A Promise in a Thought 93

Chapter 93

Bo Muyu’s twenty-third birthday was spent on the film set.

Su Man, under the pretext that the crew had been busy for a long time, hosted a banquet for the entire crew at a hotel near the film studio. It wasn’t until everyone was seated, and the table was filled with a dazzling array of dishes, and everyone was waiting for Su Man to announce the start of the banquet, that she raised her wine glass and revealed that it was Bo Muyu’s birthday.

Bo Muyu’s hard work was evident to everyone in the crew. She was also a junior leader in the company, but she had no airs. Apart from not being very enthusiastic, there were almost no flaws to be found in her.

As soon as Su Man made the announcement, almost everyone raised their glasses to wish Bo Muyu a “happy birthday.”

This was the day Bo Muyu had smiled the most since she had left Jiang Chenyin. She could no longer keep a straight face. At this moment, her career had finally made her, who had been immersed in sorrow, lift her head and greet everyone with a smile.

Jiang Chenyin would not have wanted her to shrink into her own world and stop moving forward after a setback. She was very sure that Jiang Chenyin would not have wanted that.

After her birthday, the weather gradually turned cooler.

Although Bo Muyu had brought enough clothes long ago, the many days of hard work still made her catch a cold first, and then she developed a fever.

She was in good health and rarely had minor illnesses, unless she was too busy and did not pay attention to her body. Now that she was away from home, distant water could not put out a nearby fire. She did not tell her family and took a few days off from Su Man to rest in the hotel.

The winter solstice had already passed, and the sky darkened early. It was completely dark by a little after six.

Bo Muyu ordered takeout, took her medicine after she had eaten, and remembered that the delivery boy had just reminded her with a smile to give a good review when she had time, so she casually lit up her phone screen.

The date on the lock screen immediately caught her eye: December 15th.

It was almost Jiang Chenyin’s birthday. As soon as she thought of this, the pill got stuck in her throat for a moment as she swallowed. She quickly took another sip of water and swallowed it, but the bitter taste had already spread in her throat.

Last year, she had still been happy that she and Jiang Chenyin’s birthdays finally had each other again. But this year was almost over. Her birthday did not have Jiang Chenyin, and Jiang Chenyin’s birthday would no longer have her.

It was as if they had been permanently removed from each other’s lives after that day, like two parallel lines that would never intersect, never meet, and never get close.

The bitterness spread fiercely. Bo Muyu drank her water too quickly, quickly covered her mouth, and coughed violently. Then she drank several more mouthfuls of water, the corners of her eyes gradually turning red.

She was so busy every day that she didn’t have time to think too much, but at this moment, thinking of Jiang Chenyin’s birthday, thinking of the parting that day, her already numb heart began to ache again.

She had greedily wanted to get what she shouldn’t have, and had tested Jiang Chenyin’s feelings with a trial-and-error mentality. Like a moth drawn to a flame, she knew that the possibility of having that light was smaller than being destroyed, yet she couldn’t help but want to fly over.

With a wisp of expectation, holding a speck of hope, in the end, she was reduced to ashes, and even everything she had in the past was burned to ashes with it.

Bo Muyu covered her mouth, her vision blurred, and tears rolled down, falling on the back of her hand.

It was as if the scene from that day was replaying before her eyes. She had said those words behind Jiang Chenyin, and she was crying uncontrollably. But Jiang Chenyin, who had always been concerned even when she frowned, had not turned around, had not given her a single word.

She bit her lip to stop her sobs, swallowed them back, and went back to the sofa, curling up and hugging her knees.

She probably didn’t want to see her again. How could she want to see her? Seeing her would remind her of the secret, unspeakable thoughts in her heart. No wonder Jiang Chenyin was unwilling to turn back.

She huddled on the sofa for a long time, letting her cheeks get wet and then dry. The lights in the room were not on. Her consciousness was hazy. She just wanted to fall asleep like this and never wake up again.

When there was a knock on the door, Bo Muyu woke up from a dream-like state, patted her face. The emotional outburst from just now had given her a headache.

She walked to the door with unsteady steps and forced a smile for the person outside. “Senior, what brings you here?”

Seeing that she was not in a good state, Su Man forgot her manners, hurried in, turned on the lights, and then placed the thermal container she was holding on the coffee table, and then helped her to the sofa to sit down.

“I took my medicine today. I’m much better,” Bo Muyu said with a comforting smile.

“Your condition this morning was much better than now,” Su Man said with a frown, feeling her forehead and muttering to herself, “It’s okay. Maybe you’re just too tired and haven’t had enough rest.”

Bo Muyu let out a soft laugh and adjusted her coat. “I already said I’m fine. What did you bring? Is it food?”

She was no longer as unaccustomed to Su Man’s touch as before. After being together for a few months, there would be some physical contact, and Su Man had never made her feel awkward, as if that confession had never happened.

She felt guilty, and also a little closer, but it was not the kind of fluttering heart she had for Jiang Chenyin. Su Man was always like a sister to her.

Su Man smiled helplessly. “You’re so happy when there’s food. You’re still sick. What can I say about you?”

“Don’t say anything. Just give it to me to eat,” Bo Muyu said with a smile, like an obedient cat waiting to be fed by its owner, but her face was a little pale, and her spirits were not good.

Su Man opened the thermal container, and a wave of sweet, hot steam rushed out. It was a bowl of hot sweet rice balls.

Su Man handed her the thermal container and a spoon. “Finish the sweet rice balls and then drink the ginger and brown sugar water. You got a fever from catching a cold. Drinking some ginger and brown sugar water is good for you.”

Bo Muyu took it, her eyes squinting a little with a smile. “Thank you, Senior.”

She was a quiet girl to begin with, and it was rare for her to show such an unguarded look. Su Man subconsciously reached out, wanting to stroke her lowered head, but she quickly stopped halfway and just smiled faintly. “Eat slowly.”

Bo Muyu was eating the round, plump sweet rice balls. Su Man watched for a while and then walked to the window.

“It’s almost the New Year. We can’t wrap up filming before the New Year’s Day.”

Bo Muyu was taken aback for a moment and let out a low “mmm.”

Su Man turned to look at her, her expression complicated, and finally just said, “It’ll be almost done after New Year’s Day. We’ll finish the last part in one go and try to go back early.”

Bo Muyu still said “mmm,” her head down as she ate the sweet rice balls, a tear falling into the ginger and brown sugar water. She frantically took several mouthfuls of the ginger and brown sugar water from the thermal container, swallowing her own bitterness along with it.

It was snowing in Qinzhou in December. It was winter again.

On the weekend, the Jiang family’s descendants were all gathered. After lunch, Jiang Yingzong said, “Next week is Liu’er’s birthday. Are there any special arrangements this year?”

Old Master Jiang pondered for a moment, then tapped the floor heavily with his cane. “Let’s just do it like in previous years. You and the second can handle it.”

“Okay,” Jiang Gaojun agreed cheerfully. “Let’s invite all our friends for a gathering. Liu’er’s friends, and Mingliang’s family, all of them.”

Old Master Jiang nodded in agreement, then smiled. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that child, Xiaoyu.” He sighed and recalled, “It seems I haven’t seen her since August or September. She didn’t come for so long even in the years Liu’er was abroad. And it’s almost the New Year.”

Just then, Xu Zijun said, “Dad, Xiaoyu has gone to another city with the film crew. She’s been gone for a few months.”

Old Master Jiang was in a daze, then nodded. “Ah… I remember. She’s very busy.”

Sun Ruowei chimed in, “That’s right. She can’t come back for the New Year either. Xialan just told me the latest news this morning.”

At this moment, Jiang Chenyin, who had been silent all along, her eyelashes trembled, and her hands unconsciously clasped together.

Old Master Jiang let out a long sigh, and the living room fell silent.

In the afternoon, Jiang Chenyin went to the study. Old Master Jiang was practicing calligraphy as usual.

It was a poem by Xin Qiji, “Green Jade Cup: Lantern Festival.” When Jiang Chenyin stood by the desk, Old Master Jiang had just finished the last line, “Suddenly turning back, that person is there, in the dimming lights.”

Old Master Jiang’s brushwork was bold and unrestrained. Even the graceful and restrained meaning of the poem had a somewhat unrestrained quality in his hands, which was not at all out of place.

Seeing her come in, Old Master Jiang smiled. “Why aren’t you with your two sisters-in-law? Before you came today, I heard from Zijun that that child, Yixuan, is being pursued by a girl in school. He’s grown up so fast in the blink of an eye.”

Jiang Chenyin was silent. Old Master Jiang paused, then instructed, “If you have time to talk to your two sisters-in-law, have them teach the children well. They absolutely cannot be reckless.” After he finished, he smiled and murmured, “I’m really old now. My grandson is so old.”

Jiang Chenyin’s body shuddered, and she said in a low voice, “Dad, I’m sorry.”

She had been holding this sentence in for a long time. It had been on her mind since she had rejected Duan Zhiheng, but every time she came back to the old residence, she couldn’t say it. Now, hearing Old Master Jiang lamenting his full house of children and grandchildren, she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

But Old Master Jiang smiled knowingly. “What, did you do something wrong?”

Jiang Chenyin pressed her lips together, a hint of guilt in her eyes as she met Old Master Jiang’s gaze. “I rejected Director Duan, a few months ago.”

Old Master Jiang looked at her for a few seconds before answering, “Of course I know that. Is your apology because of this matter?”

Jiang Chenyin nodded. “Yes.”

The next second, Old Master Jiang smiled and asked with an unreadable meaning, “Do you think you should apologize?”

“Dad…” Jiang Chenyin was slightly taken aback, not having expected such a response at all.

The Jiang family’s upbringing was strict. How to conduct oneself, Old Master Jiang had personally taught them in the past, rather than letting his children experience and understand it on their own. But at the same time, her parents were also extremely tolerant and generous, never putting pressure on their children, for example, in matters of marriage.

Jiang Chenyin knew that he hoped his children would be happy, otherwise he would not have been so considerate of her inner turmoil for so many years. But he was also worried and anxious. But she had not expected her father to tell her at this time that this apology was unnecessary.

After Old Master Jiang sat down, he pointed to a chair, signaling her to sit down with him, a smile on his face as he said to her, “He’s a good child. I’ve seen him many times before I retired. I’ve always admired him. But Liu’er, I’ve never thought that you should be with him.”

Jiang Chenyin was puzzled by his words. He waved his hand to indicate that she should not interrupt, and then continued, “I know your worries. You’re afraid that someone will be hurt because of your choice again. No matter how clearly we bystanders see it, it’s of no use to you, because you have personally experienced the hurt. No one can empathize, so I’ve never brought up the matter of starting a family with you. But this is only one point. There’s another point. I don’t want part of the reason you choose a partner to be because of your family.”

Jiang Chenyin subconsciously murmured, “You don’t want part of the reason I choose a partner to be because of my family?”

Old Master Jiang nodded, his aged face filled with the wisdom and tolerance brought by the years. “I hope that when my children choose a partner, they only need to consider whether this person is the right one, one who suits their heart, and not whether your mother and I like this person.”

“Dad…” Jiang Chenyin was still surprised. She was silent for a long time, and finally, the corners of her lips curved up. “Thank you.”

“I originally didn’t want to bring these things up,” Old Master Jiang sighed, his expression kind and with a hint of the habitual seriousness he had developed from being in a high position. “Those things are not only something you are unwilling to recall, but also something that your mother, your brothers, and your sisters-in-law are unwilling to bring up. But you apologized to me for rejecting Zhiheng, which means you feel guilty, so I have to tell you my thoughts.”

“Actually, it’s not that I can’t bring it up, because I’m afraid of having nightmares, so…” Jiang Chenyin sighed softly. “Although I’m used to it, I’m still scared when I think about it.”

At the mention of nightmares, Old Master Jiang’s gaze became much more distant, and he intentionally or unintentionally changed the subject. “You’re much happier when you’re with Xiaoyu. That child has been quiet since she was little, but she just happens to like being with you.”

At the mention of Bo Muyu, Jiang Chenyin’s gaze dimmed, and she was silent.

It had been several months, and she had had no contact with Bo Muyu.

They did not have the habit of posting on their social media, but these past few months, she seemed to have forgotten this habit and would open her social media to look every day. She held a little bit of hope in her heart, hoping to see that name.

But there was none. Bo Muyu’s most recent post was still the one she had made when she had left Qinzhou a few months ago. The news about her, she had all heard from her sisters-in-law and Ye Xialan.

This only made her heart ache. What really made her unable to breathe was that she had to pretend in front of so many people that she was not unaware of Bo Muyu’s current situation. She endured the heaviness in her chest, letting everyone think that she was still as dependent on by Bo Muyu as before.

When Ye Xialan was heartbroken that Bo Muyu was not eating well, she would agree.

When her sisters-in-law were discussing the secretly taken photos of Bo Muyu on the set a few days ago, she would listen with a smile.

No one knew that her whole heart had fallen into an abyss, and no one knew that when she returned to her room, which was only her, she would often be unable to close her eyes all night. Before her eyes was the scene from that day, of Bo Muyu crying behind her, begging her not to hate her. Her heart ached so much she could hardly breathe.

Even without turning around, she could imagine how sad that child was. Even without turning around, she could almost feel those burning tears.

In the warm light of the setting sun, Jiang Chenyin lowered her head, her eyelids slightly drooping to hide the tears in her eyes. Faintly, she heard Old Master Jiang’s comfort, which was still on the matter from just now, “Alright, let’s not talk about these things anymore. I don’t want you to live a life of compromise. If it really can’t be, then forget it.”