Chapter 91
—Hello, Sister Xiaoxiao. My name is Wang Nuanyang.
Qiao Xiaoxiao’s heart trembled. She murmured to herself, “Wang Nuanyang.”
She said her name is Wang Nuanyang… she doesn’t know me…
“It’s… a nice name.”
“Yes, it’s because my mother hopes that my life will be full of warm sunshine.”
Every word was like a dull knife cutting her heart. The last bit of self-deceiving hope in Qiao Xiaoxiao’s heart was shattered into dust.
Seeing the big sister’s eyes suddenly turn red, Wang Nuanyang tilted her head and asked in confusion, “Jiejie, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing…”
Qiao Xiaoxiao turned her head, holding back her tears, her voice choked. “Come, I’ll teach you how to shoot.”
Her hand, which was holding the basketball, was already trembling.
…
Wang Nuanyang had never had so much fun. She and this big sister, whom she had only known for a few hours, had practiced basketball until they were covered in sweat. She had a natural liking for this stranger sister, and her heart unconsciously felt very close to her.
And this sister was very gentle. She was very patient when she spoke to her. She had taught her to practice basketball until she was covered in sweat, and even her face was covered in sweat, some of which slid down the corners of her eyes.
After playing basketball, Wang Nuanyang was exceptionally excited. “Jiejie, I’ll treat you to Starbucks.”
Qiao Xiaoxiao nodded and went to Starbucks with her. It was dinner time, and Starbucks was a little crowded. As the two of them were sitting in their chairs, waiting for their number to be called, Wang Nuanyang received a call from Wang Su. “Hello?”
“Baby, why aren’t you home yet?”
Wang Nuanyang frowned. “You’re not home either. I’m out playing with a friend.”
Wang Su was still worried and wanted to persuade her to go back early. Wang Nuanyang was very impatient. “I’m so grown up now. Don’t watch me everywhere. Can’t I play with a friend? I’ll be on time for piano class tomorrow.”
After hanging up the phone, Wang Nuanyang saw Xiaoxiao staring at her in a daze. She said embarrassedly, “My mom is always like this. She wishes she could contact me twenty-four hours a day.”
Hearing this, Qiao Xiaoxiao nodded. She looked at the ticket in her hand and said softly, “She loves you very much.”
Love?
Wang Nuanyang never denied this.
She had never had a father since she was a child. Every time she saw a classmate being held high by their father, or being held by that broad hand as they crossed the road, she would subconsciously clutch her schoolbag strap. She thought that her mother must have wanted to use double the love to fill that forever-empty position.
Wang Nuanyang had asked Wang Su about her father. Every time, her mother’s face would be ashen, and she would say coldly, “He’s dead. He’s been dead for a long time.”
Every time she said this, Wang Su would be silent for a long time, standing by the window alone, staring at the mountains outside in a daze.
Sometimes, Wang Nuanyang would even see her suddenly burst into tears.
Slowly, she didn’t dare to ask anymore.
In Wang Nuanyang’s memory, her childhood was a constant stream of packed cardboard boxes and forever-unfamiliar ceilings. They had moved so many times that she had long since forgotten the names of those cities. Her mother, Wang Su, was always tense, as if she were being chased by something invisible. It wasn’t until that small design company had established itself in Beijing that the drifting paper boat had finally docked.
A childhood without fixed playmates was like a faded puzzle. In the most difficult years, she had been fostered in different neighbors’ homes. In those strange living rooms, she had learned to curl up in a corner of the sofa and read herself into a silent book. Later, when their circumstances improved, various daycare and tutoring centers became her second home. Now, in the spacious apartment, the wrinkles on the nanny, Auntie Zhang’s, face were more familiar to her than her mother’s.
Wang Nuanyang knew that there was an introverted child living in her bones. But strangely, in the face of this sister she had just met, the words that had been suppressed for a long time had suddenly found an outlet, gushing out happily like a stream in spring.
When they had moved to the arcade on the third floor, Wang Nuanyang had been surprised to find that the sister, who was so at ease on the basketball court, was at a loss in front of the dance machine.
“You must be in university, right?” She was putting a game coin into the slot, a cunning curve on her lips. “Do all university students play mobile games and look down on this kind of old-fashioned thing?”
Qiao Xiaoxiao stared at the flashing 3D valley on the screen, her fingers stiffly suspended above the buttons. “I… didn’t have much of a chance to play these when I was a child.”
Wang Nuanyang’s finger, which was about to press the start button, suddenly paused. She turned her head, her eyes full of innocence. “Why? Did your uncle and aunt force you to go to tutoring classes?”
Qiao Xiaoxiao’s head drooped slightly. The sensitive Wang Nuanyang sensed that she might have touched on something her sister was unwilling to talk about. She quickly changed the subject. “Jiejie, do you have an older or younger sister?”
Qiao Xiaoxiao nodded gently, stared at Wang Nuanyang, and said slowly, “I have a younger sister. She’s very cute.”
Wang Nuanyang didn’t think much of it and just sighed with emotion. “That’s so nice. I’m so envious. It’s better to be together. I always feel that it’s boring to be alone.”
Qiao Xiaoxiao’s lips were pressed into a pale line, her nails digging deep into her palms. That heart, which was full of a thousand holes, was silently bleeding in her chest.
“But…” after Wang Nuanyang had successfully killed the monster, she leaned closer to Qiao Xiaoxiao and said with a smile, “when I was little, I always felt that I once had an older sister.”
This sentence was like an ice pick, instantly nailing Qiao Xiaoxiao to the spot. Her blood seemed to have frozen, and even her fingertips had lost their feeling. She stared at Wang Nuanyang in a daze.
The little Nuanyang had a serious look on her face. “It’s just that I always feel that there’s an afterimage in my memory, of being held by an older sister. I’ve even asked my mother many times.”
Qiao Xiaoxiao held her breath.
Wang Nuanyang smiled and shook her head. “My mother always says that I’m too tired from studying and am hallucinating. Jiejie, look, we look so much alike. It would be so nice if we were real sisters.”
…
The sound of the rain outside the window gradually became denser, and the raindrops hit the glass dome of the mall, like countless fine fingertips tapping.
Qiao Xiaoxiao looked at her watch and knew that if Wang Nuanyang didn’t go back soon, Wang Su would be worried. “You should go back.”
Wang Nuanyang looked at her reluctantly. “Jiejie, will you come back tomorrow?”
Qiao Xiaoxiao looked at the eyes that were exactly the same as hers and nodded gently.
Wang Nuanyang showed a happy smile and only then agreed to go. Before she left, she called the nanny and asked her to bring two umbrellas.
The nanny came quickly. Wang Nuanyang trotted to the entrance of the mall. When she took the two umbrellas, the rain had already formed a fine stream on the ground. When she turned around, she was still thinking, will Sister Xiaoxiao like this umbrella with the sunflower print?
But when she returned to the original spot, that spot was already empty. The umbrella slipped from her hand and fell with a soft smack. Wang Nuanyang stood there, looking at the empty game machine seat, her heart full of disappointment.
She didn’t sleep all night.
Qiao Xiaoxiao counted the raindrops one by one and looked out the dark window for a long time. She held out her arms and gently hugged herself.
The next day, Wang Nuanyang went to the mall very early. She looked around anxiously. The moment she saw Qiao Xiaoxiao, a brilliant smile bloomed on her face.
First time, a stranger. Second time, familiar.
This time, the little Nuanyang had even more to say. She chatted with her sister about the things she liked, about the past, and about the future.
“Actually, I don’t really like Beijing.”
“There are too many people here. I always feel like I can’t breathe when I’m walking on the street.”
“I moved many times when I was a child. The alleys in Suzhou would have the scent of osmanthus, and the teahouses in Chengdu would have the sound of the storyteller’s gavel. The morning tea shops in Guangzhou would be steaming before dawn. They all made me feel more at home than here.”
Qiao Xiaoxiao’s fingertips unconsciously stroked the rim of the coffee cup, leaving a blurry fingerprint on the side of the cup.
“It was so good back then. I had so much time to arrange for myself. It’s not like now, where I’m stuffed into all sorts of summer camps during the winter and summer holidays. It’s so boring.” Wang Nuanyang thought for a moment. “But last year, the penguins I saw in Hokkaido were so chubby and cute, waddling in the snow.”
Qiao Xiaoxiao would often listen to her words and would get lost in thought.
Wang Nuanyang would wave her little hand in front of her and ask, biting a popsicle, “Jiejie, what about you?”
This sudden question made Qiao Xiaoxiao’s breath hitch slightly. She lowered her eyes and looked at the blurry silhouette of herself in the reflection of the swaying coffee in the cup.
“Me…”
Her voice was as light as a falling leaf. “When I was a child…” Qiao Xiaoxiao’s fingers, which were stroking the rim of the cup, unconsciously tightened. “My family’s conditions were not good. I couldn’t get enough to eat.”
The sunlight slanted through the glass, casting a small shadow under her lowered eyelashes.
“I’ve collected scraps,” Qiao Xiaoxiao said softly. “Every kind of can has a different price.” Her fingertips gently gestured on the table. “Soda cans are the most valuable, fifteen cents each. Tin cans are second, and you have to collect ten jin to exchange for money. The least valuable are glass bottles.”
Wang Nuanyang listened with great interest. She would not laugh at or look down on her sister for being poor as a child. Instead, she felt that Sister Xiaoxiao was so amazing. This was a world she had never touched, and she was very curious.
“Working in the back of a restaurant was the most tiring. Not only did I have to wash greasy plates, but sometimes, drunk customers would run to the back to cause trouble…”
Qiao Xiaoxiao rolled up her sleeve and showed Nuanyang the scar on her upper arm. “This was cut by a drunkard with a broken bowl. He grabbed my hair and slammed me against the wall, and the fragments just stuck in.”
Hearing this, Wang Nuanyang’s breathing stopped. She asked nervously, “Sister Xiaoxiao, did you tell your parents later? Did you call the police?”
Qiao Xiaoxiao’s gaze dimmed. “I… my father passed away… my mother—” her Adam’s apple bobbed, “she… abandoned me.”
The blood in her memory had flowed down her arm, soaking the sleeve of her cheap T-shirt. When the restaurant owner had counted out a few crumpled bills and had stuffed them into her hand, the edges of the bills were stained with a dark red. The smell of disinfectant in the small clinic had made her eyes sore. The bandage was wrapped carelessly. When she had gotten home, Huang Sulan had ignored her and had thrown a large pile of dirty clothes at her. When Qiao Xiaoxiao was washing the clothes, the wound had opened again, and the water, mixed with laundry detergent, had turned a faint pink.
Wang Nuanyang was indignant. “Why did your mother abandon you?”
Such a good child…
“Maybe it was just my fate.”
Qiao Xiaoxiao didn’t say any more. She looked at Wang Nuanyang. “You’re so happy. Your sister is both envious and happy for you.”
These words were out of the blue. Wang Nuanyang was a little stunned. She tilted her head and looked at Qiao Xiaoxiao. Qiao Xiaoxiao met her eyes. “Nuanyang, I’m leaving tomorrow. You remember to study hard and be filial to… your mother.”
Hearing this, Wang Nuanyang was full of reluctance. “Jiejie, give me your phone number. We can keep in touch. In the future, if you have time, can you come and play with me again?”
She just liked Qiao Xiaoxiao, for no reason.
Qiao Xiaoxiao smiled and shook her head. “No.”
Looking at the little girl who she had held in her arms and coaxed since she was born, who she had depended on for three years, and who was now living so happily, she should be happy for her.
She should stay far away and not disturb her. That was the best choice.
Wang Nuanyang was a child after all. When her sister didn’t give her her phone number, her pride was shattered, and tears welled up in her eyes. She pressed her lips together and didn’t speak, her mood suddenly sinking.
It was time to part.
There were quite a few cars at the intersection.
Qiao Xiaoxiao held her hand, wanting to send Nuanyang over and then leave. But just as the two of them were waiting for the red light, she saw Wang Su on the other side of the road, her eyes wide as she looked at them.
Wang Su had come home early today. She was carrying two large bags and was walking home in a hurry, eager to see her daughter. One bag was a Lego toy she had bought for Nuanyang, and the other was her daughter’s favorite snacks. She stood opposite the red light, looking at Qiao Xiaoxiao and Wang Nuanyang in disbelief.
“Jiejie, my mom is here!”
Wang Nuanyang also saw Wang Su and pointed with her finger. Just then, the green light came on, and she pulled Qiao Xiaoxiao and quickly walked over.
A family of three.
They were reunited just like that.
Qiao Xiaoxiao’s childhood was a series of repeated dreams in a pile of straw in a cowshed.
In every dream, the wooden door would creak open. Her mother would be standing against the light, holding her younger sister, her body carrying a familiar scent of mint. “Xiaoxiao—” Wang Su would open her arms, tears streaming down her face. “Mommy is here to pick you up.”
Little Xiaoxiao would always fumble to pack her pitifully few belongings—a worn-out red scarf, half a pencil, and a hard, dried cornbread.
Her fingers would tremble with excitement, but every time she had tied the last knot of her bundle and had looked up, all she would see was her mother’s back as she walked away with her younger sister.
“Mommy!”
She would always trip over the threshold when she chased after them, her knees hitting the gravel road. Blood would seep out and mix with her tears, falling into the dirt. But no matter how she cried and shouted, how she crawled forward, that back would never turn around.
…
This time, reality was better than a dream.
At the very least, her mother and sister had not turned their backs on her.
Qiao Xiaoxiao was led by Wang Nuanyang to Wang Su. There was not a trace of joy on Wang Su’s face, only panic in her eyes.
In the ten years since her mother had left.
Qiao Xiaoxiao had tasted all the flavors of the world. It could be said that she had grown up looking at other people’s expressions and faces.
How could she not understand why Wang Su was so flustered at this moment?
She had never told her younger sister of her existence.
She had never thought of truly finding her.
Herself… along with that dark memory, Wang Su had wiped it all away.
To Nuanyang, Wang Su was not the mother who had abandoned her, but the good mother who had given her all her love and had endured all the family’s burdens without a single flaw.
And Wang Nuanyang would never know about her older sister, who might have already died in Wuliu Village.
Qiao Xiaoxiao smiled faintly, her eyes red. She looked at Wang Su and said, “Auntie, hello. I’m Nuanyang’s new friend. I was just about to send her across the road. You’ve come at the right time. I should… go home too.”
