Lychees always made her feel overheated, whether she ate a lot or just a few. Luo Qingmeng felt that Qiu Shuxue was strangely hot, especially the instant her lips touched her—the heat made even her sharp little tongue tremble.
Luo Qingmeng tried to dodge several times, but because Qiu Shuxue was so greedy for more, after Luo Qingmeng fed her a few lychees, and when she said she wanted more, Luo Qingmeng fed her a few strawberries too.
Afterward, they went to the changing room together. Luo Qingmeng was no longer at Qiu Shuxue’s mercy; she actively showed herself off, and if she feared Qiu Shuxue wasn’t satisfied, she would say, “However you like me, Baby, that’s how I’ll be…”
Luo Qingmeng had always thought their two homes were about the same size before, but now that she had checked in at every room in Qiu Shuxue’s house, she discovered that Qiu Shuxue’s home was truly huge.
Luo Qingmeng couldn’t tell if she was tired or sore; she just felt a little out of control with her body. Her eyes lifted lazily to gaze at the mirror in front of her.
She sat in Qiu Shuxue’s lap, lacking the strength to stay put and always sliding down, leaning against her.
Luo Qingmeng kept her eyes closed. She didn’t look at any of this. After holding it in all day, she still couldn’t help but ask her softly.
“Why do you like me?”
Qiu Shuxue wrapped her waist, slowly pressing herself against her body like a cat that hadn’t had its fill yet, acting spoiled with her.
They did nothing else, just lingered like this in warmth, and it felt incredibly good.
Qiu Shuxue didn’t give her a direct answer at first. Instead, she asked her in return, “Do you still think you’re awful, that you have nothing going for you?”
It might have been a flaw in her personality, but Luo Qingmeng still felt that she hadn’t been great before. She had only started to improve after her divorce. She didn’t really like her former self much, because she thought she had been too good to others and hadn’t loved herself enough back then.
Luo Qingmeng tilted her neck a little and urged her. “Tell me quickly.”
But Qiu Shuxue was still tangling with her. She hooked her neck and kissed her again. Luo Qingmeng wanted to say she was annoying but held back and softened her tone. “Tell me so I can hear if it’s real.”
“Would someone who really likes you date me?”
This time, Luo Qingmeng didn’t flatly refuse. She made a promise. “I’ll think about it.”
Qiu Shuxue kissed her lips hard. Qiu Shuxue acted like she really liked her, clinging to her. As Qiu Shuxue kissed her, Luo Qingmeng, though exhausted, still kissed her back earnestly, which made Qiu Shuxue happy.
Luo Qingmeng still didn’t have full confidence that Qiu Shuxue would truly love her. She was very afraid of parting, afraid of being toyed with.
The feeling Qiu Shuxue gave her was the strongest sense of being loved she’d ever had in her twenty-eight years. She didn’t hate it—in fact, she realized she was showing signs of liking her back.
She rejected it intensely yet cherished it deeply, enjoyed it thoroughly yet feared becoming too immersed. She wanted to ask Qiu Shuxue, “How long will you love me? How long will your feelings last?”
But she couldn’t bring herself to say it.
Luo Qingmeng was glad that Qiu Shuxue had no exes and only liked her. She clumsily thought that if Qiu Shuxue had dated before, she would know the expiration date of this love and wouldn’t be groping in the dark.
Qiu Shuxue said softly, “The first time I saw you was when I went to the bookstore to buy a book. I spotted the recommendation board at the entrance right away and thought the handwriting was really pretty. Then I read the description carefully and found it interesting. Finally, I looked inside and saw you just at the right moment.”
“You were even prettier,” she said softly.
“When?” Luo Qingmeng asked.
Luo Qingmeng mustered a bit of energy and propped her body up slightly. Her lips let out a soft hum before she spoke to her again. “Was it that bit you mentioned in the elevator…?”
“No.”
“You were recommending Liz Climo’s comic You Look Yummy Today. You wrote, ‘Hello, please wait a moment. Are you hungry? I’m Yi Yu, very obedient today too. I won’t mind if you eat me up gently.’ That struck a chord with me. When I saw you, my first thought was that I really wanted to eat you up.
“But I didn’t think much of it at the time. I assumed you were copying a promo phrase from online. I went in, bought the book, and had you scan it for me. You suddenly smiled at me. I didn’t know what you were smiling about, but I just thought you looked so beautiful, so gentle.”
At that moment, she had been standing at the entrance, head lowered as she looked at the recommendation board.
As she gazed at it, she noticed the cashier inside. It was winter, and the bookstore had the heat on. She wore a black sweater with a little bear apron tied around her waist.
In that instant, she felt struck. The sensation was so strange—she wanted to figure out exactly what had hit her. So the next day, she went back again.
Qiu Shuxue looked at the recommendation board first.
The board was promoting Takagi Naoko’s picture book One Day Living Alone. On the third day, it was One Year Living Alone—no, the fifth year? These times, there were no descriptions.
Qiu Shuxue paused outside and watched the cashier inside. Her hair was twisted into a bun, and she quietly went about her own business. Qiu Shuxue couldn’t help stepping back a little, wanting to see her more clearly.
Graduated at twenty-two, started working, living alone for five years. Was this the five years of solitary life for the twenty-seven-year-old bookstore cashier?
She was very curious and wanted to investigate.
This curiosity wasn’t about the books themselves but about this person’s life. The person inside was playing a magical little game with her through that recommendation board.
Qiu Shuxue was hooked.
She went in and bought all the books that had been recommended over those few days. The moment the clerk saw her again, she smiled immediately. At first, Qiu Shuxue had only thought she was pretty and gentle, but up close, she discovered her eyes were beautiful too.
In those light-colored pupils was a reflection of her. Then, Luo Qingmeng adjusted the order of the books. “You should read them like this… if you like reading comics…”
Qiu Shuxue almost blurted out, “I don’t like reading comics. I like looking at you.”
Since she hadn’t said anything, Luo Qingmeng didn’t continue recommending. She just stated the total amount and asked her again, “Would you like to sign up for a membership? There’s a discount.”
Qiu Shuxue still didn’t speak. Luo Qingmeng pursed her lips and didn’t push the membership anymore. She packed up the books and then gave her a few cute bubble stickers as a gift.
“Welcome to come again.”
As Qiu Shuxue walked out, she glanced back. Luo Qingmeng hadn’t given bubble stickers to anyone else—only to her. And she had been so curt with her, yet she still gave her kids’ stickers.
Had she been treated like a child?
For that whole week, Qiu Shuxue went there every day after work. She had no intention of buying books; she just wanted to see the recommendation phrases.
Until she recommended a book called Love Letter.
Luo Qingmeng had written a love letter on it very earnestly. Qiu Shuxue didn’t remember the content very clearly—there was no “I love you” between the lines. It seemed to ask how one was doing and mention the weather.
She didn’t know who it was written for, yet it felt like it was written for her.
She remembered the last line.
“No one knows—this kind of thing only has meaning if it’s done in secret.”
It felt like encouragement and incitement.
Or like a warning: I’ve noticed you.
She had just finished reading the last word when the recommendation board was taken down and replaced with the closed sign. Qiu Shuxue didn’t have a photographic memory and could only recall the most striking lines.
The mall was closing too.
Luo Qingmeng came out of the store in her own clothes—a gray coat, a blue scarf, hands stuffed in her pockets, head down as she walked slowly forward. She had just turned twenty-eight then and always carried a strange melancholy, not happy or lively.
She wore black leather boots, and her steps were very slow.
Qiu Shuxue watched like a spectator.
She thought she would be recognized and that the recommendation board was Luo Qingmeng’s warning to her—that line about “doing it in secret” was a hint.
It was only after searching on her phone that she learned it was a classic line from Love Letter. That’s when she began her long period of covert watching—watching her, guessing what she was up to. She became a hoarder and an observer.
The usually aloof Qiu Shuxue was suddenly filled with voyeuristic desire.
She even thought Luo Qingmeng must be a pervert too.
But she had overthought it.
Qiu Shuxue didn’t tell her these little secrets, afraid Luo Qingmeng would call her a pervert. She simply said, “Sister, I fell in love with you at first sight in the bookstore. I never expected you to have a boyfriend who was my coworker. Remember that gathering at Li An’s place? I was the last one to arrive.”
Luo Qingmeng didn’t remember it. That time, Li An had just moved and handed over the keys, so he invited coworkers and friends over for a meal. Luo Qingmeng went to cook for them.
That day, Qiu Shuxue had gone to their bookstore but hadn’t seen Luo Qingmeng. She wandered around, found it boring, but her coworkers urged her to come. They had even sneakily taken a photo of Luo Qingmeng in the group chat.
Everyone curiously asked what this woman saw in Li An.
Qiu Shuxue arrived late. Luo Qingmeng opened the door for her and said, “Let me get that… hello.” Her voice was pleasant too, carrying a cautious friendliness.
Qiu Shuxue was quite annoyed but couldn’t say why.
Most importantly, she saw surprise in Luo Qingmeng’s eyes this time. Luo Qingmeng recognized her. She didn’t speak, but her eyes lit up—different from how she looked at the others.
Qiu Shuxue felt special.
After opening the door, Luo Qingmeng went back to cooking, apron tied on, focused in the kitchen. She was very shy and bashful. She blended into the kitchen, isolated from everyone else—a unique sight all her own.
The way she cooked was too beautiful, too captivating. It was as if she had become someone’s wife.
It was the first time Qiu Shuxue had watched someone else cook, and she began to yearn for a kitchen of her own. Her heart rustled softly, and she couldn’t tell whether it was the leaves of autumn or the snow of winter—she no longer knew the seasons.
That was until she heard Li An’s voice.
Li An said there was nothing proper to offer them and told them to help themselves.
Qiu Shuxue thought to herself: You could always have your wife entertain me.
She had never considered herself crazy or psychologically disturbed. At most, she just looked down on many of the people around her and disliked intimate contact with others. But when she saw Luo Qingmeng, she went wild. She headed into the kitchen, where Luo Qingmeng looked at her in confusion, narrowing her eyes slightly before asking, “Do you want an orange? They’re very sweet.”
And then Luo Qingmeng simply peeled an orange for her.
The orange was very sweet, and she even got a close-up view of Luo Qingmeng’s chest. Luo Qingmeng noticed her gaze and grew embarrassed, her hand moving slightly to cover her chest without realizing it only made her cleavage more pronounced.
As she ate the orange, she thought: If only I could devour her today.
What was annoying was that Li An kept trying to please her by calling her out to play. Luo Qingmeng urged her to go out too, but she was shy about it. After holding back for a while, she spoke to her in a soft, gentle whisper: “I’ll call you when it’s ready. You go ahead and play.”
Only after Qiu Shuxue stepped outside did she realize she’d been bewitched. She sat down on the sofa, right next to Luo Qingmeng’s bag.
The bag was extremely cheap—probably no more than a hundred-yuan at most—and it was stuffed with a book. She asked Li An if she could take a look, figuring that if he hesitated, she could make another trip to the kitchen. But Li An didn’t even bother consulting Luo Qingmeng; he simply picked it up and handed it to her.
It was Iwai Shunji’s Love Letter again.
She flipped to that line: “No one knows—this kind of thing only has meaning if you do it in secret.”
The voice in Qiu Shuxue’s heart kept egging her on. She flipped through it casually and found the pages filled with Luo Qingmeng’s notes. She didn’t bother reading the content itself; she only looked at Luo Qingmeng’s handwriting.
One line read: “So is Itsuki in love with the girl who shares his name, Miss Fujii Itsuki, or with Hiroko Watanabe? Is Hiroko just a stand-in? If he truly loved Fujii Itsuki, why would there be a stand-in? It’s so sad—I want him to love Fujii Itsuki, to love that kind of adolescent romance. And yet it’s so sad—I want to be Fujii Itsuki, so that at least someone has loved me. But it’s so sad—I’m not Fujii Itsuki, and no one has ever loved me.”
She knew Li An didn’t love her.
She knew Li An was only after her personality.
Fluorescent highlighter marked lines on every page, along with her word-for-word annotations. She seemed to be encouraging herself to keep living her life, but in truth, she was lost, desperate to be loved, humbly kneeling in prayer, worshiping without direction.
Please love me, won’t you?
Qiu Shuxue grew terribly excited, her blood boiling. She thought: You’re the one begging me for help.
She desperately wanted to go in, wrap her arms around Luo Qingmeng’s waist, and say: Sister, may I love you?
Right there in the kitchen, kissing and embracing.
And that’s exactly what Qiu Shuxue did. She slipped the book into her own bag, walked up behind Luo Qingmeng, brushed her fingers against Luo Qingmeng’s waist, and said, “Sister Luo… there’s a bit of vegetable leaf on your waist.”
She stood directly behind Luo Qingmeng and hugged her. Luo Qingmeng tensed up but, since she was a woman, didn’t dare suspect anything more. And so Qiu Shuxue embraced the girlfriend who had a boyfriend.
Luo Qingmeng’s voice trembled with nervousness. She didn’t notice Qiu Shuxue’s despicable little scheme and thanked her profusely, smiling at her very gently. “Thank you so much, Shuxue.”
But Qiu Shuxue realized it still wasn’t enough.
That day, she thought of “sex.”
Before, she had only been curious about Luo Qingmeng, wanting to play a game of guessing her life story.
Now, she had fallen head over heels for another woman’s partner at first sight.
Qiu Shuxue wanted to play a more thrilling game.
The game of love as a home invasion robbery.
