Chapter 77: Fifteen

In the darkness, Ye Can clutched the blanket and looked up at Lin Zixi, who was kneeling on the bed. She mumbled grumpily, “I’ve already climbed up here—how can you just casually kick me down like that? I’d lose all face.”

She even thought she was making perfect sense. “Besides, I didn’t do anything to you. I was just thinking about it. Is thinking a crime? It’s not against the law, so I’m not going anywhere.”

Ye Can reached out and yanked Lin Zixi down. She gripped Lin Zixi’s waist and wrapped her in the blanket, pulling her onto her own body as she chattered on, “Alright, enough talking. Time to sleep!”

Lin Zixi was held so tightly she couldn’t move, lying on Ye Can’s chest in a mix of shyness and anger. “Ye Can, do you even know what you just said?”

Ye Can knew this wasn’t going to end anytime soon. She hugged Lin Zixi’s waist, eyes closed, and said to her, “I know. I want to sleep with you.”

Lin Zixi’s body went rigid as she heard Ye Can ramble on, “But wanting you is just human nature, right? After all, you’re so beautiful, your scent is intoxicating, and I’m someone with desires. It’s all perfectly normal.”

“But it’s nothing serious—just physical reactions. It has nothing to do with love.”

Ye Can’s words sounded exactly like those of a scumbag driven by their baser instincts—one who was crystal clear and unapologetically upfront about it.

Yet, aside from the initial anger, Lin Zixi felt a strange spark of joy upon hearing this sexually harassing confession. What kind of experience is this? Normally, if someone even slightly oversteps with their words, I feel disgusted for ages. But Ye Can actually touched me this time, and I don’t hate it at all?

Is the filter of liking someone really that thick? Or am I even more hopeless than Ye Can—like the kind of person who falls for a scumbag’s vibe?

Even so, Lin Zixi was still annoyed. “Ye Can… your hormones are raging from youth. Don’t vent them on me. I don’t have time to play these boring games with you.”

“If you want those carnal pleasures, go find someone else.”

Ye Can held her close, lifting a hand to ruffle her hair softly. “I’m not interested in anyone else.”

Lin Zixi paused, clenching her fists as she lay on Ye Can. After a long moment, she said to her, “I think you’re such a contradictory person. You act interested in me on your own, do offensive things on your own, treat me well without expecting anything in return—and then say you don’t like me.”

“Ye Can, if this isn’t liking me, then what is it?”

“You said before that you see me as family, but have you ever seen anyone treat family like this?”

She couldn’t stand it anymore. Opening her eyes, she stared straight at Ye Can from her position on top of her, gaze firm. “Ye Can, what exactly am I to you?”

Ye Can didn’t open her eyes, saying flatly, “Wanting to treat you well is real. Being a bit obsessed with your body is also real. It just proves how vulgar I am—it doesn’t mean anything more.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t feel good when I kissed you?”

At this point, she opened her eyes and looked down at Lin Zixi seriously. “Life is but a fleeting moment, so why not enjoy it while it lasts?”

“I think things are great between us right now. We don’t need to talk about liking or not—those are irrelevant.”

Lin Zixi let out a cold laugh, thinking, If it’s such a small thing, then why are you so desperate to stop me from liking you?

She knew full well: the better she treated Lin Zixi now, the double the pain that might come back to haunt her later. But she couldn’t bring herself to be cruel to Lin Zixi either. What a vicious cycle.

No solution in sight—Ye Can’s head throbbed. She pulled Lin Zixi closer and said gently, “I’ll always treat you well. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you—including my body.”

“I’ll be your plaything, your little dog, wield the sword for you, protect you completely. But Lin Zixi, can you promise not to like me? Can you give your heart to someone else? And find a path to your own happiness?”

“How about we make that our deal?”

Ye Can’s sweet words were always enchanting, but she never followed through responsibly. Lin Zixi paused before saying, “What you just said sounds a lot like a confession.”

She knew Ye Can had feelings for her—the affection in her eyes was impossible to hide.

Yet this person said they liked her while rejecting her own feelings in return. Something that could be so simple—mutual love—had been twisted into this mess by Ye Can’s faulty brain.

Lin Zixi decided taking Ye Can to see a doctor was urgent.

Ye Can’s voice was soft, as if drifting from another world. “No, it’s a vow. Lin Zixi, I just want you to be happy.” Being with someone like her would only lead to the abyss in the end, never the road to happiness.

Lin Zixi felt that being rejected by the person she liked had already shattered her understanding of “happiness.”

She sighed lightly. “Ye Can, happiness can only come from being with the person you love. Being with someone you don’t love can never be called happiness.” That would just be settling.

Lin Zixi paused, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Do you know what your words today mean? They mean if I like you, you’ll reject me—and then I’ll never have a chance at happiness.”

Ye Can replied without hesitation, “So that’s why I’m telling you not to like me. As long as you don’t, you can be happy.”

Lin Zixi took a deep breath, looking up at her. “But what if I already do?”

With that, she held her breath, waiting quietly for Ye Can’s response.

Ye Can paused but said nothing. In Lin Zixi’s unusual directness, she spotted the traces of affection.

This wasn’t a question—it was a statement. In other words, Lin Zixi was admitting the truth: despite all of Ye Can’s warnings, she had fallen for her.

In the silent night, Ye Can looked down at the woman in her arms, her heartbeat racing out of control. Lin Zixi’s breath brushed her ear—soft, but vividly alive.

Ye Can licked her lips, sensing a thread of reality amid the intoxicating scent.

In this moment, the visions of death churning in her mind began to fade. She cupped Lin Zixi’s face and whispered, “Then… can I kiss you?”

Lin Zixi froze for a second before Ye Can lifted her up and kissed her fiercely.

This kiss was fiercer than any before. Lin Zixi quickly caught on, wrapping her arms clumsily around Ye Can’s neck in response.

The night was absurd and intoxicating, just like every night they’d once spent together—both of them prisoners to their desires.

Lin Zixi had long passed the age of starry-eyed teenage romance, but this was an utterly unprecedented experience. She didn’t know how to handle it and could only go along with Ye Can’s rhythm.

Ye Can didn’t answer her words—instead, she went even further.

As Lin Zixi drifted into exhausted sleep, Ye Can lay on her back, trailing long fingers over her sleeping face. A new thought bubbled up from the depths of her heart.

How much longer can I stay in this world? Can I stay just a little longer?

Being with Lin Zixi… living doesn’t seem so bad after all.

Ye Can didn’t sleep that night. She pondered every word the Immoral God had said, searching for a way to survive.

Morning came quickly. Lin Zixi woke groggily from a deep sleep, only to find herself pinned under Ye Can once more, being tossed about on the bed. She rarely exercised, and this was her first time with such intensity. After being ravished in a haze, she fell back into slumber from sheer exhaustion.

Lin Zixi slept until noon. When she woke, she saw Ye Can sitting on the nearby sofa, playing on her phone. Her ears burned as she sat up, clutching the blanket, and called out, “Ye Can…”

Ye Can looked up with a smile. “Awake? Want something to eat?”

She offered no explanation for the night before. Lin Zixi felt that, as the older one, she should take responsibility. Taking a deep breath, she said to Ye Can, “I’ll take responsibility for you.”

Ye Can’s lips curved in a smile. “Responsibility for what? Aren’t you already keeping me? If you’re supporting me like this, I have to give something back, right?”

“Were you happy last night? Want to keep it like this from now on?”

She smiled lightly. “I like you too.” But her smile was illusory, utterly perfunctory.

Wrapped in the blanket, Lin Zixi saw no sincerity in Ye Can’s expression. It hurt more than all the times Ye Can had insisted she didn’t like her.