Chapter 14: Depressed
Listening to Tang Tang, Ye Qizhen complained, “How did you even see that?”
“If they weren’t interested in you, would they take photos of you like this?” Tang Tang analyzed logically. “Candid shots, sneak shots, and they all look so good. It shows that person has been paying attention to you the whole time, their eyes are practically glued to you. Ye Qizhen, I finally know why you’re single—you’re just too dumb.”
Wen Yu’s face flashed through Ye Qizhen’s mind. What is she talking about? She clarified one point to Tang Tang: “It’s a girl.”
“…” Tang Tang choked on those three words. After a silence of at least three seconds, she yelled into the microphone, “Then why didn’t you say so earlier? Didn’t you go with Xu Kaiming this afternoon?”
Ye Qizhen was puzzled hearing Xu Kaiming’s name from Tang Tang. “How do you know Xu Kaiming?”
“I heard it from Dog Tang. He said a boy on their basketball team wants to chase you, shouldn’t I ask around? I even saw photos, he’s quite handsome. Dog Tang said he’s 1.88 meters tall, and like you, he’s a top student. I feel like you two match quite well…” Tang Tang got more excited as she spoke, her mouth babbling endlessly like a floodgate opening.
Ye Qizhen leaned on the balcony railing, staring blankly at the lights of the dormitory opposite. She actually guessed that Xu Kaiming wanted to chase her. After adding Xu Kaiming on WeChat at that gathering, he had chatted with her a few times. Later, using auditing classes as an excuse, he asked for her class schedule. And even later, she had “accidentally” run into him several times after class.
A boy wouldn’t be enthusiastic toward a girl for no reason.
She understood it all.
But her reaction had always been lukewarm, mainly because she didn’t feel much.
“Why aren’t you talking? Shy? How do you feel about him, do you like him?”
“Just…” Ye Qizhen craned her neck to look at the sky, expressionless. “Don’t feel much.”
Saying “like” might be too early, especially for someone slow-tempered like Ye Qizhen. Tang Tang rephrased: “Do you dislike him? Do you get annoyed seeing him?”
Ye Qizhen thought about it and said, “Don’t dislike him, I guess.”
Tang Tang added, “Then try interacting with him and see. There aren’t that many cases of love at first sight. Isn’t it usually getting to know each other slowly, then realizing there are feelings, thinking it’s suitable, and then getting together? That’s how it was for me too.”
Ye Qizhen felt that what Tang Tang said seemed to make a little sense.
***
The third and fourth periods in the morning were English class. Z University had an English placement test right after enrollment, dividing classes based on students’ foundations. Ye Qizhen and Luo Bei were both in the A-level class, which had a slightly faster teaching pace.
Luo Bei didn’t have time for breakfast in the morning, so by the fourth period, she was wilted from hunger. So as soon as the bell rang, she practically wanted to drag Ye Qizhen and run out.
The two walked out briskly from the back door and almost collided with a tall boy. As Ye Qizhen looked up while apologizing, she discovered the person she bumped into was none other than Xu Kaiming. Another “accidental encounter.”
Luo Bei was good at reading situations. Seeing this guy coming to find Ye Qizhen again, she reacted extremely quickly. Turning her head, she said to Ye Qizhen, “Ye Ye, I have something to do, so I’ll go first. See you this afternoon.”
After speaking, she disappeared in a flash.
Ye Qizhen stood there looking at Xu Kaiming, slightly awkward.
Xu Kaiming smiled and said, “I happened to have English class in the next classroom. Going to the cafeteria? Want to go together?”
Ye Qizhen smiled faintly and didn’t refuse.
Walking out of the teaching building, a light rain was falling from the sky. Xu Kaiming hurriedly took an umbrella out of his backpack and opened it. He stood next to Ye Qizhen, shielding her. It was too close; Ye Qizhen instinctively took a step to the side. Seeing it was just a drizzle, she said, “You use it, I don’t need it.”
Seeing Ye Qizhen quickly create distance, it was Xu Kaiming’s turn to be awkward. He laughed awkwardly and said, “I can’t let a girl get rained on, right? You take the umbrella, I’m a big guy, I don’t need it.”
Saying this, he handed the umbrella directly to Ye Qizhen.
Ye Qizhen dazedly accepted the umbrella, feeling something was weird.
Class ended at twelve o’clock, right in time for the peak dining rush in the cafeteria. Only the ramen window on the fourth floor had slightly fewer people. The No. 1 Cafeteria had no elevator; the higher you went, the fewer people there were, as everyone was too lazy to climb the stairs.
Ye Qizhen ordered her favorite Tonkotsu Chashu Ramen.
When the meal was ready.
Xu Kaiming was very proactive. “I’ll go get it, you just sit here.”
Ye Qizhen: “Thank you.”
A few minutes later, the number of people on the fourth floor gradually increased. Ye Qizhen didn’t have much to say to Xu Kaiming, so she buried her head and ate her noodles. However, just her way of eating was endearing enough.
“Wen Yu, how about ramen? There are fewer people here.”
“Sure.”
“What are you having?”
“Same as you.”
“I really admire you.”
Faintly hearing someone call “Wen Yu,” Ye Qizhen looked up and sure enough, saw a familiar figure at the ramen window. Just then, Wen Yu turned her head and saw her too. She smiled at Wen Yu as a greeting.
Wen Yu returned her trademark smile, then noticed the boy eating noodles with Ye Qizhen. He looked familiar; seemed to be named Xu Kaiming or something. She had seen him at that dinner gathering and also at the basketball game.
After ordering, Qi Yun found a table and sat down. Wen Yu glanced at Ye Qizhen and sat opposite Qi Yun.
“Why did you leave during the game last time? We had a team dinner afterward, it was really lively.” Seeing Ye Qizhen being quiet the whole time, Xu Kaiming actively started a topic to ease the stiff atmosphere.
Just as Ye Qizhen wanted to say something, she accidentally choked on the soup. She turned her head and coughed lightly a few times.
Seeing this, Xu Kaiming hurriedly got up and ran to buy a bottle of water. He unscrewed the cap and placed it by Ye Qizhen’s hand. “Drink some water, are you okay?” After handing the water, he thoughtfully offered tissues.
“It’s okay, thank you.” Ye Qizhen’s face was slightly red from coughing. Feeling at a loss, she offered another dry thank you.
Hearing the coughing sound, Wen Yu glanced over indifferently, taking it all in. After seeing Ye Qizhen smile at Xu Kaiming, the corner of her mouth hooked up slightly, smiling as if she didn’t care.
So she smiles like that at everyone…
As expected, I was overthinking it.
Qi Yun sniffed out that something was wrong. Following her gaze diagonally forward, she laughed gloatingly, “What, seeing your love rival’s boyfriend is too handsome makes you feel unbalanced?”
Wen Yu looked at Qi Yun coldly. “Eat your noodles.”
Qi Yun shook her head and sighed, “Didn’t expect you to be so petty.”
Wen Yu couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to her anymore. She lowered her head, took a few bites, and lost her appetite again.
Eating only that little, can she be full? No wonder she’s so thin. Ye Qizhen noticed Wen Yu put down her chopsticks after just a few moments.
“…Shall we go together?” Xu Kaiming asked.
“Hm?” Ye Qizhen came back to her senses a beat slow, not having heard clearly what Xu Kaiming was saying.
“There’s a club meeting tonight, shall we go together?” Seeing Ye Qizhen’s absent-minded look, Xu Kaiming repeated himself.
Only then did Ye Qizhen react.
The one thing universities didn’t lack was clubs of all sizes and various organizations. After the National Day holiday, there was large-scale recruitment. Ye Qizhen joined two: one was the Editing Department of the Campus TV Station, and the other was a charity tutoring club. The former matched her major and could hone her skills; joining the latter was mainly because she wanted to do something meaningful, and she also liked children.
During club recruitment, Xu Kaiming had asked her which club she wanted to join. After she told him, Xu Kaiming signed up for the same ones right after her… she didn’t know if it was a coincidence or not.
In the evening, Ye Qizhen still went to the Zhiyuan Building for the meeting with Xu Kaiming, because at 7:30, Xu Kaiming sent her a WeChat message saying he was waiting for her downstairs at her dormitory.
The large classroom was packed with people. The theme of the meeting was nothing more than introducing the club’s origins, development, and upcoming activities. Ye Qizhen sat in the third row from the back, staring at the whiteboard and listening attentively. Near the end of the meeting, she inadvertently turned her head slightly and happened to collide with Xu Kaiming’s gaze, which was fixed intently on her.
Xu Kaiming’s eyes dodged away, trying to cover it up but only making it more obvious.
Ye Qizhen remained silent. Logically speaking, a moment like this between a man and a woman should be quite ambiguous and romantic, but she didn’t feel any ambiguity at all, only scalp-numbing awkwardness and discomfort.
Just then, the meeting was dismissed.
“Let’s go.” Xu Kaiming tidied up his notebook.
“Mn,” Ye Qizhen responded.
People in the classroom filed out one after another. When Ye Qizhen turned around, she saw a familiar beautiful profile, but there were too many people around, so she couldn’t walk over. She watched helplessly as the person left through the back door, and by the time she squeezed out of the classroom, the figure was nowhere to be seen.
Did I see wrong?
She felt that Wen Yu wouldn’t appear here.
Come Friday, there were two basic theory classes in the evening. The teacher was rigid and serious, making the already dull content even more sleep-inducing. But everyone loved attending, because finishing class meant the weekend break had begun.
Luo Bei propped up her head, her upper and lower eyelids fighting a fierce battle. It wasn’t until she glanced out the window that she suddenly perked up and nudged Ye Qizhen gently with her elbow.
Ye Qizhen had just finished copying notes and turned to look at her.
Luo Bei whispered, “Tsk, that person is here waiting for you again.”
Ye Qizhen looked outside, feeling a headache coming on. Ever since they ate together in the cafeteria that day, she had seen Xu Kaiming waiting for her outside the classroom several times. He didn’t even pretend it was a coincidence anymore; he was blatantly waiting for her.
Xu Kaiming wanted to pursue her.
No, it should be said he was pursuing her.
It was certain now.
With this kind of posturing, everyone in her dorm knew Xu Kaiming was chasing Ye Qizhen. So as soon as class ended, they very considerately “isolated” Ye Qizhen to create conditions for the two to be alone.
Ye Qizhen sat in her seat rubbing her forehead. Only after people had trickled out one after another did she stand up and slowly walk out of the classroom. She saw Xu Kaiming leaning against the corridor railing, holding a cup of milk tea, waiting for her with a sunny smile on his face.
Xu Kaiming was tall and thin, with handsome features—the type many girls liked. But Ye Qizhen felt she seemed different from other girls; she felt absolutely nothing. Over these past few days, she felt Xu Kaiming was a nice person too—thoughtful, caring, with a good sense of boundaries, never making people uncomfortable. But when she was with Xu Kaiming, she just felt an indescribable awkwardness.
“Here, last time I heard you say this milk tea shop was good.”
Ye Qizhen stared at the large cup of milk tea. After considering it, she decided it was better to make things clear. Xu Kaiming definitely wasn’t right for her; otherwise, she wouldn’t view their interactions as a burden. Although she really wanted to be in a relationship, the premise was meeting someone who made her heart flutter. This kind of thing couldn’t be forced. She didn’t intend to take the milk tea, just smiled and said, “You drink it, I don’t want it.”
“Bought it specifically for you, take it.”
“Sorry, I really don’t want it.” Ye Qizhen insisted stubbornly.
Hearing Ye Qizhen say this, Xu Kaiming knew the situation wasn’t good, and he fell silent.
Standing right there in the corridor outside the classroom, Ye Qizhen wanted to lay everything out. After all, if she didn’t reject him clearly, the other party would take it as tacit approval. “Don’t come waiting for me after class anymore, and don’t bring me things anymore.”
Although she was easy to talk to, when it came to rejecting people, she was never sloppy; her attitude was clear.
The conversation fell silent for a moment.
“Did I cause you trouble? Sorry.” Xu Kaiming naturally understood the subtext, but he was a little unwilling to give up. He smiled and said, “I still want to ask, is there really no chance at all? I really like you.”
Ye Qizhen had been confessed to by boys before, and this time she was as unmoved as ever. She stared at the person in front of her and recited the standard line: “Sorry, you’re a very nice person…”
“Just don’t have feelings for me, I know.” Xu Kaiming rubbed his head and beat her to the punch, masking his unease and disappointment with a smile. It seemed there really was no chance. “It’s okay, really okay. Don’t say sorry, this kind of thing requires mutual attraction anyway.”
Someone passed by holding books, and both of them quieted down.
Afterward.
Ye Qizhen greeted him first: “I’m going back to the dorm.”
Xu Kaiming hummed an acknowledgement. “Then I won’t walk you.”
The matter was resolved, smoother than imagined. After turning around, Ye Qizhen let out a long sigh of relief, as if a hundred-pound weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She walked alone towards the dormitory. She didn’t know if it was because of her period, but waves of cramping pain hit her, and she felt thoroughly depressed.
Passing by the South Playground, Ye Qizhen saw quite a few people night running. As she walked, she looked back in that direction a few times, then slowly walked towards the playground.
Feeling uncomfortable, Ye Qizhen circled the playground at a snail’s pace, looking left and right from time to time. After walking more than half a lap like this, she saw a tall, familiar figure running past diagonally in front of her. She called out excitedly, “Wen Yu—”
The person turned back and glanced at Ye Qizhen. Ye Qizhen froze, seeing a completely unfamiliar face. She hurriedly smiled and apologized, “Sorry, I mistook you for someone else.”
At this time, the pain in her lower abdomen became obvious. She really couldn’t walk anymore, so Ye Qizhen went to sit on the steps of the stands. She suddenly remembered that the last time she cried, she was sitting here too.
The night wind was cold.
She tightened her jacket, wrapping herself up and curling into a ball.
Ye Qizhen didn’t know why she wanted to run into Wen Yu. She and Wen Yu clearly weren’t even that close… On second thought, she remembered Wen Yu saying last time she could take her running. She should have agreed back then.
Should I send a WeChat message to Wen Yu?
Treat her to a late-night snack?
Ye Qizhen sat alone, clutching her phone in conflict. She looked at the track in the darkness. Perhaps she knew why she wanted to see Wen Yu—she wanted to hear Wen Yu comfort her…
It seemed quite embarrassing, but that was really what she was thinking.
After hesitating again and again, she finally sent Wen Yu a WeChat message.
