Chapter 64: I Miss You

[One-Armed Hero: Two months have passed. Are you doing okay? I can’t find you. I’ve searched for so long, but still no luck.]

[Everyone says you’re dead, but I don’t believe it. Why aren’t you at North River Hospital?]

[Are you okay? If you see this message, could you reply?]

There was still no reply. Lu Nan stared at the chat records frozen on that night, scrolling upward endlessly, her hand blurring into a shadow. She scrolled all the way to the top of the conversation.

The place where it all began. Two months had flown by, but for Lu Nan, every day felt like a year, every moment pure torment.

—

During the New Year celebrations, every household hung lanterns, red and vibrant, full of festivity.

“Boss Li, two couplets and a pair of lanterns.”

The woman huffed warm air onto her hands, her cheeks flushed from the cold as she stuffed them into her cotton jacket.

The boss paused and looked up to see Lu Nan boldly lounging on the soft new sofa he wouldn’t let anyone else touch.

“You little rascal, Lu Nan! You’ve flattened my sofa!” Uncle Li grumbled without holding back.

“Uncle Li, if you don’t sit on the sofa, is it just for show?” Lu Nan teased on purpose. Before Uncle Li could swing the broom at her, she flipped up in a carp leap and stood.

“Mind the heavens and the earth, but my shitting and farting too?!” Uncle Li handed over the couplets and lanterns with a huff, then asked, “Didn’t Erning already get two couplets and lanterns? Why buy more?”

Lu Nan shot back with the same line: “Mind the heavens and the earth, but my shitting and farting too!”

A City hadn’t seen snow this heavy in two years. Lu Nan stood at the shop door with her purchases, the red plastic bag wrapped around them signaling a fiery new year. She gazed into the distance, where the earth lay cleaved in white.

In the icy snowscape, the lanterns in her hands stood out vividly, their fiery red like the morning sun.

Lu Nan walked slowly until she reached the building where Song Wenwei lived. She tilted her head up—no one in the windows above.

The door’s couplets were caked in thick dust. A pale, frozen hand wiped upward, instantly revealing their original form.

Lu Nan grabbed the broom and got to work. Four months unoccupied, dust everywhere—each breath a disaster.

She dumped the blackened water over and over until everything gleamed anew. She tore off last year’s couplets and pasted up the new ones.

There was no good spot to hang lanterns at Song Wenwei’s door. Lu Nan looked left and right, couldn’t find a place that looked right. Putting them on the living room coffee table felt downright eerie.

The lanterns were too big, the table too small—they took up the entire surface. Lu Nan lowered her gaze and stowed them in the storage room.

When she looked up in a daze, night had already fallen.

Clusters of fireworks burst in the sky outside, bang bang bang, vivid colors weaving together. Lu Nan watched, her thoughts drifting far away. She vaguely recalled the amusement park that day also had a fireworks show—probably even more beautiful, more spectacular.

In that moment, her heart truly felt empty. Tears fell unbidden, though she didn’t want to cry, had sworn never to again.

“Song Wenwei, I hate you. Not a single reply… Why!”

She wiped away the falling tears, lips pressed tight.

It was the big New Year’s—no crying, for good luck.

But the tears wouldn’t stop.

“Okay, I don’t hate you anymore. Just reply to me. Come back.” In the silent house, only her low murmur echoed: “Turns out New Year without you is this unbearable.”

Lu Nan sat on the sofa, not knowing how long. So long that the fireworks had faded.

“Beep beep beep…” A video call popped up on her phone.

Lu Nan snapped back, composed her face to hide any unease or exhaustion. She smiled faintly, her smile hiding endless sorrow.

“Where are you? Everyone’s waiting for you for New Year’s dinner!” Noisy voices came from the other end.

“I went out to buy drinks. On my way, coming now…”

Lu Nan hung up, checked that everything was in its original place, and gently closed the door.

Passing the corner store, to keep her lie from unraveling, she bought two big bottles of soda. Before reaching Li Erning’s home, a group approached, wrapped in warmth.

They took the soda and ushered everyone to sit.

A Bao reached out for Lu Nan to hold him, his childish voice full of confusion. “Why are Sister’s eyes so red?”

Lu Nan gently wiped them, forcing a passable smile. “Lots of bugs outside. One got in.”

“Really?” A Bao asked.

“Really.”

Li Erning bustled setting out dishes, ears perking up. She said nothing, but secretly slipped an extra nine hundred yuan into the red envelope for Lu Nan under the table.

The table grew rowdy with drink. Big Brother and Third Sister insisted on giving Lu Nan gifts. Hearing those familiar words, Lu Nan froze in her chair, motionless at first, then accepted with thanks.

Everywhere held memories of Song Wenwei. Last time, she’d sat right here chatting with her, back when they were friends who could meet.

Under the table, Lu Nan pulled out her phone. A message she’d sent who-knows-when now stared back.

[Yesterday I ate at Auntie Ji’s BBQ. The taste wasn’t as good as before. Want to try the new hotpot place with me? Heard their dipping sauce is amazing.]

[Remember Flower Town? In a few months, it’ll be demolished for a new theme.]

[Happy New Year. Let’s both be well.]

[Song Wenwei, I miss you.]