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Chapter 1


In the first year of the Taihe era, the new emperor of the Zhao Kingdom ascended the throne. His foster mother, Empress Dowager Yide, was appointed regent by the late emperor’s will, tasked with assisting the young emperor—barely three years old—until he reached the age of fifteen, when she would return the reins of governance.

More than a month after the new emperor’s ascension, a general amnesty was declared. This should have been a joyous occasion, but the literati and scholars in Heavenly Light City, the capital of Zhao, were of mixed feelings.

Accompanying the amnesty decree was an imperial edict appointing an empress. The one being appointed was the legitimate daughter of the Sikong Mansion, Si Yunqin.

Si Yunqin was fifteen years old, the age for marriage. It was said that the legitimate daughter of the Sikong family had a face like peach blossoms, eyes like starry rivers, and on the day of her birth, the sky had been filled with colorful clouds—an auspicious omen.

If it were only that, it wouldn’t have caused scholars all over the world to sigh in regret.

The reason scholars were so regretful was that when Si Yunqin was twelve, she accidentally drank a few cups of wine and barged into a banquet where the Sikong family was hosting scholars. She wrote poems on the spot and engaged in debates with those self-proclaimed lofty talents, discussing everything from poetry and literature to matters of the world. Her breadth of mind, talent, and foresight were definitely not inferior to any man in the world.

She immediately won over the scholars and literati present. She even discussed world affairs with the Grand Tutor at the banquet, neither servile nor overbearing. After the discussion, the Grand Tutor even wanted to take her on as a disciple, but Si Yunqin was unwilling—all because she didn’t want to attend the Imperial Academy and study from dawn till dusk.

The Grand Tutor lowered himself, allowing her not to attend the academy; he only required her to study at his residence for one hour each day.

Si Yan was a military man. He helped the late emperor conquer the vast territories and was once a fearsome figure on the battlefield. He educated his children as if training soldiers. Hence, he was often ridiculed by civil officials at court as a mere brute.

In the past, people only knew that the young ladies and masters of the Sikong Mansion were all excellent in martial arts, but they never knew that the legitimate daughter of the Sikong family possessed such talent.

Thus, overnight, Si Yunqin’s name spread throughout Heavenly Light City, making her a woman admired by countless scholars and a figure of curiosity and admiration among women in the inner chambers.

After waking from her drunkenness, Si Yunqin heard about those remarkable deeds and just wanted to knock herself unconscious. “Alcohol leads to mistakes—the ancients were not deceiving me.”

She didn’t want to be so ostentatious at all, nor did she want to take that damn Grand Tutor as her master. As a good youth from the 21st century who had died from overwork and was reincarnated into this world, she felt that she had probably drunk too little Meng Po’s Soup during reincarnation, because the memories of burning the midnight oil in her previous life were still vivid and fresh in her mind.

Having gone through nine years of compulsory education and studied hard for so many years, she had finally been reincarnated into a wealthy family—no longer needing to study early and late every day. But now, good heavens, she had thrown herself into the fire again. How could she not resent it!

“Alright, study if I must,” Si Yunqin thought. “I could just slack off. Who hasn’t slept in class?” But unexpectedly, that Grand Tutor was a cunning dog. He always picked the times when she was half-asleep to ask questions, and even said that if she answered correctly, she could continue sleeping. Was that humane?

How could Si Yunqin resist such temptation? Every time, she answered earnestly and then earnestly asked the Grand Tutor if she could continue sleeping.

Thus, she originally wanted to keep a low profile, but ended up becoming more and more famous. If she hadn’t been a woman, her classmates might have spread the rumor that she was the Literary Star Incarnate.

Later, the rumor emerged that the legitimate daughter of the Sikong Mansion was an auspicious omen incarnate—not only with peerless beauty but also excelling in both civil and martial arts.

That was so exaggerated that Si Yunqin felt she herself was unworthy of the legendary extraordinary woman described in the rumors. After all, the legendary woman and she had nothing in common except the name.

Now, looking at the imperial edict for the empress appointment, Si Yunqin felt a moment of melancholy. How could something like this, which only appeared in history books, happen to her?

Previously, when reading history books, there were many unbelievable imperial affairs. But Si Yunqin never imagined that she herself would one day be the protagonist of such absurdity. Marrying a three-year-old emperor—that was absurd, wasn’t it?

What was she going for? To be an empress or to be a nanny? But holding the imperial decree and thinking it over, Si Yunqin became resigned. The Empress Dowager was only twenty years old, in the prime of her life. She certainly wouldn’t give up her power easily, so she would definitely keep a close watch on the emperor. Thus, there was actually nothing for Si Yunqin to do. Taking care of the young emperor would all be handled by people arranged by the Empress Dowager. As long as she didn’t interfere in politics and harbored no improper thoughts, she could eat, drink, and sleep well in the harem.

Thinking this way, she suddenly felt that entering the palace wasn’t so bad. It was certainly better than marrying those who came to propose marriage. After all, she was someone who had been as bent as a corkscrew in her past life—marrying would be worse than becoming a nun. But in this era, becoming a nun wasn’t something she could just do; it wasn’t that easy. In comparison, entering the palace was a good choice.

As for why the Empress Dowager chose her to be empress, Si Yunqin didn’t want to think about it and was too lazy to bother. She just wanted to be a brainless slacker. After graduating from university in her previous life, she had entered a big tech company and worked herself to death for some stinking money. In this life, she just wanted to lie flat and be a salted fish. Of course, if one day she was to be punished due to the Sikong family’s political stance or something, she would deal with it then. For now, she would just slack off.

“Miss, I heard that today there are even more people coming to propose marriage.” Just as Si Yunqin was daydreaming, her personal maid Si Yin entered, looking both gossipy and melancholy.

Si Yunqin carefully enshrined the imperial decree, then grabbed the dried fruits on the table and slowly ate a few. “These people are truly brave. The imperial decree has already been issued, yet they still dare to come and propose. Are they tired of living?”

“But Miss, are you really going to enter the palace? His Majesty is only three years old now. Won’t this ruin your whole life?” Si Yin said sadly. She was genuinely worried for Si Yunqin.

Si Yunqin finished the dried fruits in her hand and clapped her hands. “Everything is fate. The boat will straighten itself when it reaches the bridge. Don’t think too much.”

“When I went out to buy things for you just now, I heard many people expressing regret for you.” Si Yin shelled melon seeds for her while quietly telling Si Yunqin what she had heard outside.

Si Yunqin chuckled softly. “What’s there to regret? I’m entering the imperial palace to be the empress, not to suffer. No need to pull such a long face.”

With her pale, slender fingers, she pinched Si Yin’s cheeks into a smile that was uglier than a cry. “Your miss here is going to the palace to enjoy a life of ease.”

“Yunqin, do you really think that way?” A gentle and helpless voice came. Si Yunqin turned around and saw her elder siblings all coming over.

The one at the forefront was her eldest sister, Si Xiaoyu, wearing a purple-green skirt and a purple shirt, lightly made up, with a simple bun. Her brows and eyes carried more heroism than ordinary women. Even standing next to her two brothers, she appeared valiant and spirited.

After wiping her hands, Si Yunqin ran up to Si Xiaoyu. “Elder Sister, Second Brother, Third Brother, why are you all here?”

“We were afraid you might be upset and came to check on you, but you actually look very happy.” Si Yuanju looked at his younger sister’s unconcerned demeanor and seriously wondered if she was really the one being appointed empress today. After all, entering the palace wasn’t a good thing.

“Second Brother, what are you saying? The Son of Heaven bestows a marriage—shouldn’t I laugh? If I cry, someone might report that the Sikong Mansion is disrespectful to the Son of Heaven. What then?” Si Yunqin walked back to the table, grabbed a handful of dried fruits, and opened her hand to ask Si Xiaoyu and her two brothers, “Want some?”

Si Yuanyou took a few dried fruits from her hand and ate them without ceremony, then handed her a box of pastries. “We brought this to comfort you in case you were sad, but it seems it’s for celebration now.”

Si Yunqin quickly took it. “Thank you, Third Brother. Third Brother dotes on me the most.” After speaking, she handed the pastries to Si Yin, then linked arms with Si Xiaoyu. “Elder Sister, why are you back today? Where is brother-in-law?”

“He is on duty at the palace today. He’ll come a bit later.” Si Xiaoyu was born to Si Yan’s Second Madam. When Si Yunqin was young, Si Xiaoyu didn’t really like her. But later, relying on her age, Si Yunqin often acted spoiled, vied for favor, and showed attentiveness. With her naturally good looks, she managed to make Si Xiaoyu treat her like a real sister.

Although they were technically sisters, they were not born of the same mother. Now that Si Yunqin was suddenly appointed empress, the entire Sikong family, except for herself, was shrouded in gloom.

Soon, her mother and maternal aunt also came over. Both had tears in their eyes, which troubled Si Yunqin.

Seeing them all with worried expressions, Si Yunqin had to use all her tricks to comfort each of them. It took a long time to calm her mother and aunt down.

After coaxing the whole family, she was quite tired—mentally exhausted. The next day, Si Yunqin received an oral order from the Empress Dowager saying the wedding would be held at the beginning of next month.

Counting on her fingers, it was only half a month away. Si Yunqin wondered: how anxious was the Empress Dowager to bring her into the palace? It certainly wasn’t the young emperor who was in a hurry to marry her; it could only be the Empress Dowager.

Thinking this way, Si Yunqin conjured up a plot of “she loves me so much; I can’t marry you, but I can let my son marry you.” If she weren’t the one being married off, Si Yunqin would definitely stay up all night writing a poignant story of love that could not be.

The Zhao Kingdom had a custom that the bride’s wedding dress should be embroidered by herself. But because this was an imperial wedding of great importance, Si Yunqin’s mediocre embroidery skills would be an insult to royal dignity if she did it herself. She herself would be happy to embroider—it was actually quite fun.

Originally, Si Yunqin thought she would just wait peacefully for the wedding during this half-month. But then the Empress Dowager issued another edict, saying she would send palace matrons to teach her court etiquette.

In this life, Si Yunqin had learned many things since birth, and she enjoyed them. They were things she had wanted to learn in her previous life but had no time or perseverance to continue—such as calligraphy, needlework, chess, and even horse riding and archery. She learned all of them quite well. But there was one thing that caused her pain just hearing about it.

That was etiquette. The Zhao Kingdom was established after ending over two hundred years of chaos in the world, so the late emperor placed special emphasis on the reconstruction of rites and laws.

Just hearing that she had to learn those etiquettes gave Si Yunqin a headache. Things like three kneels and nine bows, and what ceremony to perform when meeting whom—it was truly annoying and truly without any equality.

After all, this was an era where the Son of Heaven was supreme, where fathers and elder brothers were supreme, and where elders were supreme. There were strict hierarchies and distinctions between master and servant.

Although it wasn’t the harshest feudal era in terms of rituals, for someone with memories from several thousand years in the future, it was still hard to accept.

So she always called Si Yin by her name, didn’t like being served in every matter, and especially disliked hearing her refer to herself as a servant.

Si Yunqin felt she was very conflicted. She enjoyed the comfort of the present but was also struggling to accept certain things.

As soon as the edict came down, Si Yunqin couldn’t help but hug Si Xiaoyu and cry. “Wuwuwu, Elder Sister, I don’t want to be empress anymore.”

Si Xiaoyu loosely embraced her and teased, “Wasn’t it Yunqin who said yesterday that making a sad face when the Son of Heaven appoints an empress is a great disrespect? Why are you crying today?”

“But I have to learn those damn etiquettes again. It’s so annoying.” Si Yunqin looked like a dark cloud had settled on her face, but that actually made Si Xiaoyu laugh.

“Can’t you still deal with those teaching matrons? In the past, the etiquette matrons Father hired to teach you were all twisted around your finger, weren’t they?”

Si Yunqin sighed deeply. “That’s different. Those people Father hired knew that Father dotes on me, so they wouldn’t do anything to me anyway. But these are people sent by the Empress Dowager, and they are also her eyes and ears. How can I play those little tricks in front of them?”

“Elder Sister, my life is so hard~” Si Yunqin said pitifully.

Seeing her like this, Si Xiaoyu couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. “Then perhaps ask Father to cancel this marriage? Does Yunqin have a man in her heart?”

Hearing this, Si Yunqin sobered up. She pulled away from Si Xiaoyu’s embrace. “Stop, Elder Sister. If I have to marry a man anyway, I’d rather enter the palace.”

“Isn’t there a single young man in Heavenly Light City that catches our Yunqin’s eye?” Si Xiaoyu asked again, unwilling to give up.

“No. All the men in the world are the same. They say they admire me, but it’s only because they want to marry me to prove their own capabilities. Once they have me, they can boast, ‘Look at the woman you couldn’t get; I got her.’ No matter how talented a woman is, she still has to marry someone. Besides, most of those who come to propose have never even seen my face, yet they can write lengthy declarations of admiration.”

Si Yunqin shook her head. “Since that’s the case, I might as well marry the person with the highest status in the world. At least I can get a noble title.”

“But the Empress Dowager holds power. How can she let you have an easy time?” Si Xiaoyu said worriedly.

Si Yunqin shook her head. “Elder Sister, you don’t understand the Empress Dowager. She won’t do anything to me or the young emperor. Whether she has ambitions or not, the young emperor is currently the source of her power, so she will naturally treat him as her own son. A twenty-year-old who can act as regent is no ordinary person.”

After hearing her out, Si Xiaoyu nodded thoughtfully, but then quickly covered Si Yunqin’s mouth. “Elder Sister knows you are clever, but once you truly enter the palace, you must keep these words buried in your heart.”

Si Yunqin blinked at her, then moved her hand away. “Elder Sister, I’m not tired of living. Besides, what do these matters have to do with me? I just want to enter the palace to freeload. I’m waiting to taste the imperial chef’s cooking. If it’s good, I’ll secretly send some out to you.”

“That’s not necessary. Stay safe in the palace and be the empress. The Si family and the Yun family will protect you.”

“Hehe, I’m not worried. Don’t say anymore, Elder Sister. I smell the fragrance of pastries from the Spirit Gathering Studio. If I don’t eat them now, when Mother comes, she won’t let me eat them. She says if I get fat, I won’t be able to fit into the wedding dress.” Si Yunqin twitched her nose and pleaded with Si Xiaoyu.

“Only you have such a keen nose. This wasn’t bought by me today; it was bought by your Second Brother. He had to go to the drill field today and asked me to remember to buy them for you.”

“Brothers and Elder Sister are the ones who dote on Yunqin the most.” So saying, Si Yunqin opened the pastry box. After eating one piece, she felt satisfied. “By the way, Elder Sister, I’ve collected a lot of good things over time. I can’t take them into the palace with me. Later, come with me and pick some things to take back home.”

“You can leave them at home. Mother will keep them safe for you.” Si Xiaoyu saw Si Yunqin feed her a piece of pastry and opened her mouth to eat it without ceremony.

Si Yunqin shook her head. “These things, no matter how good, only have meaning if someone uses and appreciates them. Stacked up there without appreciation or use, they are just dead objects—meaningless. Let Elder Sister choose first, and after you’re done, give them to the brothers.”

Meeting her smile, Si Xiaoyu finally nodded lightly. “Alright.”

Just as Si Yunqin finished eating, she saw her mother coming with some people. She quickly wiped her hands and put on a demure and dignified expression.


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The Young Empress Always Gets Caught Slacking Off in the Harem

The Young Empress Always Gets Caught Slacking Off in the Harem

小皇后在后宫摸鱼总被抓
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

It was said that the Empress of the Zhao Kingdom was skilled in both letters and martial arts, knowing all of heaven above and earth below.

At twelve, she had already astonished all of Heavenly Light City, and every scholar under heaven exhausted their ink to praise her.

But at fifteen, an imperial edict sealed her fate as the New Empress.

Every scholar of Zhao lamented for her, and for one reason alone—the new emperor was merely a three-year-old child.

Yet Si Yunqin, as the Empress herself, wasn't the least bit sorry.

The Emperor was still young; there were plenty of people to take care of him. With no one else in the harem, she could enjoy the peace and quiet.

She had food, clothes, and attendants. When something came up, she slacked off; when nothing did, she lay flat.

Compared to her previous life, where she had worked herself to death from burnout, this was simply a heavenly existence.

But why did the Empress Dowager of the Respectful Peace Palace always manage to catch her slacking off?

Assigning palace affairs to the consorts to handle—that could be called slacking off?

That was called reasonable allocation of human resources.

The young emperor memorizing his lessons on his own—that could be called slacking off?

That was called "Read a book a hundred times, and its meaning will become clear."

The Empress Dowager nodded in approval, slowly sipping her tea, and said,

"Your Majesty the Empress speaks most reasonably. Why don't you go on and talk about how to assign the officials of the Former Imperial Court?"

Si Yunqin dared not speak. Say too much, and her mouth would ache; say too little, and her waist would ache.

Later, the Empress Dowager became the new Emperor, yet the Empress remained the Empress.

Si Yunqin thought she could finally lie down in peace.

But it turned out that capitalists would squeeze every last drop of surplus value from a worker.

By day, she had to accompany the Emperor in handling state affairs; by night, she had to accompany the Emperor to relieve her needs.

She lay down all right, but her waist was a bit sore.

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