usurping authority. Rumors said the Empress Dowager intended to usurp the throne...

Liu Yun turned a deaf ear to the rumors. But the one rumor she admitted to was that the Empress Dowager, unable to bear the jealousy of being a substitute bride, had secretly ruined all of Miss Shen’s marriage prospects.

Yes. She was alone and desolate within the Palace; how could she let Miss Shen enjoy a harmonious marriage outside?

***

Mini-Story:

Palace Attendant: Your Majesty, it’s terrible! Miss Shen and the Noble Consort are arguing in the Imperial Garden!

The Emperor, who was about to head to the Imperial Garden, immediately turned around: “Go fetch the Empress Dowager.”

Palace Attendant: “Then, Your Majesty...”

Emperor: “I’ll make myself scarce. She curses dirty.”

***

Mini-Story 2:

Miss Shen argued with a consort in the Palace, and the Empress Dowager punished her by ordering her to clean the Study Room. After an hour, the Empress Dowager’s personal female official looked at the still-wet ink stains and the messy bookshelves in the study, and sighed helplessly in persuasion, “Miss Shen, even if no one is watching, Her Highness has given the order. Could you at least pretend to do a good job?”

Shen Yuezhuang, with an incredulous look, pointed at the abacus on the table and retorted, “Pretend? Can’t you see this abacus is already neatly arranged?”

The female official was stunned. But the Empress Dowager looked completely unsurprised.

“If it’s sorted, it’s sorted. What do you want for dinner?”

Their germophobic Empress Dowager said this while closing the open book.

Female official: “...”

Your Highness, do you even see what you’re doing? Is this what you call “sorted”?!

Later, the training for new arrivals in the Empress Dowager’s Palace included memorizing a few special terms: that an abacus is also called a study, that soup with burst wontons is called “meat soup with sliced noodles,” and that the number “seventeen” is taboo in the Palace.

***

Reading Guide:

1. HE (Happy Ending), Both are pure, Sweet story. Feel free to read safely. 2. Silly and light-hearted. This one is absolutely not angsty (emphasis). ...

Content Tags: Palace and Nobility, Special Favor, Happy Enemies to Lovers, Sweet, Historical, Main Character is the Receiver

Search Keywords: Main Character: Shen Yuezhuang, Liu Yun │ Supporting Characters: │ Others:

One-Line Summary: The unspeakable affairs between the Empress Dowager and Miss Shen.

Theme: Strive hard, pursue a beautiful life.

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