Volume 13
Chapter 5: A Quiet Life
Lu Li truly couldn’t develop any romantic feelings for An Baili; what he felt was more like sympathy. That day, Lu Li spoke a lot with An Baili. He unreservedly told her all his thoughts, hoping to get her understanding—and in fact, An Baili did understand, or at least she acted like it. She said, I know. I won’t bother you two anymore. Lu Li breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t know that this was actually just An Baili’s excuse to brush him off.
…
Time flew by. The interlude of that day didn’t seem to affect Lu Li and An Baili’s relationship. She still followed behind Lu Li and Wen Hupo like a shadow, like a glowing light bulb, biting her nails as she watched them. Lu Li felt a little uncomfortable and several times wanted to tell her to go away, but was stopped by Hupo. He found that he could no longer understand what An Baili was thinking. The weak and timid An Baili was perhaps just her disguise; her true self was probably dark and creepy.
After graduating from high school, Yameng entered the provincial team through her coach’s connections. Lu Li could see that his sister hadn’t yet emerged from the shadow of her defeat to He Ping. During the summer vacation of his third year of high school, he unexpectedly received an obituary from the class group chat. The Chu Jingyi who had been at odds with him throughout high school was gone. He should have been very happy, but thinking of Chu Jingyi’s bossy appearance with her hands on her hips, Lu Li felt a strange sadness. He laughed at himself for developing feelings for Chu Jingyi after being tormented by her; he was actually a little reluctant to see her go. Before starting university, he placed a bouquet of flowers on the great class president’s grave, hoping that she would find a good home in her next life, not be so high and mighty, and would surely find a good husband.
He also heard that An Baili’s father had also died. It seemed he had been robbed while walking at night. He only had a valuable leather jacket on him. The robbers wanted to take his jacket, but An Baili’s father refused to let go and was finally stabbed to death by the desperate thugs. He had wanted to comfort An Baili at the funeral, but when university started, he found that the An family hadn’t held a funeral at all. Even the body had been sent to the crematorium by the police out of humanitarian consideration. He also heard that no one had claimed An Baili’s father’s ashes, and they were eventually taken away by a scrap collector.
Lu Li felt the world was a little strange. His and Wen Hupo’s life was sweet and prosperous, and their relationship grew more and more intimate. But besides that, everyone else seemed to be unhappy. Perhaps they lived in two different worlds. Sometimes, Lu Li would think, if only everyone could be happy.
…
In university, Lu Li and Wen Hupo’s relationship became more and more stable, and he also focused his attention on his future plans. Hupo held an art exhibition and became a veritable little rich woman. Lu Li even laughed at himself for becoming a kept pretty boy. To his surprise, An Baili also followed him to university. She hadn’t been admitted; she was working odd jobs in the student affairs office as an intern. Lu Li often saw her mopping the floor and serving tea in the office. Her pitiful little body was so frail, as if it could be blown away by a gust of wind.
Lu Li wanted to help her out several times, but he was worried that his excessive sympathy would cause a misunderstanding with An Baili, so he held back.
In his third year, Lu Li and his little partner raised funds and established the Lining Company—a small company. He also earned his first real pot of gold. At the celebration party, Lu Li even invited Yameng, who was about to retire from the provincial team, and had her witness his engagement to Wen Hupo. He had drunk a little too much at the time and didn’t notice Zou Yameng’s eyes constantly darting about. She said insincerely, “Bless you, Lizi…”
Half a year later, he heard that Yameng had sprained her ankle on the eve of her final major competition and had committed suicide in the hospital the next day.
From then on, the memories of Lu Li belonging to that small house in the Chuanhai Low-Rent District gradually faded away. It seemed he no longer had a home in this world. Fortunately, he still had Wen Hupo, who had always been waiting for him. One day, after Yameng’s funeral, Lu Li returned to the boxy room in the Low-Rent District. As he was reminiscing about his sister, he was attacked by An Baili, who had been tailing him. An Baili was no longer the weak person she had been before; she seemed a little crazed. She wanted to get pregnant with Lu Li’s child so she could drive Wen Hupo away and have Lu Li all to herself. It’s hard to describe Lu Li’s anger at that time in words. The grief of losing his dearest relative, his dissatisfaction with An Baili’s incessant pestering, and his hatred for her insulting Hupo, made Lu Li hit a woman for the first time in his life—he slapped her very hard, sending An Baili to the ground, and cursed her for being shameless.
An Baili covered her cheek and cried, saying she didn’t care about being shameless. As long as she could keep Lu Li, she would be his ox and his horse. She just begged Lu Li not to be angry at her, that he could hit her and scold her, but not to distance himself from her. Looking at this pitiful girl, Lu Li’s feelings were complicated—pity for her misfortune, anger at her for not striving, or perhaps something deeper.
The more An Baili did this, the more Lu Li disliked her.
Later, Lu Li no longer saw An Baili in the student affairs office. He heard that she had been fired for poor work performance. It seemed she was working part-time at a bubble tea shop in the cafeteria to support herself. Because of her, Lu Li never set foot in the cafeteria again.
Hupo, on the other hand, had always been saying good things about An Baili, saying she had a pitiful background and a flawed personality, and that Lu Li could try to be tolerant of her. Hupo herself wouldn’t be angry. Lu Li firmly shook his head, declaring that he would not betray Wen Hupo. He had thought this was Hupo testing him.
On the eve of university graduation, Wen Hupo privately met with An Baili. She took out a large envelope full of cash.
An Baili didn’t dare to look up at her. Her light was too strong, so strong that it shone on this cockroach in the corner, leaving her nowhere to hide. “Why are you giving me so much money… I won’t leave Lu Li…”
“This is for your daily life,” Wen Hupo’s tone was gentle. “The bubble tea shop only gives you 2000 yuan a month. It’s a problem for you to even eat and dress warmly. I will give you a sum of money every quarter from now on to maintain a decent life for you.”
An Baili looked at her in disbelief. “Wen, Wen Hupo, what-what are you doing?”
“Baili, I have no ill will toward you,” Wen Hupo sighed. “I’m just suggesting that perhaps you could find a chance to apologize to Lu Li, to show that you will work hard and no longer pester him.”
An Baili gave a sad smile. “In the end, aren’t you still just persuading me to leave him?”
“That’s not it. Sigh, there are many grievances and entanglements that I can’t explain clearly here. It’s just that, Baili, this is my sincere suggestion. Letting go appropriately might allow you to get Lu Li’s forgiveness. He is a soft-hearted person. You can go and apply to his company. On account of your sincere desire to change, he will definitely give you a chance to make a living.”
“I don’t believe you. In high school, you stole the Lu Li who originally belonged to me. I won’t believe you, Wen Hupo! I know I’m not as good as you in anything, but at least I know that as long as I don’t believe a single word you say, I won’t be spun in circles by you!” An Baili said stubbornly.
Wen Hupo knew she had said all she could. She pushed the envelope to An Baili. “I’ll ask you out again next time.”
The ghost floated in front of the two’s table. He hadn’t expected Wen Hupo and An Baili to have such a past. The daily news was playing on the TV, introducing the drastic reforms of the new core leader, Zhu Xi. The waiter at the coffee shop quickly changed the channel to the first comeback concert of the idol singer, Longjing Cha. He was a little curious, wondering what Zhu Qiao was doing at this moment. Was she living with her sister?
He continued to hover over this city and finally waited until Lu Li graduated from university. He and Chen Jianing were busy day and night. Every night when he came home, Wen Hupo would gently massage his shoulders, not complaining that her husband came back late, nor blaming him for spending too little time with her, just saying softly, “You don’t have to work so hard. If there’s anything I can help with, you can tell me.” The more considerate Hupo was, the more ensnared Lu Li was by her. He was determined to be able to support Wen Hupo on his own, to let her paint freely, without having to rely on selling her creative works to support the family.
A year later, Lu Li’s company had started to take off, and to a certain extent, they had achieved a life free from worries about food and clothing. At times like these, he would think of Yameng with regret. If… if Yameng were still here, I would bring her over, and we could all live together… If… if… Unfortunately, life has no “ifs.” In February, during a routine physical examination, the doctor told him that his wife was pregnant and that the couple should prepare for childbirth. A mushroom cloud exploded in Lu Li’s mind. He looked at Wen Hupo’s happy smile, and he lost his composure, shouting in the hospital corridor. He posted this news on his Moments, wrote letters to all his close friends, and received a flood of blessings.
What Lu Li didn’t expect was that someone would get drunk to the point of collapse because of this.
An Baili drank a lot of alcohol alone that day. She felt that there was probably no hope for her in this life. No parents, no money, no dignity. Now even the only Lu Li had left her forever. She hated heaven for letting her suffer such injustice. An Baili put on the relic her mother had left her, put on her high school uniform, stole a car downstairs, and drove drunkenly toward the Jinjiang Bridge.
The car stereo wasn’t playing a song, but a recording of Lu Li’s voice that she had saved on her phone.
“Baili, let’s go home together after school.”
“Baili, have you finished your homework? Let me see.”
“Baili, let me treat you to this…”
“Baili…”
“Baili…”
An Baili suddenly burst into tears, crying her eyes out. She wished her mother had never given birth to her. Although the world was beautiful, she really didn’t want to have come here.
Beep, beep. The car swerved wildly. A traffic policeman on a motorcycle caught up with her and told her to stop. An Baili turned a deaf ear. At the end of the Jinjiang Bridge was a riot of colors, the neon lights of the bustling city reflected in the river. This was a night of debauchery for countless people. She floored the accelerator, and the recording happened to play to the end:
“Repaying me?… Haha, why don’t you save up more and pay me back all at once?”
I’ll pay you back in the next life, An Baili thought. Her hands left the steering wheel. The car broke through the guardrail and flew into the myriad of colors.
