Chapter 39

After several rounds of drinks and food, Jiang Mu noticed the third bottle beside Lin Ye was nearly empty and saw her reaching for a fourth. She quickly stopped her. “Dr. Lin, I’d say your limit is about three bottles. No more.”

“Where did you get three? She has a low tolerance. Back in school, she could handle two bottles. She hasn’t had beer in years. Now it’s one at most.” Lu Yuqing had also put away nearly four bottles. Her face flushed, she glared at Jiang Mu. “Weren’t you the one urging her to drink? Now you’re stopping her?”

“I got carried away, but I know my limits.” Jiang Mu claimed to have an iron tolerance. Six empty bottles sat by her feet, yet her face wasn’t red and her heart rate was normal.

“Lin Ye.” Tang Feiwan sat directly across from Lin Ye, so she couldn’t easily stop her. She could only call her name softly.

Lin Ye looked up, her brows slightly knitted, and met Tang Feiwan’s gaze with hazy eyes.

Tang Feiwan remembered Lin Ye once saying she didn’t like the smell of alcohol and didn’t like drinking, unless she had no choice or unless she had something bottled up. Looking at the drunken woman before her, Tang Feiwan’s chest ached. She didn’t look away and said quietly, “I’ll take you home.”

“What? Who said you could take her?” Lu Yuqing assumed Tang Feiwan planned to use Lin Ye’s drunken state to extract some promise, and her anger flared.

“Boss, the bill.” Jiang Mu cut in.

The proprietress pointed at Tang Feiwan and said with a smile, “She’s already paid.”

“Why did you sneakily pay?” Jiang Mu stood and walked around to Lu Yuqing, pulling back the woman who was about to get up and take Lin Ye. She muttered in her ear, “You’re drunk too. Do you want both of you falling into a ditch? Come home with me.” Then she signaled Tang Feiwan with her eyes.

Lu Yuqing struggled. “You can’t let her take Lin Ye home. I’ll, I’ll call a designated driver.”

“Why not? Aren’t they colleagues? What could happen if she takes a colleague home?” Jiang Mu held her.

Tang Feiwan walked to Lin Ye’s side and said gently, “Leave Yuqing’s car in the lot. My bike is nearby, but riding is definitely not an option. We’ll take a taxi back.”

Lin Ye’s senses were numbed by alcohol. Her ears thrummed with her own heartbeat, so she couldn’t clearly hear her. But she knew dinner was over and everyone was preparing to go home. She braced her right hand on the bench and managed to stand, but her weak legs wouldn’t take a step.

Tang Feiwan reacted quickly and wrapped an arm around Lin Ye’s waist to steady her.

Lin Ye knew who it was. Her back instantly stiffened, and she tried to push away. But tonight, the person beside her seemed stubborn, not letting go, even drawing closer.

“I can’t rest easy letting you find a driver alone.”

The words still weren’t entirely clear, but the phrase “I can’t rest easy” slipped into her heart through her ear. The warmth from the body behind her kept radiating, and her rigid body finally softened a little. Letting her excited nerves take over, she felt as if she had grown even drunker.

The four stumbled out of the open-air food stall. Lu Yuqing was more sober than Lin Ye. Though unsteady, she refused Jiang Mu’s help. But Jiang Mu half pulled and half dragged her in the opposite direction, causing her to shout, “You… Jiang Mu, are you doing this on purpose… mm, mm…”

The night was black as spilled ink. The deep alley had no streetlights. Tang Feiwan knew she couldn’t carry Lin Ye on her back, because it would press on her stomach and make her sicker. She couldn’t carry her in her arms either, because that would only make her dizzier. So she held up her phone in her left hand for light, wrapped her right arm around Lin Ye, and trudged forward.

The person in her arms was nearly limp, lifting her feet with only the barest remaining awareness.

Her beloved was pressed tightly against her, but Tang Feiwan felt no joy. Lin Ye was too thin, thinner and lighter than she had imagined.

“Uncomfortable,” Lin Ye murmured.

“I’ve called a taxi, but cars can’t come into the alley. We have to walk out.” Tang Feiwan said softly.

Lin Ye probably didn’t absorb it and kept mumbling.

It was nearly midnight, and pharmacies were closed, so Tang Feiwan’s idea of buying glucose had to be abandoned. The five-minute walk took them nearly fifteen. The driver waiting at the entrance said impatiently, “If you hadn’t come out by now, I was going to cancel the order.”

“Sorry, my friend is drunk.” Tang Feiwan used her left hand to protect Lin Ye’s head as she carefully eased her into the car, then went around and got in the other side.

“North Gate of Shujiang University, thank you.”

The car pulled away and drove farther, until the Shujiang landmarks near the pickup point blurred in the distance. Shujiang Binjiang Road was often the last part of the city to sleep. Orange streetlights linked into lines and wove into a net, their warm glow lighting half the sky.

Tang Feiwan had no attention to spare for the view. Her whole heart was with the woman on her right. She saw Lin Ye restlessly tugging at the button near her neck and asked softly, “Are you hot?”

Lin Ye ignored her. Her usually clear, poetic eyes were clouded with mist, tinged with sorrow.

Tang Feiwan raised her voice. “Driver, please turn on the air conditioning.”

“Why would you want AC in October? Can’t I just open a window?” The driver was even more impatient.

“Drinking and wind will worsen intoxication and cause headaches.” Tang Feiwan explained patiently.

The driver grumbled but turned on the AC.

Tang Feiwan noted the details. “Driver, low, just the first setting. No need for the second.”

“Naggy.” The driver adjusted it.

“Better?” Tang Feiwan turned her head and looked at Lin Ye. She was still unfastening the first button of her cardigan, her head tilted to one side.

When the car crossed a speed bump without slowing, the vehicle jolted. Lin Ye’s head nearly hit the car door. Tang Feiwan was quicker, reaching out to shield her. She didn’t dare let go after that. Adjusting her position, she gently wrapped an arm around Lin Ye’s shoulders and let her lean against her.

Time passed, and they finally arrived. Tang Feiwan helped Lin Ye out of the taxi and with great effort got her from the first floor to the third.

“Lin Ye, where are your keys?”

The person in her arms didn’t respond, still muttering something.

Tang Feiwan couldn’t find the keys in Lin Ye’s handbag and didn’t want to disturb Lin Wenhui late at night. So she turned around and helped the woman toward the opposite apartment, leaning Lin Ye’s head against her shoulder. She reached into the side pocket of her backpack for the keys. Lin Ye’s warm breath fanned across her neck, and she seemed to sigh, “Tang…”

In the past, when Lin Ye wasn’t using her nickname, she often liked to call just one syllable, drawing it out in a lazy voice. The sound struck Tang Feiwan’s heart and made her gaze on Lin Ye’s profile tremble.

“Do you know, the desire to share is the highest form of romance. But sharing without response is the lowest form of asking for love.” The words seemed to float in the air. Perhaps the speaker didn’t even know she was leaning against the person she had always wanted to talk to. Lin Ye had said these words in dreams countless times. Unfortunately, in her dreams, the response had always been deepening coldness.

Tang Feiwan’s eyes stung and her breathing grew heavy. “Lin Ye.”

“We could talk about work, about daily life, about the little things, about each other’s worries…”

Tang Feiwan clearly saw the cool tears sliding down Lin Ye’s cheeks. Her heart ached beyond measure. Her hand paused in mid-reach for the keys. She reached out and held the woman tightly, as if embracing a precious treasure that had been lost and found.

“I’m sorry. I know I was wrong…” Expecting Lin Ye to say more, Tang Feiwan waited, but no sound came. She couldn’t help lifting a hand and using her fingertips to wipe away Lin Ye’s tears.

The night deepened. Cold wind pressed in from all sides. Tang Feiwan gathered Lin Ye’s hands, which had grown colder in her drunken state, and reason returned. She pressed her lips into a line, took out her keys, and opened the door. She pushed the door open with her foot and, without changing shoes, guided the woman straight to the bedroom. She laid Lin Ye carefully on the bed, removed her shoes, spread the blanket, and tucked it around her.

Tang Feiwan turned on the small nightlight beside the bed and stayed at Lin Ye’s side. Only when the deeply frowning woman gradually relaxed and her breathing evened did Tang Feiwan leave the room and return with a basin of warm water from the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she wrung out a washcloth and gently wiped Lin Ye’s hands and face, cleaning away the tears on her lashes.

As the water cooled, Tang Feiwan still couldn’t stop gazing at the sleeping woman, who looked far from peaceful. After a long while, rain began to fall outside, a soft patter that disturbed sleep. Finally, Tang Feiwan switched off the nightlight. Her wet eyes rested on Lin Ye’s sleeping face, and her voice was tender and lingering. “Good night.”

In the apartment building opposite the food stall, Jiang Mu pushed open the security door, brought Lu Yuqing inside, and only then let go.

“Jiang Mu, what exactly were you doing tonight?” Lu Yuqing shouted hoarsely.

Jiang Mu laid it out. “Dr. Lu, Tangtang isn’t as bad as you think. I believe she’s the person who most wants Dr. Lin to be happy, and the person who most wants to give Dr. Lin happiness.”

Lu Yuqing gave a cold laugh. “Happiness? Do you know what Tang Feiwan did?”

“She gave her the silent treatment.” Jiang Mu looked into Lu Yuqing’s eyes. “But I think she never stopped loving Dr. Lin. She just didn’t know how to love Dr. Lin after they were separated. They lacked communication.”

“You know Lin Ye’s mother died five years ago, right?” Lu Yuqing asked through her anger.

“Yes.” A while back, when Tang Feiwan had called Lu Yuqing, Jiang Mu had happened to be right there.

“Then do you know that on that very night, in her most helpless moment, Lin Ye called Tang Feiwan?”

Jiang Mu shook her head.

Lu Yuqing said, each word deliberate, “Tang Feiwan said she had school matters. Before Lin Ye could even tell her what had happened, the call was hung up.”

“Maybe she really did have something?” Jiang Mu didn’t think Tang Feiwan was the type to lie.

Lu Yuqing scoffed. “Something? That day was her friend’s birthday. She played with friends all day and only thought of Lin Ye in the middle of the night.”

“Really?” Jiang Mu found it hard to believe.

“Really?” Lu Yuqing pulled up a screenshot she had saved for five years and showed it to Jiang Mu. “A foreign friend posted on Instagram. The caption was ‘happy hour,’ with three group photos. Ha. Tang Feiwan was happy enough. But Lin Ye?”