002 A Confession That Absolutely Cannot Be Accepted
The teacher appreciation dinner was lively.
More than forty students and six teachers gathered in a large private room, filling three round tables. One table was all boys, one was all girls, and the last was a mix of teachers, class officers, and certain students who liked to be active in front of the teachers.
The usually stern-faced teachers had let down their guard, and the students had unloaded their heavy burdens. Although the final admission results weren’t out yet, everyone was finally able to relax.
In Wang Heng’s eyes, however, the real test had just begun.
Although he was a decent student, he was usually on the quieter side, so he sat down peacefully at the boys’ table next to his best friend, Xiao Renjian. This buddy of his had a very distinct look: a pair of exceptionally thick, bushy eyebrows, reminiscent of Rock Lee from Naruto. However, his gaze often seemed to wander, and the way he raised his eyebrows frequently made him look sleazy. So, compared to a hot-blooded youth, Xiao Renjian more closely resembled a grown-up Crayon Shin-chan.
Noticing that Wang Heng seemed even quieter than usual today, Xiao Renjian picked up some food with his chopsticks and turned to ask, “Little Heng, what are you thinking about?”
“Nothing.”
“I feel like you’re a bit off today…”
“How am I off?”
Xiao Renjian rubbed his chin and said in a serious tone, “You used to always call me ‘Jian Ren’. But today, you actually just used my name.”
Wang Heng: “…Alright, Xiao Jian Ren. By the way, which university did you apply to?”
Xiao Renjian chuckled. “Finally remembered to ask me? I can’t say for sure. My first choice is in Huadu, the second is in Modu, and the third is in the provincial capital. Where I’ll end up, who knows. Oh right, speaking of applications, the admission scores for the University of Electronic Science and Technology have been pretty high in past years. Are you sure you can get in?”
“I’m sure,” Wang Heng said without a hint of hesitation. “I accepted departmental transfer, and the admission score for that university won’t be too high this year.”
“How can you be so confident…” Xiao Renjian was about to continue his teasing when his eyes suddenly darted. “Hey, someone’s staring at you.”
“You mean Han Yixuan?”
“Yeah, look behind you—”
Before Xiao Renjian could finish, Wang Heng cut him off decisively. “Not looking. Eat.”
“Huh?”
Rejecting the yandere ending starts with avoiding eye contact with girls. Wang Heng was, of course, well aware that Han Yixuan was sitting at the next table, just a few steps away. But he simply refused to turn and look, pretending he hadn’t noticed at all.
The dishes on the table were quite plentiful, but there were ultimately few students who talked nonstop. Xiao Renjian discovered that after just a few sentences and a quick look around, the plate of sizzling beef tenderloin that had just been served was already gone. When the lazy susan finally turned to him, the last two slices were snatched away by Wang Heng’s chopsticks.
“Can’t you leave me some?” Xiao Renjian looked grief-stricken.
Wang Heng chewed and said, “Sorry, can’t.”
Just then, a girl’s soft voice sounded from behind him. “Student Wang Heng, could you come outside for a moment?”
The surroundings suddenly fell silent. Then, this strange atmosphere spread, quieting the entire private room.
The students closest to them immediately turned their gazes to Wang Heng and Han Yixuan. The others who hadn’t heard the question were confused but followed the crowd and looked at the two of them as well.
Xiao Renjian was the first to react, letting out a meaningful “Ohhh,” breaking the silence.
Wang Heng sighed and put down his chopsticks. Now, he couldn’t ignore it even if he wanted to.
Several of the boys around them started to hoot and holler:
“Han Yixuan, what are you calling him out for?”
“What secrets do you two have that you can’t say in front of everyone?”
“It’s fine, if you two want to talk, just talk. We won’t eavesdrop…”
The moment there was a hint of gossip, the group of students got excited. Both boys and girls joined in the teasing. Han Yixuan’s face turned completely red, but she kept her eyes fixed on the boy in front of her.
Wang Heng stood up, looked directly at the girl, and replied, “Okay, let’s talk outside.”
The two of them walked out of the private room, enduring the rising and falling jeers from their classmates.
Wang Heng walked in front, with Han Yixuan following behind, her head lowered. They continued like this until they reached the sidewalk outside the restaurant.
It was naturally much quieter outside than in the private room. Wang Heng studied the girl before him. Although her lowered head made it impossible to see her expression, even her earlobes were red, so her cheeks were probably even redder.
He sighed and said, “I can probably guess what you want to say. Unless my self-esteem is way too high… is it a confession?”
Han Yixuan’s voice was very soft. “Your feeling is correct.”
“Understood,” Wang Heng swallowed. “But I’m very sorry.”
The girl lifted her face, her wide eyes filled with shock. “You… hate me?”
“I don’t hate you. Strictly speaking, I actually have a very good impression of you.” He knew that the version of himself she had seen over the past two years must have shown considerable signs of a secret crush, so he had to find a reasonable excuse.
“Then why are you sorry?”
“Because I don’t plan on being in a relationship.”
Han Yixuan was stunned for a moment, then asked, unwilling to give up, “The college entrance exam is already over. Why aren’t you willing?”
Wang Heng threw out the reason he had prepared long ago, the most suitable excuse: “Because after the summer vacation ends, we’ll be separated. I don’t like that. And when it comes to being in a relationship, I’m not ready…”
“What does a big guy like you need to be ready for!” Han Yixuan clenched her fists. “And so what if we’re separated? What era is this? What’s the big deal about a long-distance relationship!”
She was more persistent than he had imagined. Wang Heng could only try to come up with another excuse on the spot. Suddenly, inspiration struck.
“I want to ask a question first,” Wang Heng said. “Why do you like me?”
Han Yixuan hesitated for less than a second before immediately retorting, “Does liking someone need a reason?”
Wang Heng tapped his temple with his index finger. “Every emotion has a reason. Generally speaking, teenage crushes are very shallow, mostly because of a good-looking face. Of course, the reasons people in their twenties, or even forties, like someone of the opposite sex are often just as shallow. So-called ‘love at first sight’ is just another way of saying ‘lust at first sight.’ And then there’s ‘love that grows over time,’ which is nothing more than weighing the pros and cons—that’s even more pragmatic…”
“What on earth are you trying to say?”
“I’m trying to say that the core of love is the instinctual desire to reproduce, plus the fear of loneliness, all wrapped in a shell of culture. That’s all it is. So-called love is an absurd thing, a beautiful illusion people have created. To be in a relationship is to place the focus of your life on an illusion, like building a skyscraper on a swamp. It’s unstable. So, even if we weren’t going to be separated in two months, you and I definitely wouldn’t be compatible.”
Looking at the dumbfounded girl, Wang Heng felt that his impromptu rant had probably worked… right?
***
Translator’s Notes
- Jian Ren (贱人): Xiao Renjian’s name (萧仁健, Xiāo Rénjiàn) is a near-homophone for “贱人” (jiànrén), a common and playful insult among friends meaning “jerk,” “asshole,” or “bastard.”
