Chapter 28: 28

The car shot out of the police academy. The windows and wind half-fought, half-yielded, blowing her hair into disarray. Xue Tong finally lit a cigarette. She hadn’t washed the car in a week, and the front windshield was filthy. She turned on the wipers; washer fluid sprayed out, and her vision went completely blurry.

Xue Tong floored the accelerator, racing towards the next section of road just as a red light came on. After the wipers stopped, calm returned.

She was turning left into a congested side road. A truck was moving slowly ahead. The green wave advisory recommended a speed of 50 kph.

Xue Tong drove 100 mph, swinging the steering wheel, and darted out through a gap between the truck and a small car barely half a car-length wide.

“Collision avoidance alert.”

“Lane departure warning.”

“You are speeding.”

The Aston Martin’s collision avoidance system activated, initiating automatic braking one kilometer behind a Mercedes-Benz ahead. The sports drink tumbled end over end on the passenger seat, unable to withstand the push-back g-force and sudden braking, finally rolling under the seat.

The dopamine in Xue Tong’s brain spiked with the rising speed, then needed to plummet because of the braking. Her hand pressed firmly on the steering wheel, her fingertips twitching slightly from the force of her heartbeat.

Oxytocin, dopamine. The physiological hormones produced in humans during infatuation, and the heartbeat response brought on by accelerating a sports car, were the same.

It was just that…

One relied on mechanical warnings to help brake.

The other relied on physiological self-control to brake.

She clearly remembered the weight pressing down on her shoulders in the corridor that day, the silent stroll along the beach on a stifling summer evening, the girl sitting in her lap, rubbing against her thighs.

The scent and the touch, naked and sincere.

In a daze, Xue Tong recalled the yellow light she had just sped past. She realized that deep down, she didn’t actually want to be a paragon of morality. But even if she didn’t want to be one, she would still brake in time.

Even without the assistive braking just now, she knew she could have stopped.

She rolled up the window, tossed out the cigarette butt, and turned on the car’s external air circulation. She took the hair tie off her wrist.

Twice around was too loose. Three times around was too tight.

Frustrated, she threw the hair tie away too.

She sat in the car waiting for the red light. The feeling of distraction during the afternoon class was unusually vivid. The sense of loss upon hearing that conversation and snapping back to reality… it all related to Lu Shimiao.

Xue Tong realized she was starting to feel towards Lu Shimiao… the kind of emotions that only appear when a mature creature seeks connection. That desire for connection, for touch, for the outstretched hand to be met with a response, frightened her for a moment.

Especially when she realized that Lu Shimiao would have her own 23rd year.

Her mind became extraordinarily clear.

Lu Shimiao would have boys chasing her, would return to Shanghai, would get married and have children, would become a good police officer.

From the perspective of a natural person, her route to school, her grades, her anorexia—none of this should have anything to do with her.

So how could she allow her boundaries to disappear?

The car started moving. Over and over, Xue Tong murmured, “Restrain.”

Restrain. She had used this word countless times in her forensic science class.

Restrain: to limit, to prohibit, to hold back.

She was like a prisoner let out, only to be captured and put back again. She knew she should stay properly inside.

–

Not seeing Xue Tong turn back, Lu Shimiao also found it strange.

She had clearly shouted loud enough, forcefully enough. Even the people walking in front of Instructor Xue had heard her. How could Instructor Xue not have heard?

Forget it, the physical training instructor was calling her police number. Lu Shimiao could only turn around and head to the assembly point to wait for her test.

After Lu Shimiao returned, the instructor gave her a few minutes to prepare. Then the second round of the women’s physical test was signaled to start.

The first five kilometers, Lu Shimiao’s run was relatively easy, but the last five kilometers, she started to flag.

Her mind kept thinking: Don’t embarrass Xue Tong. Don’t embarrass Xue Tong.

Gritting her teeth, holding her breath, she ran to the finish line.

Lu Shimiao took almost fifty minutes for the ten kilometers. This result was average for the police academy—not bottom of the barrel, but not outstanding either.

But most importantly, she hadn’t embarrassed Xue Tong.

Lu Shimiao didn’t bother joining classmates to celebrate the successful completion of the physical test. Wiping her sweat, she ran to the locker room, ready to call Xue Tong.

In a flustered hurry, she opened her locker and took out her phone. Four WhatsApp message notifications from Xue Tong.

“Physical test coming up?”

“Run well. Come find me at the Criminal Instructors’ Office when you’re done.”

“Something came up. No need to come to the office.”

“Can’t drive you back tonight. Take the MTR.”

Lu Shimiao smiled as she clicked them open, then her smile faded.

Oh. Something came up.

So the reason Instructor Xue had been in such a hurry to leave earlier, so hurried she couldn’t be stopped by shouting, was because she had plans tonight…

She remembered the box of medicine she had seen in the trash can last time.

“God!!” Lu Shimiao threw her phone into the locker.

She grabbed a towel and sat on the bench to wipe her sweat. After calming down for a while, she got up and retrieved her phone, typing on WhatsApp:

“The physical test results were average, but I didn’t embarrass you.”

After a moment, unable to resist, she specifically added a concerned reminder: “Please, stay safe!”

Lu Shimiao stared at the WhatsApp chat interface.

Read.

But no reply.

Helplessly, Lu Shimiao threw her phone into the locker, ran to the shower room to bathe, changed clothes, squeezed onto the MTR, and headed back to the Equator.

The whole way, she repeatedly looked at the chat dialog on her social app, hoping a new message would appear below that “Read.”

Alas, nothing.

Oh well. Xue Tong was busy having fun with her boyfriend.

Lu Shimiao put on her earphones and walked back to the Equator with her head hung low the entire way.

Not in the mood to order takeout, not in the mood to memorize vocabulary. Lu Shimiao watched the sunset glow outside the floor-to-ceiling window slowly fade away, then lay on the sofa, watching the moon rise.

She hadn’t failed the physical test.

But she wasn’t the least bit happy.

Beep-beep—

The code lock suddenly chimed.

Lu Shimiao shot up. She didn’t bother with slippers, bumping into the coffee table and sofa legs all the way, swaying in pain but rushing to the door regardless.

“Arsit.”

A man’s voice came through the door first. Lu Shimiao tensed up. She backed up two steps, disappointed yet guarded.

“Wow, you’re sitting in the dark again?” An Lin pushed the door open and called out to the central control panel: “Sam, turn the lights on full!!!”

…

Oh. This man not only had the house code, he also knew Xue Tong’s smart home assistant’s name.

The lights came on, dazzling Lu Shimiao so much she couldn’t open her eyes.

An Lin stood at the doorway holding documents, looking shocked as he stared at the girl standing dumbfounded in the room.

In all these years, this was the first time he had discovered another human being’s existence in this house!!

If he weren’t Xue Tong’s ultimate drinking buddy, and also gay, having brought a drunk Xue Tong home countless times through wind and rain, he probably would never have been able to step into Xue Tong’s home his whole life.

And the girl in front of him, not only was she living here, but she was also wearing Xue Tong’s t-shirt??

An Lin let out an incredulous sigh. Snapping back to reality, he shouted into the room in Cantonese: “Arsit, you’ve been hiding a person in your house??”

Lu Shimiao understood Xue Tong’s nickname, but not the second half of the sentence.

However, judging by the person’s facial expression, he seemed to find her presence somewhat unbelievable. Even his voice sounded like a shriek…

No way.

Could this guy be Xue Tong’s boyfriend?

But if he was her boyfriend, shouldn’t he be with Xue Tong?

“Instructor Xue isn’t home,” Lu Shimiao said, looking at An Lin with great displeasure, her tone cold.

“So you’re the exchange student from the police academy?” An Lin deduced Lu Shimiao’s identity from her Mandarin, remembering how a few days ago Xue Tong had asked him to find equal rights organizations to discuss the discrimination against mainland compatriots. Suddenly, it all clicked.

So Xue Tong had told him about her existence. Lu Shimiao felt even more irritable.

“Yes. But Instructor Xue isn’t here.”

An Lin glanced down at the case files in his hand.

The case files from last week’s anti-triad weapon seizure operation during the typhoon had come through. He had originally come to deliver documents to Xue Tong and see if she wanted to drink. He just hadn’t expected her not to be home… that ultimate homebody, not home??

An Lin had a sense of confidentiality. He shook his head. “No matter.”

“Hmm.” Lu Shimiao just stood blocking the doorway, arms crossed over her chest, not intending to let him in, staring at him intensely.

An Lin felt incredibly uncomfortable under Lu Shimiao’s gaze and could only extend a hand in farewell. “Then I’ll just call her. Bye-bye, kid.”

…

Bye-bye, kid?

Then I’ll just call her?

Lu Shimiao listened to An Lin’s words, her face darkening for a long time as she stood in place. She pulled out her phone and glanced again at the chat with Xue Tong, the message read but unreplied to.

As a police academy kid, she really didn’t have much reason to call Xue Tong.

The man who had suddenly barged into Xue Tong’s house disrupted Lu Shimiao’s thoughts. In a daze, she went to shower, brought her pillow from the bedroom, and obediently lay down on the sofa.

Closing her eyes, her mind was filled with Xue Tong.

Just last night, the instructor had slept on the sofa so she could rest well for the physical test, had specifically made her breakfast this morning. Yet before night even fell, she had gone completely silent.

Women are fickle, that saying is absolutely right.

She turned over.

But why was Xue Tong ignoring her? Why did she like a man like that? What right did that man have to call her a kid?

…

Lu Shimiao huddled on the sofa, unable to sleep. She opened her eyes and glanced at her phone.

2:00 AM.

Xue Tong still wasn’t back.

She checked again. 2:30 AM.

Yeah, Xue Tong wasn’t coming home tonight…

2:40 AM. 3:00 AM.

The door finally beeped twice at 4:15 AM.

Lu Shimiao jolted awake from her light sleep, sitting up on the sofa.

“Alright, I’m off.”

An Lin stood in the corridor, maintaining a polite distance, watching Xue Tong open her own door. His family had taught him gentlemanly etiquette since childhood. Even though he was gay, he still had to see a drunk lady safely home.

Xue Tong leaned against the wall, waving her hand, her tone already showing impatience. “You’re so annoying!”

The night always amplifies many sounds.

Lu Shimiao sat silently on the sofa. She clearly heard the conversation between the two at the door. Just two or three words of Cantonese. She could understand them, yet for the first time, she longed not to.

Through the light from the corridor, she saw Xue Tong’s unsteady body. The AC draft carried the smell of alcohol from her, surging right before her eyes. The scent was strong, very heavy.

Lu Shimiao knew Xue Tong had been drinking, yet she couldn’t get up to greet her. Her hands gripped the edge of the sofa as she just waited dryly.

Because she wasn’t sure if the man at the door would escort Xue Tong inside. If he really did bring her in, how should she casually lie down and pretend nothing had happened at all?

Catching shadows, following faint traces—in this moment, they seemed to echo back at her.

A vague, indistinct narrowness and sourness crowded into her heart together, invading Lu Shimiao’s thoughts. The emotion wound its way tortuously along her throat and stabbed into her nose, leaving only a sharp, pungent ripple in the air.