Chapter 20: Illusion
The phone was almost full of messages. Su Xi’s perfunctory replies had stopped on the third day. He had been out of contact for two whole days. The scrolling messages were blurry and indistinct. His body, which was still under the effect of the drug, was a little weak. Su Yu squatted in the corridor, his somewhat long hair messy.
His fingertip, which was scrolling the screen, suddenly stopped. He saw Xia Qiange’s message…
“If you have time, give me a call back. I want to talk to you about something.”
The message was sent the day before yesterday. Su Xi had only briefly replied to the other party, brushing the matter aside.
Su Yu let out a turbid breath. His fingertips trembled as he dialed the other party’s number. His heart seemed to have taken away the only remaining strength in his body, and it was pounding violently in his chest. He silently waited for the call to be connected. The phone’s ringtone echoed in the empty corridor, and the sweat on his palm quickly wet the screen.
The simple and soothing melody only rang for a moment, and then a gentle female voice came from the receiver.
“Hello? Is that Su Yu?”
“Yeah… yeah, it’s me. You… you wanted to talk to me about something?”
“…”
There was a few seconds of silence on the receiver. His Adam’s apple rolled up and down, and his heartbeat became chaotic in the silence. The corners of his phone were pricking his palm.
“It’s about what happened at the play that day. I think it’s better to make it clear. Su Yu has always been very good to me… so good that I sometimes feel that we are not like friends. So I wanted to ask you. But after you ran away that day, I started to think… did I misunderstand?”
The girl’s voice on the other end of the phone was calm and gentle, as if she had really carefully considered the matter between them. Her soothing tone was not overly forceful, nor was it deliberately sweet, as if she were trying to deceive him.
“But no matter what, I just think that our relationship should wait a little longer. I’m sorry… I’m not completely ready yet. If you’re serious, then please give me some time to think about it. In short… I’ll give you an answer.”
Su Yu finally swallowed the saliva that was stuck in his throat. He suddenly felt at ease. After being burned by the hot flames, he actually felt that this plain and watery relationship was real, as if something had pulled him up with a thin thread.
If he had heard the girl say such things to him in the past, he would probably have been sad for a long time. But now… he was grateful to the other party for waking him up from his nightmare, and he really felt that this rebirth was not just a joke.
“Okay, I know.”
Su Yu agreed. He patted the dust off his body and stood up from the stairs. He walked out of the dark corridor, and a bright but not dazzling white light shone down. The air was no longer thick and stuffy. He let out a long sigh of relief.
“There’s one more thing I might have to trouble you with.” Xia Qiange suddenly said.
“What is it?”
“An Zhi is sick. She hasn’t been in a good mood these past few days. Maybe she’s feeling guilty about getting angry with you for no reason. If you have time… can you come and see her?”
…
Xia Qiange listened to the phone being hung up. The deserted corridor of the hospital was filled with the smell of disinfectant. She stood by the window and casually smoothed her hair, which had been blown by the wind. A faint reflection was on the clear and transparent glass. She looked at the pale and gloomy girl on the glass, and a faint smile slowly appeared on her lips.
It seems the fake… has been exposed.
She carried the apples she had just bought from the fruit shop downstairs and turned to go back to the hospital room. She pushed open the door, and An Zhi was sitting on the hospital bed, staring out the window in a daze. The girl’s face was without its usual cheerful smile. The hospital gown was loose on her, making her face look a little pale.
“Xiaozhi, are you feeling better?”
An Zhi looked up, her dark eyes brightening, her lips slightly parted. “It’s nothing. I’m much better. It’s just a fever.”
“Then… have some hot water.”
“Thank you.”
Xia Qiange sat down by the bed and picked a rosy apple from the flower basket. She peeled the apple with a fruit knife she had brought with her. The bright red peel came off in a continuous circle, revealing the white and sweet flesh.
“I have some good news for you.”
“What? What good news?” An Zhi held the water cup and licked the warm water, which was just the right temperature. The moisture moistened her chapped and pale lips, and a faint pink appeared. She finally looked a little more energetic.
“Su Yu will be here later.”
“Su… Su Yu?” An Zhi’s heart skipped a beat. She put the water cup on the table, her tone suddenly becoming rushed. “Didn’t he go back to his hometown?”
“He should be back by now. He seems to have been quite busy these past few days.”
Xia Qiange frowned and thought for a moment, then answered with a smile.
“Then I… I…”
The impulse that was about to jump to her throat suddenly lost its strength and fell heavily. The courage that had been accumulating for so long seemed to be not enough. But the other party was already coming… on the way.
“What’s wrong?” Xia Qiange’s eyes curved, and she gently soothed the girl’s suddenly restless emotions. “If you’re not brave enough, you can wait. There’s no need…”
“I just want to ask him what he thinks. Do you think he and I have a chance, sister? Even just a little.”
“This…” Xia Qiange looked down and finished peeling the apple. The apple peel fell into the trash can in a continuous circle. She smiled noncommittally. “Who knows? But a pitiful little girl will always be pitied by someone. I think he won’t say anything harsh since you’re sick.”
“The things you told me these past few days, sister… I can’t do them. I don’t want to lie and pretend to be pitiful.”
An Zhi paused for a few seconds and hesitated, but she still shook her head, unwilling to use lies to get something that didn’t belong to her.
“I was just saying. After all, Su Yu is a nice person. I’m afraid that when he’s with another girl in the future… you’ll be too sad to see it, Xiaozhi.”
“But don’t hesitate too much. Forget it… it’s your own business. I won’t say any more. Here…”
Xia Qiange looked up and handed the peeled apple over, her lips slightly upturned, as if she had completely separated herself from the gentle and persuasive words she had just said, as if they had not come from her mouth at all.
An Zhi took the apple in a daze and didn’t say anything… she took a small bite. The juicy flesh fell into her mouth, and the sweet and fragrant juice was squeezed out by her teeth. Her long-numb taste buds woke up. She lingered on this sweet and sour taste, but she didn’t have the courage to break through the barrier.
Pretending to be pitiful to get the boy’s attention, but to what extent did she have to do it? She was afraid… afraid that she would not be able to distinguish the boundary and would not be able to find her way back…
“Su Yu is almost here. I’ll go down and pick him up. If you still don’t have the courage, Xiaozhi, you can pretend that nothing has happened. It’s okay.”
“But it’s never wrong to dress up nicely.” Xia Qiange looked at her phone and slowly stood up. She smiled and smoothed the messy hair on the girl’s forehead. “I’ll be going now.”
She left the hospital room under An Zhi’s gaze. The fruit knife was not put back in its sheath. It lay on the table, gleaming. A few drops of sweet and sour juice slid down the sharp blade, shining with a silvery, dazzling light.
