Chapter 22
Xu Ling washed her face, washing away the tears shed from reading the novel. What’s with this author? Why write so well? It made her, someone with no ex, feel a sense of empathy.
She came out of the restroom and saw Qin Cong’an leaning against the door, waiting for her.
“Why didn’t you go down first?” Xu Ling asked.
Qin Cong’an didn’t answer, just curved the corners of her lips and smiled at her.
Xu Ling instantly felt a chill run down her spine. “What’s wrong?”
“…Nothing.” Qin Cong’an opened the door and walked out, rubbing her face. Was her smile unnatural?
The directors she had worked with, the judges of film awards, and the online reviews all said her performance was natural, that she was good at controlling her expressions and body language, never overdoing it or falling short.
She could use an outsider’s perspective to understand a character’s psychology and then portray it accurately. But when it came to her own affairs, did she just crash and burn?
While Xu Ling was washing her face, Qin Cong’an had thought it over a few times. It was a fact that Xu Ling couldn’t forget her ex. It was useless for her to be sulking about it. A cold response would only push her further away.
To make Xu Ling forget her ex, what she should do was create new, good memories for her.
Qin Cong’an waited for Xu Ling to come out and gave her a smile—but it seemed she hadn’t been able to suppress her annoyance and resentment at Xu Ling for crying over a “broken mirror reunited” novel.
Instead, she had scared her.
Xu Ling was indeed scared. She had never seen Qin Cong’an smile like that. It was a pure joy, her nose slightly wrinkled, like a child seeing a favorite toy.
Soon, Xu Ling knew why Qin Cong’an had smiled at her like that.
Today, the two of them weren’t burying a body. They were filming a dream sequence in the forest. It was called a forest, but it wasn’t dense, making it seem even more desolate. It was called a dream sequence, but it wasn’t that simple.
This was almost the final scene of the movie. The two of them drove to an unknown place. The road nearby was wide, lined with tall camphor trees.
Sometimes Wen Xi drove, sometimes Jian Yu drove. They blasted the music in the car, death metal, chosen by Jian Yu. But neither of them could stand it, listening while covering their ears and laughing.
Sometimes they would put on some fresh music, or classical music, the slow sound of a piano flowing, sometimes with the sudden, passionate swell of strings.
They parked the car on the side of the road, caught a wild rabbit nearby, roasted and ate it. After eating, they stared blankly at the faint embers flickering in the wind.
Tonight was a highly challenging scene for the two actresses.
Jian Yu had already killed the man who had murdered her parents. What was she to do next? Should she continue to be an assassin with Wen Xi? She no longer had a goal for the future. It seemed there was no meaning in living anymore.
Wen Xi had lost an arm. It would be difficult for her to continue as an assassin. But if she wasn’t an assassin, what else could she do? This was the only skill she had to survive on. And she still had Jian Yu.
Jian Yu seemed to have fallen into a void, and Wen Xi had fallen into an emotional illness called Jian Yu.
Chang Ning smiled. “You’re both dead.”
The script was very clear. The two protagonists both die in the end. As for how they die, it wasn’t important and wouldn’t be filmed. Death was a feeling.
They were just on the road, their bodies clean and whole, the car’s fuel never running out. They didn’t meet a single person along the way, only each other and the music for company, talking and laughing.
Chang Ning said, “Just relax. It’s a kind of liberation, a feeling of being in heaven, understand?”
Xu Ling kind of understood. But she understood why Qin Cong’an had smiled like that. It was to get into character in advance.
That light, bright smile, without a trace of any other thought, the smile for someone you like—that was the feeling of Wen Xi smiling at Jian Yu in the scene they were about to act.
Here, Wen Xi and Jian Yu were already dead, completely shed of their pasts, including their professions, their social relationships, like two carefree little sprites that had appeared out of thin air.
The two of them drove in the twilight, their journey filled with songs and laughter, occasionally looking at each other, their two pairs of clear eyes intertwining.
During the rehearsal, Chang Ning was very dissatisfied, her expression serious. “Neither of your states is the feeling I want. Just think of yourselves as little girls who have just come into this world, with a companion by your side. She is the only person in this world who is just like you.”
Xu Ling glanced at Qin Cong’an. Wasn’t her state just fine a moment ago? Why couldn’t she get into character now?
“You two should communicate,” Chang Ning said. “No need to rush. We can take our time.”
That’s what she said, but her tone was clearly a bit rushed.
The two of them took the script and got into the car, trying to find the feeling themselves first.
Xu Ling didn’t know how to find it. She just read Jian Yu’s lines from the script, humming along with the lyrics, trying to get into character.
Qin Cong’an was also silent. After a long while, she said, “It’s probably the feeling of first love.”
“Oh, right.” Xu Ling agreed. First love. Her first love hadn’t even started yet. “But first love seems to have a bitter taste, doesn’t it? Their state doesn’t have any bitterness at all.”
“Mhm, that’s true.” Qin Cong’an glanced at her. Bitterness, yes, it was quite bitter.
Chang Ning tossed a tablet up to them. It was playing a cartoon, the story of a little girl on an adventure. “This is the feeling.”
The two of them held the tablet and watched the cartoon. They seemed to be getting a grasp of it.
The official shoot began. First, they filmed the part with Wen Xi driving. Jian Yu was fiddling with the stereo. After a long time, there was a sudden loud noise that startled both of them. They looked at each other and burst out laughing, finding everything hilarious.
They had originally thought it would be difficult to proceed, but once they started filming, everything became smooth.
Once they captured that state, the rest was easy to push forward. The two of them were completely fooling around in the car, as if in a mobile karaoke room. No matter how badly they sang, they didn’t feel burdened. After all, the person next to them was just like them.
Two people who had carried a tragic fate seemed to be having the time of their lives for the first time.
After filming the car scenes, at two in the morning, they started filming the part of building a fire and roasting the rabbit.
It went smoothly. Chang Ning gradually got hyped up.
Chang Ning had the two of them come over to look, telling them what needed to be adjusted. She encouraged them with confidence, “One more take and we’ll get it!”
Xu Ling looked at Qin Cong’an on the monitor. She acted so well. So this was the feeling. No burdens at all. The way she looked at Jian Yu was filled with a pure and clean love that emanated from within.
She walked over to the bonfire, sat on a small stool, and looked at Qin Cong’an, imagining what that feeling was like.
She liked her. She didn’t know what other relationships she had outside of her. She just liked her, liked looking at her.
Qin Cong’an’s gaze also came over, past the flickering dark red flames. Their eyes met, like rainwater flowing into a stream.
Chang Ning was poked by Liang He. She looked up, paused for a moment, and then quietly started filming. This exchange of glances was too beautiful.
Chang Ning remembered the reason she had chosen Xu Ling to play Jian Yu.
At an event, with several people between them, Xu Ling had looked at Qin Cong’an from a distance, her eyes like a fawn’s, as if wanting to taste this fragrant cake that was Qin Cong’an.
Qin Cong’an sensed the gaze and also looked over, her eyes cold, scaring the little fawn away. This was a somewhat dangerous cake. She noticed someone was watching her and also sized her up for two seconds before calmly retracting her gaze.
A smile spread across Chang Ning’s face. She knew she had made the right choice in casting Xu Ling.
Qin Cong’an’s professionalism made her notice that they had started filming. She immediately began to lead Xu Ling into the scene, reminding her to follow through with this part.
Xu Ling also reacted quickly. Emotion, lines, not a single thing was missed.
“Cut!” Chang Ning shouted excitedly. This was the feeling. She wished she could edit the film right now and show it to the whole world!
After shooting a few more shots from different angles, they wrapped up for the day smoothly.
Xu Ling got into the car, feeling emotionally drained. She was so tired. Getting into Jian Yu’s state, trying to ignore all the attributes of reality, was surprisingly exhausting.
After returning to the guesthouse room, Xu Ling showered first.
While showering, she felt the world go black. She hurriedly leaned against the wall but was still a little unsteady.
With her last bit of consciousness, Xu Ling wrapped herself in a towel, opened the door, and called out, “Qin Cong’an…”
Xu Ling felt like she had slept for a long time. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep, but it seemed very deep. Her consciousness was a little scattered, then slowly came together.
She dreamed of a place, a small cabin in a mountain forest. Jian Yu and Wen Xi were cooking. It was raining there, but the sky was very clear, not like a place that existed in real life.
She woke up and saw Qin Cong’an leaning against her, reading a book.
For a moment, Xu Ling felt it was so beautiful. This was still a dream, right? She snuggled into the blanket and slowly moved closer.
“Are you hungry?” Qin Cong’an saw that she was awake, put down her book, and asked.
“Hungry,” Xu Ling said and burrowed into her clothes.
Qin Cong’an pulled her out. “If you’re hungry, get up and eat. Otherwise, you’ll faint again tonight.”
Faint? Xu Ling suddenly remembered. Right, she had almost fainted in the shower yesterday. Wait, she thought she had managed to finish her shower and then lie down, right?
Qin Cong’an brought over a water bottle. Seeing her dazed, she stuck the straw in her mouth. “Drink.”
Xu Ling followed the command and took a few sips of water. She remembered. Her last memory was clearly just wrapping herself in a towel and opening the door—she hadn’t even properly dressed and gotten back into bed!
Xu Ling looked down. Her pajamas were on properly. Qin Cong’an must have put them on for her. Wait, she was still bleeding… My god, I don’t want to live.
Qin Cong’an held a forehead thermometer to her forehead and said, “You were probably too tired last night, plus your period and the reversed sleep schedule, so you fainted. You also had a low-grade fever.”
“…” At this point, Xu Ling wished the thermometer was a real gun and would just put her out of her misery.
Qin Cong’an showed her the normal temperature on the thermometer. “I don’t even need to measure. I can see you’re better. You started acting like a rogue as soon as you opened your eyes.”
“…” Xu Ling decided to just give up. “Then do you want me to be a rogue to you?”
I give up.
“I’ll go get you some food first. Wait here,” Qin Cong’an said, getting out of bed and leaving the room.
