Chapter 65: Lu Nan’s Five Years

Li Erning had no idea what Lu Nan had been up to that year. She was getting thinner and thinner, and when she returned, her frail frame even pierced Li Erning’s heart.

Deep down, Li Erning knew Lu Nan’s personality—she would never give up, especially when it came to her first love. There was nothing she could do about it.

One night, as usual, she received a phone call.

“Hello, is this Lu Nan’s older sister, Li Erning, Ms. Li?”

“Yes, it is.”

“It’s like this—I’m Lu Nan’s counselor. She…”

She only heard the words “sudden death” and “hospitalized.”

Upon receiving the news, Li Erning rushed into the ward two steps at a time. Seeing the girl sleeping soundly on the bed with her eyes closed, she slowed her pace, and the tension in her heart gradually eased.

The girl’s bones protruded sharply; her hands were so thin they were almost just skeletons. She was a bit plumper than last year.

She had been perfectly fine for the past two years—how did she end up in the hospital, nearly dying? Li Erning couldn’t figure it out. She thought of Lu Nan, who had gone further and further away, always shouldering everything alone. She must have secretly taken on a job again.

She didn’t know that Lu Nan had been tormented by dreams and memories all these years. If she knew everything, she would have been heartbroken too.

“You have to outlive me.”

Her words sounded like a wish and also like an entrustment.

Gazing at the girl with tightly closed eyes, Li Erning said hoarsely, “No one is allowed to die before me. The living suffer the most, but we always have to keep going.”

She didn’t know if those words were for Lu Nan or for herself.

—

The dream was bizarre and labyrinthine, shrouded in thick fog with no clear path ahead. There was no wind, no sounds—just layer upon layer of white mist.

Urgent footsteps echoed from behind. Lu Nan turned around, but there was nothing there.

A classmate’s arrogant laughter exploded in her ears.

“Hahaha, you’ve been abandoned, and you’re still so devoted.”

“Does she even appreciate it?”

“So what if Li-jie picked you up? You deserve to be abandoned…”

“None of your business.” Lu Nan replied coldly.

Over these years, Li Erning had taken on the role of mother, but everyone had their own breaking point. Lu Nan’s bottom line was just one: no one could abandon her.

No matter what, she couldn’t be abandoned. That would make Lu Nan feel like a defective product, like trash, like something no one wanted.

She was just heartbroken. In these two years, she hadn’t looked for her even once.

—

That evening, Lu Nan slowly woke up and met Li Erning’s murderous glare right away. She sat up.

“What are you doing, staring at me like that?”

Li Erning looked worried, her eyes blazing as she said urgently, “You nearly closed your eyes forever and never came back. Do you know that?”

She punched Lu Nan, and the blow was so heavy that Lu Nan fell backward.

Grinning through the pain, Lu Nan clutched her shoulder. “Stop hitting me, or I’ll turn into an idiot.”

“Sis, I want to join the army.” Lu Nan’s smile faded, and she said seriously, “I’ve figured it out—I’m just muddling through life right now, no energy for anything. I might as well go to the barracks. At least then I won’t have time to think about other things.”

Li Erning nodded. Of course she knew Lu Nan hadn’t been doing well lately. With that emptiness in her heart and no solid ground to stand on, how could she possibly do anything good?

She was also afraid of never seeing Lu Nan again. School and heartbreak had worn her down.

Li Erning was truly scared—scared that Lu Nan would just black out and be gone. She had watched her grow from a malnourished little thing into this tall, healthy young woman.

She knew Lu Nan was too sentimental to seek death, but with no ties and no will to live…

Joining the army was fine. Anything was fine, as long as Lu Nan stayed well and didn’t step into the gates of hell like this time. Anything was fine.

Li Erning said reluctantly, “I respect your choice. Who knows how many years you’ll be gone this time. Do you plan to stay in the army your whole life?”

“I don’t know. I’ll take it one step at a time.” There was a glimmer of anticipation for the future in Lu Nan’s eyes. “Actually, I’m kind of looking forward to the barracks. It might temper my mind, and when I come out, I might be a different person.”

“You’re so skinny you won’t even pass the physical. Hurry up and eat to gain some weight, got it?”

“Got it, both ears heard you loud and clear.” Lu Nan sighed. “Sis, if there’s any news about Song Wenwei, you have to tell me. You absolutely have to.”

“Alright, I promise.”

Lu Nan looked toward the window. The hospital window was barred with iron. She saw birds soaring in the distance.

Once in the army, she’d have things to do and could forget her troubles, she thought.

At first, Lu Nan couldn’t adapt to the militarized management at all. She often zoned out and would start crying alone while running drills. She missed her second sister and Song Wenwei.

She was always at the back of the pack. After training, she’d collapse into bed and sleep.

Later, she adapted, and the squad leader often praised her.

But Lu Nan didn’t talk much—not even idle chatter—except at meals, when she’d complain that the rice was hard or the vegetables cold.

She was always the first to assemble, but the squad leader later discovered Lu Nan was sneaky: she slept with her shoes on and without covers.

She wasn’t fast; she just didn’t need to deal with those.

Seeing her like that, the squad leader bellowed: Extra training!

Her endurance, resilience, and arm strength improved even more.

Lu Nan stayed in the army like that for three years. During that time, she called Li Erning, telling her about her life and complaining about the doubled training that day.

Time passed quietly just like that.