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Chapter 13


After the human-skin mask was brought back to Dali Temple, Tao Siqing summoned a few people familiar with the ways of the jianghu to examine it. As expected, it turned out to be the rumored Disguise Technique, something rarely seen outside those circles.

A new batch of wanted posters went out, and portraits were plastered everywhere. Yet even so, they still couldn’t track down this slippery fugitive.

“That thief knows the Disguise Technique. Posting portraits won’t do a thing.”

Liuzi was regaling a gaggle of little maids with the tale, his words flowing like a river.

Tao Chuyi sidled up and burrowed into the cluster of maids. She pointed at Liuzi with a dopey grin. “Storyteller!”

The little maids covered their mouths, stifling their giggles. Liuzi scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish.

“Still, our Prince Consort takes the cake. Not only did he rescue the abducted women, he was the first to spot the thief’s disguise and sleight of hand.”

Liuzi offered a cup of tea with obsequious charm, then stationed himself in the breezy spot to shield her from the wind.

Tao Chuyi took a sip, and her little face scrunched up at once.

“Not sweet. It’s bitter.”

“We added chrysanthemum flowers to the tea. It is a bit bitter, but it clears heat and settles the stomach.”

Liuzi grinned apologetically. “You get used to it, and it stops tasting bitter. Your Highness the Princess drinks it this way. Don’t believe me? Give it another try?”

Tao Chuyi fell for his pitch and gulped down another mouthful. This time, her face puckered up like a steamed bun.

“You’re fibbing. It’s bitter.”

Just as Liuzi was scheming to fool her like a child again, Nangong Yunshang passed by from the backyard and beckoned Tao Chuyi back. The two of them headed to the study together.

At lunch, Tao Chuyi devoured a big chicken leg and a heaping bowl of rice and sides. Yet she didn’t feel all that full—maybe seventy or eighty percent.

While Nangong Yunshang was reading, Tao Chuyi quietly snatched a pastry from the table nearby. She was just about to pop it into her mouth when Nangong Yunshang glanced up.

“You’ll get stuffed if you eat any more.”

Tao Chuyi pursed her lips and set the pastry down with obvious reluctance. Undeterred, she scooted closer.

“Your Highness the Princess!”

Nangong Yunshang paused in her work. The ink-dipped brush hovered over the rice paper, splattering a large blot.

“…What is it?”

Oblivious to the mishap, Tao Chuyi pressed her advantage and inched even nearer. “Let’s go play.”

Nangong Yunshang shot her a look and spread out a fresh sheet of paper.

“I’m practicing my calligraphy.”

“Your Highness the Princess!”

Tao Chuyi lunged forward and hugged her arm, shaking it gently. “Play with me for a little while, please?”

Nangong Yunshang’s head snapped up, a glint of murder in her eyes.

“Tao Chuyi, let go.”

Her tone was icy, her voice as chilling as autumn frost, sending a shiver like plunging into an ice cellar.

Tao Chuyi froze in fright. She didn’t snap out of it until Nangong Yunshang yanked her arm free. Tao Chuyi nibbled her lower lip, her eyes brimming with grievance. She let out an indignant huff, though she didn’t dare raise her voice.

When Nangong Yunshang ignored her completely, Tao Chuyi seized the chance to slip out of the study on the sly.

What was so impressive about her? If she wouldn’t play, Tao Chuyi would entertain herself.

Tao Chuyi crept into the kitchen like a little thief. She was going to scarf down ten or twenty chicken legs and bankrupt the Princess Mansion!

As she rummaged around hunting for chicken legs, an old man was bustling about in a panic at the stove, heaven knew what he was up to.

Tao Chuyi bounded over, her voice booming like a bell. “Grandpa!”

The old man jumped in fright and turned around trembling. When he saw it was only her, some color returned to his face.

“Young master, do you need something from this old servant?”

Tao Chuyi nodded solemnly. “I’m looking for chicken legs. Are there any left in the kitchen?”

“Ah, well… none left, I’m afraid. How about we make some fresh for dinner?”

The old man looked distressed as he flipped through a couple of empty pots.

She might not have found any chicken legs, but she did spot a jar of honey. It was sweet—perfect to mix into the tea so it wouldn’t taste bitter anymore. She really was clever!

Clutching the jar of honey, Tao Chuyi turned to ask the grandpa if there were any pastries. But when she spun around, the man had vanished.

“Grandpa! Grandpa?”

She dashed out of the kitchen and spotted Nangong Yunshang approaching just as she collided head-on with the old man.

“Old Man Sun, why are you only leaving now?”

Old Man Sun was the one who delivered vegetables to the Princess Mansion’s backyard once every seven days, always with enough for the full week. He usually dropped off the goods and left right away, but today he had dawdled far longer than usual.

The old man bowed low. “Greetings, Your Highness the Princess. I was a bit weary today and rested a spell in the backyard. Old age has caught up with me—my body’s not what it used to be.”

Nangong Yunshang nodded. “You’ve gone to the trouble, Old Man Sun. Why not send a younger man next time?”

The old man bobbed his head vigorously, spouting a stream of auspicious pleasantries before preparing to depart.

“Grandpa! You dropped something!”

Tao Chuyi came chasing after him, a small bundle clutched in her hand. She was running so fast that she tripped over a stone. The bundle flew from her grasp, spilling its contents across the ground.

Yinghong scooped up one of the strange objects from the dirt and gasped in horror. “Human skin!”

A stack of several human-skin masks lay there, ready to swap faces at a moment’s notice.

Nangong Yunshang bellowed, “He’s not Old Man Sun! Seize him!”

The guards of the Princess Mansion poured in, encircling the backyard. The old man shed his shambling gait, standing tall and throwing himself into the fray against the guards. He was clearly trained in martial arts, but he was hopelessly outnumbered and soon subdued.

The guards forced him to his knees and searched his face for traces of the mask.

In the midst of it all, Tao Chuyi darted forward and yanked at a flap of loose skin by his ear. With a sharp rip, she tore it away. The man’s true face emerged—the spitting image from the portrait.

At the same time, the guards who had searched the kitchen hauled out a pot of soup. A silver needle dipped in it turned black—laced with Cranes-top Red.

“I’ll kill you all! Kill you all!”

The man thrashed his head up, eyes bulging like a rabid dog’s as he snapped and snarled madly.

Nangong Yunshang’s gaze hardened. “Escort him to Dali Temple to join his brother. No need for a big production—deal with him in his cell.”

“Yes!”

One guard delivered a sharp chop to the back of his neck, and the backyard fell silent.

Once the others had withdrawn, Tao Chuyi was still sitting demurely right where she was. When Nangong Yunshang turned, Tao Chuyi flashed her a beaming, guileless smile.

“Why are you still sitting on the ground? Get up and come back with this palace.”

Tao Chuyi shook her head. “The tea’s bitter. No chicken legs. Won’t play with me.”

Nangong Yunshang paused, not so much at the grievance as at how quickly she had grasped the meaning.

“Add some honey, and the tea won’t be bitter. There are chicken legs—this palace will have fresh ones made for you. As for playing, let Liuzi and Fendie keep you company.”

Before she could finish, Tao Chuyi was already on her feet and trailing after her. She stuck to Nangong Yunshang’s heels like a little tail.

With all the thieves rounded up, the people’s hearts settled, and the Capital City returned to its former bustle and splendor. The Colorful Fragrance Tower was sealed off, still harboring several corpses and scattered limbs inside. Nangong Yunshang ordered them buried properly, then had the den of evil torched to the ground.

On the day of the burial, Nangong Yunshang attended in person, and Tao Chuyi brought Fendie along too. It was because Fendie had befriended a girl of like temper back when they were trapped in the wine cellar. But that girl had been dragged off first and had ended up dying in the Colorful Fragrance Tower.

Fendie stood by the coffin, her eyes reddening. If that girl hadn’t stood in front of her and been taken away instead, it would be Fendie lying there today.

“I heard you loved jade stones the most. I don’t have much, just these two jade beads. They’re all yours now—may you find peace in your next life.”

The guards began shoveling in the earth. Fendie clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her sobs, though her vision blurred with tears.

The yellow soil had reached the corpse’s neck when Tao Chuyi suddenly shouted.

“Wait! Hold on a second.”


The Princess’s Silly Little Prince Consort

The Princess’s Silly Little Prince Consort

公主的小傻子驸马
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Tao Chuyi was known to one and all as a little fool, doted on by Lord Tao as if held in the palm of his hand. She was nearly eighteen years old, yet still unmarried. Who would marry a fool, after all?

Tao Chuyi lived a carefree life in the Tao Mansion, driving away three private tutors in succession. She loved nothing more than climbing trees and playing in the mud. She despised wearing a young master's robes—she was clearly a girl, but her father had warned her that girls' clothing would draw the Old Monster to snatch her away.

That all changed on the occasion of Tao Chuyi's eighteenth birthday, when the Emperor decreed her marriage to Nangong Yunshang, the least favored princess of all. The Third Princess wed to a little fool—Nangong Yunshang became the laughingstock of the Capital City.

On the day of their grand wedding, Nangong Yunshang had a dagger at the ready, while Tao Chuyi dreamed blissfully of taking a wife.

~~~

Wedding Eve

Tao Chuyi: "Dad, can girls marry wives too?"

Lord Tao: "Of course. Anything is possible."

~~~

After the Wedding

Nangong Yunshang: "Stay away from me."

Tao Chuyi: "Pretty wife, come here and cuddle!"

Nangong Yunshang: "You're... a girl?"

~~~

After Recovering Her Memories

Tao Chuyi gripped her sword and stood protectively in front. "Today, this subject will protect the princess completely."

Nangong Yunshang cried out in shock: "Chuyi!"

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