Xing Yue’s Silence Was Heartbreaking
She had heard Uncle Li say that phrase hundreds of times.
“The Eldest Miss is only 18. Please give in to her.”
“The Eldest Miss is a very soft-hearted child. She’s just still learning how to express herself. Please give in to her.”
“The day after tomorrow is Qixi Festival. Just give in to the Eldest Miss, won’t you?”
“The Eldest Miss is about to molt. She really needs you. Please don’t give her the cold shoulder. Just give in to her.”
“…”
Xing Yue had heard these kinds of remarks until her ears grew calluses. At first, she really did let things slide again and again, chalking it up to Bu Yao’s young age, as Uncle Li said.
But later, she discovered that yielding once meant there was always a next time. Every excuse imaginable was used; it was as if she were a servant of the Bu family, obliged to obey the Eldest Miss’s every command, serving her from morning to night.
When the car stopped at the intersection, Bai Yulun was still explaining. “Sister Little Yue, after marrying that woman, we’ve always treated each other with cold courtesy. We live our separate lives; we’ve never even cohabited. We only pair up to go back home and deal with family during holidays. We agreed long ago that we’d divorce sooner or later. She and I are just wives in name only. We’re not even friends, just—business partners.”
Xing Yue vaguely sensed that this matter wasn’t as simple as Bai Yulun made it sound. In a standard business relationship, most people were relatively polite, perhaps addressing the other formally as Miss, Madam, or Ma’am.
If they were closer, using their given name or a nickname was normal.
But Bai Yulun kept referring to her as “that woman.” This suggested she’d reached a level of animosity, even hatred. It conflicted with what she claimed was a “business partnership.”
Xing Yue didn’t call her out on it, though. She simply didn’t care.
“President Bai, thank you for bringing me home. Get some rest early.” She gave a slight nod, her smile faint.
Xing Yue stepped onto the small alleyway. The streetlights tonight seemed to be broken. They weren’t lit. The entire winding path lay in pitch darkness.
She used the flashlight on her phone to navigate through the alley. Reaching the ground floor of her building, she glanced back to make sure no one had followed her before stepping into the elevator.
Tonight, Xing Yue had worn five-centimeter heels. That alley walk had tired out her calves. The first thing she did upon arriving home was stop at the shoe rack to change her shoes.
In that brief moment of delay, as she was closing the door, the door frame was caught and held open by a hand.
Jolted, Xing Yue’s heart leapt into her throat. When she clearly recognized the hand, her terror shifted directly into vexation.
“Why did you follow me here?” Xing Yue’s expression was unpleasant, her brows tightly furrowed. “How could the Eldest Miss deign to lower herself to visit this tiny hole of mine?”
This apartment was so small it didn’t even have a living room. Stepping through the door, a turn around the corner led straight to the bed. Walking further in, the little balcony was the kitchen. The bathroom and the bedroom were a single space. There wasn’t even room for a sofa—just a wooden chair. Pathetically cramped.
Bu Yao, clad in her haute couture gown, clashed completely with the tiny single-room apartment. She looked like a princess fallen into a dilapidated, old tiled shack.
The woman swept her gaze around the room, took off the retro-style black lace gloves, and placed them on the table. “I have something to make clear to you.”
Xing Yue thought it over. As adults, a breakup needed a clear resolution. “Fine.”
Bu Yao looked at that chair with visible disdain. Too cramped; it couldn’t accommodate her skirt at all.
In the sparsely furnished room, after scanning her options, Bu Yao finally sat down on Xing Yue’s bed. The expansive, puffy skirt practically blanketed the entire mattress. “Let me ask you—did you or did you not say to He Zhiwen that you wanted to get a room with her?”
Xing Yue had explained this more than once. “I told you already, it was because…”
“Don’t give me any ‘because’! I’m asking you—did you say that sentence or not?” Bu Yao cut directly into Xing Yue’s attempt at justification. Even with touched-up makeup, the reddened rims of her eyes were impossible to hide. Raking up old grievances made her nose sting.
Xing Yue had indeed said that sentence. She had no way to refute it. “Yes.”
Bu Yao asked again: “In my house, did you not promise to keep your distance from other women?”
If Xing Yue denied it, she’d be confirming she used Bu Yao to save her ex-girlfriend. If she admitted it, then she had broken her word to Bu Yao. Either way… it was her fault.
“Say something!” Bu Yao bit out through clenched teeth; every word was ground out from between them.
She interrogated Xing Yue: “Is it true? Did you say those words or not? Did you hint to someone else about getting a room? After I found out, you got angry out of shame and vented your anger on me. When your ex-girlfriend was in danger, you came running back, swallowing your pride to beg me. Once you got what you wanted, you immediately broke up. You’re really good at this game—better than a young girl even. All that anxiety about aging doesn’t slow down your womanizing one bit.”
The piercing words made Xing Yue’s expression freeze. The air flowing between them was filled with cutting blades.
“I never denied my mistakes. The fundamental reason I broke up with you is you—you… why did you treat me like that?” Xing Yue’s voice carried weakness; even voicing it caused unbearable pain. She didn’t want to recall what happened that day even more. “Wasn’t I the person you loved? Why did you treat me like a slave, torturing me? Watching me humble myself, watching me on the floor unable to get up. Did humiliating me give you satisfaction? Is this how you love someone?”
She didn’t want this unhealthy relationship.
Bu Yao, who had just managed to rein in her emotions, was completely enraged by this speech. She bit her lip so hard, the taste of rust seeped through her teeth—a sweet, metallic tang flooding her mouth.
She got up, walked towards the small table, and looked at that green, floral-print tablecloth and those few stems of lisianthus. As if possessed, she reached out and tore them all down.
“You forced my hand!” Each word was enunciated, tears threatening to fall. Those ruby-red eyes turned misty and cloudy, like they were about to shatter, the rain swirling within them.
“If you hadn’t come begging me for He Zhiwen’s sake, how could I have treated you like that? How could He Zhiwen have seen?” Bu Yao stepped on the flowers fallen on the floor, trampling the few lisianthus to mush. “You’re overly concerned about your ex-girlfriend. Can’t forget old feelings. You’ve already been scummy enough—and you still have the nerve to question me? Why don’t you ask yourself—why were you contacting your ex? Why did you run out the door at just one text from her? Why were you keeping twelve thousand photos with your ex? Didn’t you say you’d consider remarrying me? So this is how you were considering it—thinking about remarrying me on one hand, and getting back together with your ex on the other? You rotten person! What’s the difference between you and a stray dog in heat anywhere? You’re all rotten! Rotten to the core!”
Were Xing Yue and other snakes any different? At their core, they were all promiscuous and heartless. Besides the Fire Snakes, there simply wasn’t any snake in the world that was loyal from start to finish.
For days, she had foolishly waited for Xing Yue to realize her own mistakes and come back to her.
Never had she imagined that, in Xing Yue’s mind, this was her fault. Her fault for not being allowed to be jealous. Her fault for yelling when she discovered Xing Yue wanted to get a room with another woman. Her fault for losing her temper when Xing Yue begged her for that other woman’s sake.
Bu Yao’s vision of Xing Yue was blurry. She lifted a hand to wipe, her fingers and palm coming away soaked with warm, cool wetness. She didn’t know when, but she was already awash in a downpour of tears.
Xing Yue’s silence was heartbreaking.
“No more rule that you must be home before 8 p.m. No more being at my beck and call, replying instantly to my texts, picking up my calls in one ring,” Bu Yao enumerated all the things she used to make Xing Yue do, her complaint melancholic. “You had me change this and change that, but you never returned the feelings I wanted. Instead, you pushed your luck further, flirting ambiguously with others.”
Back when they were newly married, Xing Yue at least knew not to stir up any wildflowers or attract stray butterflies.
But now, Xing Yue wasn’t even as good as she was ten years ago.
Amidst the sobbing accusations, Xing Yue opened her mouth, inhaling deeply. “I wasn’t flirting with any—”
“Saying what you said was wrong! Plain wrong!” Seeing Xing Yue still refusing to admit fault drove Bu Yao insane. “Those words weren’t just spoken in anger. They were a sexual invitation! Wanting to get a room isn’t called angry words. It’s called a sexual invitation!”
Xing Yue had been hinting to He Zhiwen they could take things further. If He Zhiwen hadn’t come looking for a specific reason, proving Xing Yue wrong, Xing Yue would have long ago rolled into bed with her.
Even so, after being discovered by her, Xing Yue could still righteously declare that they weren’t together back then. So what if she really had gotten a room with He Zhiwen?
Fine, they weren’t together then. But wasn’t Xing Yue supposed to be considering remarrying her? With that factor in play, how could Xing Yue do this? How could she consider remarrying her while also considering getting back with He Zhiwen?
That sentence became the powder keg that sparked their fights. And Xing Yue had even run to beg her for He Zhiwen’s sake.
She got angry, punished Xing Yue a bit. And Xing Yue immediately couldn’t take it. Talked about life or death, about selling her house and car, acting like she’d been forced into the role of a pitiful victim.
As if she, Bu Yao, were the villain playing with others’ feelings.
Xing Yue felt exhaustion. She pressed both hands against her eye sockets, rubbing lightly. Her voice was hoarse. “Stop. Consider it my fault, I admit it. But I don’t want to get back together. I don’t want to talk feelings with you. Can we just agree… we aren’t compatible?”
“Fine. No feelings. Let’s talk money, then,” Bu Yao sneered. Though laughing, the tears from her brimming eyes wouldn’t stop falling. “You owe me nine hundred thousand. Pay it back now. Clear the debt, and I’ll disappear from your sight immediately.”
Why was she the only one grieving this breakup? Was she the only one who loved? The only one who gave her feelings? Xing Yue acted as if she couldn’t wait to throw off a burden.
“The debt isn’t calculated like that,” Xing Yue said, trying to keep her tone as gentle as possible while analyzing the situation with Bu Yao. “What I owe isn’t a personal debt to you. It’s a debt to New Shadow Entertainment. Even if someone wants the money, it shouldn’t be you coming to ask. Not to mention, I have a contractual installment repayment plan with the company. You know this better than I do.”
She knew that when Bu Yao’s temper flared, there was no reasoning with her. She wanted to first get Bu Yao to leave. But before she could even open her mouth to shoo her away, her stomach cramped violently. She dashed into the bathroom and hung over the sink, retching dryly, unable to vomit anything up.
Cold sweat beaded densely on her forehead. Her complexion turned ashen. Powerlessly, she collapsed kneeling on the floor. Her head throbbed to the point of splitting.
A long-sealed box of memories was pried open. The endless tirades, the hysterical breakdowns, that person sitting upright, looking so refined and gentlemanly—yet in truth, utterly devoid of any emotion…
Many years ago, her mother had been just like this, driven to the point of smashing things and screaming obscenities. Her words became suffocating interrogations.
And the culprit? Forever maintaining that mild and cultured face, as if the woman breaking down beside him came from a whole other world. And the more so, the more it drove people insane.
This familiar scene today suddenly plunged Xing Yue back into her childhood circumstances… It pressed down on her so heavily she couldn’t breathe.
