Chapter 5: Picking a Fight

Mu Qinglin was thoroughly confused. “You…”

“Don’t talk.” Zhou Yi scrunched up her nose and leaned in, sniffing around Mu Qinglin’s mouth like a dog.

People bustled past behind them.

Mu Qinglin could hear people whispering and giggling clearly.

Ah. This posture was indeed prone to misunderstanding.

Mu Qinglin kept her eyes down and wrestled with how to warn Zhou Yi without souring the mood.

Before she could open her mouth, Zhou Yi had already let go and, with perfect nonchalance, scooped a spoonful of cake into her mouth, chewing slowly.

“??”

That was it? No explanation?

Mu Qinglin couldn’t keep up with Zhou Yi’s train of thought.

“That was…”

“You’ve been drinking.” Zhou Yi struck first.

“…” Better to have said nothing.

“Less than two cups,” Mu Qinglin explained. She was genuinely embarrassed about breaking her own promise, getting caught red-handed by the person she’d made it to. “You have a cold. You can smell it?”

Zhou Yi: “Didn’t you see me with my nose practically on your face? If I still couldn’t smell it, I could cut off my nose and serve it to you as a bar snack.”

Mu Qinglin glanced down at Zhou Yi’s nose.

A tall, straight bridge with clean lines. Not a single flaw to criticize.

What a pity. She never ate animal innards or organs.

Mu Qinglin rested the back of her head against the wall and let out a wistful sigh.

Zhou Yi’s sharp ears caught it. “What are you sighing about?”

Mu Qinglin blinked, rubbed her nose self-consciously, and put on a performance. “Nothing. Just thinking that I didn’t follow Teacher Jiu’s instructions and drank on my own. What if the tattoo gets infected? Wouldn’t that ruin Teacher Jiu’s reputation? I feel a bit guilty.”

“Do you believe what you just said?” Zhou Yi asked. “You know what?”

Mu Qinglin: “Know what?”

“People like you who come into our shop, I kill one per visit. Two per visit, and I kill them both without blinking.”

“…” Mu Qinglin looked up at the battered old sign hanging above the porch. A question was rapidly forming in her mind. Is this a black shop? How else could she talk about killing people with such conviction?

“Not eating?” Mu Qinglin asked, watching Zhou Yi set the barely-quarter-eaten cake down by her feet.

Zhou Yi let go of Mu Qinglin’s coat and tucked both hands in, resting on her knees. “Too sweet.”

Getting something for free and she still had complaints. Only a dog could turn on someone that fast.

For a while after that, neither spoke.

The chaotic sounds of the street filled the vast night. Lively without being deafening.

Layers of small ads plastered on the wall had curled up at the edges, scraping against Mu Qinglin’s ear every time the wind blew.

Mu Qinglin ducked to avoid them. Her gaze collided with Zhou Yi and froze.

Just moments ago she’d been slumped against her knees, listless. Now she was holding a cat treat of unknown origin, teasing Facai, who had come back and was poking its head out from the mouth of the alley.

Facai seemed to be a born glutton. In two or three moves, Zhou Yi had lured it close and pinned it against her lap.

Zhou Yi was truly trouble-prone. She plucked the rubber band from her bangs and tried to tie up Facai’s whiskers.

A cornered cat will bite. Facai snapped, scaring Zhou Yi into yanking her hand back. She shouted at its panicked fleeing back in disbelief. “Come on! You haven’t even been vaccinated! I’m not a real dog, I have no immunity to rabies!”

Not a real dog?

So she knew she could be a bit of a dog sometimes?

Mu Qinglin couldn’t hold back a laugh. Zhou Yi heard and jabbed an elbow into her leg. “What’s so funny?!”

Mu Qinglin winced and shrank to the side, forcing the laughter down. But the sudden wave of emotion left a ripple of feeling.

No wonder Red Gate Alley, for all its filth and crowding, its infamous reputation for raw, crude vulgarity, could always draw respectable men and women in droves. Beyond the desires and authenticity that human nature couldn’t resist, there was a chaotic, rollicking joy.

That joy could carve out a moment of peace from the monotony of real life, giving the mind and body a chance to breathe.

That joy was rare, and it came from certain interesting people.

“You should go,” Zhou Yi said suddenly. The aggressive edge from before was gone. Her voice sounded heavy.

Mu Qinglin’s smile faded. Following Zhou Yi’s motion as she rose, she looked toward the front.

The group who’d threatened Zhou Yi last time, telling her to just wait, had come knocking.

The leader walked with a swagger, clearly drunk.

“Tang Yuanzhou’s not here today, is he?” The leader’s lips twisted savagely.

Zhou Yi stepped sideways, placing herself in front of Mu Qinglin.

She was neither tall nor heavyset. Her hair was tousled by the cold, damp wind of the alley.

“You only dare come on the days when Bro’s not around?” Zhou Yi’s eyes were mocking.

“Bull-fucking-shit!” The leader jabbed a finger at Zhou Yi’s nose and shouted, “Even if he were here, I-I’d still take you both d-down today!”

Zhou Yi nodded and deliberately mimicked the leader’s stuttering tone. “Oh, I’m s-so scared.”

“Big Bro, she’s copying you!” Skinny Monkey fanned the flames from the side.

The leader instantly lit up. “Zhou Yi. I’ll count to three. You kneel, kowtow, call me Grandpa, and say ‘I was wrong, I’ll never do it again.’ Then I’ll let you go. Otherwise, I’ll beat you so bad even your own parents won’t recognize you!”

“Sorry about that. My parents have been dead a long time. Whether they recognize me or not won’t make much of a difference.” Zhou Yi shoved her hands in her pockets and smiled. “And my grandpa’s down below too. I can kneel, sure. Just worried you can’t handle it.”

“Fuck! Are you cursing me to die?!” The leader roared and charged at Zhou Yi, his leg already raised.

Zhou Yi reflexively dodged to the side, but her body felt heavy as stone and wouldn’t budge.

One shoulder was pinned by Mu Qinglin’s single hand, a shoe braced against her heel. Before the leader’s kick could land, using Zhou Yi’s foot as an axis, Mu Qinglin spun her half a rotation and leaned backward. At the same time, the other leg swung up with the momentum and slammed into the leader’s chest.

Because Mu Qinglin’s movement carried zero hesitation and was decisive enough, the leader hit the ground and lay there for a while before the pain registered in a howl.

The underlings exchanged glances, then lunged at Mu Qinglin in unison.

Mu Qinglin shoved Zhou Yi’s shoulder backward and said quickly, “Stay to the side!”

Before Zhou Yi could process what was happening, she saw Mu Qinglin catch an incoming wrist, twist it outward, and hurl the attacker away. Then she stomped on Skinny Monkey’s stomach hard enough that he crashed into the two behind him, and all three went down.

Honestly, the least rare thing in Red Gate Alley was a brawl.

Zhou Yi often sat on the porch and watched the spectacle.

When it was truly entertaining, she’d have Facai round up the other cats and dogs. They’d sit in a neat row and watch the show.

She’d long since stopped being surprised by this sort of thing, but today, she had an inexplicable urge to clap.

Against these petty bullies, Mu Qinglin’s effortless three punches and two kicks looked like martial arts mastery.

Especially because her movements didn’t look street at all. Fast when it needed to be, controlled when it needed to be. Once you stripped away the brawling pattern, it became downright elegant and clean.

Tsk. Looked at from this angle, even that ugly mask she wore for no apparent reason became pleasant to the eye.

The underlings seemed to have drawn the same conclusion. After an awkward silence, they hauled up the leader, who’d just caught his breath, and said, “How about we come back another day?”

The leader’s pride wouldn’t let him leave without a parting threat, but when he met Mu Qinglin’s placid, unblinking gaze, the words died in his throat.

“Let’s go!” the leader said.

And so, a whole gang had arrived with great fanfare and fled in under five minutes with their tails between their legs.

Mu Qinglin turned back and walked step by step to Zhou Yi. She sized her up and down for a few seconds. “Do you know how to fight?”

“Huh?” Zhou Yi was still savoring the performance and didn’t register immediately. She stared at Mu Qinglin for a while before answering. “Nope. Bro says a scarecrow in a wheat field with a burlap sack thrown over it would look tougher than me. He told me to face reality early and not waste time learning something so useless.”

Mu Qinglin frowned. “Then how are you so good at picking fights?”

Zhou Yi: “Picking fights is all about the mouth. It doesn’t take any effort.”

Mu Qinglin felt suffocated. She suddenly understood why Tang Yuanzhou was so easily set off.

With someone this infuriating and unkillable at home, even an immortal descended from heaven would be driven to smashing plates and bowls every other day.

“Hey!” Zhou Yi shouldered Mu Qinglin and suddenly became very enthusiastic. “Why were you wearing that mask earlier? Is it because fighting with your face hidden gives you that hidden-master vibe? The kind that’s at peak power the second they appear?”

Mu Qinglin nearly stumbled into someone from the nudge. She thought, If I hadn’t been here just now, those guys would have tossed Zhou Yi halfway across the alley. And she’s still fixated on masks and other nonsense. Incredible priorities.

Then again, since they’d met, this was the first time Zhou Yi had ever spoken to her in such a brown-nosing tone. A mischievous streak surfaced and she suddenly didn’t want to play nice.

Mu Qinglin pulled off the mask and dangled it from one finger. “Want to know?”

Zhou Yi nodded eagerly. “Yes! Really!”

“It’s—” Mu Qinglin dragged out the syllable, her expression mysterious and enigmatic. Then it collapsed all at once, deflated. “I’m just poor.”

Zhou Yi looked confused. “I’m not very educated. Could you explain it in simpler terms?”

Mu Qinglin was amused by Zhou Yi’s frozen expression but worried about being found out. She forced a serious face and explained. “I am a provincial station reporter, after all. I occasionally appear on camera. If someone recognized my face and it got back to the station, forget about bonuses. I’d lose my salary.” Mu Qinglin sighed, her tone turning wistful. “Mortgage, property fees, utilities, parking, gas, food and drink, every single thing costs money. One deduction and I’ll be drinking the northwest wind. Life is hard.”

Mu Qinglin finished. Zhou Yi’s expression went serene, as if she’d seen through the meaning of life.

After a long pause, she asked, “How old are you?”

Mu Qinglin’s fingers curled around the mask.

Why did she have a bad feeling?

“Twenty-seven,” Mu Qinglin said.

“If I were living like this at twenty-seven, I’d have thrown myself in the Yong’an River on the darkest, windiest night I could find. Oh, and tied two rocks to my waist for good measure. Sink straight to the bottom in one go. That way nobody fishes me out. Too poor to even buy a plot.” Zhou Yi finished, spun on her heel, went inside, and shut the door.

Through the glass, Mu Qinglin watched Zhou Yi seriously lock the door, then lift her chin at her with smug triumph.

“…” Mu Qinglin’s carefully maintained composure shattered into pieces.

This ungrateful brat, and she’d actually found herself marveling at the beauty of life just moments ago because of the way she played with cats and dogs?

What a load of—

Mu Qinglin was stewing.

She’d never been this humiliated in her life. And through a closed door, with all her frustration and nowhere to vent it, the feeling made her want to say a few choice words in very colorful Chinese.

But the target was Zhou Yi. She was afraid that saying too much would shorten her own lifespan.

After a minute of helpless glaring, Mu Qinglin gave up and turned to leave.

She’d barely taken a step when Zhou Yi’s face rapidly ballooned on the glass door.

Knock, knock. Zhou Yi rapped her knuckles against the glass to get Mu Qinglin’s attention.

Mu Qinglin stood still and watched Zhou Yi talk to her from the other side.

Gesticulating wildly, brandishing her hands, flailing with an exaggeration that was unbearable to witness.

Even so, Mu Qinglin couldn’t hear a word. The street was too loud and the glass too thick.

After a few seconds of hesitation, Mu Qinglin borrowed a page from the same book. She spread her hands, shrugged her shoulders, and shook her head, her face broadcasting: My hearing is limited. I’m afraid I can’t help you.

Zhou Yi’s opening and closing mouth clamped shut. She stared fixedly at Mu Qinglin.

As the silence stretched, Mu Qinglin’s confidence wavered.

She knows full well this person is part hedgehog, and she went and provoked her anyway. Who’s really at fault?

Mu Qinglin decided to surrender.

Zhou Yi suddenly slammed her face forward, pressing it flat against the glass. With enough force to deform the tip of her nose.

She didn’t seem to care about looking ugly. One hand waved downward while she howled at the top of her lungs. “Trash! Tr-a-sh!”

“??” Trash? Talking about who?

Mu Qinglin looked down at where she was standing. She was on the street. Zhou Yi was inside, two steps higher. She was indeed the one below.

So she was the trash?

Mu Qinglin was stunned. Then frozen.

“Help me throw it out!” Zhou Yi shouted.

Mu Qinglin’s stunned gaze crept sideways, inch by inch.

…

It was the leftover cake.

She’d thought someone actually had the audacity to eat bear gall and leopard guts for breakfast.

Well, at least she cared about the environment.

Mu Qinglin couldn’t help laughing. Here she was, a woman her age, reduced to PTSD by a shorty who barely came up to her chin.

Mu Qinglin’s desire to argue with Zhou Yi evaporated. She bent down, picked up the cake box, and walked to the junkyard.

When she came back, Zhou Yi was no longer behind the door. Only two enormous words remained on the glass: THANK YOU.

The letters were shaking like a sieve, testament to how hasty the writing had been.

Mu Qinglin stood by the road and looked. Her mind conjured the image of Zhou Yi, using every ounce of energy to fog up the glass and scrawl those words while she was off throwing away the trash. The frustration from before dissolved entirely.

Sigh…

Human nature is inherently vexing.

She’d been made a fool of and still felt happy about it.

Truly vexing.

Thinking about it this way, Mu Qinglin felt that certain filthy creatures who enjoyed causing trouble for no reason deserved even more of a reckoning.

Mu Qinglin took out her phone as she walked into the crowd. Her voice was barely audible over the bustle. “Xiao, didn’t your brother transfer to the Sixth Road Police Station last month?”

“I need a favor…”

“I almost got beaten up in Red Gate Alley today.”

“…”