Chapter 45: Thoughts
“Auntie Jing, how is he?”
Gu Zhi spread her wet and greasy palm and walked anxiously to the woman who had just come out of the room. “How could he suddenly…”
“There are many reasons, but the main one should be acute gastroenteritis caused by a seafood allergy…” Auntie Jing slowly closed the bedroom door and turned around. The fine wrinkles around the corners of her eyes, which had been honed by the years, and her still-charming face looked gentle and soothing. “A long period of low spirits can also cause physical problems. He woke up once in the middle of the night, and I had a chat with him…”
“What did you talk about?”
As if a sensitive nerve had been touched, Gu Zhi suddenly squinted her eyes and stared at the woman with an aggressive look. “I asked you to come and see him, not to meddle in other people’s business. Are you tired of living?”
Auntie Jing still had that calm and gentle look on her face. She silently watched as Gu Zhi tore off the hypocritical skin on her face, revealing her almost-real self.
“We didn’t talk about anything. I won’t meddle in your affairs, and I can’t. I just want to advise you that his mental state is very bad. If this goes on for a long time… he might develop a very serious mental illness.”
“I’ll take good care of him.”
Gu Zhi lowered her light eyes, and her thick and long eyelashes trembled, showing a very restless heart. She was suddenly a little scared, worried that the gentle and handsome young man would become a madman in the eyes of others, just like her.
She suddenly felt that something in the air was starting to rot and spoil. The smell that was spreading made her feel a strong sense of suffocation. Her fingertips brushed over her dry and chapped lips, which were almost colorless, with a pale and dim sense of powerlessness, but it was as if the soft touch of their lips was still lingering.
“His name is Xiao Chan, right? You really like this name.” Auntie Jing saw the deep and dark circles under Gu Zhi’s eyelids. Perhaps she had stayed up all night by the window. But in the depths of her cold eyes, there was still a little bit of gentleness left.
“I saw the marks left by the shackles on his wrists and ankles. And the car accident in his family recently. He’s probably already died once, right? Only then can you imprison him here so openly. Your methods are getting more and more sophisticated. But is this… worth it?”
“Of course it’s worth it. And it has nothing to do with you.”
“Then these few days… does she need someone to take care of her? You probably can’t find a suitable person for a while.”
Gu Zhi walked past Auntie Jing and towards the bedroom. She slowly held the handle and gathered her scattered thoughts.
“Then I’ll have to trouble you for a few days, Auntie Jing. I still have some things to do, and I’ll be done soon. Then it will just be a matter of a word for me to give you a name in the Gu family.”
“No need. I’m old. I don’t have these thoughts anymore.”
“Haha… that’s good too. And about this matter, don’t mention the seafood allergy to him. Just say it’s acute gastroenteritis.”
Auntie Jing looked at Gu Zhi deeply. She could clearly see the crazy fireworks in the girl’s eyes. She sighed silently and turned to leave.
A madman… always lives in his own world, with an almost obsessive thought, like an abstract and twisted oil painting that no one can understand except the madman himself.
But no one can persuade a madman, unless… you crush her world to pieces.
…
He woke up from a nightmare again. The things he had been thinking about day and night could not be escaped even in his dreams. He had woken up repeatedly in the night. Every time he opened his eyes in the dim light of the bedside lamp, a pair of slender and fair hands would gently brush aside the wet and messy hair on his forehead, and a gentle voice would whisper in his ear, asking if he wanted to drink water.
But he was so sleepy that he couldn’t speak. His drowsy vision was filled with a familiar facial contour. Before he could see clearly, his consciousness had sunk into darkness again.
Almost a similar dream. His lies, along with everything in the dream, were shattered. He couldn’t touch the solid ground. He was almost desperately falling into a dark abyss.
Cold sweat soaked his clothes. He had escaped from his dream and returned to reality. He clenched his fists and gasped for air, trying to open the door. The light clicked on.
Su Yu looked up in a daze, his vision blurry for a moment. He squinted his eyes and saw Gu Zhi leaning against the door. The other party was still wearing that bright red and delicate silk nightgown, with very heavy dark circles under her eyelids.
The bright red dress was paired with her porcelain-white and tender skin. But he inexplicably associated it with the sudden and large patches of blood that had bloomed in the middle of the night, dyeing the fabric a bright red. His heart seemed to have suddenly twitched. He grabbed the blanket by his side, and the soft and smooth touch defeated the sudden feeling of weightlessness.
He didn’t know how long Gu Zhi had been watching him in the darkness. Perhaps the shadow that the dream had left on him was too deep. He felt that the woman’s deep and gloomy eyes were chilling at that moment.
“You’re awake? Are you feeling better?”
Su Yu and Gu Zhi looked at each other. The other party quickly walked to his bed and sat down, holding his hand. Her dark brown eyes were filled with an eager concern, which instantly dispelled Su Yu’s worries.
“Much better…”
He pursed his pale lips and smiled, his voice a little weak. His stomach was empty, but the burning and stinging pain of the night was gone.
“Then I’ll get you a glass of water.”
Gu Zhi looked much happier than him. She picked up the kettle on the table and poured him a glass of water. “You scared me to death. Fortunately, Auntie Jing said you’re fine. It’s just acute gastroenteritis. Maybe you haven’t been resting well these past few days.”
“Not resting well?” Su Yu repeated and confirmed again, and he secretly let out a sigh of relief. “Maybe. The air in the basement is too stuffy. I’ve been feeling uneasy all this time.”
“It’s all my fault. We’ll both live upstairs in the future, okay?” The light in her pupils suddenly dimmed, and Gu Zhi’s voice was full of self-blame. She carefully proposed a remedy. “We’ll leave Qingchuan in a while. We’ll go abroad to see. Okay?”
“Huh?” Su Yu pretended to be stunned. His fingers, which were hidden under the blanket, were clenched into a fist. It was as if something were chasing him from behind. He could only run with all his might, without a moment’s respite.
“Doesn’t Xiao Chan want to?”
“I… yeah, I’m willing. I’ll listen to you.”
Su Yu smiled and nodded. His palm, which was holding the water cup, was pressed against his lips. He raised his head and took a few large gulps, then slowly put the glass back on the table. The remaining water marks on the glass formed a broken circle of light.
“Good… so good. That’s really great. I knew it. Everything will be fine.”
Gu Zhi suddenly leaned over and hugged Su Yu’s neck. She blushed and snuggled in his arms, shyly. She drew a circle on his calm left chest, her voice sweet and greasy, as if she had eaten a very sweet candy, and she rarely used such a coquettish tone. “Yesterday… Xiao Chan praised my dress. I was so happy. I couldn’t sleep all night.”
Su Yu opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but he was choked by his dry throat. But in the end, he didn’t say anything. He just quietly looked at the woman in his arms. Their eyes met, and they were lingeringly entangled, with a hint of a budding affection.
He slowly put his arm on Gu Zhi’s back, and the other party immediately responded with a more intense passion, as if she wanted to become a vine and bind him, to drill into the cracks of his bones, and to forcefully declare that his belonging belonged to her.
Under the dim light, everything seemed so quiet and beautiful. Gu Zhi rested her head on the boy’s shoulder, her smile bright. She happily said that she would cook for the other party, but she was reluctant to let go of their embracing arms for a long time. She looked as if she were no different from most couples who were in love.
But her eyes, in the moment she lost focus, turned cold. Gu Zhi leaned on Su Yu’s shoulder and stared at the gray and white wall behind him, the smile on her face torn to pieces.
She thought to herself with a blank expression, “So good… it would be even better if it were real. Or… it would be fine if it were fake for a lifetime.”
