Couldn’t do it last night.
After bumping Chu Ruoyou’s nose and hurting her, Yun Huizhi felt so guilty she couldn’t stand it, cursing herself as an idiot, a stupid pig.
Chu Ruoyou, in pain, also had no desire for that aspect anymore. Her brows tightly furrowed, she covered her mouth and nose, lying on her side. Only when the pain subsided somewhat did she fall asleep.
Waking up in the morning, the first thing Yun Huizhi did was flip over to check her nose.
Under Chu Ruoyou’s sleepy, not-fully-awake gaze, she tentatively, gently rubbed her nose bridge with a fingertip and whispered, “Does it still hurt?”
Thankfully, Chu Ruoyou said she didn’t feel it anymore.
So tonight, Yun Huizhi didn’t have good intentions, and Chu Ruoyou was fully aware. When hands wandered to places a massage shouldn’t touch, she only secretly gripped the pillowcase tighter.
She had noticed Yun Huizhi’s low spirits since they left the scenic area, and she hadn’t wanted to talk much after returning either.
She let her digest it for an evening, and only then did Chu Ruoyou try to coax her. Although she wasn’t sure if her mood was because of herself, it was fine as long as coaxing worked.
Emboldened by the indulgence, Yun Huizhi grew bolder. She dropped the pretense of gentleness and silently tossed aside any obstructing clothing.
She had mastered all of Chu Ruoyou’s weaknesses and didn’t bother with detours. The more Chu Ruoyou feared a spot, the more she teased it.
Her eagerness and dominance were exceptionally obvious. Chu Ruoyou could only endure, going from meeting her advances to surrendering in less than half an hour.
The night was deep. Yun Huizhi held her tight, as if embracing a luminous pearl. “You’re trembling. Why is that?”
Her persistent “why” became softer and softer with each repetition. It wasn’t that she didn’t know; she deliberately wanted the other person to say something suggestive.
“Don’t know.” Chu Ruoyou turned her head away, ignoring her.
Yun Huizhi laughed, holding her very tight. When her uncontrollable trembling subsided, she called out her full name, “Chu Ruoyou, you ate candy behind my back, didn’t you? How is your mouth so sweet?”
Chu Ruoyou was stunned for a moment by the way she called her name—it was light, lively, and carried a hint of coyness.
“From the ones you took at the front desk. Before I came to talk to you, I was eating it.”
“What about the other one?”
Yun Huizhi had seen them when passing by, said that candy was tasty, and stuffed two into Chu Ruoyou’s pocket.
She said, “I want something sweet too, my mouth tastes a bit salty.”
Chu Ruoyou’s face flushed, and she fell silent. The chaotic images from earlier rushed back into her mind, unsettling her heart.
“Finished it.”
“You ate both by yourself!” Yun Huizhi accused. A treat-hoarding fiend.
“It was delicious.” Chu Ruoyou said it as if it were only natural.
Talk of candy was just a lead-in. Yun Huizhi immediately followed up with, “Has my oral skill improved?”
She was quite pleased with herself. Chu Ruoyou’s reaction had been very gratifying.
Their compatibility now was far higher than the first couple of times.
Annoyed, Chu Ruoyou turned her back to her, “I’m going to sleep, don’t bother me.”
“Didn’t you just say you needed to use the bathroom? Why aren’t you going?”
They’d stopped because Chu Ruoyou said she couldn’t take it anymore and needed a trip to the restroom.
Yun Huizhi hadn’t allowed it, and she almost cried.
Chu Ruoyou abruptly sat up, not wanting to hear another word from her.
Just as she reached the bathroom door, she turned back, slightly angered, and asked loudly, “Why are you following me?”
“I need to rinse my mouth.”
Yun Huizhi half-carried, half-pushed Chu Ruoyou inside. Once the mirror reflected them, she felt a moment of daze.
She had thought a mirror could show everything clearly, but bringing Chu Ruoyou here, examining her in the mirror revealed nothing beyond her beautiful exterior; she still couldn’t see through her.
Chu Ruoyou’s embarrassment and annoyance quickly passed. She composed herself, tilting her head up slightly to look at the mirror surface.
“Yun Huizhi, do you want to do it here?” she asked.
“Do you want to?”
“Mm.”
Chu Ruoyou was someone willing to try new things. Sometimes, she didn’t put on airs, which often allowed Yun Huizhi to feel completely fulfilled.
That night, they went until the early hours. Yun Huizhi didn’t have an ounce of strength left.
After the laughter, the teasing, the soothing, the warmth stolen and snatched from Chu Ruoyou suddenly dissipated when they each settled to sleep. It couldn’t warm the cold moon outside the window.
She still felt a hollowness in her heart. Though it was joyful, she knew it wouldn’t last.
But she quickly came to terms with it. She thought, although I know it won’t last, still, it is joyful.
She held Chu Ruoyou, like taking melatonin, closed her eyes, and fell straight asleep.
The next day had no plans, so no alarm. They slept until the sun was high.
“I had so many dreams.” The moment she opened her eyes, she couldn’t wait to tell Chu Ruoyou.
“I dreamed too.”
“You first then. What did you dream?”
Chu Ruoyou chuckled, “I dreamed we were kissing on the street and my family saw us.”
“That’s terrifying.”
Yun Huizhi liked Chu Ruoyou’s dream. She wanted that.
“My dream is kind of similar to yours. I dreamed you and I were doing it at my mom’s place. We were really loud, having an absolute blast. When we finished, I realized someone had been home the whole time.”
“That’s pretty scary too.”
Chu Ruoyou found it embarrassing just thinking about it. “Have you come out to your family?”
“I haven’t explicitly told them, but I figure they probably know.”
“Don’t rush it. Since you’re still planning to study, wait until a few years later when you’re completely financially independent.”
Chu Ruoyou advised very earnestly.
Yun Huizhi agreed. “Though it’s not that I’m afraid to tell them. It’s just that I don’t think they really care.”
“No parent wouldn’t care about this.”
She said it with conviction.
“Really?”
Yun Huizhi laughed softly, changing the subject. “I also dreamed you suddenly left, and I couldn’t find you.”
“That dramatic?” Chu Ruoyou mocked.
Yun Huizhi threw a small tantrum, “Maybe it’s subconscious. I just feel like you’re the type of bad woman who’d leave without saying goodbye.”
Chu Ruoyou came back with, “Maybe.”
“No! If you decide which day you’re leaving, you have to tell me the moment you decide, so I can mentally prepare. Don’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Yun Huizhi sat up, saying with utmost seriousness, “I know you came here to have fun. We’re each getting what we need. When you say you want to leave, I won’t try to make you stay just to earn a bit more money. So just let me know, okay? Don’t worry about not being able to leave.”
“I know you’re not that kind of person.” Chu Ruoyou was unwilling to assume malicious intent about her.
“So you have to tell me, because I really, really hate it when people leave without saying goodbye.”
Her expression became too grave. Chu Ruoyou couldn’t help but ask her, “Has it happened to you?”
Yun Huizhi was hit right in a sore spot, but her composure remained. She had said she had no conversational landmines.
“Yes, it has. Didn’t feel good.”
Chu Ruoyou found helplessness and fear in the emotions Yun Huizhi tried so hard to hide. She thought, to Yun Huizhi, being abandoned without a word wasn’t just uncomfortable—she must hate it deeply.
But in a relationship like theirs, what did it matter if she said something or not? Did it matter if she hated it or not?
But she couldn’t bear to point that out. This version of Yun Huizhi made her want to hold her, to irresponsibly coax her, promising her oceans of security.
She nodded slowly, seeing Yun Huizhi’s lips curve up. She said, “Close your eyes.”
Yun Huizhi obeyed. In the darkness, she heard Chu Ruoyou open the drawer, followed by the sound of plastic being torn.
Finger cots? Not really appropriate… kind of in the mood to go eat.
Lost in wild thoughts, a piece of candy was pressed to her lips. She opened her eyes. It was one of the two from yesterday.
“Saved one for you. You weren’t good last night, so you didn’t get it. Now eat it, and be happy all day.”
Chu Ruoyou believed that whether Yun Huizhi was happy or not was, at least for now, very important to her.
