Chapter 55

Before Ding Ya came back, she had imagined many reactions from Shu Chi, but she hadn’t expected the other to say so bluntly that she was angry.

For a moment, Ding Ya didn’t even know what to say. She had been purely prepared, yet she was still caught completely off guard.

But the furious rage she had anticipated never came, nor was there a very dramatic ending.

Shu Chi didn’t argue. Perhaps because she had once been mute, her calmness felt like the oppressive heat before a storm, weighing down on Ding Ya’s anxious heart. When she tried to grasp the other’s hand, it was pulled away.

The woman with the clean silhouette stood up, looked down at her, picked up her clothes from the side, and said, “I’m going back first.”

Ding Ya didn’t even have time to react. Shu Chi gave a few reminders and then left.

Her softness seemed only to exist in their intimate embraces in bed. Reverting to cold severity took only a few short seconds.

Yet it was enough to make Ding Ya, who had never experienced such a feeling, feel like ice and snow falling to the ground, even a little painful.

She thought: It’s over.

She’s really angry.

“So you two just got together and broke up?”

After finishing work and rushing back to Bramble City, Shen Mu immediately came to find Ding Ya.

Ding Ya had just gotten off work—though she probably hadn’t been able to focus at work either. She had already eaten a whole bowl of salad with Shen Mu before remembering to pull off the work badge still hanging from her neck.

She propped her face with one hand, eating even faster than Shen Mu imagined, like someone who hadn’t eaten in days.

Ding Ya’s fork was poking the purple cabbage into a pulpy mess. “I don’t know if this counts as breaking up,” she said listlessly.

The two were sitting in a Korean restaurant, the army stew bubbling pfft pfft pfft with steam. Shen Mu asked, “Are you that hungry?”

After demolishing the purple cabbage, Ding Ya moved on to stab at the rice cakes, poking out the cheese filling inside. The cheese stretched ridiculously long, making Shen Mu’s hair stand on end.

The person in question replied indifferently, “I forgot to eat lunch.”

It was already nine in the evening.

Shen Mu sighed, glancing at Ding Ya’s obvious dark circles. “I thought someone as scummy as you wouldn’t be sad about this kind of thing.”

She scooped meat from the pot onto Ding Ya’s plate. “Lies are bound to be exposed. Didn’t you already know that?”

Honestly, she wasn’t surprised. Ding Ya was just too overconfident.

If Shu Chi was similar to her, it would be a double-flirtation game, evenly matched, with no clear winner or loser.

But Shu Chi, let alone being a flirt, was completely grounded, with an unparalleled sense of steadiness. It was just that her tolerance was too strong, which was enough to break that balance.

Causing the person who was so sure she would win to lose utterly, now completely hung up on the tree that was Shu Chi, suffering the torment of backfired schemes.

Ding Ya grabbed a tissue and roughly wiped the salad dressing from the corner of her lips. “I know,” she said.

“I was mentally prepared for it too.” She closed her eyes, her lashes seeming damp. “But I didn’t expect it to hurt this much.”

Her fondness for Shu Chi had been there from the start. Ding Ya had also envisioned this exposure. She thought there would be a fight, thought she would be very neatly broken up with.

But she hadn’t expected Shu Chi to just say, I’m angry. Everything that followed was just reminders about the weather, simply repeating Yang Jie’s words: eat well, sleep well.

Was that possible?

In this state, how could I possibly eat well? Sleep well?

Could I sleep on the sheets we soaked through? This contrast was too vast. It was so vast that Ding Ya’s head buzzed, making her want to go crazy.

Shen Mu ultimately didn’t have much contact with Shu Chi. Their WeChat interactions were all because of Ding Ya. She said, “Someone like Second Boss… if she says she’s angry, she probably really is angry, right?”

Shen Mu was Ding Ya’s friend; compared to their colleague Ying Qixin, Shen Mu was clearly much closer to Ding Ya.

Ding Ya: “Yeah.”

Outside, it was freezing cold and incredibly windy. The new year was getting closer; the Lunar New Year was less than half a month away.

Shen Mu had a hard time suppressing a conscience-​lacking laugh. “You two haven’t been in contact for a week?”

Ding Ya nodded. “It’s me contacting her unilaterally, and she’s ignoring me.”

Shen Mu slurped some noodles, letting out a hiss. “It’s hard not to say you deserve it.”

Ding Ya knocked her head onto the table. “Yeah, I’d rather she just yell at me.”

Shen Mu shook her head smugly. “You’re hoping someone like Second Boss will yell at you? Dream on.”

Shu Chi didn’t look like someone who would argue much. If she did, she’d probably be the one getting yelled at.

A personality like that easily makes the angry person feel like they’re punching cotton.

Shen Mu actually felt that dealing with someone like Ding Ya, arguing was useless. Ding Ya had too many tricks; she’d push her luck easily.

Ding Ya didn’t know if the spiciness was making her want to cry or if she just wanted to cry. Wiping her tears, she said, “Now I finally know what it feels like to be left on read. I wish WeChat had a read receipt function.”

Shen Mu shuddered. “Please, no. I don’t want to be chased by business partners for replies every day.”

Ding Ya said heavily, “I really want it right now.”

Shen Mu hissed. “Did you try calling?”

It was freezing outside. Towards the end of the lunar year, many restaurant owners went back to their hometowns, so choices were limited.

The shopping malls were a bit better, but there were fewer street vendors.

While listening to Ding Ya vent, Shen Mu was also chatting with the older sister who sold egg crepes at the entrance of her own apartment complex.

Ding Ya: “I called. She didn’t pick up.”

Shen Mu: “Then why don’t you ask my goddess?”

Ding Ya: “She said she doesn’t know either.”

Shen Mu: “Really?”

Ding Ya took a sip of her drink. “Their company is doing well now, so they don’t need to watch it constantly. Shu Chi was more of a workaholic before.”

Shen Mu let out a “Wow,” sounding very cheeky. “So you’ve driven a workaholic to take a vacation?”

Ding Ya’s face was full of misery.

Shen Mu was used to seeing this person’s half-dead, drama-​watching face and her smugness when toying with others. This dejection on Ding Ya was especially rare.

She asked, “Just how much do you like Shu Chi right now?”

The fried chicken beside them was all eaten by Shen Mu. Even though Ding Ya was starving, she hadn’t eaten much meat, practically like a vegetarian.

Maybe she was abstaining from desire lately.

Shen Mu thought silently: Just started and already abstaining. That’s harsh.

Ding Ya was fiddling with her fork, lost in thought. “How do I even say this?”

Shen Mu: “You should be able to measure it to some degree. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, but tell Second Boss.”

She added another comment, still cheeky: “Oh, I forgot, you’re best at sweet talk. Maybe she thinks you were just playing her.”

Ding Ya was scolded without any retort.

This mess was indeed her fault.

Shen Mu sighed, chewing on her milk tea straw. After a long time failing to suck up a tapioca pearl, she simply gave up.

“But you two were even-steven from the start. One said she was a university student, the other said she was a cashier girl.”

Shen Mu had laughed herself silly when Ding Ya told her the ins and outs of that online romance back then. Now, she still didn’t forget to twist the knife: “And Shu Chi never said she was a guy from beginning to end. That was all you.”

Ding Ya: “Well, she could have corrected me.”

Shen Mu clicked her tongue. “How awkward would that be? You had already assumed, even sent voice messages to prove it. Even if Boss Shu could talk back then, you probably still would’ve thought she was a guy. Rose-tinted glasses and all.”

Ding Ya lowered her head, her voice muffled. “She could’ve sent a photo too, right?”

Shen Mu: “Don’t give me that nonsense. You weren’t any better. Emotional debts can’t be calculated clearly.”

Ding Ya sighed again. She opened her phone. Shu Chi’s chat was pinned to the top, but the chat history was still stuck from the week before.

Shu Chi had left that very night.

Ding Ya hadn’t had the face to ask her to stay, nor to ask, Did we break up?

She tried to check Shu Chi’s message board for her latest updates, but found it hadn’t been updated either.

Before, when Ding Ya had ignored Shu Chi, she had hoped Shu Chi would get used to her day-by-day “boiling the frog” approach. Then, once she suddenly withdrew, the other would immediately feel the difference and take the initiative to come find her.

But now the situation was reversed. The one being boiled was Ding Ya.

She had long been immersed in the web Shu Chi wove, completely unable to break free. Ding Ya didn’t want to break free anymore.

“At the very least, we should know where she went, right?”

Shen Mu opened her WeChat Moments and saw Su Dinghun had posted a location: a bar in Bramble City. That chick was doing her resident singing gig again.

Since tomorrow was the weekend, she asked Ding Ya, “Wanna go have a drink?”

Ding Ya: “Not in the mood.”

Shen Mu: “My goddess will be there too. Come on.”

Shen Mu had also added Jing Yuqi on WeChat. Their Moments updates were one after another, both from the same place.

Ding Ya: “Don’t want to go.”

Her agitation was written all over her face, though she maintained it well enough at work. Ying Qixin thought she had menstrual cramps and had even specially asked if she needed painkillers.

Ding Ya wasn’t in pain, though. She was just miserable. It was as if Shu Chi’s silent departure was like a needle prick—she looked completely unharmed, but it had left an invisible wound.

Shen Mu: “Ask my goddess in person. Maybe you’ll get some clues.”

She felt that, given their positions, she and Jing Yuqi were basically the “family of origin” for Ding Ya and Shu Chi respectively.

If it were Shu Chi who had wronged Ding Ya, Shen Mu wouldn’t want to tell Shu Chi where Ding Ya was either.

In the end, Ding Ya still went with Shen Mu.

Bramble City had a famous bar street. Ding Ya had been there twice before: once in college with her roommate, once after starting work.

She was a homebody. She’d rather play games at home than go out socializing. Venues like this also made her dizzy. As soon as she entered, Ding Ya felt sleepy.

The resident singer was still that blonde, those choppy see-through bangs very distinctive, now hugging her guitar and singing old songs.

Under the shifting lights, Shen Mu found Jing Yuqi as if she had a homing device. Jing Yuqi was at the bar, flirting with some handsome guy.

Ding Ya glanced at the guy, whose age made him look like a minor, and gained a profound understanding of Jing Yuqi’s taste.

Seeing Shen Mu, Jing Yuqi felt a bit creeped out. Enthusiastic female fans she had seen, but enthusiastic, perverted female fans were rarer.

Although Shen Mu hadn’t made any moves on her, her gaze was practically undressing her. Jing Yuqi couldn’t handle it.

“Hello, Goddess! Is that a new boyfriend?”

Shen Mu very naturally sat down, dragging Ding Ya with her.

Ding Ya smiled at Jing Yuqi.

Jing Yuqi was still exceptionally gorgeous. Even under this dim, swirling light, she was stunningly beautiful.

“Not a boyfriend.”

Jing Yuqi shook her head, then looked at Shen Mu. “Are you offering to introduce one to me?”

Her red lips were glossed with alcohol, seemingly carrying a flowing light. Shen Mu was dumbstruck.

It wasn’t until Jing Yuqi laughed out loud that she snapped back. “No, young guys are so boring. I’d advise you to find someone spicier.”

Jing Yuqi shook her head, her gaze already very hazy, her voice even more alluring. “I myself am very spicy.”

Shen Mu was too embarrassed to meet her eyes. Now looking away, she said, “I know. Let Ding Ya talk to you first. I’ll come back later for some spicy hot chatting with you.”

Coincidentally, Su Dinghun had just finished her set and was coming down. Shen Mu went over to find her.

The atmosphere suddenly turned cold. Ding Ya called out, “Sister Qi, Shu Chi…”

“She’s not here.”

Jing Yuqi cradled her wine glass and didn’t even glance at Ding Ya.

Even if Shu Chi hadn’t told her, Jing Yuqi could guess what Ding Ya wanted to ask. She had a good attitude. Shu Chi’s stance was clear: she’d said she needed to clear her head.

Ding Ya asked, “Then where did she go?”

The bar stools were very high. Ding Ya hugged her own bag, a rare hint of restraint on her.

Jing Yuqi had someone pour a glass for Ding Ya. Ding Ya didn’t refuse, drinking it straight down.

The woman, whose look suited the bar perfectly, said, “She went to her sister’s place.”

Jing Yuqi sighed deeply.

The end of the year was busy. She hadn’t rested all week. It was once in a decade that Shu Chi had emotional problems. Jing Yuqi hadn’t insisted on her staying. Making a mute person pour out their romantic troubles was too difficult. This was a problem Jing Yuqi couldn’t solve either.

This glass of alcohol was rather strong. The flush rose to Ding Ya’s cheeks very quickly; her face was burning. She asked, “Did she go back to her hometown?”

Jing Yuqi shook her head. “She went to Banyan City.”

At that moment, a male singer replaced Su Dinghun, singing a folk ballad. His voice was hoarse, the melody long and drawn out.

Jing Yuqi took a sip of her drink and turned to ask Ding Ya, “Do you really like her?”

She had asked this question before.

Perhaps because her own love life was a complete mess, although Jing Yuqi worried about Shu Chi, she wasn’t overly earnest.

She just gave a push when it was needed.

Sometimes she thought, if only back then, someone had given her a push.

Then she wouldn’t have wandered three thousand miles from home to set up a stall, waiting for a person who might not even know who she was.

How laughable.

Affection was utterly insignificant in the vagrancy of life, yet it became the only sweet dessert amidst the daily grind of fuel, rice, oil, and salt.

Cause and effect were linked; you couldn’t separate before from after.

Jing Yuqi had survived back then by relying on that bit of fondness. Now she found that bit of fondness had already scattered.

She didn’t know if Shu Chi had survived back then relying on her fondness. At least, that day when Shu Chi called saying something had come up, her voice had been choked, like she was about to cry.

Shu Chi never cried. Jing Yuqi had never seen her shed a tear.

Whether she was in debt or being bullied while setting up her stall, she was always silent, knowing that solving the problem was more important than crying.

But no one can be rational and indestructible all the time.

Ding Ya: “I like her.”

If she didn’t like her, why would she feel so guilty?

Jing Yuqi fiddled with her wine glass and asked, “What do you like about her?”

Her voice wasn’t at all as voluptuous as her appearance. Instead, it carried a frank, upbeat quality that hinted at her teenage years.

Ding Ya answered without thinking, “She’s a good person.”

Jing Yuqi scoffed. “There are plenty of good people.”

The wine glass in her hand had vertical stripes. The liquid inside looked like flowing tree rings under the shifting lights. Good or bad, it was entirely subjective.

Ding Ya was very firm. “She’s different.”

That glass of wine had ultimately exceeded Ding Ya’s tolerance. Or perhaps her recent emotional upheaval was too great. After only a few words, she felt a bit dizzy.

She cupped her face, her eyelids heavy, yet she thought of Shu Chi’s face from that day.

That look in her eyes.

It was as if those eyes held an unchanging snowstorm. I want to make the storm stop. I want her snow to fall on me.

Ding Ya said seriously, “She needs me.”

Jing Yuqi tilted her head, sizing up Ding Ya, who was now slumped over the bar.

Ding Ya’s face was very red, her eyelashes trembling. From her appearance, you’d never guess her real age; anyone would mistake her for a student.

As a business partner, Jing Yuqi admired Ding Ya’s work ability. But in personal matters, she had initially supported Ding Ya’s pursuit too.

After all, Shu Chi was like a piece of damp firewood. It took a very high-temperature flame and a very long time to get her to catch fire.

But the fear was that the flame would give up halfway.

Jing Yuqi hadn’t expected that this flame was somewhat demonic, actually wanting Shu Chi to be burnt to ashes.

She laughed, propping her face on her hand and looking at Ding Ya. “You’re so confident.”

Ding Ya looked at her, her nostrils filled with the aggressive scent of Jing Yuqi’s perfume.

She thought of Shu Chi. Her perfumes were always very light, reminiscent of deep mountains, of withered trees.

Ding Ya said, “She gave it to me.”

Even as she said it, she wasn’t so sure anymore. After all, Shu Chi had gone beyond her expectations.

What was Shu Chi doing at her sister’s place?

Weren’t her relations with her family bad?

She’s ignoring me.

She’s angry.

Does she want to break up with me?

“So, do you want to break up with her?”

A shop in the busy area of Banyan City had just been rented out. Shu Qing handed the still-hot rice noodle roll to Shu Chi, sat down, and asked a question.

Shu Chi opened the box and shook her head. “I don’t know.”

She was covered in dust. Shu Qing was in better shape—after all, Shu Chi hadn’t let her do heavy work.

The Second Sister’s marriage had failed, but she was at least older than Shu Chi. She had also been passionately in love in her time. She didn’t understand much, only knew that affection was about whether you fancied someone or not.

If you didn’t fancy them anymore, better to separate than cling on.

The woman asked Shu Chi, “Do you still fancy her?”

Shu Qing’s mood was much better than before. After recovering her health, she had come to Banyan City to check out shop spaces. When Shu Chi suddenly said she was coming to help, Shu Qing had been startled.

Shu Chi held the rice noodle roll. When she thought of Ding Ya, her heart still felt numb and tingly.

Very angry.

But she also couldn’t deceive herself. In a low voice, she said—

“I do.”