Chapter 97: A Touch of Sourness Part 3

So Su Mi waited until midnight.

Suddenly, she heard the System automatically announce: “Ding! Blackening Value -10. Current Blackening Value: 15. Task completion is right around the corner! Host, keep pushing!”

It rang like an alarm bell, jolting Su Mi out of her stupor.

This time… this time.

Midnight.

Who had resolved Shen Han’s Blackening Value issue? Who could affect Shen Han’s Blackening Value?

Su Mi didn’t even need to think of the answer.

There were no new messages on her Light Brain.

Su Mi glanced around at the room’s decorations and the potted plants outside.

Now, without Shen Han’s care, those plants were in a world of hurt compared to before—wilted and limp, as if they’d wither any second.

And here she sat, perhaps on the verge of becoming one of those flowers, withering away in wait.

Would it come to that? She didn’t want it to.

Su Mi bit her lip, thinking: In the end, it was just being abandoned, not chosen. She’d come alone anyway, and she’d leave alone too. She shouldn’t be afraid.

Though it would hurt a lot.

In her emptiness, Su Mi knew she was hurting.

All those past self-brainwashing mantras, the ideas that she could live well even without being chosen… they all failed her now.

Because the problem wasn’t about being chosen or abandoned, about support or not.

Not about actions, not about the relationship.

It was just Shen Han—because of her, Su Mi hurt.

Su Mi lamented her own excessive slowness, but finally realized her own… perhaps more than just liking… feelings.

After showering and lying in bed, Su Mi couldn’t sleep at all. She stared at the ceiling with wide eyes, thinking that actually, she was willing to wait.

Fool herself a little, be more obedient, block out the parts of the relationship that hurt, as long as some part of the other person remained, pretending and moving forward might be fine.

But maybe Shen Han didn’t want that, and her persistence would just end up embarrassing.

Su Mi muddled through her thoughts alone in the deep night, her mind a chaotic mess.

Suddenly, she heard a sound outside the door.

It was already one in the morning. Shen Han finally returned late, tiptoeing past Su Mi’s door.

The footsteps suddenly stopped.

Su Mi held her breath. Just as she closed her eyes, she heard a soft “click.”

Shen Han opened the door and walked in.

With the late dew, Shen Han carried a chill on her, along with a faint, indefinable floral scent.

Su Mi didn’t dare think if it was someone else’s pheromones. She just squeezed her eyes shut tight, ears attuned as Shen Han quietly entered the room and stopped by her bed.

The faint rustle of fabric—Shen Han seemed to lean over the edge of the bed.

An unmistakable gaze lingered on Su Mi’s face.

Su Mi’s heart pounded like a drum.

Why was Shen Han… looking at her?

She didn’t know how much time passed; Su Mi was so tense she couldn’t even count her heartbeats.

Suddenly, a cool touch slowly crept onto the palm of her hand.

It was Shen Han, leaning by the bed, gently taking her hand.

She lifted it to her lips, and the brushing sensation of the kiss fluttered by like butterfly wings.

From those touching lips came a murmur so faint it seemed illusory, dissipating into the air.

It was Shen Han whispering softly, “I’m sorry.”

Su Mi’s heart plummeted.

The light from the hallway outside was blocked, and shallow breaths drew closer as Shen Han leaned in toward her.

Cool breath like the night air ghosted lightly over Su Mi’s cheek.

As if heralding an impending kiss.

Where would it land? Earlobe? Cheek? Corner of the mouth?

Why a kiss after “I’m sorry”?

Out of guilt? Like those who betray and return home, deliberately acting sweet to assuage their guilt?

Su Mi abruptly opened her eyes.

And locked gazes directly with Shen Han right in front of her.

Shen Han paused slightly, then smiled at her, pulling back a bit to sit on the edge of the bed. She asked, “You’re not asleep?”

Su Mi pressed her lips together and said nothing.

“Mama Zhang said you asked about me at dinner,” Shen Han lowered her eyes, holding Su Mi’s hand—only for Su Mi to pull away. She froze for a moment before saying, “I think you missed me, so I couldn’t help coming in to check on you. Did I disturb you?”

Su Mi said stiffly, “It’s fine.”

Her tone was somewhat cold and hard, easy for Shen Han to detect the emotion in it. Clearly not understanding, Shen Han chuckled lightly, “Looks like I woke you up. Throwing a little bedtime tantrum?”

She looked at Su Mi, her lips curving up in what seemed like a very good mood. Her slender fingers reached toward the top of Su Mi’s head, wanting to smooth the little dog’s hair and coax her to sleep. “As compensation, how about I sleep with you tonight?”

Su Mi froze for a moment, then shrank back into the covers, dodging away.

Seeing Shen Han in such a good mood only made Su Mi’s heart waver even more.

She had just been thinking she could deceive herself a little longer, but when Shen Han’s touch—representing intimacy—drew near, Su Mi immediately put up her defenses.

The meaning in her eyes was obvious. She looked at Shen Han warily and said, “No need.”

Shen Han paused.

She furrowed her brows slightly and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Su Mi. Her thin lips parted, but she didn’t know what to say.

After a long moment, Shen Han seemed to have figured it out. She apologized seriously, “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been too busy lately… My mind has been a mess too, but it’s almost resolved now. This kind of thing won’t happen again. Get some good sleep. You don’t have class tomorrow morning, so I’ll take you out to clear your mind. We can talk then, okay?”

She curved her lips and coaxed softly, “Didn’t you say you wanted to visit that temple? Let’s go to the one on the mountain. How about it?”

Su Mi: “…”

She pursed her lips, her attention focused on the words “resolved” and “talk” that Shen Han had said.

It was like a death sentence had suddenly been pronounced right in front of her.

In the silence of her breathing, Su Mi caught a whiff of an unfamiliar scent in the air. Suddenly, she remembered that day when she had gone to Shen Han’s company and hugged her—she had smelled this exact fragrance on her then.

At the time, she hadn’t thought much of it.

When they had first started, because of her own timidity, their relationship had been ambiguous and unclear.

Now, for it to end just as unclearly felt all the more reasonable.

Su Mi didn’t want to hear the plain truth from Shen Han’s mouth—words like she no longer liked her or regretted it.

Just imagining it, that pain surpassed any punishment.

A sour ache filled Su Mi’s heart. Abruptly, she spoke up. “No need. I’m moving out tomorrow.”

…

Shen Han froze in place.

She almost thought she’d misheard. Her beautiful eyelashes fluttered lightly under the dim light, revealing a fragile, puzzled expression.

In a very soft voice, Shen Han asked, “What?”

That single sentence had already used up all of Su Mi’s courage. Su Mi took a shallow breath and said stiffly, “You know what I mean by moving out.”

Shen Han said, “…I don’t know.”

She lowered her eyes, her lashes trembling as they hid the ice-blue depths of her gaze, where something seemed on the verge of melting away. In a low voice that sounded almost like a plea, she said, “Can you say it more clearly?”

Su Mi had already used up all her courage and didn’t know how to continue.

“…”

Faced with Su Mi’s silence, Shen Han felt like she was dying.

A sense that she was dying.

The self she had suppressed, sorted out, and organized.

Strange cells churned in her bloodstream, clamoring: See? Your so-called completeness and self-consistency, your so-called complete and total love—for others, it’s just terror. You shouldn’t even recall those things. A young girl like Su Mi would only yearn for a gentle, perfect older lover.

She must have been scared. Fu Shixing knew about her family matters, and she was Su Mi’s first love. Su Mi had only been trying things out with her—it couldn’t even be called liking. From the start, the one Su Mi liked was Fu Shixing.

Add in the fear of her family affairs, and it was only natural that she wouldn’t want to continue being with her.

The Sword of Damocles that had been hanging over Shen Han’s head all this time finally fell.

If only Fu Shixing didn’t exist.

Shen Han lowered her eyes, thinking dispiritedly. From Su Mi moving out to her rebuilding her relationship with Fu Shixing, that time gap would give her enough space to do many things.

It wouldn’t be hard. Once Fu Shixing was out of the picture, even if Su Mi was unwilling, she could be confined. It wouldn’t hurt her, but it would make her mind focus only on her—that was the eternal lesson her mother had taught her through practice.

She would be obedient, continue being her little dog, hugging her tightly. Being a Beta was fine too. Anything was fine, as long as it was her.

Shen Han seemed to see bright red blood flowing before her eyes—her father’s, her mother’s, carrying twisted, betraying, selfish love.

That blood flowed to her feet, winding upward, thick and sickly, sealing her mouth and nose, pouring into her brain, clinging to every strand of mental power, whispering densely…

Whispering what?

A sharp pain throbbed in her head. Shen Han thought: There is no unique love.

From the very beginning—her father’s embrace, her mother’s affection, or even Su Mi’s liking—they… didn’t exist.

She had never possessed it, nor had it ever come to her.

Her vision was filled with crimson, like a sea that would drown her, and she had no driftwood.

Shen Han parted her lips mutely.

It felt like a long time had passed before she heard her own voice—still calm and composed, as if from a great distance away. “Stay until next Sunday. You have classes these next few days, and it wouldn’t be convenient to move out suddenly. The weekend is Old Madam’s birthday banquet. She hopes you’ll come—she’s been talking about it for a long time. After that… we’ll discuss this matter.”

In her vision, Su Mi sniffled, a very cute motion. Her mouth was pursed tight, and she didn’t want to say another word to her.

Shen Han thought: Fine then. If she stayed any longer, she might not be able to hold back from doing something excessive.

For now, she would leave. Later… start over…

She would make Su Mi see that Fu Shixing wasn’t someone worth entrusting herself to.

She would also make Su Mi see that the matters in her family wouldn’t affect them at all.

But if her heart wasn’t here with her, what was the point of doing anything? From the beginning, Su Mi hadn’t belonged to her.

—She couldn’t think about it anymore.

Shen Han stood up, pressing down on her wrist and exhaling softly.

In the dim room, she glanced at the bed and said softly, “Then I’ll go first. Good night.”

She closed the door and stood in front of it. Light spilled down from above, and her gaze fell on her own shadow.

Shen Han judged her earlier behavior.

Restrained and polite. No clinging, no madness. She was different from her mother.

She absolutely would not end up like that.