Chapter 21: Contempt
The girl was still dressed in her usual clean and neat attire: a light blue shirt, slightly faded jeans, and white sneakers that looked new. Standing in the cold, white corridor of the hospital, she didn’t look out of place at all.
But Su Yu knew of the girl’s private allure. It was as if a painter had left a few strokes of bright red on a clean white sheet of paper, outlining the delicate softness of a bouquet of flowers. If you sniffed it lightly, you could smell a rich and intoxicating fragrance.
“You’re here…”
Su Yu went up the stairs by the room number and happened to bump into Xia Qiange at the corner of the corridor. The other party waved at him, her eyes and eyebrows filled with the gentleness he was familiar with.
“Yeah… I took a car.”
Xia Qiange tucked the hair that was falling on her shoulders behind her ear, revealing her fair and pink earlobes. She curved her eyebrows and smiled. “I see. An Zhi is inside. She’s probably not in a good mood. You should be a little more patient with her. Don’t argue.”
“Okay, I know.”
The two of them drew closer, and the girl’s gardenia fragrance drifted across his face, stirring his sense of smell. He had just woken from an absurd, strange dream, and the plain, ordinary reality actually felt more real.
Su Yu put his hand on the doorknob and then turned to look at Xia Qiange. “Um, about what you said on the phone just now, I actually didn’t plan to…”
“Alright, go and talk to An Zhi first. We can talk about our things later. I’ll be outside.” Xia Qiange interrupted him and laughed twice, joking, “I’m not going to run away. And I really have something to talk to you about.”
“Alright then. We can talk later.”
Su Yu hadn’t found the right words yet. So he pressed down on the handle in his palm. The hospital room was without the pungent smell of disinfectant from outside. The air was filled with a soothing and fresh fruit fragrance. He met the girl’s gaze at a glance. The curtains were parted by the wind, and the light suddenly shone in, flashing in front of his eyes. The girl looked away.
“Long time no see.”
“Yeah, long time no see.”
It had only been five days since they had lost contact, but Su Yu felt as if a century had passed. Everything had started to become strange. When did An Zhi become so silent… he couldn’t figure it out. The only thing that hadn’t changed seemed to be Xia Qiange, who was waiting outside the hospital room at this moment. He suddenly realized this cruel reality.
He sat on the chair by the bed and tried to find the lost familiarity bit by bit. He forced a smile and teased the girl as he had before. “Why do you have a fever? Didn’t someone say she was very good at taking care of herself? I’ve only been away for five days, and you’re already in the hospital.”
But it seemed that he had been isolated from the world for too long, and his words were not in sync with the times. An Zhi did not smile, nor did she frown and glare at him as she had before. Instead, she grabbed his wrist.
The girl’s hand was very cold, almost without any warmth, like a piece of ice that had melted into water, seeping into his blood through his pores. His whole body froze. He thought he had returned to reality… but he was still afraid of such a sudden and slightly intimate gesture.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been cold to you during the play. I just… couldn’t figure some things out. I was in a bad mood. I watched the play… it was very exciting.”
An Zhi’s voice was a little hoarse, and she had lost the clear and sweet moisture of the past, which made Su Yu very unaccustomed.
“Just… just because of this? When did you think I was so petty?”
Su Yu regained his strength and calmly pulled his hand away, trying to find something to distract himself. “I’ll peel an apple for you.”
“Hey, where’s the fruit knife?”
He lifted the fruit basket on the table and looked at the bottom, but he still couldn’t find the fruit knife.
An Zhi lowered her head and didn’t speak. The half-bitten apple was lying in the trash can. She really had no appetite. The apple was only sweet on the first bite, and the rest was like chewing wax.
She really couldn’t say it. It would be great if she didn’t have to worry about shyness, worry, and other emotions. The boy had pulled his hand out of her palm, as if he had ruthlessly deprived her of all her courage.
An Zhi suddenly remembered what her sister had said to her, the methods that could easily win the boy’s attention.
She was as if she were in a deep and boundless sea, and the seductive and charming songs of the sirens were in her ears, luring her to hit a reef and die. In a daze, her fingertips accidentally touched the hard and sharp object in her pocket, and her flesh was pricked with pain.
“I’m sorry, I have to take a call.”
In the silence, the phone in Su Yu’s pocket vibrated. He took out his phone and saw the four big words “Auntie Fang Yan.” His heart pounded a few times, as if he had not escaped far and had been dragged back into his dream by a big hand.
“Hello? Is there something you need, Auntie Fang Yan?” Su Yu stood up and walked to the window of the room, answering the phone.
“Su Yu, where have you been these past few days? I called you the day before yesterday and yesterday, but you didn’t answer.”
“I… I’ve been a little busy recently. I have to get some documents, so I’ve been running around. I probably saw it and forgot to call back. I’m sorry for making you worry.”
Su Yu lifted a corner of the curtain. The sunlight was filtered by the clouds and became white, cold, and soft. He thought for a moment, but he didn’t tell the truth. He didn’t know how to say it.
“Forgot?” Fang Yan repeated with suspicion. She continued to ask, “Xiao Yu, tell me honestly, did something happen? Is it related to Su Xi…”
“What are you talking about, Auntie? This… what does this have to do with Su Xi?”
“I’m not young anymore, but I’m not stupid. That girl actually called me a few days ago. She wanted to get a cat and said she didn’t have enough money. I transferred her some money, and she didn’t block me again.”
Fang Yan’s speech was very fast. Even over the phone, he could feel her eagerness to fly to Qingchuan immediately.
“The way that child spoke… that was the first time she had spoken to me without a thorn since she was in high school. That’s my child. I can feel it. She’s very happy. Of course I don’t want to miss this opportunity. But that child hasn’t answered my calls since the day before yesterday. It’s right on her birthday. Tell me honestly, is there something going on between you two?”
“I…”
Su Yu hadn’t expected Fang Yan to be able to connect so many things. He suddenly remembered Su Xi, when he was pressing her down, her eyes upturned with a charming arc, and she was saying those wanton and lewd words to him. But he couldn’t tell if it was just angry words or if the girl really hated him that much.
“Let me be honest with you, Auntie. Su Xi’s father actually died a long time ago, from alcohol poisoning. That child has had serious suicidal tendencies since then. She stole my dagger and hid it, thinking I didn’t know. I was afraid of provoking her, so I never dared to say it. That’s why I wanted you to watch her. I lied to you… I’m sorry.”
“Su Xi is fine. How could anything happen to her? I just celebrated her birthday with her yesterday. She’s very happy. You must be overthinking it, Auntie.”
Su Yu forced a laugh from his dry throat, but he couldn’t help but think of the notebook he had found on the bookshelf when he had first gone to Su Xi’s house. It had the girl’s final wish written in it. But the girl had smiled and torn it up in front of him, saying it was just a joke, that she was just writing for fun.
Was she really just writing for fun? he asked himself.
Suicide. These two words were like a huge reef covered with a thick cloth, hidden in the girl’s sweet smile. Once this cloth was lifted, after being mercilessly eroded by the bitter and salty waves all day, only a thousand-hole, rotten hole would be left.
“Alright then. I believe you, Auntie. Can you take a picture for me like last time?”
“No problem. I’ll have time these few days. I’ll definitely find Su Xi and take a picture for you.”
Su Yu comforted her a few more times. Although Fang Yan was still skeptical, she couldn’t just fly to Qingchuan right away. Knowing that Su Xi was fine, she could only put her mind at ease and reluctantly hung up the phone.
Eighteenth birthday.
A few words were carved in Su Yu’s heart. He held his phone tightly, and unease quickly filled his heart.
“An Zhi, I still have something to do. I’ll come and see you tomorrow. I’m sorry.”
“Are you leaving? But I still…”
An Zhi, seeing that the boy was about to leave, was stunned for a moment and immediately struggled to get up from the bed. But the boy had already walked out of the hospital room, and the door had not even had time to be closed. The door hinge was gently swaying. She didn’t even have her shoes on and chased after him barefoot on the cold floor.
She suddenly began to be afraid that what her sister had said had become a reality. If she didn’t hurry… the boy would become a wind that she couldn’t hold on to and would completely disappear from her world. This was a vicious curse. The spell was hidden in a gentle comfort. She had been cursed without her knowledge, and she only felt the pain of ants drilling into her heart when it took effect.
But she couldn’t be like what her sister had said, pretending to be pitiful to get the boy’s attention. Things that were obtained by lies were even more illusory than fragile bubbles.
Those dark and evil things… she didn’t want to touch them.
An Zhi chased out of the hospital room, but she accidentally fell not far from the door. She watched as the boy disappeared at the end of the corridor. Under her thin hospital gown, her pink knees were bruised and purple from hitting the tiles. The sourness that filled her heart deprived her of the sense of pain. She struggled to get up, and a few crystal-clear, hot tears overflowed from her eyes, dripping onto the cold floor, creating a small puddle of water.
She raised her neck, her expression dejected and pathetic. The pair of clean and new white shoes suddenly appeared in her field of vision. Her sister was looking down at her with a blank expression. From the upward angle, the curve of the other party’s eyes was filled with contempt, as if… she were a little disappointed.
Xia Qiange casually kicked away the fruit knife that had fallen out of An Zhi’s pocket. She suddenly felt a little bored. The girl’s performance was just an optional embellishment. Having such a scene was just her own evil taste at work.
She was simply dissatisfied that the plan had been unexpectedly changed. The phone call she had just received had really made her upset.
She turned and left, not caring about the girl who was struggling on the ground and couldn’t get up. She chased after the boy in the direction he had left.
