Chapter 64: Awakening Part 1

Huang Qi tidied up, and Wang Ya lay on the bed to rest. She had not been asleep for long when she suddenly felt Demonic Aura surging from Wang Ya’s body. She looked up and saw a hazy red demonic glow before her eyes. She reached out to touch Wang Ya and felt a gentle Demonic Power circulating within Wang Ya’s body. Wang Ya’s breathing grew stronger with the flow of the Demonic Power, as if she was recovering.

Seeing that Wang Ya was fine, Huang Qi found Wang Cheng’an guarding the door and refusing to leave. After some persuasion and having him check on Wang Ya to confirm she was unharmed, she finally convinced Wang Cheng’an to rest, then returned to her own room.

Zhang Qingshui had not slept yet. When she saw Huang Qi enter, she asked, “How is Wang Ya?”

Huang Qi said, “It was oxygen deprivation and suffocation. The rescue was timely, and with her body full of Demonic Power sustaining her, she’s not in serious condition.” She added, “I mean her body is not in serious condition.” She asked, “Qing Jie, why did you do that?”

Zhang Qingshui asked, “Does asking why now even matter?”

Huang Qi said, “I want to know the reason. Qing Jie, if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed you capable of such a thing. I know you; you’re not that kind of person. I know Wang Ya with her full Demonic Aura is beautiful and alluring, but you shouldn’t— What exactly made you do this?”

Zhang Qingshui clenched her fists, closed her eyes, and said, “Perhaps I’m not as good as you think I am.”

Huang Qi asked, “What exactly happened?”

Zhang Qingshui let out a low sigh and said slowly, “Her charm, her beauty, her Demonic Aura, the faint fragrance she emitted, her helpless state after getting drunk—it was too tempting. I couldn’t control the evil thoughts in my heart. I wanted to possess her, to conquer her, to see her subdued and unable to struggle, to hold her completely in my grasp. Little Qi, there’s a demonic obsession in my heart. I knew it was wrong, knew it would ruin my Dao Heart, but I couldn’t control myself. My mind was full of her; even the air I breathed carried her scent. I knew it was wrong, knew the consequences were severe, but I did it anyway.”

Huang Qi was utterly speechless at Zhang Qingshui’s words, “I knew it was wrong, knew the consequences were severe, but I did it anyway.” Knowing it was wrong and the consequences yet still doing it—what could one even say? Huang Qi asked, “Have you thought about how this will end? Qing Jie, Wang Ya has helped us, more than once. If she hadn’t gotten involved in my affairs, her identity as a Feng Family Descendant might not have been exposed, and she wouldn’t have ended up like this. Yes, she works for money, and she revealed her Feng Family Descendant identity herself—we bear no responsibility for that. But this matter is still connected to us, isn’t it? Moreover, she’s helping us find the Ghost Pill right now. How could you hurt her like this? Even if she were a complete stranger or an enemy, you shouldn’t have done that!”

Zhang Qingshui said, “I understand everything you’re saying, Little Qi. Perhaps this is just like how I’m naturally attracted to women. I know liking the same sex brings immense pressure, even the risk of losing everything, but I still can’t change my orientation.”

Huang Qi exclaimed, “Even if you’re more attracted to women and didn’t choose a man, you haven’t been with any woman either!”

Zhang Qingshui said, “That’s because I haven’t found someone worth risking everything for.”

Huang Qi asked, “Is Wang Ya that person?” If she were, Qing Jie wouldn’t have hurt her like this.

Zhang Qingshui shook her head and said, “What I feel for her is more about wanting to possess and conquer her.”

Huang Qi asked, “So you’ve already thought about what happens when Wang Ya wakes up tomorrow and comes to settle the score with you?”

Zhang Qingshui nodded and said, “What I’ve done, I naturally have to bear the consequences.”

Huang Qi asked, “What if she wants to kill you?”

Zhang Qingshui said, “Wang Ya won’t. She doesn’t have the capital to kill me. If she kills me, she won’t survive either. Wang Cheng’an is a fool; without her, no one would take care of him. Feng Yuqin is waiting for her to save her, and the Feng Family Inheritance is waiting for her to carry it on. Even with a blood feud as deep as the sea, in her eyes, my life isn’t as important as her own, Wang Cheng’an’s, and Feng Yuqin’s three lives. If she wants to live, she must keep me alive.”

Huang Qi fell silent for a long while upon hearing this, and only after a long time did she sigh, “Qing Jie, where have right and wrong, heavenly principles and ethics gone? There are things that can be done and things that cannot. Even if you’re certain Wang Ya can’t do anything to you, touch your heart and ask yourself: how are you any different from demons and evils? With an impure heart, how can you stand tall or manage a household? Qing Jie, don’t ruin yourself and the Zhang Family. Even if you hold Wang Ya’s weakness now and she can’t touch you, what about the future? A gentleman takes revenge after ten years. You’ve planted the seed of hatred in her heart; the longer time passes, the more she’ll hate you, and her future revenge will be even more frenzied. I know you understand everything I’m saying, but I hope you can give Wang Ya an explanation and put this matter to rest. If you’ve done wrong, you should take responsibility, not keep making mistakes on top of mistakes.”

Zhang Qingshui let out a heavy sigh and said, “Little Qi, some things aren’t easy to explain to you; you wouldn’t understand. Nothing will change between Wang Ya and me because of tonight. I owe Wang Ya, and I can only protect her as much as possible when I can—that’s the only thing I can do.”

Huang Qi was completely speechless and no longer wanted to talk to Zhang Qingshui at length. She went straight to bed and curled up on the edge to sleep.

Zhang Qingshui let out a low sigh, walked to the window, and stood there sleepless through the night. How could she not know that what she did was wrong? How could she not know that acting this way was improper? How could she not want to restrain her desires? How could she not want her mind free of lustful thoughts about Wang Ya? How could she not want to be pure-hearted, upright in conduct, flawless, and perfect in every way? Zhang Qingshui silently recited Wang Ya’s name in her heart and sighed inwardly. If she hadn’t seen Wang Ya in her drunken haze tonight and had instead handed her over to Wang Cheng’an to carry upstairs, perhaps things would have been different. However, there were no “ifs” in the world. Even if she could go back, in that situation, it could only be her and Little Qi who escorted Wang Ya back to her room, not those three middle-aged men or Granny Wu and Auntie Wu. Having men escort Wang Ya back would be improper, and handing the demonically manifested Wang Ya to ordinary people like Granny Wu and Auntie Wu would be even worse. Zhang Qingshui could only accept that this tribulation was fated for her, and she could not escape it.