She called out to her again. “Luo Qingmeng.”
Luo Qingmeng had always thought her name sounded ugly, but hearing it from Qiu Shuxue’s lips made it beautiful, soft…
“Do whatever you want. I’ll take you away—no rush, no regrets. That way, when you look back later, you can remember that I was the one who took you away.”
“Okay.”
Luo Qingmeng let go. In the narrow space, they gazed at each other. Luo Qingmeng’s eyes grew warm, and she said, “Shuxue. Take a good look. This is the kind of place my family lives. If one day you don’t want me anymore, I’ll probably end up back here—or somewhere even worse. I’ve never been anyone special, so—take a good look and decide if you want to be with me.”
Qiu Shuxue’s fingers brushed her eyes. She was speaking so rationally, yet her eyes were damp at the corners, on the verge of tears again.
Qiu Shuxue said, “I know. I’ve walked this road too. At first, as I walked it, I ached for you. I’ve never suffered like this.”
That was why Luo Qingmeng was so moved.
She said softly, “Shuxue… don’t hurt me.”
Qiu Shuxue said very seriously, “I won’t.”
Luo Qingmeng leaned over and took the initiative to kiss Qiu Shuxue’s thin lips. When they parted, she checked the time on her phone and said, “You should let your family know you’re safe.”
Qiu Shuxue said, “I have no family to report to. Uncle got married early and has his own children.”
Luo Qingmeng was stunned. Then she kissed her lips again. “I know. I know you’re safe.”
The two of them lay on the bed. She took the initiative to hold Qiu Shuxue, her eyes aching and sore, but her hands refused to let go no matter what.
Qiu Shuxue gently hooked her fingers.
“I lied too.”
Qiu Shuxue said, “If you really moved away, I’d cling to you desperately too. All those were just angry words. I’m sorry.”
Luo Qingmeng hummed in acknowledgment. She said, “It’s fine. I didn’t believe them. I’m not angry. If you cling to me, I won’t be angry either.”
Qiu Shuxue’s nose stung, and her eyes reddened slightly.
The next day, she bought breakfast for Qiu Shuxue and wiped the table spotless before letting her eat.
She went back and performed the long farewell ritual, pinching a white candle as she circled the coffin, listening to the Taoist priest recite the elegy, and then giving money to the priest. No one knew why she did it. When Luo Qingmeng was little, she had asked, but the adults didn’t know either. They just said she asked about everything—what was there to ask?
If it was a farewell, then it was a farewell to her own soul.
Luo Qingmeng packed food in an insulated box and went to find Qiu Shuxue. She ate with her and even put sleeve protectors on her. Qiu Shuxue said she didn’t have such severe germaphobia, but Luo Qingmeng just shook her head.
In truth, she could have brought Qiu Shuxue along. Grandma and the others wouldn’t say anything; her family was warm and hospitable. But she didn’t want to bring Qiu Shuxue there. She didn’t want her to experience that indifference—where everyone was a good person, yet no one loved her.
She wanted to hide Qiu Shuxue away.
After a long while, Luo Qingmeng spoke again. She said, “You’re my treasure.”
“So I don’t want them to see you…”
Her voice was very soft. She said, “You’re different from them.”
She was the moon, the stars, the bright pearl.
That was why she wanted to leave with Qiu Shuxue. Qiu Shuxue didn’t belong here. She was the light Luo Qingmeng had found in this drifting city.
That night, mimicking how Qiu Shuxue had once kissed her eyes, she reverently kissed Qiu Shuxue’s eyes.
“Thank you for coming to find me.”
Luo Qingmeng both feared love and longed for it. She read novels and classics, envying those passionate romances, their youthful courage, the way someone would cross a thousand miles for another.
Her own past emotions had been so vacant that even a crush was just a fleeting moment. She pecked her lips gently and said, “Thank you for taking me away. Thank you.”
Tears welled up in Luo Qingmeng’s eyes with a single blink. She raised her hand to wipe them, but they wouldn’t wipe clean. She hadn’t cried at all during the funeral.
Qiu Shuxue reached out and pulled her close, letting her lean on her shoulder. Luo Qingmeng said softly, “You really are my treasure.”
She said earnestly to Qiu Shuxue, “Qiu Shuxue, since you came to find me, I’ll give you a home.”
This was Luo Qingmeng’s way of repaying her. From childhood, she had known that to survive in this society, she needed to thank her parents and teachers. Qiu Shuxue had given her more love than anyone else, so she had to repay it.
She held Qiu Shuxue’s hand gently and said very carefully, “I’ll give you so much love. Even if one day you don’t want it anymore, I won’t regret it when I look back.”
Qiu Shuxue corrected her. “Sister, I won’t ever not want it.”
On the morning of the last day, the eastern sky was turning white, and the mourning music had stopped.
This time, Luo Qingmeng didn’t go down to send them off with everyone. She rode her motorcycle with Qiu Shuxue, following behind all of them—including right behind her parents’ car—all the way to the cemetery for the funeral of someone she wasn’t that close to.
They lowered the coffin into the grave and buried it.
Then they left without looking back.
Qiu Shuxue hugged her tightly from behind. She guessed Luo Qingmeng was crying and said softly, “This place doesn’t deserve your tenderness.”
As Qiu Shuxue spoke, her nose stung, and her heartbroken voice trembled. “Luo Qingmeng, living in a place like this, and still being so gentle… you’re really… wonderful. You’re so good, so amazing.”
Luo Qingmeng listened to that halting voice, scattered by the wind, and for a moment felt like it was herself speaking—like her own heart was striving to encourage her again. Encouraging that self who had always struggled yet felt utterly ordinary.
But the voice wasn’t hers.
It was Qiu Shuxue’s.
Luo Qingmeng had to pull the motorcycle over and wait until her tears stopped flowing before continuing. In the past, she had always feared stopping—afraid she’d accidentally slide back to where she started.
Now, she wasn’t afraid anymore.
She left from the road beside Grandma’s house, getting farther and farther from the cemetery and Grandma’s place.
When she reached the town, she filled up the gas in her mother’s car, then parked it under the new house in the county seat—the house her parents had just bought. She had helped pay off three years of their debt, giving them twenty or thirty thousand each year. Later, her little sister got a room, her little brother got a room. That year, she was twenty-five, and the family felt she should get married. There was no room for her.
She had never gone upstairs to see it even once.
In the past, she had secretly checked her little sister’s and her mother’s Moments, loving to see their backgrounds, piecing together what their home looked like.
Now, she parked the car and left.
Luo Qingmeng booked a private car straight to the airport.
She had handled everything thoughtfully. In the future, she wouldn’t obsess over missing some detail, wouldn’t regret her impulsiveness over and over, and wouldn’t wake up one day realizing their parting still held regrets.
Luo Qingmeng had properly said goodbye to herself.
The city was stuffy and sweltering, several degrees hotter than back there. It wasn’t a place for someone like Qiu Shuxue. She was so fair that everyone getting on and off the vehicles stared at her.
You could tell at a glance: she was someone who had stepped out of a jar of honey. Luo Qingmeng kept holding her fingers tight.
Their fingers intertwined.
As boarding time approached, Luo Qingmeng thought she should introduce Qiu Shuxue to her junior high and high school, but then felt it wasn’t that important. From now on, she would learn many things she liked, continue taking exams to improve her education, and keep moving forward steadily and firmly. If she feared being abandoned, she would just strive to walk ahead.
Luo Qingmeng set Qiu Shuxue as top contact. Her phone buzzed with many messages coming in; she didn’t have her parents’ WeChat—it was from her little sister.
Little sister: 【You’re gone.】
Luo Qingmeng typed a response but didn’t send it.
Little sister: 【I see you typing. Why aren’t you replying? Did you return Mom’s car?】
【Dad wants you to come home for dinner. How many days of leave do you have?】
Then she sent a voice message: “Sis, come home?”
Counting them up, all the words she’d exchanged with her entire family since coming back home didn’t exceed ten sentences. She wasn’t curious about how they were doing, anticipated others asking about her, yet feared their pointing fingers.
Luo Qingmeng originally wanted to reply, “I’ve met someone I like. I’m not coming back.” But as she was about to send it, she paused. Better not. Let them wonder. From now on, let them always think, “Why did Sis leave?” “Why isn’t Qingmeng coming back?”
Why, why.
Why indeed.
She didn’t want to carry her Qiu Shuxue through such a bumpy funeral procession.
Because.
It was me who ignored you all.
This time, they reached Cloud Sea City in just two hours. Luo Qingmeng had returned home in only four.
She leaned gently against Qiu Shuxue, who held her hand.
Luo Qingmeng smiled and said, “See? I told you I’d come back.”
Qiu Shuxue nodded. As they walked out of the terminal holding hands, Luo Qingmeng said after a long thought, “I have a secret to tell you.”
“Hm?” Qiu Shuxue tilted her head slightly.
Luo Qingmeng took a deep breath and whispered in her ear, “…Actually, I’d noticed you a long time ago. I didn’t dislike you. I was moved by you.”
