Chapter 29 Part 1

The landlord kept asking her why she wanted to move out, and Luo Qingmeng was very honest: 【It’s just that the rent is too high; I can’t really afford it anymore.】

The landlord replied: 【So where are you planning to rent? Is the rent there much lower?】

Luo Qingmeng wasn’t so foolish as to tell the landlord about her new place. If the landlord said it wasn’t great and tried to persuade her to stay, she wouldn’t have a good comeback.

Luo Qingmeng said: 【I’m going back to my hometown.】

The landlord’s typing indicator stayed active for a long time before she responded: 【How about I lower the rent? The main thing is, I won’t be able to come back anytime soon, so the place will just sit empty. It puts my mind at ease if someone reliable is living there.】

This apartment was definitely much better than the one Xiao Tang had helped her find.

Truth be told, Luo Qingmeng didn’t really want to share it with a roommate either… but that place was close to her new spot, and it would work for her move.

Luo Qingmeng replied: 【Sorry, I’m changing jobs, so I can’t rent it. If you want to rent it out, I can try asking around for you, and you can chat with any new tenants.】

That was all she could do.

The landlord said: 【My job transfer is too big; I won’t be back for a year or two. If you don’t mind treating it like your own home, I can charge just a few hundred bucks.】

Luo Qingmeng responded: 【You should find someone nearby to rent it; you’d get even higher rent that way and lighten your own burden. Wouldn’t that be better?】

The landlord went silent for a bit before replying: 【This is a new place, and you’re good at keeping it tidy. I wouldn’t trust just anyone else. I can’t have tenants messing up my newly renovated house.】

Fair enough.

It was pretty frustrating to think about.

In the past, If the landlord had dropped the price this low, Luo Qingmeng would have been tempted. But now… She pursed her lips tightly, typed for a long time—changing from “I’ll think about it” to “Let me consider”—but in the end, she stuck to her guns and sent: “How late into this month can I stay before leaving?”

She had only given early notice about moving out; she still had a lot to handle. She needed to wrap everything up thoroughly over the next week before slowly packing and moving bit by bit.

Xiao Tang had found her a roommate who wasn’t in a rush; they wouldn’t move in until next month. Luo Qingmeng could move in once the landlord’s parents left this month, and the landlord would start collecting rent from then on.

She didn’t chat with the landlord anymore. She stayed quietly in her room. Strangely, she had never felt this way before, but now she suddenly hated to leave the rental.

Maybe it was because Qiu Shuxue had helped add so many things this time, giving it the feel of a real “home.” Or maybe the place was just too beautiful, and she wanted a cozy home like this herself.

She checked her phone. Li An still hadn’t replied. The second-hand marketplace app had piled up with messages from people arranging times to pick up the used items she was selling.

Luo Qingmeng looked at her schedule and figured it would work.

Once everything was sorted, she lay on the bay window with her eyes closed, resting. From the marriage until now, everything had been a chaotic mess. The one thing she could be grateful for was that Li An had tricked her back then, saying they wouldn’t have a wedding banquet for the time being and should just live their lives quietly. She hadn’t told her parents about the marriage, not even her little sister.

She had once felt sad facing the marriage alone, but now she thought it was a blessing she hadn’t said anything. Otherwise, her parents would have criticized her endlessly, saying she was being unreasonable, that this was wrong and that was wrong.

Look at her—she had walked this path firmly on her own.

Luo Qingmeng, you’re amazing!

She lay there quietly.

Her mind wandered over many things. Because she was moving away again, she thought about home; it made her a little sad, but also a little relieved.

It was great that, when no one else cared about her, Luo Qingmeng had always loved herself, always encouraged the version of herself who forged ahead independently across vast distances.

Luo Qingmeng, you had quietly protected that vulnerable “self” of yours, and you had taken such good care of yourself.

She pondered calmly for a while, then thought about that kiss with Qiu Shuxue in the bookstore today. Qiu Shuxue was like she had squeezed into her tattered cardboard box of a life—crowded and unreal, impossible to believe.

If she cast everything aside, it felt like a dream—a clear dream disrupted by summer rain, a wild and indolent empty dream.

Luo Qingmeng wanted to keep dreaming, but reality forced her to wake up. The rain outside grew heavier, and the sky darkened without a trace of light.

She had promised Qiu Shuxue she would come over. Even though she didn’t really feel like it now, she always kept her promises and tried her best to follow through.

Luo Qingmeng took a shower, using fragrant body wash and lotion until she smelled wonderful all over. As she headed out, she wondered if she was dressing up for some important date.

She closed her own door and went to Qiu Shuxue’s. She knocked lightly. In the past, Qiu Shuxue had always coaxed her inside; this was the first time she was knocking proactively in the middle of the night.

A small light was on in the entryway. Luo Qingmeng stood at the door. Qiu Shuxue didn’t seem overly enthusiastic, not as excited as before. A thought flashed through Luo Qingmeng’s mind: Could it be because…? The two of them stared silently at each other, and Qiu Shuxue’s expression was even somber.

Had she come proactively, only for her to lose interest? Did she only like forcing things?

Didn’t that make her seem too easy? Luo Qingmeng fumed inwardly and turned to leave. But just as she touched the door handle, she was pinned against the door.

Qiu Shuxue’s grip was strong, holding her tightly. Qiu Shuxue leaned down and kissed her, biting her lips urgently and messily. Luo Qingmeng tried to push her away, but her hands ended up on Qiu Shuxue’s neck, returning the kiss.

Sensing her response, Qiu Shuxue grew even more excited, as if she wanted to devour her whole. Only when Luo Qingmeng couldn’t bear the pain anymore did she pull back a little, panting as she asked: “You’re being so compliant today. Is this the last time?”

Luo Qingmeng wanted to speak, but another kiss blocked her words. Both “yes” and “no” got stuck in her throat.

Qiu Shuxue tried several times to scoop Luo Qingmeng up, but her weight made it impossible; she ended up bending Luo Qingmeng’s arms and legs instead, making her eyes redden with pain.

Qiu Shuxue’s fingers dug harshly into her shoulders. “You… Sis, won’t you try it with me?”

Luo Qingmeng instantly knew what “try it” meant in this context. Her breathing tightened, and she began struggling to push Qiu Shuxue away. But Qiu Shuxue gripped her shoulders again.

They had never touched on this topic before. Luo Qingmeng’s breathing grew unsteady, her lips starting to swell. Qiu Shuxue said: “Then say something rejecting me. I need to know what I’m doing wrong. We’re clearly so compatible; you like me too.”

Qiu Shuxue’s fingers brushed her skirt hem. Luo Qingmeng knew exactly what she meant, and suddenly she felt so wronged—this wasn’t something she could control.

“What is it? Tell me…” Qiu Shuxue was breathing heavily, pressing her to say it. Luo Qingmeng pursed her lips, her brain short on oxygen; she racked her mind for a rejection and finally said: “Because… because being with you always feels like… like messing around. You’re… you’re not mature.”

Qiu Shuxue’s brows furrowed; she hadn’t expected that answer. She said: “You just can’t think of how to reject me, can you?”

“I can.”

“You think I’m great too, right?” Qiu Shuxue pressed.

Luo Qingmeng’s eyes reddened further. “I don’t.”

Qiu Shuxue’s lips parted as if to speak, then she said: “Do you want to cry?”

“Mind your own business.” Luo Qingmeng avoided her gaze and huffed: “Anyway, I’m just not going to be with you.”

Qiu Shuxue pinched her chin to make her look at her. “If you won’t look me in the eyes, I always feel like you’re lying.”

“So what if I am?” Luo Qingmeng stared at her, and tears fell. She knew herself too well—she enjoyed Qiu Shuxue’s intense pursuit far too much, even when it was rough sometimes. She felt it was worth a bit of pain.

She was sick.

Qiu Shuxue said: “Now you’re crying.”

Luo Qingmeng choked up and said: “By your logic, if we did it and I didn’t like watching you, I’d cry too. Does that mean I don’t want to sleep with you, so you’re forcing me?”

Qiu Shuxue might have gotten angry at her words; she turned her face away sharply. Luo Qingmeng wanted to fight with her—that would prove how mismatched they were. But even with Qiu Shuxue’s face turned away, she still didn’t get mad. “Say whatever you want.”

Luo Qingmeng started getting angry too. She tried to push Qiu Shuxue away, but Qiu Shuxue said: “Have you ever thought about toying with my feelings? Just be with me—even if it’s to get revenge on someone. Even if it’s revenge on me.”

Luo Qingmeng looked at her in shock. She had thought about it, but felt it was wrong and never acted on it. She couldn’t quite explain why it felt wrong.

“Sis… Forget it. That’s exactly why I like you so much.”

Her tone was helpless. Qiu Shuxue lowered her head, her forehead against Luo Qingmeng’s neck, her voice soft and faint: “You always do this, making me think you’re so wonderful. I want to devour you. Why?”

Luo Qingmeng didn’t know either; she thought Qiu Shuxue was exaggerating. But she really liked hearing that exaggeration. She wondered if things might have been different if Qiu Shuxue had met her back in high school.

Choking back sobs, she said: “Do you want to continue or not?”

Qiu Shuxue hummed in affirmation.

Luo Qingmeng went into her study and leaned against the bookshelf.

The night air felt a little cool, and the rain outside was still drifting down. She turned on the small orange lamp on the bookshelf. The room remained quite dark. The study was very spacious—she wasn’t sure if it was just for storing books or for working in as well.