Chapter 34
—Your existence itself is the most precious protection for me.
Qiao Xiaoxiao’s nose suddenly tingled, and hot tears welled up in her eyes. She bit her lower lip hard, but she couldn’t stop the surging heat.
This was her sister, always able to accurately catch every bit of her anxiety and self-loathing at her most vulnerable moments.
Many years later, when Qiao Xiaoxiao stood at the peak of her career and looked back on this past, she would still remember that moment.
—At that time, I was like a small blade of grass cowering in a corner, thin and sensitive, so much so that even the lightest wind could make me sway. It was my sister who, with all her gentleness, bent down to build a wall for me to shelter from the wind and rain.
Chu Xinrou knew Qiao Xiaoxiao. She gave her a chance to “escape,” smiled at her, and said, “For breakfast, can I have plain noodles?”
Qiao Xiaoxiao immediately nodded. She bit her lip and walked out quickly, afraid that if she stayed a second longer, she would cry in front of her sister.
It wasn’t until she reached the small courtyard that Qiao Xiaoxiao allowed herself to squat down, hot tears streaming through her fingers.
She didn’t know what was wrong with her.
These tears came out of nowhere. In the past, when she was scolded and humiliated, she could always stubbornly hold her head high and swallow her grievances. But now, in the face of her sister’s gentleness, that forbearance and strength were so fragile, turning her back into a vulnerable little girl.
The Second Miss had woken up before dawn and had found a quiet corner, leaning against the old locust tree in a daze. Last night, she had received a call from Chu Yunji, telling her to come home immediately today for an important family gathering. Her father was still as domineering as ever, hanging up right after he finished, not allowing her a single word of rebuttal.
She was reluctant to leave this place, reluctant to leave the soft Nuonuo, reluctant to leave Qiao Xiaoxiao, with whom she bickered, reluctant to leave the clean and simple flowers and grass here…
But in the end, she had to return to reality.
The morning mist had not yet dissipated. She looked up at the sky, which had never been tainted by the mortal world, so pure blue, so boundless.
When Qiao Xiaoxiao stumbled into the courtyard, she didn’t see her, but the Second Miss saw her at a glance. She had witnessed the entire process of Qiao Xiaoxiao squatting down and breaking down in tears.
Her words last night had been too harsh, the Second Miss knew it. But as proud as she was, she had never apologized to anyone. Her fingertips dug deep into her palms until she felt a faint pain. She hesitated for a moment, then finally stepped forward and squatted down beside Qiao Xiaoxiao. “Hey.”
Qiao Xiaoxiao hadn’t expected anyone to be there. She trembled and hurriedly wiped her face.
Chu Fengyi turned her face away, a rare awkwardness in her voice. “Don’t cry.”
Hearing her say this, Qiao Xiaoxiao’s tears flowed even more fiercely.
“Don’t…” Chu Fengyi was at a loss, her voice unconsciously softening. “Don’t cry, Sister Xiaoxiao. I’m sorry, I was wrong yesterday… but you got your revenge, you threw up all over me… it was disgusting.”
As she spoke, perhaps because tears were contagious, large tears also streamed down Chu Fengyi’s face. The Second Miss had a bad temper and was strong-willed. It had been a long time since she had cried so freely. This made the crying Qiao Xiaoxiao, who was beside her, stunned. “What are you crying for?”
“None of your business,” Chu Fengyi turned her face away, sobbing, but she couldn’t stop the surging tears.
What was she crying for? She was crying for the impending departure, for this clear sky, for the fact that when she returned, what awaited her were those hypocritical calculations.
And her sister… even though she still deliberately maintained a distance, her eyes were clearly filled with an unconcealable concern. Chu Fengyi firmly believed that she loved her, and that there must be some unspeakable reason. She didn’t know when they would meet again.
When the Second Miss was leaving, the usually sensible Nuonuo cried her heart out. She held onto Chu Fengyi’s small hand and wouldn’t let go, no matter what. Even when Qiao Xiaoxiao scolded her, it was useless. She just wouldn’t let go.
Chu Fengyi’s eyes turned red again and again. She had secretly wiped her tears countless times, but she still couldn’t help it. She reached out and hugged the soft, warm little ball of fluff she had been holding these past few days. Feeling her trembling in her arms, she choked out, “Nuonuo, I’ll come and see you.”
She actually wanted to take Nuonuo with her. In fact, this morning, she had hesitated for a long time and had gone to find Chu Xinrou.
Chu Fengyi didn’t know how to say what was in her heart to her sister. She really liked Nuonuo so much and wanted to take her back to take good care of her and treat her throat. She had hesitated for a long time before she finally spoke. “Jie, I want to… I want to take Nuonuo back with me.”
Chu Xinrou’s gaze was as calm as the autumn water, as if it could see through people’s hearts. She was silent for a long time before she turned her head and asked softly, “Can you be responsible for her whole life?”
You can protect her for a while, but not for a lifetime.
These words, although cruel, were the truth. They were like a basin of cold water poured on Chu Fengyi’s heart. That’s right. In that family, where there were undercurrents everywhere, even Chu Xinrou had to be careful at every step to protect her sister. If she took Nuonuo back, those covetous eyes, those hidden calculations, would all use this innocent child to manipulate her.
The sunlight streamed through the window lattice, drawing a clear line between light and shadow in the room.
Chu Xinrou stood in the shadows, while Chu Fengyi was bathed in a golden halo.
A long silence spread between them.
After a long while, Chu Fengyi looked at her sister, her eyes sparkling with tears. “So, Jiejie, did you leave to protect me?”
Chu Xinrou didn’t answer, her lips pressed tightly together.
In the end, Chu Fengyi looked at her sister’s thin back, the stubbornness in her eyes gradually turning into determination. “I will grow up eventually, and I will bring you back home.”
The Second Miss cried again, but this time, she was crying and smiling.
Worry not only makes people cry, but it also forges an indestructible strength in the heart.
In the end, Chu Fengyi still left. Before she left, she frequently looked back in the direction of the small house, tears welling up in her eyes. Chu Xinrou never showed herself, just hid in the shadows by the window, watching that figure gradually recede until it disappeared at the end of the road.
Qiao Xiaoxiao saw this and quietly went to the fireworks shop. She hugged the crying Nuonuo, whose eyes were swollen, and who was curled up in her blanket, and even managed to pull Chu Xinrou out of the door.
They went to the highest point of the mountain. The wind was a bit strong, making Nuonuo squint, and she forgot to cry.
Chu Xinrou stared at Qiao Xiaoxiao. The night wind lifted her waterfall-like black hair, fine starlight flowing in the ends. The moonlight made her porcelain-white skin almost transparent, as if her whole being was glowing. She tilted her head slightly, a faint smile on her lips.
She knew that this child understood her.
Nuonuo had never expected that her sister, who usually had to be so careful even when buying sparklers, would suddenly buy so many fireworks after the New Year.
“Watch closely!” Qiao Xiaoxiao held a cigarette in her mouth and crouched down to get close to the fuse. But her hand trembled, and instead of lighting the fuse, she ended up sitting on the ground because she had stepped back too quickly.
Seeing her sister’s comical appearance, Nuonuo burst out laughing. Even Chu Xinrou couldn’t help but chuckle.
The mountain wind carried their laughter into the distance, as if it could reach the ears of the person who was on her way back.
In the night sky, fireworks bloomed one after another. The brilliant light flowed in Chu Xinrou’s clear eyes, reflecting her focused profile. Nuonuo tilted her little face up and clapped her hands excitedly, letting out “ah ah” sounds of amazement.
Qiao Xiaoxiao looked at the smiling faces of the big and small figures illuminated by the fireworks, a sour warmth surging in her chest. She knew her strength was meager, and what she could give was perhaps like this fleeting firework, pitifully short. But at this moment, looking at the dancing light in their eyes, listening to Nuonuo’s cheerful cries, she suddenly felt that even if she could only be a momentary light, as long as it could illuminate their smiles, it was enough.
The Spring Festival of 2012 was destined to be a special one for Qiao Xiaoxiao.
This New Year, she was no longer alone. She held her sister’s hand in her left and her little sister in her right, and embarked on the journey home.
Before she left, Qiao Xiaoxiao had specially bought a snow-white cotton-padded jacket for Nuonuo. The little girl’s skin was as white as snow. Wrapped in the fluffy collar, she looked just like an exquisite porcelain doll. Nuonuo, who had never left the village, looked around with wide eyes, full of curiosity about everything. She pressed her face against the car window, watching the rapidly receding scenery, letting out “wu wu” sounds of amazement from time to in time, her little finger pointing out the window and waving excitedly.
Qiao Xiaoxiao showed an unprecedented patience. From the wild flowers and weeds by the roadside to the towering skyscrapers, she explained everything to her sister in detail. Chu Xinrou watched quietly from the side and couldn’t help but ask, “Did you come to the city often before?”
“Yes,” Qiao Xiaoxiao gently held Nuonuo’s restless little hand, her gaze fixed on the familiar street scene outside the window. “I’ve worked here many times. I remember every street and alley.” Her voice was very soft, but it made Chu Xinrou’s heart tremble. She looked at Qiao Xiaoxiao’s profile, and a wave of pity welled up from the bottom of her heart.
“What kind of work did you do?”
If it were in the past, Chu Xinrou would never have asked this question. But now, the carefully maintained distance had long since been melted by their sincere friendship, allowing her to touch upon Qiao Xiaoxiao’s past with ease.
“Too many,” a trace of reminiscence flashed in Qiao Xiaoxiao’s eyes, her fingers unconsciously stroking the corner of Nuonuo’s clothes. “A few days ago, I was scrolling through videos and saw a lot of clips of short-term jobs—I’ve done all of them.”
She paused, her voice so soft it was as if she were telling someone else’s story. “Washing dishes in the back of a hotel, at a coffee shop, a fast-food restaurant…”
Chu Xinrou knew that Qiao Xiaoxiao was definitely picking the light and easy things to tell her. In the summer, when she wore short sleeves, Chu Xinrou had seen the scars from oil burns on her arm.
Qiao Xiaoxiao’s mind was filled with images of the past. Her stall had been overturned by a drunkard at the night market, she had gotten frostbite on her fingers from handing out flyers in the dead of winter, she had moved bricks at a construction site. At her most miserable, she had worked as a cleaner in an office building during the day and had to work the night shift at a 24-hour convenience store at night.
Seeing the doubt in her sister’s eyes, Qiao Xiaoxiao smiled. “The hardest was working at the seafood market.” Qiao Xiaoxiao gently squeezed Nuonuo’s little hand. “I had to get up at three in the morning every day to move goods. The fishy smell would seep into my skin, and I couldn’t wash it off no matter how hard I tried.” As she spoke, she suddenly laughed. “But there were good things too. An auntie who sold vegetables would always secretly give me hot buns.”
Outside the car window, the city’s neon lights lit up one by one. The darkness she had once walked through alone had now turned into a light and easy memory.
Chu Xinrou suddenly reached out and covered the back of Qiao Xiaoxiao’s hand. Her hand was very warm, as if to make up for all the warmth that had been missing all these years, bit by bit.
Qiao Xiaoxiao subconsciously squeezed Chu Xinrou’s hand back. The words “it’s okay” were not yet out of her mouth when she suddenly felt a soft touch on her chin. She looked down and met Nuonuo’s tear-filled eyes. The little one had turned around at some point and was clutching her collar tightly.
The past events that her sister had never mentioned were now causing a storm in Nuonuo’s little heart. In her memory, her sister would always get up before dawn, her small figure busy by the stove, feeding the chickens and ducks before rushing off to school. When she came back in the evening, she would often be so tired she couldn’t even eat, but she would still force herself to tell her stories.
Nuonuo suddenly wrapped her arms tightly around Qiao Xiaoxiao’s neck and buried her little face in her collarbone. The warm tears slid down Qiao Xiaoxiao’s collarbone, making her heart tremble.
Qiao Xiaoxiao hugged Nuonuo tightly and gently kissed her forehead.
It’s okay, it’s all in the past. We sisters will get better and better.
When they arrived in the city, it was Ah Sen who personally picked them up. The Second Miss was worried about her sister and had asked him to stay for a few more days.
Qiao Xiaoxiao looked at the Maybach in front of her and pressed her lips together. Chu Xinrou knew what she was thinking and said softly, “It’s okay. Let’s go. We need to get to the hospital.”
Ah Sen respectfully opened the car door, his gaze pausing for a moment when he saw Qiao Xiaoxiao. The faint smell of leather in the car, mixed with the warm air, slightly eased the tense atmosphere. Nuonuo looked around curiously, her small hand unconsciously clutching her sister’s shirt.
On this day, little Nuonuo experienced many firsts in her life—the first time she left the small village where she had lived, the first time she saw the prosperity of the city, the first time she sat in a moving iron box, and the first time she stepped into this palace-like private hospital.
The hospital was one that Chu Xinrou had contacted in advance. She was not vague about Nuonuo’s matter and didn’t give Xiaoxiao any room to speak.
The hospital environment was very good. In the high-ceilinged lobby paved with marble, the crystal chandelier reflected a brilliant light. A receptionist in uniform greeted them with a smile, and a soft piano melody flowed in the faint scent of cedar. On both sides of the corridor were floor-to-ceiling windows, and the sunlight cast dappled shadows on the floor through the blinds.
When the nurse approached with a syringe, Nuonuo shrank into her sister’s arms. The precise instruments embedded in the light blue walls let out a soft hum. She was both scared and curious. By the time all the examinations were done and she was carried out, Qiao Xiaoxiao found that the little person in her arms was cold, and her own heart was already in a mess.
The barefoot doctor in the village had once asserted that Nuonuo’s vocal cords were completely burned and there was no hope of recovery.
Because Nuonuo was young, many of the examination forms had to be signed by Qiao Xiaoxiao. When she signed the third consent form with a trembling hand, a female doctor with gold-rimmed glasses suddenly looked up. “What is your relationship to Chu Xinrou?”
Qiao Xiaoxiao was stunned for a moment. She was in a state of turmoil over her sister’s condition and answered subconsciously, “I… I’m her sister.”
The name “SOPHIA” on the doctor’s name tag glinted in the light. She smiled thoughtfully. “No wonder.” The fountain pen spun in her fingers. “Since high school, I’ve never seen her ask for help.”
Qiao Xiaoxiao was stunned. Sophia didn’t say anything else. “When all the lab reports are out, we’ll have a consultation. Please wait outside for a moment.”
When Qiao Xiaoxiao walked out with Nuonuo, Chu Xinrou had just finished paying. She saw Qiao Xiaoxiao’s abnormality at a glance. “What’s wrong?”
Qiao Xiaoxiao stared at her sister in a daze for a long time, then shook her head. “It’s nothing. I’m just a little worried.”
She knew that her sister must have put in a lot of effort inside, not just in terms of manpower and financial resources… but because she was taking care of her fragile self-esteem, Chu Xinrou never mentioned it.
She owed her sister too much, and she could never repay her in a lifetime.
Chu Xinrou stroked Nuonuo’s hair, then Xiaoxiao’s. “Wait there. Wait for the doctor’s consultation results.”
She had never felt time pass so agonizingly. Qiao Xiaoxiao was practically counting the seconds. Nuonuo sensed it. She raised her little hand and touched her sister’s face, signing.
—Don’t be afraid, sister. If it can’t be cured, it’s okay. I’m already used to it.
Nuonuo really thought so. She felt that she was already very happy. But the more she said this, the more upset Qiao Xiaoxiao became. She hugged her sister tightly.
For five years, the most innocent years of her childhood, her sister had lived in a silent world. How could she bear it, and how could she be reconciled?
Qiao Xiaoxiao, who had already compromised with fate and no longer believed in heaven, prayed devoutly in her heart at this moment.
Please… may the gods show their favor. As long as my sister is well, I’m willing to give anything.
When the door was pushed open and several doctors in white coats walked out, Qiao Xiaoxiao felt her legs suddenly lose their strength. She gripped the armrests of the chair tightly, her knuckles turning white, but she couldn’t muster the strength to stand up.
Chu Xinrou glanced at her, stood up, and walked over. She shook hands with the leading doctors. Qiao Xiaoxiao couldn’t hear what they were saying, only feeling that they seemed to be speaking English. The other party gave Chu Xinrou a form. Chu Xinrou looked at it. The leading Sophia pointed at Nuonuo in Qiao Xiaoxiao’s arms and said something to her. Chu Xinrou looked up at Qiao Xiaoxiao, the corners of her lips lifting into the smile she was most familiar with.
At that moment, Qiao Xiaoxiao’s heart suddenly stopped.
