Chapter 5: Pain
The rain was getting heavier, and the momentum was as if it would drown the entire city.
The narrow and cramped corridor of the small hotel, the windows and doors were tightly closed, and the walls were yellow, and the porcelain tiles were cracked.
They were trapped in a small space, one in front and one behind. She was following him with a dazed look, and her gaze was on the pale white on his wrist. Her cold and icy hand was held by him.
The sky and the earth were suddenly white, and the thunder outside the window was deafening. But between them, it was frighteningly quiet.
The cold and damp air on their bodies was filling the entire corridor, and the footprints and the mud were all over the ground. It was suddenly not cold, and it was even a little hot. The rainwater on their bodies was steaming into a mist, and it was blurring the vision of their eyes.
He had stopped in front of the door, and he was silently looking down and was taking out the key. She was standing behind him and was looking at him. She was so close that her senses were with her emotions, and they were also intensely doubled. The raindrops were hitting the window with a pattering sound. His thin, red lips were parting and were breathing out a white mist. Her heart was pounding in her chest…
The wet ends of his hair on the back of his head were slightly upturned, and water droplets were dripping down. All the way, the umbrella was almost completely covering her head.
As she was thinking, her brain was suddenly in a blank state.
She had wiped her throat, and she was speechless for a moment. The more empty her heart was, the more painful her nerves were.
How could she accept his kindness with a clear conscience? And besides, she had looked at him a few more times at the wedding, and her long-held composure and restraint had all been messed up. What if… she couldn’t forget? How could she live on? The more she could get it, the crazier she would become.
It was as if she were a withered grass that was relying on him for nourishment. She would die without him. If there was more… she would be drowned in the fear that he would never belong to her.
Her heart was starting to hurt again.
“Aren’t you coming in?”
He had turned his head and had looked at her. He had been in a daze for a long while. It was not until the next thunderclap that her words had been swallowed. He had only seen her nod, and she had entered the house.
He had passed through her, and the unique scent on his body was very strong. He had slammed the door shut, and the sound had shaken her.
He had changed his shoes at the entrance, and Su Yu had taken a pair for her.
Gu Zhi had lowered her head and had kicked off her high heels. She had seen him slowly bend down, and he was completely unguarded with his back to her. His neck, which was for repairing cars, was snow-white, and his wet and damp black hair was dripping with water.
She had suddenly felt a wave of a joy of having lost and then having found. The voice in her heart was louder than the thunder, and it had drilled into her blood, and it was roaring, and it was making a fuss. Her increasingly strong desire had made her vision go black.
“The hot water is ready. Go and take a shower.”
His voice was extremely calm and gentle, but it was as if he were being polite to a stranger, and he had not put her in his heart.
He had been looking for another pair of slippers in the shoe cabinet, but the light at the entryway had suddenly gone out. He had still not gotten her answer, and the surroundings were frighteningly quiet.
He had murmured with a nonchalant look, “Is there a power outage?”
Without any warning, she had pounced from behind. The floor had made a thud, and the two of them had hit the ground. He had thought that he would have a bad fall with the back of his head on the ground. After a long while, the expected pain had not come.
He was resting his head on a patch of softness. The other party seemed to have had a premeditated plan, and she had specially used her arm to cushion him. The weight of an adult man could not be ignored. This must have been quite heavy.
But Su Yu had not heard her make a sound. His hands were fumbling in the dark, and he could only hear his rushed breathing and another overlapping. He could feel that she was lying on the side of his face, and her breath was hot. Her body was soft, and it was very cold, like a melting ice cream.
His nerves had suddenly trembled, and he had felt a cold and icy hand caressing his cheek. His fingertips were trembling, and his breathing on his face had become heavy, and it was filled with a wet and damp heat.
“You…”
The hoarse and blurry sound had become a trigger. He had been a little caught off guard, and a whimper had escaped from their intertwined lips.
Her movements were not gentle. When she had tasted him, she had even been out of control and had been rough for a moment. She was holding his back and was caressing it up and down.
The kiss in the darkness, the curled-up toes, the wet and hot eyes… all revealed a kind of a self-abandoning determination and a despair.
If it was destined to be lost, then it would be better to just burn the reason now and just seek a moment of a wanton pleasure.
A little more hatred, a little less hatred. There was no difference.
So her kiss was magnificent, like a raging fire.
She had broken through his teeth, and her possessiveness had turned into a wet tongue, and she was constantly entangling him. She was almost frantically sucking his lips. Her strength was really not small, and for a moment, he could not even open his eyes. The force of her reason collapsing was both crazy and obedient, like a noble but injured big cat.
The oxygen between their lips and teeth had been squeezed out. In the suffocating and muddled state, his mind was filled with the high and mighty Gu Zhi. She had been seriously injured, and she had finally lowered her proud head. The movements that were imprisoning him were as if they were as rough as in the past, but in fact, they were very careful, for fear of hurting him.
So Su Yu had shaken off her hand, and he had not been able to hold back his instinctive surprise and anger and had pushed Gu Zhi. In the darkness, there was a thud, and it was very loud, like the thunder outside the window.
But she had still not cried out in pain. In the dark and narrow space, he could vaguely see her beautiful and exquisite features, and they were all wrinkled together.
He had not turned on the light at the first moment. Instead, he had sat on the ground with his legs apart, and the back of his head was against the wall. She had kissed him so madly, and the saliva of the two of them, which was mixed together, was seeping down from the corners of their lips. His collar, his mouth, his breath, were all filled with her smell.
Neither of them had spoken again. They could hear the pounding in their chests, which was as muffled as a drum. The silence was spreading like a deadly plague.
She had imprisoned him at that time, and the two of them had had very few words. The occasional communication was also a quarrel. Gu Zhi, who had always been gentle and dignified in front of outsiders, was a living madwoman behind her back. She was particularly irritable in front of him.
The dirty and vulgar curses could not shake her. But as long as it was about him not loving her, a few words could make her lose her reason. After her anger, she would always pull him to make love. It was as if in this way, she could get happiness, to soothe her heart, which deserved to be hurt.
He had always thought that she was the one who was demanding, and she was the one who was venting, to fill her bottomless and almost-perverted desire. But in fact, he was wrong.
When the sex had reached its climax, she would hold his back tightly. At that time, his back was full of scratches, and his sweaty and pale neck was on his shoulder, and he was drenched in sweat. He had heard her obsessively calling his name, once… twice… many, many times.
She had seriously told him that she really loved him. At that time, he was in desire, and his mind was full of thoughts of venting. He had ignored her confession. When he had woken up, he had forgotten everything.
The desire was about to reach its peak. She would often ask him to be a little faster. It seemed that she could never be satisfied. But she would also say… she was in so much pain.
Later, when he had calmed down and had thought about it carefully, the her of that time was full of contradictions.
She had gotten him, but in fact, she was not happy. She had pulled him from the dark night to the dawn. But in fact, she was in so much pain, and she was even more in pain than when he was being tormented. She had been enduring it, and she had bitten the bedsheet, and she was waiting for him to finish.
He had taken revenge on her with this. He had dragged out the time, and he had watched as she was in so much pain that her face was pale, and she was almost fainting…
The desire for revenge had made him crazy at that time. The two of them had tormented each other, and neither of them had let the other go.
But he had never understood. Pain? Why did she have to do it if it was painful?
Su Yu had shaken his dizzy head. His hair, and his collar were all in a mess. He had licked the fishy smell of blood on his lips, and his voice was plain as he had asked her, “Does it hurt?”
His tone was as light as water. When he was imprisoned, he would also be moved in front of desire. But now, he was really treating her as a stranger.
This feeling, well, it was not a good taste. It was particularly uncomfortable. His heart was cramping with a sourness, and it was sometimes fast and sometimes slow. It was not painful… it was just uncomfortable. It was like a wound that had scabbed over, but the inside was rotten. It looked as if it were about to heal, but it could never heal.
Gu Zhi had bitten her lips, and she had said… it hurt.
She had led his hand and had put it on her heart. The heart was beating under the ribs and the flesh. She had pulled at the corners of her lips, and her smile was forced and pale. She was forcing a smile, and she was fawning on him in every way. Her expression was aggrieved, and she was like a child.
She had said it hurt. Don’t let me hurt here. Okay?
“Gu Zhi, the rain has stopped outside.”
Su Yu had slowly withdrawn his hand. He was not so quick to forgive a person. He had originally thought that he could, but he had found that he couldn’t do it at all.
Her hand was in mid-air, and it was reaching for him, and then it had stopped. It was as if a nerve had been broken, and it had drooped weakly.
“I… I’m leaving tomorrow. Let me cook a meal for you.”
