Chapter 4: Deserved
The evening sky was dark and gloomy. Large clumps of clouds were like a thick and dark ink that had been splashed. They were stuck together, and they had swallowed the fiery red of the sunset. The sky had thus become dark.
Su Yu had bought a lot of things at the supermarket, and the large plastic bag was full.
A dark and pressing crowd of people was moving, and the atmosphere around them was stuffy. The hot and scorching, twisted air was stained with moisture, and it had evaporated into a restless and white mist. The dragonflies were flying low, and it was clear that it was about to rain.
The rain in midsummer was rushed and sudden. The speed of the crowd was obviously getting faster, and a bit of a tension was added to the stuffiness. It was as if a handful of firewood had been added to a burning and steaming stove.
He had wiped the sweat from his forehead. The heavy plastic bag was in his hand, and he was following the crowd and was walking across the street. He had stopped at the crossroads where he had been waiting when he had come.
He was a little out of breath. His gaze was bored and was chasing a dragonfly that was flying low on the grass. It had passed over a few small cars, and the sky had darkened. Someone had stuck his hand out of the window and had flicked the ash from his cigarette. The red spark was particularly eye-catching.
He had glanced at the red light again, and his gaze had unconsciously swept over the other side. The hand that was holding the plastic bag had suddenly tensed, and the distinct and well-defined bones of his hand had squeezed the blood out of his skin, and it had turned white.
There was a surprise, a hesitation, and also a hint of a very, very faint fear…
The feeling was like a fierce and violent shark in the sea. It was chasing its prey, smelling the faint and fishy smell of blood. Subconsciously… he had still taken a step back.
She was a person who could not completely integrate into the world of ordinary people. She was graceful, dignified, and elegant… and also a twisted and perverted person. This kind of person was born to be a crane standing among a flock of chickens. No matter how turbulent the crowd was, she could always be noticed at first glance.
A bus that was full of passengers was swaying and was passing over the crosswalk. His vision was blocked by an abrupt billboard.
The green light had lit up, and he had been pushed forward by the crowd.
The dim yellow light, and the car lights were piercing the darkness in the distance. The sound of cars and people was noisy, and the slowly lit neon lights were gradually illuminating the night, like the blooming of wild flowers all over the ground.
He had been in a daze for a moment, and he had quickly stabilized his movements and had walked towards the other side of the road.
After everything had been torn apart, Gu Zhi had almost never come to find him. Only a few times, Gu Xiyue had found all kinds of opportunities to bring her. He didn’t know whose wish it was.
The two of them had met and had not been able to say anything. They had also not mentioned the past, which was filled with a fishy smell of blood. It was as if nothing had happened. But actually, Su Yu had not let go. That dark and gloomy period was too chaotic. The smell of blood in the air, the smell of sex, and the fresh and gentle neroli fragrance were lingering at the tip of his nose…
Sometimes he didn’t know if it was an illusion. When he had come home from work, he had occasionally seen a black long dress swaying in the night on a long bench downstairs from a distance.
She was like a lonely ghost with nowhere to rely on. It was just that the soul was a deep black, and her figure was graceful, and her posture was graceful. The surroundings were covered with a layer of a dim yellow halo of a streetlight, and it was blurry… it was as if it were separated by a layer of a frosted glass. But at first glance… he had felt that it was her.
When he had gotten closer, the long bench was empty again. The night was dark and gloomy, and the shadows of the trees were swaying. The shadows of the buildings were one after another. Perhaps it was a psychological effect. He had turned his back to the long bench and had gone upstairs. He would always inexplicably perceive some gazes that were coming from the darkness, and they were very hidden… but they were scorching hot.
The roles of the two of them were as if they had suddenly been reversed. She had once imprisoned his freedom with pain and hunger, and she was cold and indifferent, and she was powerful… but it seemed that that was all. He was no longer afraid of pain. She had become strong on the outside but weak on the inside, and she had lost her most powerful weapon. On the contrary, she, who was in a strong and controlling position, had first become the timid and cowardly one.
He had walked to the other side of the road, and the faces around him had become strange again. He had not found Gu Zhi’s shadow.
Was it an illusion? Or was he seeing things?
This was not Qingchuan, and he had not told anyone else about his business trip.
This time, he must have been mistaken. He had turned left into a dark and narrow sidewalk.
…
Gu Zhi had walked out from behind a lush and thick tree. A plain black long dress was swaying in the hot and dry evening wind. If it wasn’t for the fact that it was late at night, and the tree was also strong, otherwise it would have been really not easy to hide.
She was afraid of being seen, and she was also deeply afraid that he would not see her. The spear and the shield were stuck in her heart.
The purpose of her coming was probably just to see him. Later, for some reason, when she had seen him, her mind had changed again. She had wanted to talk to him, and to be a little more excessive, she had wanted to touch him, to cure the past…
She had greedily watched as he had disappeared into the crowd, and he had slowly disappeared into the vast and dark night.
He had matured, and his features were still exquisite. He was very conspicuous in the crowd. A girl had turned her gaze sideways and had secretly looked at him. She was young, and she was beautiful, and she was a stranger… she was recklessly looking at him, and she was asking him for his contact information. She was looking at him and was smiling, and she had politely and friendly refused.
He seemed to be doing quite well. For some reason… she was a little glad. She had not completely and utterly destroyed him.
This is good. This is good…
The crowd was passing by her side, like a stream of water that could not be held. She felt that she was covered by an invisible cage. The shackles that had once been on him were now binding her, and she was almost suffocating.
Would she have disturbed him?
She was in a daze, and her hand was on the surface of her dress, and it was wrinkled. She had turned around and had walked back. Her shadow was gradually stretched long under the dim yellow streetlight. She had walked for three steps, and her heart was hanging in mid-air and was swaying. She had slowly turned her head back, and this time, she could not see him clearly.
Her vision was suddenly piercing. She had squinted her eyes, and the dark black sky had suddenly been torn open. The pouring rain was pouring down. The crowd that was coming and going had suddenly become chaotic. She had been pushed a few times, and she had almost tripped on the side of the road.
The rain was fierce and mighty, and it was hitting the ground with a pattering sound. Her long hair was wet, and the surface of her dress was wet and was drooping. She had lowered her long and narrow eye tails, and the makeup on her face was ruined. Her complexion was not very good. The body that she had been recuperating for these past few years had been ruined by her in less than a year after she had come into contact with him at the wedding.
Auntie Jing’s phone had suddenly come. “Where are you? Did you really go and find him? Why is it so noisy over there?”
“Auntie Jing, you and Gu Chuan are right. Some people are born not to be loved. You can’t force what you can’t get. I deserved it.”
She had clenched her phone, and the crowd around her was empty. They were all looking for an eave to hide from the rain. She was leaning against a stone pier on the side of the road with a somewhat abrupt look. She had slowly squatted down, and her tall and slender body was shrunk into a small one. The rainwater had washed her face, and it was pale.
The rainwater was cool, but her forehead was scorching hot. The two opposite sensations were in a stalemate, and they had made her in a muddle. She was parting her pale lips, and she was murmuring, as if she had resigned herself to her fate. “It’s all what I deserve… it’s retribution.”
In the time he had been gone, Gu Zhi had often had nightmares. She had dreamed that he was dead. She had watched as his body and soul had been separated. She had reached out her hand but had not been able to hold on to him. She had watched as he had passed through her hand, and his body had rotted, and he had turned into a white bone…
Actually, a long, long time ago, she had already known his news. That girl had taken her to the capital. When she had learned that he had been lost and had been found, she had almost gone crazy. All her excitement was mixed with a kind of a desire for comfort after a long illness, and it had extended to an almost-crazy and obsessive possessiveness.
The boss of the girl’s law firm was very powerful in the capital. It was a little troublesome to bring him back, but it was not impossible if she paid a little price.
But it was not until she had suddenly realized that she was about to lose control again, and she was going crazy, and she was being unscrupulous…
What would he think of her then? Comfort? A fool would know that this was a joke.
After a serious illness, she had become cowardly and hesitant. She was concerned about his feelings. So the real answer had become a mental block that had made her stop and was unable to act.
Auntie Jing had never spoiled her. She had told the truth. She had said that the Gu Zhi of the past had been emotionally thin, and she had been arrogant and arbitrary. She had only known how to possess… her bones were all bad, and the blood that was flowing was cold. She was a complete monster.
A monster… does not deserve to be loved.
Yes, she did not deserve it. She deserved it. They had all said so. It had been like this since she was a child.
The cold and icy rainwater was washing the heat at the corners of her eyes.
The sound of cars was a raging flood, and the curtain of rain had swallowed the figures.
Later, the rain had suddenly stopped. Gu Zhi had wiped the water from her face. But she had seen that the eaves were still filled with a dark and pressing crowd of figures. They were all looking at her, and the look was like looking at a madwoman.
She had raised her head. It was a dark black umbrella.
