It’s just dating. Is there any need to be so excited? Tang Feiwan naturally didn’t connect the “Officer Jiang” Lu Yuqing was talking about to Jiang Mu. After all, Jiang was a common surname, and she didn’t know if they were male or female. However, what happened next left her dumbfounded.
As Lu Yuqing spoke, she came in from outside and only then noticed Tang Feiwan in the office. She greeted her and sat down in the chair across from Lin Ye, resting her chin in her hands, waiting for a response.
“Simping,” Lin Ye said without looking up, but her lips curved slightly, her clear eyes tinged with amusement. She was clearly delighted from the bottom of her heart by her friend’s once-in-a-blue-moon display of emotion. She and Lu Yuqing had known each other for 16 years, from the tender, naive age of 18 to now, when both could stand on their own. They had been through a lot. Lu Yuqing was blunt and strong-willed. In her youth, she had no time for love due to heavy studies. After work, she found fault with everyone, thinking they were all jerks. She went on three blind dates and scared each one off after just a few exchanges.
“I’m busy with work and won’t cling to you like other girls. Can you accept that?”
“If I’m busy, you should take the initiative to do housework. Can you accept that?”
“When we have a child, they’ll take my surname. Can you accept that?”
“Oh, I can help with the kid’s homework, but you’ll have to do more in daily life. Can you accept that?”
Lu Yuqing had shown her the chat logs and complained, “Look at what they said. They like kids and want two, three even. Do they think giving birth is like laying eggs? Every holiday we’d go to his family. Do I not have my own relatives?”
So her friend of many years had stayed single until now. Finally, she had taken the initiative to get to know someone. Though she claimed she wasn’t in love, Lin Ye felt Lu Yuqing was getting emotionally invested. Still, considering their original intentions, she wanted to remind her: what if Jiang Mu wasn’t looking for that?
She didn’t want Lu Yuqing to give her heart and end up with nothing. She sent a WeChat message: “Getting serious?”
Lu Yuqing looked at Lin Ye. Why won’t she just talk face-to-face instead of beating around the bush over WeChat? Then she realized Lin Ye was protecting her privacy. She sent back a string of ellipses, then, eyes glinting, said aloud, “Not serious. But who doesn’t like being cared for?”
Lin Ye was skeptical. “Really?”
“Though it’s strange. Jiang Mu is willing to be good to me, but when I try to reciprocate, she refuses. She always says she’s on duty.” Lu Yuqing tapped her fingers on the desk, giving an example. “For instance, she’ll order me takeout, but won’t let me order for her. Always says she’s on patrol.”
Jiang Mu? Same name? Her computer already shut off and ready to go home, Tang Feiwan normally had no interest in gossip. But when the subject involved Lu Yuqing and someone who shared the same name and job as her distant relative, she wanted a taste of the gossip. She reached for a patient’s chart and pretended to work.
Lin Ye offered her analysis. “She gives without asking for anything? Maybe she’s shy?”
Lu Yuqing shrugged. “No idea.” Just as she finished, there was a soft knock on the office door. It was Jiang Mu. At 171 cm tall, she would let her pinned-up long hair down after work. Without her baseball cap today, she looked slightly older than her actual age.
“I heard from your colleagues you were in Doctor Lin’s office, so I came over.”
“Why did you buy milk tea again? Isn’t it a waste of money?” Lu Yuqing complained, but she was already standing and walking toward her.
“Sugar-free.” Jiang Mu handed her the milk tea, then gave one to Lin Ye. “Doctor Lin, I didn’t know your taste, so I got you fruit tea.”
“Thank you, Officer Jiang.” Lin Ye accepted.
Jiang Mu turned to Tang Feiwan and placed the last milk tea on her desk. “Tangtang, mango pomelo sago okay?” Jiang Mu called her by her nickname. It was Jiang Junli’s suggestion, saying calling her by name was too formal.
So she finally noticed me, the bystander. Tang Feiwan quickly suppressed her surprised expression and forced a smile. “It’s fine. Thanks.” The gossip was too shocking to digest, so she stayed silent as Jiang Mu said, “I wanted to treat your family to dinner, but Third Sister said since you and I are close in age, we should have plenty to talk about, so they won’t intrude.” Jiang Junli was the third child, so Jiang Mu called her Third Sister.
Tang Feiwan quickly said, “No need to spend money. Mango pomelo sago is enough.” The two families rarely interacted, so she and Jiang Mu weren’t familiar. Besides, after that dinner, they hadn’t contacted each other again. A one-on-one dinner would actually be awkward.
Though she knew Jiang Mu was only doing this out of politeness, and courtesy called for a gesture in return.
Jiang Mu said, “How much does mango pomelo sago even cost?”
Lu Yuqing chimed in, “Doctor Tang, listen to your elders.”
…
Tang Feiwan suddenly regretted being nosy. If she’d left earlier, she wouldn’t be in this situation. She glanced left and caught the slight smile on Lin Ye’s face at her discomfort. Why is she smiling? Is it because Lu Yuqing is teasing me?
As she pondered Lin Ye’s thoughts, Tang Feiwan decided to test her guess. She agreed, “Okay then, thank you, Little Aunt.”
Sure enough, she saw the smile on Lin Ye’s lips deepen.
Fine. If it makes you smile, let them tease me.
Lu Yuqing and Jiang Mu chatted for a bit, then reluctantly went back to work. Jiang Mu left the office. The moment they were gone, Tang Feiwan said goodbye to Lin Ye. She was starving and planned to go home and cook the corn and pork dumplings Tang Anhua had made.
Mid-August. The weather was still scorching. When still, you couldn’t feel a breeze. Even on the viaduct, the oncoming wind was warm and heady. Perhaps because she’d just been on the receiving end of a public display of affection, Tang Feiwan felt stifled, her mind full of sweet memories of her and Lin Ye.
Yet reality was the exact opposite. Outside of work, their lives seemed to have no intersection. Even at their twice-a-week gym sessions, she hadn’t run into Lin Ye.
Is she deliberately avoiding me? Tang Feiwan had asked the fitness coach yesterday. The coach said she was busy. Mm, busy. So busy she hadn’t shown up once in half a month.
The streetscape rushed backward. Tonight, she rode faster than usual, hugging the speed limit. Before 8 p.m., she turned into the alley at the north gate of Shujiang University. With more pedestrians near the university, she slowed down and finally, inexplicably, stopped in front of a convenience store. She came out carrying four bottles of beer.
Tang Feiwan rarely drank and had a low tolerance. Four bottles was her limit. Beer with dumplings—she’d drink up, then fall straight asleep. Hopefully, she’d forget her troubles and tomorrow would be a new start. She got home, closed the door, and Tomato greeted her eagerly, wagging his tail and rubbing against her legs.
Woof! Woof! Woof!
“Teacher Tang already took you out today. Now be good and go sleep.” Tang Feiwan changed her shoes, dragged her tired body through the dining area into the living room, and picked up the remote to turn on the AC.
After 8 p.m., you shouldn’t overeat. Eating until half-full was best. So Tang Feiwan dropped five dumplings into the pot. After the water boiled for seven minutes, she scooped them into a ceramic bowl, carried it to the living room, and sat on the small stool by the tea table. They said alcohol could soothe sorrow, but why did it make her more awake? A certain person’s smile and frown lingered before her eyes, impossible to shake, haunting her for half an hour. Two bottles of beer down, five dumplings eaten. Tang Feiwan took the third bottle and slowly moved to the balcony.
This was a small space the two old professors had opened up years ago. A semi-enclosed balcony with a solid wood desk on the left and a solid wood tea table in the middle. Tang Feiwan had recently bought a multifunctional tea set, intending to occasionally enjoy some tea despite being a coffee drinker. She sat cross-legged on the sandalwood armchair by the tea table, tilting the beer bottle and chugging.
So bitter. Tang Feiwan frowned and reached to open the drawer of the desk on her left, pulling out several letters. Back then, after receiving the four letters from Lin Ye, she had been full of regret. She’d tried calling to reconcile, only to find the number disconnected. Her QQ reconciliation request was blocked. She’d changed tactics and written registered letters. Lin Ye had written twelve, and she would write twelve. One by one, she sent them. One by one, they were returned.
The post office staff explained that the recipient’s address had probably changed and she couldn’t be found.
They had completely lost contact.
Tang Feiwan’s hand trembled as she held the envelopes. A thought buried deep in her mind surged: Lin Ye was right in front of her, no longer far away. Why not fight? Why not try to tell her how she felt? If she kept standing still, silently watching, they probably wouldn’t even be able to remain colleagues in the same department.
Because in two years at most, she would return to cardiac surgery…
After the third bottle, Tang Feiwan’s heart raced. She grabbed her phone from the floor, opened WeChat, found Lin Ye’s chat, and resolutely typed: “Lin Ye, can I talk to you?” After pressing send, her reddened eyes stayed fixed unblinkingly on the screen. The “typing” indicator appeared and didn’t disappear for a long time.
After a while, just as she was calming down and about to give up, the chat box showed a single word: “Okay.”
