Chapter 30: Flower Plucking
“You’re hurt?!” Adele smelled blood and, looking down, saw the bloodstain on Lina’s sleeve. “What on earth happened?”
“…It’s nothing.” Lina had no desire to talk about anything else. “It’s nothing.”
She was dying.
The pain was everywhere. She wanted to gouge out her heart, to scoop out all the painful places.
She couldn’t bear it anymore. She didn’t know where it hurt, but she knew where it itched.
Only Adele could scratch it.
Only she could.
Today was a bright, sunny day. The sunlight fell warmly on her back. Lina suddenly remembered the clothes she had gotten wet.
The stormy night had been so damp. Those clothes had been wet, then dry, then wet again.
She had hidden the clothes. Adele hadn’t found them. Otherwise, the bad things she had done might have been exposed.
Fortunately, the sun was out today.
She finally had a chance to dry the clothes completely, without having to worry that they would suddenly become damp on some night and start dripping water again.
In the moment of unfulfilled desire, only apprehension remained.
That feeling was too awful.
Lina didn’t want to guess anymore, didn’t want to scheme anymore, didn’t want to be pulled back and forth anymore.
She wanted a stable, certain happiness.
She didn’t want to solve it alone anymore. A hungry soul needed freshly baked love to be satisfied.
Preferably, freshly made.
Made right now.
Right now.
“Teacher…” Lina liked this form of address. If her voice hadn’t been trembling, she would have sounded more like a good student.
The incense in the room was exceptionally sweet. The scent of snow pear lingered at the tip of Lina’s nose. Her gaze fell on the nape of Adele’s neck.
Like a ripe pear, one touch and sweet juice would ooze out.
I want to eat a pear.
“…Let me see your wound first.” Adele didn’t struggle. The lop-eared rabbit was pressed tightly against her back, like a golden cotton candy. The soft fur, every strand seemed to be sweet.
Adele’s scalp tingled. Like a child who couldn’t resist the temptation of candy, her appetite was easily aroused.
A carnivore would not easily allow others to approach its lifeline. The skin here was too fragile. If it was bitten, it would be dangerous.
But she had allowed the lop-eared rabbit to approach, allowed her to push her luck…
No.
It was more than pushing her luck.
A scalding breath seared her skin. The person behind her no longer hid her intention of holding her between her teeth.
Was it that she didn’t want to hide it?
Or that she couldn’t hide it?
Whichever it was, Adele knew that she couldn’t run away today.
She once again felt the warning from her genes.
Don’t run.
Don’t even think about running.
The lop-eared rabbit’s aura was like a dense net, trapping her firmly in the middle. The consequence of resisting would surely be a severe punishment.
She had no intention of resisting either.
If the timid lop-eared rabbit knew that a white wolf could eat a whole one in one bite, would she run away?
“There’s nothing to see.” Lina wouldn’t run. She longed to be eaten, swallowed whole, or dismembered inch by inch. It was all fine.
As long as it was Adele, it was all fine.
Fresh red blood soaked through the fabric. The bloodstain grew larger. Adele saw it clearly. Worry overcame her selfish desires. She insisted, “Let’s put on some medicine first, okay?”
“No.” Lina was exceptionally rebellious. “Teacher, I’m so uncomfortable…”
The lewd words were on the tip of her tongue. She paused, swallowed all the more excessive words, and only said, “Please dote on me.”
Dote on me.
“Lina.” Adele raised her voice. “Be good.”
Her voice sounded so calm.
So calm, as if there were no desire at all.
Lina was instantly filled with suspicion.
Could it be that her desire for her was only that little?
If she didn’t like her enough, would she change her mind soon?
Would she leave soon?
Leave.
Leave…
These two words almost drove Lina mad in an instant.
Countless extreme thoughts arose in her again. The blood in her body rushed to her head. Her ears were ringing, as if stuffed with wet cotton. She couldn’t hear the outside sounds, only her heart pounding in her chest.
She once again lost control and grabbed her own arm.
She was so impatient that she didn’t even have time to roll up her sleeves. She directly pinched the unhealed wound.
Humans often overestimate their ability to endure. Pain that surpasses the limits of the mind is unbearable. No matter how much one grits their teeth and endures, it cannot withstand the complete collapse of the body’s functions.
Pain that the spirit cannot bear will be transferred to the body. Some people fall seriously ill, some are frail for life, and until death, they can never walk out of the rainy season of their lives.
Lina was sick.
The unhealed wounds on her spirit were festering and oozing pus.
Adele was scared by her sudden action and said urgently, “Stop picking at it!”
The fiery, sharp pain was addictive.
Lina didn’t dare to stop. The moment she stopped, extreme thoughts would occupy her mind. The painful memories were heart-wrenching.
She was in so much pain.
The wound on her arm was nothing.
She recklessly picked at the already torn skin, picking until her fingertips were covered in blood, picking until her whole body trembled.
“I don’t want to be good anymore…” Lina said deliberately, “I just want to pick at it!”
Smelling the suddenly intensified smell of blood, Adele’s temples throbbed. She easily broke free from Lina’s restraint, turned around, and pinched her wrist. “Be good, don’t be like this!”
Lina threw her hand off and retreated toward the bed. “I just want to be like this! I don’t want to listen to anyone anymore. I’ve had enough of being at the mercy of others!”
She undid her cufflinks, rolled up her sleeves. Her blood-soaked arm was a miserable sight.
“What are your feelings for me!”
Her arm wasn’t painful enough. Lina then grabbed her own collarbone.
Five bloody marks instantly pierced Adele’s heart, and also stirred up her ever-increasing desire for control.
The out-of-control Lina made her even more agitated.
She wanted to grab her and hold her in her arms, wanted to teach her a good lesson!
“I said, stop picking at it!” Adele clenched her hands, her tensed jawline clearly showing that she was restraining her anger.
Lina looked at her angry and anxious expression and felt a secret pleasure.
Alright.
Alright, you still care about me.
She felt she was so dark, and also so pitiful.
Is this life so cheap!?
To have to feign misery to exchange for a tiny bit of pity. She didn’t even dare to hope that what the other person gave her was love.
She was not a greedy person at all. Before she met Adele, all she wanted was to no longer be beaten, no longer be hungry, no longer be cold…
A simple concern was enough to satisfy her.
But Adele had given her love.
If she had never experienced it, she would not have understood the feeling of being loved, and she would certainly not have been afraid of losing it.
But she had already felt it.
She couldn’t lose this love, couldn’t lose Adele, couldn’t…
But Adele’s response was so restrained, so restrained that it made her angry, and also made her afraid.
To deliberately hurt oneself to provoke the other person, to verify the existence of love—it was such a pathetic method. Lina despised herself for it. She knew that in a person’s life, there were too many things worth pursuing. Love was not the only one.
To harm one’s own body for anyone was an irrational act. But she just wanted Adele.
She wanted her promise, her true heart, her everything!
Lina didn’t know what other way she could use to confirm Adele’s feelings. She could only do this. If being injured could exchange for her pity, could make her always dote on her, she would rather the wounds on her body never heal.
Lina pretended not to feel Adele’s anger and directly grabbed her own neck. She just wanted to use this crude method to relieve the pain that was gnawing at her spirit, to test Adele’s bottom line.
When the bloody marks wrapped around her collarbone, Lina’s eyes turned red with pain.
The sound of fingertips scraping against skin made Adele’s hair stand on end. She finally couldn’t take it anymore. She strode to Lina’s side and grabbed both of her hands tightly. “You just don’t cherish your own body!”
This was the first time she had truly gotten angry with Lina.
“I was born with a worthless life!” Lina retorted.
Adele was so angry her breathing quickened. The force in her hands grew a few shades heavier. “Say that again.”
Lina was hurt by her grip and struggled. “Are you going to hit me? Fine. I’ve been hit a lot anyway. I’m used to it!”
These words pierced Adele’s heart. The thought of Lina’s past situation made most of her anger dissipate.
A lop-eared rabbit’s strength was no match for a white wolf’s, but the training during this period had also yielded some results.
Adele, who was not using her full strength, was thrown back half a step by Lina.
“You…” Adele hit the edge of the bed, lost her balance, and fell onto the bed.
…A lop-eared rabbit is so hard to handle.
Adele was patient and asked, “Lina, what are you doing? Why are you hurting yourself?”
Lina, seeing her fall, her eyes were full of guilt, but her tone was still sharp. “What do you see me as?”
As she spoke, she climbed onto the bed. “You pity me because my life is miserable, right?”
Adele, seeing her about to grab herself again, pressed her down once more. “Calm down.”
“I can’t calm down. I can’t be like you, as calm as an outsider!” Lina couldn’t control her emotions. Joy and anger were on a fine line. “I want an answer!”
These words were too much. Like knives, they pierced Adele, leaving her covered in bloody holes.
She was slightly stunned.
The atmosphere instantly froze.
Lina’s lips trembled. She didn’t dare to look at her. She simply fell onto the bed and covered her face with her ears.
After a long moment.
“You want an answer, right?” Adele asked.
Lina didn’t speak, her small face completely hidden under her ears.
Adele touched her head. When she spoke again, it was an apology. “I’m sorry. I do have many concerns.”
She laid out all her worries. “…I’ve never looked down on you. I hope you can be happy, hope you can be free… I just feel sorry for you.”
Tears wet the rabbit ears. Lina’s shoulders trembled slightly.
Adele ran her hand through her hair, her movements as gentle as ever. “It’s not that I don’t want to respond to you. I’m just worried about too many things. In any case, I’ve made you suspicious. I apologize to you.”
In just a few short moments, she had felt Lina’s little sensitivity.
Between lovers, there are no inexplicable emotions. There must be a reason.
Lina still didn’t respond. She trembled even more violently. In a flash, she grabbed her own ears again.
Adele’s touch was so gentle. She felt she was about to be completely lost in it.
But the more beautiful it was, the more it made one reluctant to part.
The thought that maybe one day Adele would leave, would take this gentle love with her, made her start to fear, start to get anxious.
Her emotions flared up again. Before she could grab herself, she grabbed Adele’s hand first.
“If you must hurt someone, then hurt me.”
Lina moved her ears aside. The eyes that had already been cried red were overflowing with tears again.
She felt she was about to be cooked by her boiling blood. Pain followed her like a shadow. She really couldn’t take it anymore.
She wanted to tear her skin.
She wanted to see blood flow freely.
She wanted to gouge out her heart.
She wanted to die.
She wanted to die so badly.
Lina wanted to grab herself, but both her arms were pressed to the bed. All she could grab was the back of Adele’s hand.
She couldn’t bear to do it.
The unresolvable pain made her stream with tears. Large teardrops fell on the bedsheet. She choked out, “Go away… I don’t want to hurt you…”
She no longer said “you” in the polite form.
Adele’s heart ached. She watched Lina cry, and her own eyes turned red. “Are you in pain?”
Lina nodded in a daze. “It hurts so much… I’m in so much pain…”
She wanted to crawl under the bed. Crying, shouting in pain was not allowed… she had to hide.
Adele didn’t ask her where it hurt anymore. The answer was self-evident.
“Kill me… I’m really in so much pain…” Lina gripped her hand, then let go as if electrocuted, and rambled, “Or don’t kill me. I’m a little afraid of pain…”
“Adele.”
She suddenly called out this name. On countless nights of self-pleasure, that damp piece of clothing had heard her pious call.
She had never called her “Teacher” at those times.
The teacher-student relationship couldn’t satisfy her.
Adele gently stroked her head. “I’m here.”
Lina wanted to say something, but in her daze, she called out two words.
“Teacher.”
“I’m here.”
“Save me.” Lina’s tone was almost a plea. “Save me, please.”
Save me, pull me out of the abyss.
Save me, don’t abandon me.
Save me, love me forever.
Adele.
Please.
Adele felt she was also starting to hurt, so much that her fingertips were trembling.
The rabbit’s fur was already mostly wet with tears. Lina felt Adele’s touch, and her hungry soul was roaring again.
So itchy.
So painful.
I have to solve one of them first.
She gripped Adele’s hand and said, “I want to know the answer. I want an answer. What do you see me as!”
Adele carefully cupped Lina’s face. “I see you as my lover.”
Her trembling hands touched the rabbit’s scalding earlobes and repeated, “My lover.”
“I hate you.” Lina cried even harder than before. “Making me wait so long…”
Adele lowered her head and kissed her.
I’m sorry.
My avoidance made you suspicious. I’ll make it up to you now.
Not just now, but forever.
Tearing at prey is a habit of a white wolf. Even in human form, it’s hard to change.
All of Adele’s reason was used to suppress her nature. A bloody tear would scare the lop-eared rabbit. She just wanted to bite away all her pain for her.
The wind from the North Island snowfields once again blew on Lina, easily blowing away the haze that surrounded her.
Lina didn’t know how to breathe. On the verge of suffocation, she was let go again and again.
Her unfocused eyes reflected an incredibly serious face.
It was Adele.
It was Teacher.
She had come to save her.
Lina tasted her own tears, and also the pink roses that bloomed on the ice field. A soft, light fragrance slid down her throat.
Sweet.
“Does it still hurt?” Adele was still holding her face, as if holding an incredibly precious treasure.
Lina’s aroused voice was completely hoarse. “Save me.”
Save me again.
If you save me once, you can save me a hundred times, right?
“Okay.”
The expected indulgence.
Lina was very smart. Her brain, which was good at imitating and deducing, quickly grasped the rhythm.
She began to respond to Adele.
Lina’s eyes once again saw that fair nape of her neck.
The snow pear flesh was in her mouth. She gently bit down.
…
“Hey—” Haia held out a hand and waved it in front of Lina. “Still reminiscing?”
Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted. Lina let out a “tsk.” Her ears popped out. She crossed her arms, and her two ears followed suit, crossing together.
“Why are you so persistent?”
“Hey!? What do you mean, persistent?” Haia pushed up her glasses. “I knew you were a bad child. And your teacher still thinks you’re so well-behaved.”
“Then what are you doing here?” Lina stared at her. “I already gave you the money you wanted.”
“If you didn’t pretend to be sick, would Adele have come to me?” Haia pretended to record on the diagnosis sheet. “I’ve never misdiagnosed before. You’re a stain on my career, you know?”
Lina suddenly sat up straight. Haia was startled by her.
“Are you going to hit me?”
“I don’t have that hobby.”
Haia’s smile was playful. “Bad rabbit, you know quite a lot.”
“You’re one to talk.” Lina glanced at the door. “Hurry up and leave after you’re done. Just seeing you annoys me.”
Haia squeezed out a fake smile. “Then I’m afraid I won’t be leaving for a while. Adele has already hired me to treat you full-time. Wherever you are, I’ll be there. I’m going to be sticking to you.”
Lina was infuriated by her again and warned, “If you blackmail me again, I’ll…”
The lop-eared rabbit fiercely made a throat-slitting gesture.
Haia stared at her and blinked. “Oh.”
She was not threatened at all.
She pointed to her own neck. “The carotid artery is here. It’s faster to kill someone by slitting it here.”
Lina was once again so angry she was all fluffed up. Just as she was about to say something, the door was gently pushed open.
The moment Adele poked her head in, Haia returned to her serious appearance, and Lina also smiled obediently.
The tense atmosphere instantly became harmonious.
The two of them laughed “hehe” at the same time.
Adele: ?
A very strange scene.
“How is the situation?” Adele walked in with two glasses of warm water. “Let’s take a break first.”
Lina glanced at Haia.
If you talk nonsense, I’ll kill you!
Haia took the water glass and said without a change in expression, “There are no signs of it getting worse. It’s normal for this illness to have relapses during recovery. Don’t be too anxious. Besides appropriate company, intimate contact like hugging is also helpful for recovery.”
Lina had just taken a sip of water and was immediately choked by it.
What is this person talking about!?
Adele quickly patted her back.
Lina took the opportunity to look at Haia and mouthed, “Is that right?”
Haia raised an eyebrow.
You’re welcome.
Lina’s ears instantly turned red.
Wicked woman.
I hate you.
“Alright, I’ll pay attention to that.” Adele said again, “Tonight is a full moon. The kitchen just roasted a turkey. There are two other guests next door. Let’s all eat together. It will be lively.”
Haia readily agreed. “I’m looking forward to it.”
It’s been a long, long time since I’ve eaten with those two…
I’m really looking forward to it.
But, on the night of the full moon, when order collapses, it’s even more to look forward to.
Let everything be led by the nose by desire.
Haia’s smile was a little sinister.
Lina took in all of her micro-expressions.
