Chapter 39: Intense

Zhao Chiyun’s palm was soft and delicate.

Her fingers had been chilled by the cold air, but a cluster of warmth gathered in her palm, all of it spreading evenly across Gan Xun’s face.

Gan Xun’s face thus grew hotter and hotter.

If Zhao Chiyun had told her at that moment that her face was red, she wouldn’t have questioned it.

The sofa felt too soft, leaving Gan Xun without a point of support, as if her body kept sliding downward, on the verge of toppling over.

Her entire body could only rely on Zhao Chiyun’s palm.

It was already late; they could go to bed and sleep.

Gan Xun decided to return to her room tonight, and not just because of Zhao Chiyun’s persuasion.

The living room wasn’t a great place to rest anyway. The unsealed space couldn’t wrap up sweet dreams and cradle them properly.

Whenever she slept on the sofa, she always had absurd or bad dreams.

Upon waking, she couldn’t recall the details, only a few key moments.

For example, Zhao Chiyun suddenly leaving her.

Moreover, the couple next door still liked to argue or get intimate in the middle of the night, making quite a bit of noise either way.

It was as if human emotions fluctuated more wildly at night, always needing to vent in extreme ways.

Utter hatred and utter love sounded equally dull and bleak to outsiders.

Now, Zhao Chiyun cradled her face, and the gaze she directed at her held a power that made one feel happy.

In a daze, Gan Xun sighed once more: her life had been so fulfilling lately.

Even though she had lost her job and been disgusted by her stepmother’s husband, with her limited savings rapidly depleting, the sense of inner abundance she felt was unprecedented.

She had no mind for melancholy springtime sorrows, because it was summer.

She also knew that it was because this summer had Zhao Chiyun in it.

Today, when she had impulsively decided to go to the Book Garden, Gan Xun’s mood hadn’t been high. Though she chatted and laughed with her friends, she secretly felt dejected.

She knew better than anyone that this was a time when everyone needed to be independent, to find their own sense of self-worth and meaning. Work and effort weren’t bad things.

From that perspective, she respected Zhao Chiyun’s decision to go to work and had no intention of stopping her.

She also liked that Zhao Chiyun could be seen and appreciated.

When Cui Can and the others praised Zhao Chiyun’s works, the proud yet subtle smile on Zhao Chiyun’s face was the most beautiful she had ever seen on a calligrapher.

As a friend, she had no right to say something arrogant like “I’ll support you” to someone determined to be self-reliant, nor did she have the confidence for it.

But she didn’t dare to put herself in Zhao Chiyun’s shoes.

A noble county princess like her probably never imagined in the first half of her life that she would need to earn silver through labor.

In her previous life, she must have done many good deeds to be born with a life of luxury.

But she had stumbled into this world and found that the one person she trusted wasn’t of much use.

Idle and scraping by, unable to provide for her in abundance.

So she could only rely on herself.

Gan Xun was very afraid that at some moment, disappointment and weariness would ignite in her heart.

So today at the Book Garden, when Zhao Chiyun’s expression faintly showed dissatisfaction and her words dripped with cold sarcasm, Gan Xun grew tense.

She worried that Zhao Chiyun would realize how hard life would be with an ordinary person like her.

Zhao Chiyun would eventually return to the Mirror Country, and Gan Xun sincerely hoped she would, to become the most noble county princess.

But Gan Xun still panicked, afraid that Zhao Chiyun would feel extreme sorrow over not being able to return sooner.

If living with her didn’t make her happy.

Perhaps these past few nights, Zhao Chiyun had still cried. Gan Xun just didn’t know.

While she overthought things in her oblivious way, Zhao Chiyun had already caressed every inch of her cheeks.

It was as if she were studying how her bones were pieced together, her touch sometimes light, sometimes firm.

Gan Xun was utterly useless; after spending so many days together, she still hadn’t gotten used to it.

Her heartbeat thrashed like tree branches in a typhoon, swaying uncontrollably.

She curved her eyes into a smile, putting on a clumsy act of nonchalance. “Are you checking if I’ve had plastic surgery?”

Zhao Chiyun was very satisfied with the answer. Gan Xun’s face was so close that she couldn’t resist caressing it.

She saw Gan Xun’s panic and tolerance, and for a moment lost herself in it. The skin on Gan Xun’s face began to turn pink and dewy, her eyes filled with thick emotion, and then she smiled at her.

Zhao Chiyun thought she would ask for something, and she prepared herself to graciously grant it.

But when she spoke, it was a phrase Zhao Chiyun didn’t quite understand.

“What is plastic surgery?”

Curiosity made Zhao Chiyun pause.

Only then did Gan Xun realize she had gone off-topic, and in a very mood-killing way.

She could only explain under her wildly pounding pulse. “A modern beauty treatment, with procedures like bone shaving and reshaping.”

Zhao Chiyun was shocked. “Why?”

“For beauty.”

Gan Xun sighed. “You wouldn’t understand.”

How could someone who looked like Zhao Chiyun understand the obsession of those who loved beauty.

“I don’t understand. I’m afraid of pain.”

Zhao Chiyun thought for a moment and said.

She stated it plainly.

But under the warm floor lamp, with her deliberately softened voice and her palm still resting on Gan Xun’s face, the words sounded like coquetry.

They expanded infinitely, filling Gan Xun’s heart to the brim, leaving her breathless.

Gan Xun was at a loss; in this situation, she had no way out.

Zhao Chiyun had touched her for so long, but Gan Xun didn’t find it bothersome. Instead, she envied Zhao Chiyun’s ability to do whatever she wanted.

No overthinking, no worrying if others would dislike it.

Every time Zhao Chiyun smiled radiantly, acted tsundere, or got annoyed, Gan Xun wanted to touch her cheeks too, but she lacked the courage.

Though everyone was equal and she didn’t treat the county princess any differently, she took Zhao Chiyun very seriously. She wasn’t sure if touching cheeks was something you could do to a county princess.

By the same logic, her current urges to hug or kiss were tightly bound by reason.

Zhao Chiyun withdrew her hand.

The warmth beside her cheeks vanished, leaving only the cold air brushing against her skin. Gan Xun felt empty, especially in her heart.

She thought it was over, but then she heard Zhao Chiyun’s voice.

“If you wouldn’t casually get intimate with others, why only with me?”

The question was too direct, so direct that even a self-proclaimed open-minded modern person was left speechless.

Gan Xun fell silent but couldn’t ignore it, so she lowered her eyes and said, “You’re different.”

In her heart, she earnestly asked herself just how she was different.

Fortunately, Zhao Chiyun didn’t press and just let out a happy, light chuckle.

The laughter was soft, winding and turning, laden with endless meaning.

Gan Xun heard one thing: County Princess Zhao was utterly convinced she was different from others, no need for further explanation.

She had always known she could easily obtain many things, and Gan Xun’s unreasonable favoritism seemed only natural to her.

Dazed by the laugh and her confidence, Gan Xun finally mustered her courage and wanted to ask if she could have just one more hug.

Just one.

But as she opened her mouth, Zhao Chiyun leaned back slightly and placed her cool foot on Gan Xun’s thigh.

“Why’d you put it away? The toenails still need clipping.”

She then noticed Gan Xun had been about to speak but stopped. “What did you want to say?”

Gan Xun couldn’t say it anymore.

She looked down. She wore short pajama shorts, and County Princess Zhao’s dainty jade foot rested directly on her skin, utterly unselfconscious.

Helping clip fingernails was just caring for someone without basic self-care skills, so there was nothing to it.

But clipping toenails? That was as intimate as it could get.

She didn’t know if Zhao Chiyun realized the difference between the two.

She tried to decline. “The clippers are easy to use. You’ll learn in no time. Do it yourself?”

Zhao Chiyun was greatly displeased. “How can I see clearly?”

Fair enough; long legs made it inconvenient.

“I can’t learn to use them either.”

A modern person who championed equality had no choice but to be bossed around. Mainly, Gan Xun suddenly thought: we’ve already kissed, so why fuss over this bit of intimacy?

Too pretentious.

Fine, clip away.

She steadied the foot righteously placed on her thigh, adjusted the angle of the toes slightly, and as she started clipping, Zhao Chiyun pulled back a little.

She stifled a laugh. “It tickles.”

Gan Xun jumped, helplessly reminding her not to move or she’d nick the flesh.

Worried she’d feel uncomfortable, she avoided the sole and sides, just holding lightly.

Zhao Chiyun endured the tickling with silent laughter but obediently stayed still, watching Gan Xun bow her head in focus, her hair tied up with a cheap nine-ninety-nine clip.

Gan Xun felt immense pressure, so many thoughts and worries, but she kept her hand steady. When she finished the last toe, it was like being pardoned; she was almost sweating.

She moved Zhao Chiyun’s foot away and began cleaning up, squatting in front of the sofa to wipe and disinfect both clippers.

Without looking at Zhao Chiyun, she said, “All done. Go to sleep. I’ll head back to my room soon.”

Zhao Chiyun hugged her knees on the sofa, admiring her clean toes with great delight, then stretched out her leg to poke Gan Xun’s back with her toes.

“Thanks.”

Gan Xun froze.

“Thanks for the hard work, A-Xun Lady.”

Zhao Chiyun leaned close to her back and asked again, “What did you want to tell me earlier? Why swallow it?”

Her breath brushed Gan Xun’s ear, making her limbs go soft and weak. She had no strength left to hide anything.

She turned her head, tilted it up slightly, stared at Zhao Chiyun’s lips, but said, “I want a hug.”

Zhao Chiyun’s eyes curved with laughter as she lazily agreed, “Sure,” and wrapped her arms around the person squatting in front of her from the sofa.

“Like this?”

Her chin rested on Gan Xun’s head as she asked.

Gan Xun, in her over twenty years, had never been hugged like this.

She couldn’t speak. The follow-up line she had planned—”I want a kiss too”—to push her luck suddenly didn’t matter.

The warmth Zhao Chiyun gave her was already thicker than anything she had hoped for or schemed after.

She could feel the unease and fear in her heart gradually receding.

It turned out Zhao Chiyun wasn’t disappointed in her at all and was even willing to get this close.

“Yes,” she said.

Zhao Chiyun unusually stayed quiet for a while, saying nothing else as she held Gan Xun tighter and tighter.

Then she let go, said it was a bit hot, slipped on her slippers, and headed to the bathroom.

Gan Xun’s gaze followed her back. She stood up woodenly; her legs had gone numb.

She took a while to recover, went to the kitchen to wash her hands, then returned to her bedroom and drew the curtains.

The whole room was filled with Zhao Chiyun’s scent, faint yet present, sweet and enticing.

The bedding had been changed today; the pink tones looked soft and inviting.

Gan Xun sat on the edge of the bed and took several deep breaths, but she couldn’t calm down no matter what.

The restlessness in her heart wasn’t soothed by tonight’s intimate interaction; instead, it grew even more eager.

She looked at the blue painting on the wall, hoping to cool down quickly like before, but this time it didn’t work.

Gan Xun heard Zhao Chiyun turn off the living room lights, saw her push open the bedroom door, and then smelled the herbal scent on her, similar to the room’s but more intense, mixed with the fresh notes of hand soap and skincare.

Zhao Chiyun wore her nightgown tonight, so Gan Xun finally understood: it had nothing to do with whether Zhao Chiyun dressed sexy or modest.

Seeing this person made her go bad, uncontrollably wanting to bare her greed and desire.