Chapter 135: Repression
“Excuse me.”
Su Yu gently pushed open the door. The moment he stepped into the entryway, he subconsciously reached for the light switch on the wall, but then he realized that the villa was brightly lit. The ornate crystal chandelier hanging from the living room ceiling swayed gently, its light dazzling, casting a dark shadow on the soft carpet at the entrance.
This was his third time at Gu Zhi’s home. The first glance at this villa always made one overlook its luxurious and dazzling decoration, and instead pay more attention to the neat and orderly layout, which was elegant and exquisite without losing its comfort. It had been a long time, but it was no different from when he first came. It was just that the exquisite black marble floor made the villa seem even more deserted, cold and without a trace of human life.
“Xiao Yu, just find a place to sit. Dinner will be a little late.”
Gu Zhi unbuttoned her coat and walked to the sofa. She took off her light, crimson high-necked windbreaker, her long neck shining with a soft luster under the warm light. She smiled, her voice full of a bit of excitement.
“Yeah, I know.”
Su Yu was still a little reserved. He called Gu Zhi “sister,” but the two of them were like people from two different worlds. The other party was born at a destination that many people could not reach in their entire lives. Perhaps it was a matter of ecstatic joy to have a relationship with someone like Gu Zhi, but it was inevitable that there would be some resentment. Although Gu Zhi would definitely not think so, he didn’t want to make things difficult for her. Just as Gu Chuan often said, being born in the high and mighty Gu family… was not necessarily a good thing.
He twitched his nose and smelled the overflowing fragrance of osmanthus in the living room. He was suddenly surprised and turned to look at Gu Zhi. “Did you make osmanthus paste, sister?”
“Haha, you have a good nose. It seems you still remember.” Gu Zhi covered her mouth and chuckled. She walked slowly to the kitchen. “I’ll go and see. It should be almost ready.”
Su Yu was inexplicably touched. After his rebirth, he had experienced too many things he had never experienced before. But only these familiar, old things that had been lost in the long river of time, like the annual rings carved in the heart of a tree, circle after circle, even if only a little bit of the pattern was revealed, could easily stir the quiet strings of his heart, and he could not forget them for a long time.
At that time, Gu Zhi didn’t know how to make osmanthus paste. It was just that at that time, there was a four-season osmanthus tree in the garden behind the infirmary. It was in full bloom, and with a slight twitch of his nose, he could smell the fragrant scent. He and Gu Zhi had picked the petals together, then put them in a basket to dry in the open air, and then followed the steps in the book to complete it.
Actually, what they made was not authentic. It was called osmanthus paste, but it was actually just a mixture of some osmanthus honey with honey to enhance the fragrance, and then mixed with lotus root starch and rice wine to cook. The first time they made it, they couldn’t control the amount well and added too much honey. The finished product was a bit too sweet and greasy. But Su Yu remembered that taste for a long time, and the osmanthus cake that Gu Zhi had made for him later… too many things had been slowly forgotten, but now they were picked up one by one like a scavenger.
The fragrance at the tip of his nose grew stronger. Su Yu looked up and saw Gu Zhi coming out of the kitchen with a bowl. She was still smiling gently. Time had not left too many traces on her mature and beautiful face.
“Come and try it.”
“Okay, I’m coming.”
Su Yu stirred the thick osmanthus paste in the bowl and took a small sip. The first thing that spread in his mouth was the unique fragrance of osmanthus. The just-right sweetness was mixed with a thick texture, and a bit of surprise bloomed on his taste buds. He looked at the expectant color in Gu Zhi’s eyes and asked, “Did you… specially learn how to make this later, sister?”
“This… it’s a coincidence. A master who taught me how to make desserts taught me by the way. Besides desserts, she also taught me a lot of seasonal health drinks. But the only one I remember clearly is this one.”
Gu Zhi took a bowl and sat opposite Su Yu. She also tasted it a little. Her full red lips pursed the sweetness on the tip of her tongue. She looked down and smiled. “It’s okay. The osmanthus is not fresh this season. Otherwise, it might smell more fragrant. But… I always feel that it’s not as good as the one we made ourselves.”
“Xiao Yu, do you think…” Gu Zhi’s porcelain spoon slowly stirred in the bowl, making a clinking sound. She asked softly, “Can we go back to the way we were before?”
“Hmm? Sister… what do you mean? Are we… not good now?”
Su Yu frowned. He stared at Gu Zhi’s lowered long eyelashes, and a few specks of emotion disappeared into the shadows. The bright light couldn’t penetrate. Just as he couldn’t understand the meaning of Gu Zhi’s words.
“Nothing. It’s easy to think about these messy things when it’s almost the New Year.” Gu Zhi smiled and shook her head, her tone casual. “By the way, since it’s almost the New Year, let’s have dumplings today. I made some yesterday. It’s the cabbage and pork filling that Xiao Yu likes. Boiled? Or…”
“Boiled is fine. It’s convenient.”
Su Yu looked at the evening wind carrying the sunset and parting the curtains. The sky was getting dark, but he couldn’t stay here tonight. He had bought a train ticket for tomorrow morning and would have to spend several hours on the train to get home.
“Alright then, boiled it is.”
Gu Zhi nodded. She swallowed the sticky osmanthus paste between her lips and teeth, the rich osmanthus fragrance lingering at the tip of her nose. She suddenly realized that it seemed that even if the flowers were picked and dried in the sun, they still retained a faint fragrance. Even if they were crushed, industrial methods could still restore their due value.
It was not only the flowers that swayed on the branches that had the opportunity to be beautiful. To destroy and ruin beautiful things, to watch them wither, collapse, and decay… was not a different kind of beauty. It was a fragmented beauty, which also made her obsessed.
…
“Sister?”
“Hmm?” Gu Zhi heard the call in her ear, her vision still blurry, as if it were covered with a layer of mist mixed with water vapor, blurring everything in her field of vision.
“The dumplings are ready…” Su Yu turned on the range hood, and after a moment of whirring, the steam was all drawn away, and his vision returned to clarity.
“Oh, oh, I’m sorry. I was just spacing out.”
Gu Zhi suddenly sensed Su Yu’s presence behind her. She quickly turned off the flame. The beautifully shaped dumplings had all floated to the surface, but the water level had dropped by a whole circle. She had been in a daze for too long.
…
“Here’s the dipping sauce. Is it good?”
“Mm-hmm, your cooking is so good, sister. I’m suddenly a little envious of the person who can marry you in the future.”
Su Yu nodded repeatedly. The dumpling skin was thin, and the texture was soft and chewy. The dipping sauce was very rich. He hadn’t had such delicious dumplings in a long time.
“Envious… of what?”
The smile on Gu Zhi’s face suddenly froze. She had heard such words many times. She could hear the flattery in those words. The praise in front of her was sincere, but it was like a sharp dagger stabbing into her heart, drawing out gushing blood, a raw pain.
“Huh? I said I’m envious of the person who can marry you in the future…”
“I know.” Gu Zhi interrupted Su Yu abruptly. She forced a stiff smile, the long corners of her eyes slightly upturned, and asked again with a cheerful tone.
“Are you going back for the New Year, Xiao Yu? I remember your father doesn’t come home often. If you’re willing, you can stay at my place for the New Year. The fireworks at the annual party in Qingchuan are very beautiful. We can go together…”
“Um… I’m going back this year. He asked me to go back. There’s something urgent to deal with at home.”
“Oh… I see.” Gu Zhi was stunned for a moment and lowered her gaze. She repeated, as if she were unwilling to give up. She had thought she would be rejected, but she hadn’t expected it to be so direct. “I see. Xiao Yu is going back.”
“Then eat quickly. After you’re done, I’ll drive you back.” Gu Zhi suddenly looked up, a smile on her cold and fair face. “It’s good to go back… and see your family.”
…
“I heard from Gu Chuan that your family has a New Year’s banquet. It must be very lively. You won’t be alone.”
Su Yu was putting on his shoes in the entryway and chatting with Gu Zhi.
“Ah… there is a New Year’s banquet. It’s very lively. There are a lot of people.”
Gu Zhi’s body was stiff. She was frozen in the entryway, her heart burning as if it were about to melt into a pool of blood-red water. She was hesitating again, and the indecision made her very annoyed.
She stared at the boy’s lowered, slender neck, the violence in her heart growing and spreading in the darkness.
Choke him… and he’s hers. It’s that simple. This was her usual style… decisive and swift. But the moment it was about to sweep towards the boy, it turned into a gentle breeze and drizzle.
“Then I’ll be going now. I’ll just say Happy New Year now.”
“Yeah, you too, Xiao Yu. Happy New Year.” Gu Zhi’s voice, which was suppressing her desire, was low and magnetic. She glanced at the car keys in her palm. She suddenly changed her mind. Otherwise, she really didn’t know where she would end up driving in the dark.
“I suddenly remembered I have something urgent to do. I might not be able to take you. I’m sorry. Can you go back by yourself, Xiao Yu?”
“It’s okay. I’ll just take a taxi. See you after school starts.” Su Yu stood at the door and said goodbye with a smile, then turned and disappeared into the darkness of the night.
“Goodbye…”
Gu Zhi’s reply was very soft, so soft that it probably didn’t even reach Su Yu’s ear. She really… preferred the flowers that bloomed on the branches. The fresh and tender stems and buds were full of life, swaying in the breeze, their fragrance filling the air, and also bringing a little bit of vitality to her lifeless life.
Her hysterical emotions were peeled away bit by bit, leaving only a sense of desolation. She stood in the desolate winter night. Many houses in the large villa complex had already begun to decorate for the New Year.
The bright red lanterns were particularly eye-catching in the dark night. They carried the mission of welcoming relatives and friends for the New Year. The New Year was a rare time when it would be lively here, but her place was still deserted.
Happy New Year… haha, actually, she still had half a sentence left to say. She didn’t think the New Year was good at all. Instead, what she deeply hated was this so-called day of reunion.
The cold night wind howled ferociously. The thin, high-necked sweater couldn’t block the severe cold of deep winter. Her nose was red from the cold, and her expressionless face was beautiful and indifferent.
After standing for a while, her scattered gaze condensed in the night sky. She turned and walked into the house, and the lock of the door slammed shut, making a crisp sound that echoed in the silent night with the cold wind.
