The Little Duck 34

Chapter 34

The forty-minute taxi ride home from the KTV was filled with Jian Xin recounting some of the interesting things that had happened or that she had heard that day.

The so-called interesting things were, in fact, just trivial matters.

Other people’s, her own, none of them were really worth mentioning.

But she just really wanted to tell Yan Lu. Even if it only stirred up a fraction of a memory of the past for the other person, for her, it might be a good thing.

Yan Lu listened quietly, only occasionally responding with a sound or two.

There was no music playing on her end. The keyboard would tap lightly from time to time, but it still gave an inexplicable sense of peace.

It seemed that companionship was just that simple. The occasional sound of the keyboard, the friction of the chair turning, the sound of getting up to get water and drinking it, and the small noises made by the duck and dog at home.

It made Jian Xin feel that Yan Lu was always there.

But this road was still too short. It seemed she still had a lot to say to Yan Lu, but the driver had already pulled over and shouted at her in a local dialect, “Miss, we’re here!”

“Oh!” Jian Xin quickly opened the car door and stood in the cold wind, leaning on her crutches.

The car drove away. She shrank her neck, looked at the call on her phone, and didn’t know whether to hang up.

Yan Lu: “You’ve arrived.”

“Mmm,” Jian Xin shrank her neck and slowly walked a few steps forward. “At the community gate.”

“It’s too late. I’ll hang up when you get to your door.”

“I’m really troubling you,” Jian Xin said, a hint of secret joy in her heart.

The topic wasn’t finished yet, she thought. I’ll just walk a little slower, at least to finish this conversation.

The winter night’s wind was bone-chillingly cold, making her cheeks stiff, but it couldn’t blow away the smile in her eyes.

The moment the call was hung up, she gently opened the door with her key.

At two in the morning, the house was dark and quiet.

Jian Xin locked the door, tiptoed into the bedroom, washed up simply, and curled up in the cold bed without having turned on the electric blanket beforehand.

—So cold.

Jian Xin shivered, shrank her head into the quilt, picked up her phone, which had instantly fogged up, wiped it casually, and sent a message to Yan Lu: Thank you for tonight, duck! Good night!

Finally, she shivered and closed her heavy eyelids.

In a daze, her phone vibrated.

Jian Xin took a deep breath, wanting to look at the reply, but her hand seemed to be stuck by something and couldn’t move at all.

Her body didn’t feel so tired anymore. She subconsciously opened her eyes, and sure enough, she had turned into a duck again.

I knew it, I definitely shouldn’t have slept in the car!

Although she hadn’t been here for the past few days, she still needed to be careful when she slept. After all, not having been here for a long time didn’t mean she wouldn’t come again.

Fortunately, she had had the foresight. Otherwise, she would have really slept like the dead in the Didi driver’s car!

At this moment, Xin Xin was lying beside her in a strangely crescent-shaped sleeping position, its warm back pushing her to the very edge of the duck nest, pressing down on half of her wing so that she couldn’t move at all.

What a domineering and boundary-less little naughty dog!

Jian Xin struggled for a long time and finally managed to escape from Xin Xin’s squeeze without a sound.

Yan Lu was still at her computer, writing her outline.

The first thing the little duck did after waking up in the middle of the night was to run to Yan Lu’s feet and quack a couple of times.

This way, she would be picked up by Yan Lu and placed on her lap.

This was a very routine operation, and Jian Xin had already formed a certain muscle memory.

When she was picked up by Yan Lu again, she subconsciously stretched her neck to look at the computer screen.

Whether Yan Lu was writing an outline or an update, she always liked to use windowed mode. Outside the window was either a webpage for research or a relatively quiet chat box.

Jian Xin’s glance happened to catch Yan Lu’s reply to her.

—Good night.

That’s really simple, not surprising at all…

Every time Yan Lu sent her a message, it was always so cold and indifferent.

The courage of her youth, which was not afraid of the vastness of heaven and earth, was now nowhere to be found.

This coldness and indifference always made Jian Xin want to retreat.

But on second thought, this seemingly cold person had not only found her a very good opportunity, but also reminded her to do her flexion and extension exercises at a fixed time every day, and even accompanied her on a voice call in the middle of the night, listening to her endless nonsense. She felt that she should still have some chance.

But she was a little scared, afraid that all of this was just her own wishful thinking.

Yan Lu’s actions might not have any other meaning. Maybe she was just repaying a kindness?

If that were the case, would she be annoying if she kept pestering her?

As Jian Xin thought with a headache, the image on the computer suddenly changed.

She looked up and saw that a certain famous little fairy had come to find her ex again!

Lin Xiyu: Honey, are you still awake?

Perched by the Roadside: Mmm

“Quack ah!” What is she here for!

“Ahhh ahhh-ong!” What time is it? Don’t female celebrities sleep in the middle of the night!

The little duck had just quacked twice when its small, flat beak was gently pinched by its owner.

Yan Lu rubbed the little duck’s chest and coaxed it softly, “Be good, Cauliflower. Don’t wake Xin Xin up again.”

Jian Xin: “…”

—The way this woman said that was so gentle, but unfortunately, the Xin Xin she was talking about was not me.

The little duck flapped its wings, flew onto the computer desk, and unhappily blocked the keyboard with its body.

The next second, Yan Lu patted her right wing, gradually patting her to the side, and placed her hands back on the keyboard, starting to chat with Lin Xiyu.

The little duck curled up on the side, aggrieved, its beady eyes looking at the chat interface.

Lin Xiyu couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night, so she had come to Yan Lu to complain.

Her complaints were all over the place, as if the whole world was full of resentment.

First, she complained about a variety show she had recently recorded, saying that the production team was very disrespectful in order to create topics. Then she mentioned a certain guest in it, who had no sense of propriety in their words and actions.

Then, somehow, she digressed to a certain actor she had once been in a CP with for drama promotion, saying that he was selling a miserable story to purify his fanbase, spreading rumors behind her back, and after the CP was dismantled, all his dramas flopped, so he started to secretly tie himself to her again, releasing news that they were going to collaborate a second time.

After that, she complained about the weather, about her schedule, and finally, even the taste of the airplane meal that night did not escape her complaints.

It was clear that this sweet little fairy, who was so sweet in public, was very irritable at this moment, so irritable that the whole world seemed to be not to her liking.

Yan Lu silently read the angry paragraphs, occasionally chiming in with a few curses to go along with her complaints.

Jian Xin had never followed celebrities, and she was stunned by the gossip.

Not only was she amazed by the chaos of these matters, but she was also surprised that these things could be said to Yan Lu, and she didn’t even censor the names of the people she was complaining about.

If this chat history were to be leaked, Lin Xiyu would be trending on the hot search for four or five days, right?

So what was their relationship!

Why could their level of trust be so high?!

This couldn’t possibly be the relationship between an actress and the original author who had only collaborated on one drama!!!

How could they?!

How could they, just when she had decided to pursue Yan Lu, let her accidentally discover such an ironclad relationship?!

Could it be! That they just! Don’t think—this! is! cruel! at! all?!!

The more the little duck thought, the more anxious it became, so anxious that it was about to jump up.

But Lin Xiyu, who had finally finished venting, changed the subject and sent a sentence that she couldn’t understand.

Lin Xiyu: Hey, let’s not talk about this. It’s all negative energy in the middle of the night. It’s really hard on you to listen to me complain for so long.

Lin Xiyu: By the way, how are things on your end?

Perched by the Roadside: What things?

Lin Xiyu: The progress!

Perched by the Roadside: I’ve finished signing.

Lin Xiyu: [You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you]

Lin Xiyu: I’m not asking about that.

Perched by the Roadside: She’s back in Nanjiang. She was out playing until almost two this morning before she went home.

Perched by the Roadside: She said she was scared on the way and asked me to talk to her on a voice call.

Jian Xin unconsciously stood up, stuck her butt out, and stretched her neck, so surprised that her duck beak was almost touching the computer screen.

However, the next second, Yan Lu pushed her aside.

Lin Xiyu: Did you answer?

Perched by the Roadside: I did.

Lin Xiyu: What did you talk about?

Perched by the Roadside: Nothing much, she just rambled on about a bunch of things.

Lin Xiyu: That’s a good thing, right? She’s very expressive with you.

Perched by the Roadside: So?

Lin Xiyu: Aren’t you happy?

The little duck turned its head to look at Yan Lu.

Yan Lu looked at Lin Xiyu’s question, her hands hovering over the keyboard for a long time before she slowly typed out four words.

Perched by the Roadside: I don’t know.

—She doesn’t know?

Jian Xin tilted her head, a question mark seemingly appearing on her round head.

Lin Xiyu was also silenced by this answer. It took her a long time to reply with a [I really have nothing to say to you] sticker.

The little duck opened its mouth but didn’t dare to make a sound.

Her gaze switched back and forth between the computer screen and Yan Lu. Finally, after half a minute that felt like an eternity, she saw the continuation of their conversation.

Lin Xiyu: In this life, don’t lie to anyone, especially not yourself.

Lin Xiyu: You should think it through.

Lin Xiyu: As for me, the little fairy, I’m currently caught up in worldly affairs and don’t have the energy to enlighten you.

Perched by the Roadside: I don’t need to be enlightened.

Lin Xiyu: You’d better not!

Perched by the Roadside: Don’t fairies need their beauty sleep?

Lin Xiyu: You’re so heartless! You’re so cruel!

Lin Xiyu: [Leaves angrily]

Perched by the Roadside: [Good night, Makka Pakka]

Their chat ended there.

Yan Lu’s gaze grew increasingly hazy, her thoughts drifting off to who knows where.

The little duck couldn’t help but tilt its head and stare blankly at the computer screen in front of it.

She had indeed misunderstood. Yan Lu and Lin Xiyu were not in the kind of relationship she had thought.

Was this a good thing?

Perhaps for her, it was.

That [Leaves angrily] was a picture of Cauliflower’s back as it ran forward on a small stone path in the community, its wings half-spread.

The following “Good night, Makka Pakka” was a picture of Xin Xin and Cauliflower sleeping together in the duck nest.

Just these two stickers covered most of the chat interface.

Above that, only the sentence—You’re so heartless! You’re so cruel!—was left.

After a brief silence, the chat window was suddenly closed.

The little duck looked back at Yan Lu and saw that her expression had returned to normal, as if nothing had happened just now.

Jian Xin couldn’t help but think that Lin Xiyu’s words were not wrong.

At least on the surface, Yan Lu was indeed quite heartless and cruel.

Why, why can some people in this world hide their feelings so deeply?

If she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes again and again, how could she have dared to believe that Yan Lu hadn’t truly let go of her either?

Jian Xin thought unhappily, then suddenly stood up and walked to Yan Lu, craning her neck to complain.

“Ugh ugh ugh quack?”

How can you be like this?

“Quack quack quack, quack quack ahh ahh ahh!”

Now that I’m finally back, is it really fun to be so hot and cold?!

“Quack ahh!”

What exactly do I have to do for you to tell me the truth?

Jian Xin knew that no matter how much she complained, Yan Lu wouldn’t be able to understand, but she just couldn’t help but want to say it out loud.

“What’s wrong, Cauliflower?” Yan Lu stretched out an index finger and gently poked the small, round duck chest, asking softly, “Why are you in a bad mood?”

“Quack!” I’m just anxious, okay!

“Actually, Mommy is not in a good mood either…”

“Uh-huh—” I see, it’s my fault again, right?

“If, there was someone who was once very, very good to you, and you gambled all your courage and believed in her ‘forever and ever,’ only to find that ‘forever’ was just a casual joke… what would you do?”

“…”

“I don’t mean to blame her, I know that when many things are said, there is sincerity, but sincerity is ultimately not long-lasting… ‘forever and ever’ is just a fantasy that exists in novels,” Yan Lu said, rubbing the little duck’s head as if in a dream, murmuring softly, “She’s back again, and she’s still the same as before, wanting to tell me everything, as if we’ve never been apart…”

“…”

“But she was the one who said back then that we’re not on the same path…”

The little duck opened its mouth and let out a hoarse cry.

Yan Lu tapped its forehead a few times, laughed at herself, and continued with what she hadn’t finished saying.

She said that if they tried again and it still ended in nothing, then it would be better to just be a passerby.

It was better than proving once again that they were not on the same path.

The little duck buried its head, silent for a long time, before letting out a super soft “uh-huh.”

—Nonsense.

She murmured in her heart.

Yan Lu was talking nonsense. She didn’t want to be a passerby.

She was also talking nonsense back then. A lifetime is so long, and they were so young at that time. Who could be sure that there was only one path to walk in a lifetime.

Words are dead, but people are alive. Why be so serious?

She was very flexible, okay…

Yan Lu: “What am I telling you all this for? You don’t understand anyway.”

Jian Xin: “…”

Yan Lu closed QQ, closed the document, and finally turned off the computer. She picked up the little duck from the desk and gently placed it back by the duck nest.

“Rest early,” she said softly in a breathy voice, then turned and walked out of the study, turning off the lights in the room.

In the dark, the little duck looked at the Corgi sleeping with its limbs splayed out, motionless, in a daze for a long time. It wasn’t until Yan Lu came out of the bathroom that it suddenly came back to its senses, waddled to her feet, and, under her somewhat bewildered gaze, followed her all the way into the bedroom.

“Why did you follow me?”

“Ugh ah? Quack ahh ahh quack quack!” Why did I follow you? Of course I’m here to reason with you!

“It’s very late, go back to your room and sleep.”

“Quack!” I can’t sleep!

Yan Lu crouched down and pinched the little duck’s beak. “Why are you so disobedient today? Didn’t you eat enough this afternoon?”

She guessed, then stood up and said, “Then I’ll get you something else to eat.”

“Ahhh ahhh!” I’m not hungry!

Jian Xin was so anxious that she flew onto the bed. Under Yan Lu’s surprised gaze, she stood on her tiptoes, tilted her head up, and flapped her wings forcefully a few times.

“Quack!”

I’m trying to say, you’re wrong!

“Quack quack quack quack!”

Don’t be so pessimistic!

“Quack ahh—”

Just give that person one more chance!

Yan Lu stared blankly at the little duck on her bed, which was dancing and stomping its feet in anxiety. It took her a long time to come back to her senses.

“Are you in a bad mood and want to sleep with me?”

“Ugh ugh—” That’s, that’s not what I mean.

Jian Xin opened her mouth awkwardly. Before she could speak, her feet had already left the ground, and she was being held high by Yan Lu.

She was in a daze for a moment, and then there was a pink diaper on her.

“Quack?”

“I know you don’t like it, but you can’t poop on the bed…” Yan Lu said, rubbing the duck’s little head. “If you want to stay with me, you have to wear this. If you don’t want to wear it, you can jump down now, and I’ll help you take it off.”

Jian Xin glanced at the diaper, then at the floor.

After a brief hesitation, she took two steps back and moved towards the middle of the bed.

The bed was a little soft. She lost her footing and fell with her feet in the air.

Yan Lu couldn’t help but laugh out loud. She turned off the light, got into bed, tossed her phone to the side, and reached out to gently hold the little duck that had dazedly walked to her pillow.

She quickly closed her eyes, and her breathing gradually slowed down.

Jian Xin didn’t dare to move at all. She was being gently held by an arm, her chest pressed against the slightly cool forehead.

She didn’t even dare to breathe too heavily, just quietly feeling the breath that was so close.

So many years had passed, but Yan Lu was still the same as before, always liking to curl up, and once she fell asleep, she would be completely still.

The bedroom was dark, and the curtains were tightly closed, as if isolating the whole world.

In this small world, only they were together.

It was like a cold night in her memory…

No matter how much time passed, it was an existence that could not be faded in the depths of her heart.

Jian Xin couldn’t help but think, she had said she wanted to be together for a lifetime, but Yan Lu had taken it as a joke.

If in Yan Lu’s heart, she was a person who was full of nonsense, then why did Yan Lu take it so seriously when she said they were not on the same path?

This was simply unreasonable…

The little duck sighed helplessly.

Sometimes you have to admit that memory is a very magical thing.

Many times you will feel that they have long since faded with time, but suddenly one day, you meet a person, or encounter a matter, and they will suddenly appear from every inconspicuous corner.

Like a wind passing through, stirring up a field of old dust.

So small, yet they insist on twinkling with a faint light in the sunlight.

—Telling you that they too have once been brilliant in your life.

Jian Xin remembered the first night they had slept together.

Yan Lu had moved into her home, used her towel, and worn her nightdress. Every move, every word, was so cautious.

The dinner that day seemed to be quite sumptuous.

Yan Lu, just like the first time she had mooched off her in the cafeteria, was so nervous that she didn’t dare to use her chopsticks to pick up the dishes, only daring to eat the plain rice in her bowl.

She watched on the side, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, and helped her get food several times, afraid that her mom would be unhappy and ask, “Is it not good?”

If that had happened, it would have been too awkward.

Fortunately, Huang He didn’t say anything, just helped to get food for Yan Lu, and even cut a large plate of fruit for them after dinner.

That night, they lay in bed together, and she said she wanted to be a family with Yan Lu for a lifetime.

That was not a joke, she was very serious!

The moment she returned to school on Sunday, she sent a very, very long message to her mom on QQ.

She didn’t dare to say it directly at home, just in case a dispute arose. Even if she really convinced her family later, Yan Lu wouldn’t dare to live in her home anymore.

It turned out that she was right.

Her mom did not agree with her almost naive idea.

For this matter, she had pleaded with her mom for several days, and had even asked her dad for help more than once.

She knew that in the past, her family wouldn’t even let her have a cat.

To want to bring a person home, to be together forever, was no different from dreaming.

But she was like she was possessed. No matter what her family said, she insisted on bringing Yan Lu home to live for a long time.

At that time, she seemed to be thinking—without Li Xia, how would Lin Xiaoshuang walk out of that winter night?

The recklessness of youth made her think that she could be someone’s salvation.

So, just like in the novel, she mustered up her courage and happily became someone else’s sun.

—To reach out and grab a person who was stuck in the mud, and then pull her out, was probably the coolest thing she had ever done in her life!

But she had never thought that she was not the main character of any story.

She was just an ordinary person, most of the time she couldn’t even control her own joys, angers, sorrows, and happiness. She was not qualified to be anyone’s little sun.

And Yan Lu, she was never a stray cat she had picked up out of kindness, who would obediently stay with her for a lifetime as long as she was well-fed.

She had really thought everything was too simple.

So when unexpected troubles and fatigue came, she began to hesitate, to suffer, to doubt, to struggle, and to have so many big fights that she became a stranger even to herself.

She had clearly said that they would never be separated for a lifetime.

But in the end, she was the one who broke up.

She thought that it was just an ordinary argument, and like before, once they had cooled down, they could get back together.

But after that time, there was no next time.

The person she thought would never leave her, or rather, could never leave her, had really left without looking back.

She had tried every method, but she couldn’t even say another word to her.

—How could this person be like this?

That year, she thought for a long time, but she just couldn’t understand.

She dreamed about it, wondering what she had to do to tell Yan Lu that it was just a moment of anger…

She had been filled with hatred and regret for many years, until those unwilling feelings had completely dissipated in the increasingly busy days.

And then, at this moment, they came rushing back to her heart like crazy.

She couldn’t help but repeatedly think back to Yan Lu’s words just now.

She thought that in the cold, hard shell her mom had spoken of, there was indeed a little fool curled up.

She had once held her, but had accidentally let go.

She had really, really regretted it for a long, long time…

Now, she had finally seen her again, and she couldn’t let go again.

Jian Xin gently pressed her forehead against the person beside her pillow and closed her slightly moist eyes.

…

Just trust me one more time.

I’ve grown up.