Volume 2: Tragic Life
The water around her was icy cold, seeping through Liang Sheng’s thin clothes and chilling her straight to the heart and lungs. So cold… so very cold. She lacked the strength to struggle.
In the midst of this terrifying silence, a memory suddenly flooded back to her…
Back in high school, Liang Sheng had liked the sweet-smiling girl who sat in front of her for more than a day. That girl had a lovely face and a lovely voice.
Liang Sheng always loved sneaking glances at the girl ahead of her. Just having the person she liked within her line of sight felt like pure bliss.
She especially cherished the moments when the teacher collected homework. The girl in front would turn around and softly ask for Liang Sheng’s assignment. Every time, Liang Sheng would pretend nonchalance as she handed it over. Then, once the girl turned back, she would cover her mouth and giggle to herself, just like a child who had scored a piece of candy.
The girl’s name was Lin Yiyi—a beautiful name.
Liang Sheng had no idea exactly how she had fallen for her. It just happened out of nowhere, this fluttering of the heart, this longing to be with her forever. Liang Sheng wasn’t afraid of those feelings. In the face of love, everyone was equal. Why shouldn’t she be with the person she liked?
But society wouldn’t allow it.
As graduation from senior year approached, Liang Sheng could no longer hold back her emotions. She racked her brain and drafted a long confession.
She was a coward at heart, too scared to say “I love you” face-to-face. To avoid regrets, though, she sent Lin Yiyi a text message.
If she had known the outcome back then, she never would have hit send on that confession—the one that nearly drove her to suicide.
The next day, after sending the message, Liang Sheng walked into the classroom. Every pair of eyes turned to her in unison—some mocking, some disgusted, some amused, and a few pitying.
Somehow, the girl who sat in front of her had switched seats with a boy and was now sitting far, far away. She stared at Liang Sheng too, her eyes filled with utter revulsion, as if she were gazing at a pile of rotting garbage.
What was going on? Liang Sheng wanted to ask, though she already knew the answer. She said nothing, walking silently to her seat and sitting down as if she had gone mute.
The class gradually turned away, but whispers rippled through the room.
She clenched her fists tight. Plop—a single tear fell onto her notebook, quickly soaking into the paper and blotting out the ink of an “Yi” character. She had been blind. She hadn’t dared imagine the worst, never dreaming that her white moonlight would spread the news to the entire class.
Haha, serves her right. Liang Sheng’s nails dug into her palms.
If that had been the end of it, Liang Sheng might not have attempted suicide.
But her closest friend in class told her parents, who blabbed to others, and eventually the story reached Zhao Xin, Liang Sheng’s mother.
Liang Sheng came from a single-parent home. She had grown up with her mother, who was her entire world.
Slap! A sharp crack rang out, and Liang Sheng’s right cheek swelled red instantly. Clutching her face, she tumbled to the floor, tears streaming like a string of snapped pearls.
“You still won’t admit it?!” Zhao Xin stood with hands on hips, looming over her like an ant beneath her foot.
“No! I didn’t!” Liang Sheng lied.
Zhao Xin’s hands trembled with rage. She fished out her phone, opened it, and shoved a screenshot from a friend under Liang Sheng’s nose.
Boom! Liang Sheng’s thoughts and senses shattered completely. She snatched the phone, babbling incoherently, “Who—who told you? Who?!”
“So you admit it!” Zhao Xin’s face twisted in fury, staring at her with utter disappointment.
Liang Sheng knew she could hide it no longer. She wiped the tears from her face, lifted her head, and declared firmly, “Yes!”
“You—you—you!” Zhao Xin looked ready to faint from anger, huffing and puffing as she raised her hand and brought it down again.
“Useless! Burden! Twisted pervert!” Zhao Xin’s expression grew more hideous with every word, her slaps raining down relentlessly.
Liang Sheng could have fought back, but she couldn’t. This was her mother. She curled up on the floor, arms wrapped tight around her head, letting the blows land.
Was it really so wrong to like someone?
The next day, Liang Sheng arrived at school with her face still swollen.
The moment she stepped into the classroom, the lively chatter died instantly. Everyone stared at her. If a pin had dropped then, it would have echoed like thunder.
The silence was total, suffocating.
Liang Sheng felt like a fish flung onto dry land, gasping for air.
Then whispers started from the back, followed by a boy who suddenly let out a “pfft” of laughter. Laughter was contagious. In an instant, the classroom erupted in thunderous guffaws.
Are they… laughing at me? Liang Sheng’s vision darkened, her body went light, and she collapsed.
She woke in the hospital, alone. The room was empty, stark white and lifeless, oppressively pale everywhere.
Liang Sheng looked down at her hands gripping the bedsheet tight. “Mmm… mmm… mmm.” She was crying, but she didn’t dare cry out loud. She feared being overheard, feared being called dramatic. She bit down on her arm to stifle the sobs. Her mouth filled with the metallic tang of blood—she had bitten through the skin.
If only… if only she were normal.
Footsteps sounded outside. Several classmates entered the room. The girls hung back at a distance, while the boys crowded close to her bed.
Liang Sheng wiped her tears and turned her head away, refusing to look at them.
After a long silence, one boy spoke up. “Liang Sheng, honestly, we’re not disgusted or mocking you or anything. We just don’t want to see you like this… so fallen. There are so many boys around—why go and like a girl?”
Liang Sheng stayed silent, mute as stone.
A girl piped up timidly. “Liang… Liang Sheng, if you get better, we can still be friends. Everyone makes mistakes in life.”
Those words opened the floodgates. Classmates crowded around, chattering over each other with advice for Liang Sheng.
She cried again. Maybe… maybe she really was wrong. If she could just stop liking girls, could she start over? Wipe the slate clean?
Seeing her tears, they exchanged glances. One girl boldly patted her shoulder, then the group slipped out quietly, easing the door shut behind them.
Everyone was being so kind… Could she really keep holding on to her true feelings? Liang Sheng stared blankly out the window.
A little sparrow flitted about outside, chirping freely. She felt even less free than that bird. If she had to describe herself, she was like a goldfinch trapped in a cage.
Click. The door opened again. Zhao Xin strode straight to the bedside, her voice weary and tinged with regret.
“Daughter, it’s not that Mom doesn’t understand you. It’s that you’re truly wrong. Why would you do something so disgusting as liking other girls?”
