Luo Qingmeng hurried down from upstairs, desperate to see Qiu Shuxue. Several elderly aunts were chatting downstairs, while her mother lay on the ground talking with her younger brother. She rushed out and locked eyes with Qiu Shuxue, her chest aching.
Just as Qiu Shuxue was about to speak, Luo Qingmeng turned and went back into the living room to grab some clothes from the next room. She gathered a set of bedsheets and duvet covers, along with the car keys her mother had left on the table.
Qiu Shuxue was still standing by the side door waiting for her, the hair at her temple gently brushing against her eyebrows.
Luo Qingmeng walked over, took her hand, and led her to the outdoor bathroom. She said, “Go take a shower and wash your hair.”
Qiu Shuxue pursed her lips lightly. A few seconds later, she reached out to pinch Luo Qingmeng’s fingers. Luo Qingmeng didn’t shy away from the intimate contact even though there were people everywhere. She led Qiu Shuxue straight inside, adjusted the hot water, and said, “This way it’ll be more comfortable.”
Then she closed the door and sat outside waiting for her to come out.
Luo Qingmeng wiped her face with her hand.
These past few days, she’d been run off her feet. Apart from scarfing down a meal here and there, she hadn’t had time for anything else concerning herself.
Qiu Shuxue emerged from the bathroom, and Luo Qingmeng neatly folded her clothes and tucked them into her own luggage bag. Seeing her like this was like looking into a mirror.
She shouldn’t be covered in mud all over. She lived clean and pristine in the city all by herself.
Luo Qingmeng took the hairdryer and blew her hair dry, her fingers gently threading through the strands. She was as soft and tender as the perfect big sister taking care of her little sibling, making sure everything was neat and tidy. She asked, “Are you hungry?”
Qiu Shuxue glanced toward the living room, where a coffin sat parked, her grandfather’s photo displayed in front of it. She hesitated, but Luo Qingmeng took her hand and turned her back to the living room. Luo Qingmeng headed into the kitchen, where spring rolls had just been fried and the cook was simmering a pot of tremella soup in preparation for tomorrow’s banquet.
Luo Qingmeng borrowed a small portable stove, set up a little pot with hot oil, cracked two eggs into it, then added some rice and fried rice crumbs. She whipped up a simple plate of egg fried rice and brought it to Qiu Shuxue.
The cook came out for a look and saw the impeccably clean Qiu Shuxue. Luo Qingmeng wiped the rim of the bowl and the chopsticks with a paper towel, over and over. Qiu Shuxue sat on a small stool by the door to eat, while Luo Qingmeng stood beside her watching. The cook felt something was off but couldn’t put his finger on it, so he just figured Qiu Shuxue must be some important relative and went back inside.
Qiu Shuxue ate slowly. Luo Qingmeng said very softly, “…You can’t keep showing up like this out of the blue.”
Qiu Shuxue looked up at her, her eyes reddening at the corners.
It was as if she were saying, “Don’t say that; it’ll make me sad.”
But she continued to eat the rice Luo Qingmeng had made, one bite at a time. Luo Qingmeng poured her a cup of hot water.
Luo Qingmeng half-squatted beside her, her eyes welling up with tears in waves. She touched Qiu Shuxue’s knee. If she’d known Qiu Shuxue was coming, she would have brought her nicest, prettiest clothes.
Her fingers gripped the fabric there tightly; it was rough and chafed against her skin.
Qiu Shuxue finished her water and said, “I’m done eating.”
Luo Qingmeng made another trip to the kitchen.
She washed the bowl thoroughly and placed it neatly in the cabinet. When she came back out, Qiu Shuxue fitted the helmet onto Luo Qingmeng’s head and fastened the chin strap for her. She said, “I can only ride a ladies’ scooter, and the road is really bumpy…”
Qiu Shuxue hummed in acknowledgment. “It’s fine.”
Luo Qingmeng wheeled the ladies’ scooter out from the side courtyard, straddled it, and had Qiu Shuxue climb on behind her. Qiu Shuxue wrapped her arms gently around Luo Qingmeng’s waist.
Someone came out and asked her, “Qingmeng, where are you going? It’s getting dark.”
Her mother stopped talking and sat up to look at her, but she only caught sight of Luo Qingmeng’s back. It looked like she was carrying someone, and that person turned to glance back once before wrapping her arms tightly around Luo Qingmeng’s waist. With that, Luo Qingmeng sped off into the distance.
The scooter traveled through the night. Halfway there, Luo Qingmeng opened her mouth to ask something, only to swallow a gulp of summer wind. It felt like a towel was stuffed in her throat—raw and dry.
“I took a private car here,” Qiu Shuxue said.
“Were you scared?”
After asking, Luo Qingmeng’s heart twinged with pain. She never took private cars anywhere herself, because back when she was in school, she’d always heard stories about girls hitchhiking in someone’s private car and vanishing the next day, never to be found no matter how hard they searched.
The adults would grieve for a few days, console themselves, and move on. They wouldn’t make a big fuss searching anyway—just a girl, and they could always have more.
Luo Qingmeng had always been terrified of losing herself like that. She said, “I’m really scared, Shuxue.”
Her voice was thick with congestion. The rush of emotion had passed, and now all she felt was fear. This place wasn’t so great; Shuxue didn’t need to come looking for her. But now that Shuxue had come, what was she supposed to do…
She felt like she’d love Shuxue forever and ever.
Luo Qingmeng said softly, “You don’t need to come find me; I’ll go back anyway. I definitely will.”
Qiu Shuxue reached around and hugged her waist tighter. They pressed even closer together. “I’m scared too… I’m afraid that once you come back, you won’t be able to leave. You never talk about what your home is like, so I figured it must be hell. What if you finally escaped hell, only to get swallowed back up…”
“It won’t happen.”
Luo Qingmeng choked out the words. “No matter what, I’ll go back, because I don’t like it here, and the person I like isn’t here either.”
The last part came out like she’d bitten her tongue. The scooter’s headlight illuminated the bumpy dirt road ahead. Luo Qingmeng felt like she’d tumbled into a dark lair, where dawn wouldn’t come and the sky would stay black forever. But this time, she was carrying the brightest star and moon with her.
No.
Even if summer arrived.
She was still carrying a basket of pristine snow on her back.
Qiu Shuxue told her that she’d flown into Cloud Sea City that very day. After Luo Qingmeng’s message, she’d gone to the bus station to wait, but Luo Qingmeng never showed. She sat there all night, then headed this way. She’d planned to rent a car, but this little place didn’t even have shared rides—nor hotels, for that matter. She’d wandered around the town, and the cars were filthy, covered in dust everywhere.
Finding Luo Qingmeng’s grandmother’s house had been easy; the area was so small that news of a death spread instantly. She’d asked around and found out right away, but the map navigation was inaccurate. Once she arrived and saw Luo Qingmeng rushing around busily, she knew for sure she’d found the right place.
Rather than being lured into the mountains by some creep.
She also said, “Luo Qingmeng, I’ve been here watching you for a long time, and you’re not happy at all. It’s more heartbreaking than your deceased grandfather.”
Luo Qingmeng felt awful hearing that. She said, “Don’t call me by my full name like that; it makes me uncomfortable. Call me sister instead…”
Qiu Shuxue rested her cheek softly against Luo Qingmeng’s back. She didn’t listen. She said, “Sometimes let me be your sister too.”
“Living here must be exhausting, right? You must have used up all your strength just to break free.”
“Yeah, it’s really hard.”
Luo Qingmeng wasn’t particularly clever; her grades had always been average, her work average, her life after flying the coop average too.
Luo Qingmeng reined in her emotions until they reached the town. She found the nicest guesthouse and took Qiu Shuxue upstairs. She changed the bedsheets to the clean ones she’d brought. Qiu Shuxue stood nearby watching her work.
Once everything was tidied up, she walked over, stretched out her arms, and hugged Qiu Shuxue tightly. She drew her hands in, pulling her to sit on the edge of the bed. Luo Qingmeng said softly, “I’ll go back with you tomorrow.”
Qiu Shuxue agreed with a soft sound. She said, “What about the scooter?”
“My mom came to town on my dad’s motorcycle; my parents will take it.”
“Has the funeral ended?”
The burial was scheduled for the morning after tomorrow; there was an important ritual tomorrow. Luo Qingmeng said, “I’m just the granddaughter; during the procession, I’ll be standing at the very back anyway.”
Luo Qingmeng pressed her lips together hard and said, “The people here are all so cold. Everyone’s just going through the motions of a funeral—feeling like they should show up, or they’ll regret it later, thinking they ought to see him off. But no one’s truly grieving.”
She said, “It’s too cold; my little bit of warmth isn’t enough to thaw it.”
Qiu Shuxue understood her. She was gentle, sensitive. Even though she knew her grandfather hadn’t loved her, she’d still come all this way to see him off.
She was so soft-hearted, but others were cold to her.
Qiu Shuxue said, “Then go say goodbye to him. Don’t force yourself to stay and end up with regrets. Later on, you can tell yourself you properly said farewell.”
