There is No Escaping the Hero 10

There is No Escaping the Hero

Chapter 10: The Night of Departure

The carriage rumbled along the highway. Schutz was the driver, but even while holding the reins, he kept glancing behind him, looking somewhat restless.

Incidentally, inside the carriage—

“…”

“…”

『Hey, hey, let’s play shiritori.』

A thick curtain of incredibly awkward silence had descended. Solo and Soare hadn’t made eye contact or spoken for over ten minutes now.

Solo, thinking he was probably the elder here,

(I should be the one to speak up, right? But what should I say to a princess? Saying “Your panties had a cute pattern” would be bad, right?)

Was wondering if he should initiate the conversation. If he was wondering, he should just speak up quickly, but unfortunately, Solo, who basically lived a solitary life, had considerable difficulty with interpersonal relationships. Despite appearances, he was surprisingly shy.

『Obviously.』

(Hey Toro, teach me how to start a conversation.)

『Oon… First, start with an apology like “Sorry about the other day”.』

(I didn’t do anything wrong though.)

『Didn’t you reflect that you said too much?』

(…That is true.)

『There are relationships that start with “I’m sorry.” Now, show me your apology skills, Partner.』

(…Huh? Are you perhaps enjoying this?)

『No, no.』

Shaking off his lingering doubts, Solo cleared his throat in his mind. As the elder, he had to break the ice.

“…Ah.”

Just as he opened his mouth thinking that,

“Although there was fault on your side as well the other day, my actions were too impolite. I apologize.”

Unexpectedly, Soare beat him to the punch with an apology at a good—or rather, bad—timing.

“Au.”

Solo could only mumble.

“Ah, um, I also said a little too much. I’m sorry.”

“A little?”

“Ah, not a little. Yes.”

“Right. We both said too much and acted excessively. That is all.”

(…Hmm? Is that so? I was almost killed though?)

『Don’t question it, Partner. Swallow it for now. Smooth things over; that’s what being an adult is.』

(Being an adult… sucks.)

Solo felt less like things were smoothed over and more like he was railroaded, but anyway, it seemed she forgave him for the misunderstanding at their first meeting, stealing the buttons, and dragging down her trousers. He didn’t think it was excessive self-defense since he was almost killed, but—

“Just one thing, I will make clear.”

“Hmm?”

“You do not know Elder Sister, Luna Andreia. She is stronger and more beautiful than anyone. Elder Sister is alive. Definitely.”

“…”

“The reason I am accompanying this journey is to find Elder Sister and stand by her side this time. Because I have trained and prepared for that purpose.”

Soare’s eyes shone blue and strong.
It wasn’t clinging to the phantom of her sister like before; the color of trying to lean on something somewhere had disappeared, and a strong feeling of fighting together, of being useful this time, came to the forefront.

“…I think she’s dead, but, well, whatever.”

He used to get annoyed at the effeminacy of trying to cling even to those who fought and fell, but strangely, he didn’t feel annoyed now that she had come full circle and blown past it like this.
Do as you like, was the feeling.

But,

“Haa?”

Directed that reaction, Soare,

“To not understand even after I said all this… your IQ seems to be considerably low.”

Spat words picking a fight again.

“U-Umm. It’s more like ‘Do as you like’, so it’s kinda affirmative, or rather…”

For a princess, she was too hot-blooded.

“Hmph… this is why commoners are so stubborn. Fine, I will teach you. The numerous anecdotes Elder Sister established. If I do that, surely even you should be able to understand.”

“U-Umm.”

“First, before I was born! Immediately after being born, Elder Sister held her finger to the heavens and released lightning. Everyone who witnessed it was convinced. That Elder Sister is a child of God sent by Goddess-sama.”

(S-Smells like a lie.)

『But, I feel like that woman might actually do it.』

(That is true.)

“She stood at one month old, understood language at three months—”

(Oy, oy, she’s not stopping.)

『Well, listen to her. She’ll stop eventually.』

(…I really don’t mesh with this woman at all.)

Soare’s narration about her sister continued like a raging wave, and while Solo was attacked by drowsiness here and there,

“Hey, wake up!”

“Fuga, I-I’m awake.”

“Then, I’ll continue!”

“…Yes’m.”

『Hehehe, never a dull moment.』

He was smacked awake by Soare and had information crammed into him relentlessly.

Watching Solo hanging his head and Toro,

“Hahahaha.”

Schutz, holding the reins as the driver, laughed happily.

***

Not used to the travel speed of a carriage, and with no post town nearby by the time the sun set, they camped out from the first day.

Solo and Schutz were used to it. They briskly gathered firewood, started a fire, found stones that could serve as light seats, and completed a stylish camp.

Meanwhile,

“…”

The Princess, not knowing what to do, watched the scene from the carriage. Thinking that looks somewhat fun, I want to try, but knowing that if she laid a hand on meal preparation in the royal palace, the chef who overlooked it and the servers would all be fired and she would be scolded too.
So, the habit of not interfering was ingrained.

Actually, Schutz heaved the best-looking stone—or rather, rock—and prepared Soare’s seat in the best spot around the campfire, considering the wind direction and everything.

(Sooomehow doesn’t sit right with me.)

『That’s how princesses are. Partner, be an adult.』

(Keh.)

Special treatment was natural; Solo couldn’t quite accept this, but,

“Tonight, using ingredients from the royal capital, I shall prepare a dish with all my skill.”

With one statement from Schutz,

“Uhyohyohyohyo!”

It was blown away in one shot. Born in the gutter, raised in the gutter; he was simply built.

And so, the three people and one sword surrounded the campfire for an elegant dinner.

An excited Solo heaped a large serving of Schutz’s special stew for himself,

“Itadakiiii.”

And devoured it faster than anyone.

“…Solo, where are the words of prayer?”

“Haa? No one around me says stuff like that.”

“You… what do you intend to do if Goddess-sama gets offended by that and her descent is delayed? It would be a huge loss for all of humanity!”

“Does Goddess-sama sulk just because she’s not prayed to at mealtime? Isn’t that awfully narrow-minded, or kinda petty?”

“It’s a figure of speech, a figure of speech! Or rather, your words just now were truly impertinent. Apologize to Goddess-sama and retract them! Right now!”

“No way~. Bleeeh.”

“Y-You… he really is rude, isn’t he, Schutz!”

“No, well, um.”

“In the first place, Pops didn’t say it either, did he!? During the meal.”

“Gik!?”

“Schutz!”

“Ah, no, um, it is customary to omit various things in the field.”

“Can you say that to the Holy Church?”

“Au.”

It was the first time seeing Schutz shrink so small. Yay, you’re getting scolded, Solo laughed loudly.

“Also, during meals, the superiors should eat first, right? In this case, me, Schutz, and then you. Understand?”

“Nooope, don’t understand. Ideally, I’d admit Pops who made the food is first. But I’m second. No matter how you think about it.”

“Haa? How does it become like that no matter how you think about it!”

“You’re the newest rookie, right?”

“Stop calling me ‘You’!”

“Princess, the etymology of ‘Omae’ (You) is ‘On-mae’ (In front of the honorable one), and um, actually it is very polite language—”

“I don’t need trivia, Schutz.”

“…Yes.”

Who was superior; there was something neither could concede there. If they admitted it here, the hierarchy for the journey ahead would be decided. Princess, gutter-raised, first come first served; there was logic to both.
They absolutely could not back down from this mounting battle.

“You have absolutely no intention of backing down, do you, commoner?”

“Of course. Even gutter rats have pride, Princess.”

“Duel!”

The two never learned.

『Hopeless.』

Toro could only be exasperated. At the two who were stupider than him, an inorganic object.

To those two,

“Stop fighting!”

Schutz’s loud voice flew. The loud voice of someone who rarely got angry,

“…”

Completely silenced the two and one sword.

“Princess, no, I dare to call you Soare-sama from now on. You said you were disowned, correct?”

“Y-Yes. That is true, but.”

Soare, who had never been yelled at by Schutz nor scolded, answered in a faltering tone.

“In that case, Soare-sama is not a person connected to the royal family right now.”

“T-That is correct.”

In her heart, she thought, But the Azul family is also super prestigious though, but she kept her mouth shut because she was scared. Rage from someone she thought wouldn’t get angry no matter what was super effective.

“I am also a banished body from the kingdom, I am no one.”

“…”

“Solo, do you have proof of your standing?”

“As you know, I have nothing, Pops. If anything, just this guy.”

Solo tapped his own left arm.

『What about me!?』

Toro retorted, but it was splendidly ignored here.

“Fine. In that case, the three of us are no one. To talk about superiors or whatever there is ridiculous. Is it not?”

“…It is not.”

Seeing the shrinking Soare, Solo was excited inside. As expected of Pops, tell this cheeky princess more, he thought, but—

“Solo is also a problem.”

“Eh?”

Naturally, the spearhead turned to him too.

“We are companions. Even without hierarchy, there is a need to be considerate while spending time together. You must change the mindset that only you matter.”

“…Yessir.”

“There is no hierarchy, but eating more than everyone else without permission lacks class.”

“Yes, I will be careful from now on.”

“Good! Then, let us eat. The three of us, getting along!”

“Yes.”

Getting along, a meal full of smiles was realized.
He felt like two people had stiff smiles—but that was just part of the charm.

With that, they finished dinner, and Schutz gathered everyone.
And spread out a map.

“I will convey the purpose of our journey once again.”

“Ah, come to think of it, I feel like I haven’t heard it. Didn’t really care though.”

At Solo’s carefree reaction,

“You… you’ve been traveling with Schutz for a reasonably long time, right? Why don’t you know the purpose of the journey? Normally you’d ask.”

Soare was exasperated.

“I heard we were going to the Kingdom of Andreia.”

“And beyond that?”

“Dunno?”

“…Aren’t you curious?”

“Not reaaally. Since it’s hard for me to go back to my hometown anyway.”

“Why?”

“I have a criminal record. A pickpocket whose face is known has it tough.”

“Wait, Schutz! This man is a criminal! Probably a sex offender, a dangerous person!”

“I said pickpocket. Stealing, I tell you.”

“Either way, a criminal!”

“Well yeah, hehe.”

“Why are you proud!”

Saying they get excited over little things sounds nice, but whether their clashing personalities meshed or were just repelling each other—
Either way,

“Eei! I am in the middle of talking!”

“Sorry, we’ll be quiet.”

It settled down with Schutz’s shout.

“I already told Soare-sama, but the purpose of our journey is to find the God-made weapons and armor scattered and hidden across the world by Goddess-sama three hundred years ago.”

“…I have Toro-suke, you know?”

“Toro-suke?”

“Ah, this Holy Sword. I gave it a nickname.”

Incidentally, the fact that Toro was a Demonic Sword was a secret from everyone.

“U-Umu, is that so. I thought it was quite pop. To each their own, sorry.”

“You’re welcome.”

The conversation kept getting derailed and wouldn’t progress.

“Ahem. The purpose of finding them includes finding some for ourselves, but the main purpose is to deliver the God-made weapons and armor to the battlefield.”

“Ah, I see.”

『Oh, I see.』

Solo & Toro accepted the reason.

“It is a battlefield where they would want to borrow even a cat’s paw, but even if we go to the front lines, it would be a drop in the bucket. Rather, find stronger weapons and armor and send them as appropriate. It is only legend now, but I hear some God-made weapons are worth a thousand soldiers.”

『Like me.』

(At best a hundred, right?)

『Oho? If you pay up, it’s amazing, hey. You’ll fly!』

(Scary. Sounds like drugs.)

One person and one sword continuing to derail the conversation in their minds.

“Originally, Princess… Luna-sama intended to do so as well. Although we repelled the Corps Commander ‘Black Heavens’ once and the battlefield regained a little calm, it is clear that we will be worn down at this rate. To overturn it, supernatural power is needed. And as much as possible.”

“Means searching for stuff like Toro-suke.”

“Umu. However, things that can be found easily have likely already been found and possessed by various countries. Anything other than that is like grasping clouds.”

“Toro-suke stood out a lot.”

“That is why we went immediately. A hill where a Holy Sword that no one can pull is stuck; if it was Luna-sama, perhaps, we thought. Though we didn’t expect there to be a previous customer.”

“Were there other guys who came to pull it?”

“Over three hundred years, there were thousands. I hear that until about a hundred years ago, sightseeing tours were organized for it. Seeking challengers.”

“…What a cheap legend.”

『Hehe, I was working as a tourism resource. Despite how I look.』

However, because it was too un-pullable for anyone, it gradually died down and weathered until now. Well, until very recently, the need for weapons was thin, so maybe it couldn’t be helped that it was neglected.

“Also, there is information Luna-sama had gathered. We are not going in blind.”

“Excellent foresight. We lost a precious person.”

“She’s not dead!”

“Gonna get angry again? Hmm?”

“Sorry. We are friends.”

“Good.”

Ahem, clearing his throat again,

“Furthermore, there are things we can do on the road because we are drifters.”

“Ah, that tree.”

“Umu. Too dangerous to leave. To make it even a little easier for the battlefield and each country, we will remove every Oak we see by the roots. These are the two main objectives.”

Running around the blue continent of Azul, searching for hidden Goddess-made weapons and armor. Parallel to that, exterminating the Demonic Tree Oaks located away from the battlefield.

This was what Schutz decided they could do now.
Solo had no objections.

“Questions?”

“None. For now, I’ll tag along until I get bored, Pops.”

“Fuhaha, reliable.”

“…”

Against the laughing Schutz, Soare narrowed her eyes at the frivolous remark.

“Well then, I guess I’ll make a bed. Even camping, I want to sleep as comfortably as possible.”

『Let’s gather grass and make a carpet.』

(Heh. I’ll make it super fluffy.)

Watching Solo’s back as he walked away saying that with scornful eyes, Soare said to Schutz,

“‘Until I get bored’… can you really trust someone like that?”

He’s an untrustworthy man.

“Haha, if you took that man’s frivolous talk seriously, you wouldn’t last. He is a man of backbone, despite that. He is the man the Princess chose, after all.”

“Haa!? Y-You’re joking, right!? Elder Sister with a commoner like that is impossible!”

“Well, who knows. Soare-sama, please sleep in the carriage. I will follow Solo’s example and make a handmade bed.”

“That man will complain about the unfairness anyway, right?”

“He went to make a bed first so he wouldn’t complain.”

“…Ah.”

Noticing Solo’s ‘consideration’, Soare’s eyes widened.

“Don’t you think he’s surprisingly not a bad man? Being frivolous is a flaw, though.”

“…”

Schutz joined the bed-making while laughing “Hahahaha.” Watching that scene, staring at the back of the frivolous man who was all talk,

“…Hmph.”

She looked down and snorted softly.

It was such a night of departure.