Chapter 62: Self-Deception Part 4

“Still hate carrying a charger, I see.” Gu Fei smiled at her. “I really don’t understand how you live without battery anxiety.”

Ming Li plugged in the power bank and waited for the phone to reboot. She seemed to flip her social “switch” back on, offering a polite, flawless smile. “I always forget.”

Gu Fei curled her lip. “I think you just don’t want to be found. You’d rather no one be able to reach you.”

She had hit the nail on the head. But Ming Li just smiled and gave a casual denial. “How could that be?”

Gu Fei was obviously there on behalf of the Elder Madam to check on Qingshuang. Since Qingshuang was still being treated, Ming Li chatted with her for a bit. Gu Fei brought up Ming Li’s recent performance in Thorn Crown, praising her for still having the same grace she had when she was the star of the university welcome gala.

Ming Li smiled modestly, but Gu Fei suddenly changed the subject. “I heard the school chose you and Sun Xihan for the exchange. You didn’t go?”

“An accident happened,” Ming Li said. “Sun Xihan can handle it well on her own.”

Gu Fei glanced at the ward, then lowered her eyes and said softly, “A-Li, you made a mistake.”

“Who gets to decide what’s right or wrong?” Ming Li replied. “I think I was right, so I was.”

“Did you stay for love?” Gu Fei asked.

Ming Li paused. “Why else?”

She had unknowingly slipped into a defensive posture. Gu Fei stared at her for a long while, making Ming Li feel somewhat uncomfortable. But Ming Li kept her chin up stubbornly. “I couldn’t exactly pursue my dreams abroad while knowing I might miss seeing Gu Qingshuang for the last time.”

So, naturally, I love her, Ming Li thought.

Guilt, self-blame, fear, and even terror were all signs of love. Because she loved Gu Qingshuang, she was willing to give it all up. In a short span of time, Ming Li had successfully convinced herself once again.

Gu Fei’s gaze was piercing. “Even if you didn’t see her, so what? She doesn’t love you. The person she was hoping to see wasn’t you.”

Just then, Dr. Wei pushed the door open. She adjusted her glasses, looked between Gu Fei and Ming Li, and decided to address Ming Li. “She’s doing better now. You can go in and talk to her. Someone will bring a meal soon; remember to make sure she eats half of it.”

Ming Li nodded, though she thought to herself: Why not just send half a portion? Why send a full one and make me responsible for dividing it? Is it just to highlight my presence?

But then, wasn’t that what she had always done? Gu Qingshuang could do it, anyone could do it, but in the end, it was she who did it. It wasn’t because she was irreplaceable or better than others; it was simply because she happened to be the one standing there at that moment.

After Dr. Wei left, Gu Fei continued to stare at Ming Li. Ming Li retreated back to her usual polite distance and said warmly, “Little Aunt, if you want to see Shuangshuang, you can go in now.”

Ming Li admitted there was a hint of pique in her words, but mostly, she just didn’t want to go in and face Gu Qingshuang.

Gu Fei gave her a deep, knowing look. As they brushed past each other, she whispered, “A-Li, how much longer are you going to keep lying to yourself?”

It wasn’t a question; it was a statement of fact.

***

Gu Fei only stayed for ten minutes. After she left, Ming Li realized she had forgotten to return the power bank.

A short while later, the meal arrived. Ming Li set aside half for Gu Qingshuang and ate the other half herself. She didn’t force a conversation, and Gu Qingshuang didn’t speak either, though she would occasionally steal a glance at Ming Li.

Ming Li didn’t know what she was looking for, so she pretended not to notice. Conveniently, she didn’t know what to say to her anyway. The atmosphere in the room was stiflingly heavy.

Eventually, Gu Xueqiang arrived. Her eyes were bloodshot as she stared at Gu Qingshuang with a look that suggested a brewing storm. It was as if she wanted to interrogate her: Why did you do that? Why did you lose the will to live? Why did you jump in to save Shen Lideng?

But all those questions were suppressed the moment she saw the flicker of fear hidden behind Gu Qingshuang’s cold, indifferent gaze.

Ming Li finished her breakfast and took her phone outside to call Zhu Hanxing back.

The sudden cutoff earlier had startled Hanxing, but when she called back and heard the “power off” message, she knew Ming Li had just forgotten to charge it. She was used to it, so she waited for Ming Li to call back, though she hadn’t expected it to take this long.

Ming Li apologized. Hanxing said it was fine and asked about Qingshuang.

Ming Li gave a brief summary. Hanxing scoffed, “Is this woman doing this to you on purpose? She doesn’t get sick early, she doesn’t get sick late—she waits until exactly when you’re supposed to go abroad to get critically ill!”

“Illness doesn’t follow a schedule,” Ming Li said helplessly. “I’m sure she didn’t want this either.”

Hearing the low, dejected tone in Ming Li’s voice, Hanxing dropped the subject. She talked about Mingyue’s recent progress instead. Specifically, yesterday, Mingyue had suddenly been able to hear for a split second. Hanxing was overjoyed, saying she was going to a temple this weekend to give thanks, certain that some deity had intervened.

She then tried to talk Ming Li into going with her.

Ming Li was about to refuse when Hanxing said gloomily, “Look at your luck lately. You should go pray to the gods for some peace and safety. And Gu Qingshuang—she usually looks as strong as an ox, but one sickness almost takes her out. Maybe there’s some evil influence at work. I heard the protection charms and luck beads there are very effective. You could bring her one.”

The refusal at the tip of Ming Li’s tongue took a sharp turn. “What time?”

“Eight in the morning. We go one day and come back the next. Just treat it like a getaway,” Hanxing said.