Chapter 49: …I Have Someone I Like. Part 2

“Is there something you want to tell her? Why not just say it? Maybe you can change history. Tell her.”

Yue Chengqi leaned into those hands, closed her eyes, and spoke slowly in a voice warmed by alcohol. “When I was little, when my dad was still around, she loved her work very much. Back then, they had the ‘woman outside, man inside’ dynamic. I thought my mom was so cool. She could dominate the market, everyone wanted to be friends with her, and I even got a lot of special attention because of it.”

“Later, Cheng Pingshan died, but she continued her career. So, I was the one who was neglected. At that time, Everguest was in a critical development period. I had to rely on myself every day.”

Back then, there was no food delivery, only phone orders at most. But she ate alone; she ordered so little that shops she wasn’t familiar with wouldn’t even deliver. She ate beef noodles every day, day after day, until she eventually started cooking for herself.

Su Ye: “So, do you hate her?”

“I don’t know,” Yue Chengqi said.

She supported female independence. She hoped every woman could have her own career and stand at the highest point to see the stunning scenery previously monopolized by the opposite sex. Thus, after she matured, she had set Yue Wenfeng’s life as her own goal. She wanted to achieve that level too; she wanted to stand at the top.

But she had once been a child. And when she was a child, she couldn’t help but resent her mother, doubting her love, falling into a vicious cycle, and eventually… falling into endless self-blame—wondering if it was because of her that Yue Wenfeng was tormented, failing on both fronts, her face full of the hardships of life.

After so many years, looking back, she nestled between Su Ye’s slender fingers and whispered, “There is a lamentable, thick barrier between our hearts.”

“…”

Su Ye didn’t know what to say, so she could only accompany her in silence.

The sound of a television came from next door again. Su Ye thought of something and said, “Isn’t this just because you communicate too little! Now is such a good opportunity. Go and communicate with her! Talk to her, act like a confidante and tell her stories about ‘other people’s children’ so she can learn from them. Won’t things change then?”

“It won’t change. Over those twenty-some years, many people told her to care more about me, but she could only manage it for a few days before returning to her work. Many people who used connections to enter the unit looked for positions like hers, because usually, those were idle jobs where you just drank tea and read newspapers. Only she turned it into a high-performance position. She is truly amazing. I really like her when she’s working. I…”

The girl opened her misty eyes, looking around sluggishly. “Am I… talking nonsense?”

Liking her and not liking her at the same time—if anyone heard that, they’d probably want to pull her ears and ask if she actually liked her mother or not.

She did like her. She liked the formidable Yue Wenfeng who dominated the world.

But she didn’t like the woman who didn’t know how to balance work and family, who was always on the verge of sacrificing her family, yet because she loved her daughter, she would constantly force herself into awkward positions. In the end, she would try to bring her daughter into her work, only to end up covered in wounds and failing both sides.

She had even thought that if Yue Wenfeng had completely immersed herself in work and sent her to a relative’s house, a friend’s house, or Su Ye’s house, she might not have felt this miserable.

They were like two people sitting on opposite ends of a scale, desperately adding weights to balance it, but gradually losing themselves in the process, becoming dizzy and losing the strength to struggle.

Su Ye smiled, pinching her cheek. “How could you be? Right now, Ah Huan doesn’t have that ‘wise old adult’ vibe at all. You finally look like a little kid just like me. It’s just…”

I want to kiss her.

Su Ye was startled by her own thought and abruptly changed her wording. “Too cute!”

“…” The drunk girl accepted her fate and leaned forward, bumping her head into the crook of Su Ye’s shoulder, humming stubbornly, “Don’t push me! Don’t tell me!”

“Fine, fine, fine. I won’t talk about you. Just lean there, be good.”

“…You’re coaxing me like a child.”

Su Ye laughed. “Aren’t you a child? Little Huan-huan, little niece, my lonely, quiet, silly little niece.”

As she spoke, she used her hands to pinch the thin girl’s cheeks, tugging them left and right, giggling incessantly.

What’s there to laugh at? What’s so funny?

Yue Chengqi wanted to push herself up, but she had too little experience with drinking. She didn’t know that after getting drunk, the worst thing you could do was stay slumped over like that. By the time she tried to get up again, her limbs were soft. After struggling twice, she ended up collapsing right into Su Ye’s arms.

Both of them were stunned for a moment.

Su Ye chuckled. “My little niece is shy. She’s throwing herself into my arms.”

Yue Chengqi glared at her fiercely—but with the alcohol taking hold, her whole face was flushed and her eyes were misty, making that “fierce” look carry absolutely no pressure.

Still, Su Ye stopped her laughing at the right time, steadying Yue Chengqi’s arm. “Can you walk? If not, I’ll go next door and call Zhang Mingfang to help you.”

“I can, no problem.” The girl spoke in a muddled way, her steps weaving and uncoordinated as she threw herself toward the house.

She leaned against the doorframe and suddenly smiled. “Eh, why am I back here?”

Su Ye: ? What do you mean back here? Haven’t you been living here this whole time?

The girl muttered, “My teddy bear, hehe… hugging the bear to go to sleep.”

Su Ye steered her wheelchair with one hand while cautiously supporting the girl with the other, terrified she would fall or throw herself onto the ground for the sake of some bear.

This troublesome child. If she couldn’t drink, she should have said so earlier.

The poor girl stumbled along. She didn’t find the wrong room, but she didn’t lie down or slump over upon entering. Instead, she knelt on the bed, searching from the head to the foot, then from the foot back to the head, growing more frantic as she searched.

Su Ye hopped over and pressed her down. “What are you looking for?”

“My… teddy bear…” the girl murmured, suddenly lifting the blanket she had neatly folded. “Found you…!”

Her excited words stopped abruptly. She dropped her hands dejectedly. “It’s not here.”

“The teddy bear is gone.”

Su Ye held back a laugh—how could this person be like this when drunk? Insisting on finding a toy bear. She usually acted like a big sister; who would have thought she liked toys? This contrast after getting drunk was truly massive.

She silently rubbed her aching brow. Indeed, she hadn’t expected the girl to literally crash into a wall like this.

Seeing that Yue Chengqi was about to start searching again, Su Ye sat on the edge of the bed and held her shoulders. “I’ll buy you one later, okay? Let’s go to sleep first, okay?”

The girl looked at her as if thinking. Only after distinguishing the person in front of her did she react. “Auntie, you’re here too!” ?

“Auntie, did Mommy go on a business trip again? It’s okay… Little… Little… forget it. I can sleep by myself, don’t worry about me.” ?

When you’re drunk, does your brain turn into this?

Yue Huan really couldn’t handle her alcohol. Su Ye wouldn’t dare let her drink ever again.

Just as Su Ye was about to press her down to sleep, the girl suddenly lunged forward, nearly taking Su Ye down with her. She clung to Su Ye’s neck like a koala and whispered, “Auntie, do you think Mommy will remember to celebrate my birthday?”

“She didn’t give me a proper birthday last year, but I’m turning ten this year… and that bear is already three years old… she doesn’t have a little sister, just like me, I don’t have a mommy…”

Ten years old.

So it was 2010.

Su Ye thought: What a coincidence. Can I actually talk to the little Yue Huan of 2010?

She smiled, gently stroking Yue Huan’s shoulder. “She will. She definitely will. She loves you so much.”

All mothers loved their children, and all children loved their mothers. It was just that they all had their deviations, and they forgot how best to love.

“Really?”

“Really. She loves you so much. She even asked Auntie yesterday to bring you some toys. She’ll buy them no matter how expensive they are.”

The girl lay on her shoulder, murmuring, “I love her so much too. I want to buy things for her too. I…”

“I’ll buy her a book of practice exams.”

Su Ye: …This kid really knows how to return kindness with a ‘grudge.’

But for a top student, perhaps in her mind, a book of practice exams really was better than anything else. Maybe. Perhaps. Forget it; Su Ye couldn’t convince herself.

There was no need to convince herself anymore. The child leaning on her shoulder had already fallen into a deep sleep.

She was a decent drunk; she didn’t cause a scene or go crazy. She just lay on her shoulder. A few wet drops soaked through the thin clothes on Su Ye’s shoulder and landed on her skin, feeling a bit cool and a bit heartbreaking.

Su Ye tilted her head, pressing her forehead against the girl’s. She whispered, “Is that why you like the future me so much? Because your mom wasn’t there, you could only follow me, right?”

Then this kind of feeling… wait, something’s not right. This doesn’t seem to be her feeling for Yue Huan. Does Yue Huan really think of her that way?

Seeing me as a motherly woman?!

Su Ye’s spine went stiff. She froze as she laid the person down flat. After a moment, she pressed her hand to her temple—no, no, it clearly wasn’t like that. Yue Huan’s eyes were just as ‘impure’ as her own. How could it be like that!

But what if that ‘impurity’ was for the future her? What if the current her was just… a replacement?

Did Yue Huan—no, the future her—have different feelings?

*

Su Ye remembered the painful past where the two of them had remained silent, resulting in a fight that lasted half a month. Having learned her lesson, she went to Lin Wanjia’s courtyard early the next morning to wait for her to wake up.

Unexpectedly, the first person to come out with a toothbrush and a white towel was Zhang Mingfang.

The older and younger women stared at each other. Zhang Mingfang’s steps faltered as she said with difficulty, “Coming to see your sister this early?”

Her voice had a raspy quality that Su Ye didn’t yet understand.

Su Ye nodded. “While Ah Huan hasn’t woken up yet, I came to ask about something.”

Zhang Mingfang, with foam in her mouth, asked indistinctly, “You weren’t drunk last night, were you? Your brain should be clear, right?”

She circled Su Ye twice with a lack of confidence, murmuring, “There are no signs… is it necessary to come and ask so early?”

Su Ye: “…”

She belatedly understood something and stamped her foot. “I’m not here for you! Where’s Sister Wanjia?”

“The ‘child’ was acting up until the middle of the night and only fell asleep a short while ago. If you have something to say, say it to me.”

“…Then forget it. I’ll wait until later in the day.”

“I can also share your burdens. Tell me. I’m seven years older than her; I know more than she does. Come on, come on.”

Su Ye bit her lip and looked at her. “Then you’re not allowed to laugh, and you’re not allowed to tease me.”

Zhang Mingfang swore she wouldn’t, then quickly rinsed her mouth. “Speak.”

Su Ye said, “The thing is… I have someone I like.”

“Little Huan?”

“Yes. But I’m not sure if she likes me. Although she also likes girls, I feel like she prefers people older than her. I…”

“I don’t seem to fit her criteria for a partner.”