Chapter 26

The standing fan rhythmically blew the scent of gardenia air freshener throughout the room. It was sweet and warm, mixed with the southern breeze coming in through the windows.

It also blew the cold, aloof chill from Chu Ruoyou right in front of Yun Huizhi.

The air seemed to stagnate. The space occupied only by them was so quiet it was maddeningly frustrating. Yun Huizhi wished for two more rainstorms outside just to gloss over it.

But the rain wouldn’t come again. When the clouds dispersed, the sun would shine straight down.

The blazing sun would then patrol those once-damp, dark corners, brightening up all the ambiguous little things from the days of constant rain.

“Is it truly more serious, or do you just think you’re serious?”

Chu Ruoyou’s question was sharp. She was immune to words that seemed soulful and deep but were more akin to pretentious self-obsession.

Yun Huizhi froze for a second. Her first reaction wasn’t anger or resentment at being questioned or challenged. She calmly followed Chu Ruoyou’s line of thought and realized this question was crucial.

She had blurted it out on impulse, but what exactly was the measure of “serious”?

When this relationship started, she had fed Chu Ruoyou a bunch of lies, and every day she was still taking her money. Did that also count as serious?

For a moment, she didn’t dare to speak with certainty. She knew that her conviction and courage, in front of Chu Ruoyou, might just look like immaturity, only inviting laughter.

She didn’t dare offer her heart again, didn’t dare lay out her feelings and hopes so openly.

Calming down, she replied with a nonchalant attitude, “Maybe none of it counts. Maybe I just said that to show off, to earn some likability points.”

She herself laughed after saying it.

Spouting such crap was actually quite interesting; at least it made her feel bad for a good while. As if she weren’t answering the person she liked, but striking a bell.

Each toll was deafeningly loud, making her insides twist into knots, restless and agitated.

She had retreated again.

Chu Ruoyou didn’t play dumb as usual. She stopped her and asked, “You say one thing one moment, another the next. What exactly do you mean?”

Yun Huizhi didn’t respond.

She somewhat regretted it. Would things end the moment they were laid bare?

Chu Ruoyou followed up with, “You don’t even know yourself, do you.”

This was more like she was saying it to herself.

Yun Huizhi’s personality was just like that—fiery, expressive, happy to voice things before figuring them out completely.

“That’s not true.”

Yun Huizhi hadn’t spoken without thinking. On the contrary, concerning her relationship with Chu Ruoyou, she had thought far too much.

“It’s just that no matter what I mean, it’s all the same. It won’t make a difference.”

She laid it out clearly.

She didn’t expect Chu Ruoyou to respond. So whether she was serious or not, it didn’t matter, did it?

“Mm, yes.” Chu Ruoyou answered without hesitation.

She sat in front of the sofa, half her face against the light, half clearly and movingly illuminated.

She was always serious when not smiling. She must be a formidable teacher in front of her students. Taking her class required being well-behaved and careful.

But Yun Huizhi wasn’t afraid. She had seen so many of Chu Ruoyou’s unserious expressions and believed those were more real.

Right now, she was just bluffing.

So she sat up straight, as proper as raising a hand to answer in a lecture, “You don’t need to respond to me. Saying it isn’t that hard. The night we got soaked in the rain together, I told you, I like you. You heard it, right.”

Chu Ruoyou lowered her gaze first, then lifted her eyelids, her eyes not holding much laughter.

“I don’t mean anything else by it. It’s what I feel in my heart. I’m saying it because you’re leaving. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after. I’m not afraid to tell you. You shouldn’t be afraid to hear it. Just don’t leave early because I said it. Otherwise, you’d be betraying my honesty.”

Her eyes were bright, like gazing at a precious luminous pearl in the night. “Chu Ruoyou, you are extraordinarily attractive. Many people have probably said so, but I still have to say it. I was captivated the moment I saw you. I’m very shallow. Before, I didn’t know I could like someone like you. But now I know, someone like you is exactly the kind of person I should like.”

She had heard plenty of confessions, but one like this—with those puppy-dog eyes, so clean and innocent, looking right at you, boldly declaring affection, holding nothing back, yet asking for nothing—was a first.

After she finished, her face turned red, her eyes still fluttering. She covered her face with her hands, shy yet utterly delighted.

It took Chu Ruoyou immense effort to resist the urge to go over and hold her. She held this sincere offering, not knowing where to place it, so she just tucked it into her own heart.

She pretended to be calm, as if the few extra years she had on Yun Huizhi meant she had seen plenty of this sort of thing.

“Spending every day and night together like this, it’s easy to develop fond feelings. Mistaking it for love is normal. You dared to say it, and I dare to hear it. It’s said, it’s heard. It doesn’t affect a smooth parting.”

“Right. Doesn’t affect. Good that it doesn’t.” Yun Huizhi was relieved. She was thankful Chu Ruoyou was a mature woman.

“After we separate, returning to our own lives, this fondness will gradually fade, leaving only a shallow memory, blurred and unclear.”

“That sounds like the voice of experience.”

Yun Huizhi teased.

“Just analyzing from a psychological perspective.”

“What if it can’t be forgotten? As time apart lengthens, the longing deepens instead. All those things I hadn’t understood before become crystal clear. Past details replay in my mind over and over. Then regret, wistfulness, obsession, sleepless nights. What then?”

Yun Huizhi was like a knowledge-thirsty student. She didn’t have an aggressive stance, but she had a premonition she would be troubled by these things.

Chu Ruoyou had no way to answer her question.

She hadn’t thought about it.

Why did Yun Huizhi think so much?

Ever considerate, seeing Chu Ruoyou in a difficult spot, Yun Huizhi laughed and went over to hug her.

“When the time comes, whatever will be, will be. Bitter fruit you sought out yourself, you just have to swallow it.”

“That’s how you think, right? I know you so well. Quick, kiss me as a reward.”

Chu Ruoyou kissed her.

It wasn’t a reward. But she didn’t say so.

Dinner was at the barbecue place again. Zhang Cai was like a piece of sticky candy. The moment she saw Chu Ruoyou, her eyes went straight.

Sitting down, she immediately flirted, “Everyone else got tanned. How come Sister Chu got even fairer?”

Not even familiar with you, and already calling her Sister Chu.

Girl, don’t be so quick to glom on.

Yun Huizhi was full of silent complaints.

Chu Ruoyou smiled politely, “Probably because it rained for a few days and I didn’t go out. So I got pale again.”

“Rainy days are so boring. What did you two do without going out?”

Zhang Cai’s original meaning was: tourists finally get a trip, and running into several days of rain usually makes them frustrated, so they try to find fun indoors. Otherwise, it’s a waste.

Since Chu Ruoyou hadn’t gone out, she must have had other activities to pass the time.

But as soon as she asked, her heart tightened, realizing she’d been a bit tactless.

Second Older Brother said they were sharing a room. She also knew about their relationship. Wasn’t it a bit perverted to ask that?

Luckily, after only a brief silence, Chu Ruoyou answered normally, “Just like your brother, read every day. Slept when tired. Huizhi likes gaming, I kept her company sometimes.”

Yun Huizhi nodded, “That’s right.”

That was the end of the free info this time.

This time, Yun Huizhi deliberately didn’t order crayfish. Chu Ruoyou didn’t like them, and she didn’t want to recall past sad feelings.

But Zhang Cai just had to clash with her and generously sent a portion over. “Saw you didn’t order any, let me treat you.”

Yun Huizhi nearly spat blood. Even Zhang Cai could treat her, but once Chu Ruoyou left, she wouldn’t treat her anymore.

Faced with a friend’s overflowing kindness, she could only show a bright smile. “Thanks, Boss.”

Zhang Cai looked at them eagerly. “Then let’s all exchange WeChats, the three of us.”

Yun Huizhi: “Take the crayfish back.”

“Don’t be like that! No WeChat is fine, no WeChat. Who’d want it taken back? Eat, eat.”

Yun Huizhi was a pro at peeling crayfish but only ate for herself. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to give some to Chu Ruoyou. Chu Ruoyou had said that kind of thing was too cringey—it’s just a shrimp, do you really need to feed each other?

This woman was truly immune to romance.

After eating, Yun Huizhi took a trip to the restroom and got intercepted again. Zhang Cai asked, “Are you two together now?”

“What’s it to you?”

“I mean, how high are your standards? You don’t fancy me, but you also don’t fancy her?”

“Sister Zhang, you’re making me want to kneel and apologize. Who am I? Do I even qualify to be picky?”

“Then why aren’t you together?”

Yun Huizhi was speechless. “Get this straight: she’s the one who doesn’t fancy me.”

“Why? What’s wrong with you?” Zhang Cai truly didn’t understand what these adults were thinking.

“I mean, why are you so worked up?”

“I want to ship you.”

“Kids shouldn’t ship things blindly. Pay attention to your Second Older Brother. What’s with him dressing up so flashy lately?” Yun Huizhi diverted the conversation.

“It’s a long story.”

Yun Huizhi pricked up her ears. “Give me the short version.”

“He seems to have his eye on the auntie next door who moved back to town with her kid after her husband died.”

“How old?”

“About thirty, I think.”

“Really, Lady, thirty counts as ‘auntie’ to you? How young do you think you are?”

Yun Huizhi didn’t like chatting with her. A little kid who didn’t understand love at all.

She came back with the gossip to share with Chu Ruoyou. Chu Ruoyou wasn’t surprised. “Not unexpected. Little Zhang has his own inner world. People like that often don’t play by the usual rules.”

“I’m quite surprised. I used to think he liked guys, but last time he said he likes straight women.”

The night wind was cool and crisp. Yun Huizhi had taken off her jacket and put it on Chu Ruoyou. Wearing her clothes, Chu Ruoyou felt the body heat that belonged to Yun Huizhi.

She held Yun Huizhi’s hand in the alleyway, mocking her, “You really aren’t good at reading people. A pilot’s eyes probably have some bragging involved.”

“You all are just too good at hiding it. Like you, you’re way too much like a pure straight girl.” Yun Huizhi was helpless.

She came right out saying she just got divorced, then acted completely inexperienced. Yun Huizhi had thought she was here to explore new territory.

“You thought I totally didn’t like women. When you were doing things with me, didn’t you feel psychological pressure? Didn’t it feel uncomfortable, weird?”

Yun Huizhi thought for a moment, shook her head, and said, “Eh, not really. I didn’t think about it that much. I don’t care if you like it or not; I just like it.”

“You really are…” Chu Ruoyou couldn’t find the right word. Anyway, Yun Huizhi’s enthusiasm back then had at times made her feel purely exhilarated. She didn’t need to think about anything either.

Yun Huizhi laughed at her words, her thoughts jumping wildly, getting excited about something else.

“Neighbor! I have to go see what Little Zhang’s neighbor looks like someday, how she captivated him.”

She was still childlike at heart, even skipping twice as she spoke.

The second skip landed on a loose stone slab. Muddy water splashed out from underneath. Chu Ruoyou’s white pants bore the brunt of it.

Silence.

Chu Ruoyou’s face was a bit too calm.

“I’m sorry, sister, my bad. I’ll hand-wash them for you when we get back, hang them to dry, iron them flat.”

Yun Huizhi tightly grasped her hands, which were already starting to build up force, using ten-tenths sincerity to soothe the queen’s wrath and avoid a beating.

“Walk properly.” Chu Ruoyou let her off.

Strolling around near the inn, passing an open-air food stall, Chu Ruoyou smelled the aroma of everyday life. It felt reassuring. Time flowed slowly here.

Some words she had never spoken to anyone were drawn out by this aroma, right there on the tip of her tongue.

“The word ‘neighbor’ reminds me of a friend of mine. It’s a huge psychological scar for her.”

“How so?”

Chu Ruoyou rarely talked about her life. Yun Huizhi was very interested.

“My friend, when she was at the age of first awakening to love, secretly fell for her neighbor, an older sister. She was two years older. Completely captivated her.”

An old story. Who hasn’t crushed on a few people? Yun Huizhi shook her head. “Loving older sisters… nothing you can do about it.”

“She was still young then and didn’t dare to think about same-sex love. She just worked hard and got into the same university. Studied in the library together, walked on the sports field together, went shopping and traveling together.”

“Did the other one like her?”

“I don’t know.”

Yun Huizhi laughed. “Wow, you didn’t even finish listening to the gossip.”

“At the time, my friend felt that since the other person was willing to do all these things with her, she must like her too, right? Plus, that person never dated anyone.”

“So wasn’t that mutual affection? What happened after that? Did they confess?”

Chu Ruoyou’s voice was muffled in the night. “No confession. She didn’t dare. The other person didn’t approve of homosexuality and was very averse to it whenever the topic came up. It seemed she was just especially nice to my friend.”

“So it just stayed unclear like that?” Yun Huizhi thought it was a pity.

“Later, my friend tested the waters for two years, found the other person still didn’t show signs of that kind of interest, so she gave up. Just stayed purely friends. Two years ago, that person dated a man. Two years later, that person got married.”

Chu Ruoyou spoke the story calmly.

Hearing it made Yun Huizhi’s heart clench. “Holy crap, your friend is way too tragic.”

“Not really. She brought it on herself.”

“Seems like you two have both had a rough year—one divorced, one secretly loving a straight woman in vain.”

Yun Huizhi suggested, “What zodiac sign is your friend? You should get her a Lucky Bead too, so she doesn’t run into this kind of cursed luck again.”

Chu Ruoyou directly changed the subject. “I think I’m a bit better off than her.”

“I met someone really good. She helped me walk out from under a big chunk of my past gloom.”

Yun Huizhi’s brows and eyes lifted upwards, but she deliberately asked, “Who’s that?”

“A kind-hearted person who gave me a Lucky Bead.”

“What’s her name?”

“Huizhi.”

Chu Ruoyou stopped walking and looked up. “Look at the moon.”