My Girlfriend is a Cold and Aloof Sickly Beauty 175

Chapter 175: I Hope You’ll Be Happy Too 

“A-Xue, there’s something I want to tell you.”

A week after Jiang Xue officially started university, when she returned to the Jiang family villa on Friday, she saw Xiao Luohan coming down the stairs, her expression serious and solemn.

“Okay, let’s talk in the bedroom,” Jiang Xue replied immediately, thinking that this was also a good opportunity to find out what new ideas Xiao Luo had.

Just like how Jiang Xue had spent half a month pondering her future, Xiao Luohan had also spent a week thinking about her uncle’s suggestion before finally making up her mind.

After closing the bedroom door, as soon as Xiao Luohan sat down on the soft bed, Jiang Xue brought a chair and sat facing her.

“I feel like… sitting face to face makes it easier to notice your expressions,” Jiang Xue explained. “So, what do you want to tell me?”

Xiao Luohan looked at her intently for a few seconds, then began, “I remember when I decided to kill the Crown Prince, you told me that my motives and desires were justified—my target was the Crown Prince of the enemy nation who killed my elder sister and countless soldiers, so whether it was for revenge or self-preservation, my actions were blameless.”

“Yes, your situation back then was very special, and the rules of a time of war are different from those of peacetime, so when you said you were going to do something ‘illegal,’ I told you it wasn’t,” Jiang Xue nodded, having a vague idea of what Xiao Luohan was about to say.

Because of Elder Sister Red Fox’s reminder, she had also been thinking about the “why” before going to bed these past few days.

Elder Sister Red Fox had watched Xiao Luo grow up. Her understanding of Xiao Luo was probably comparable to her older sister and herself. Even if she didn’t want to believe it, she couldn’t completely rule out this possibility.

Since that was the case, she would listen to Xiao Luo’s true thoughts.

“Then what if… I felt the urge to kill the Crown Prince here, without knowing anything about him?” Xiao Luohan asked, finally voicing the question that had been on her mind.

Her suspicion confirmed, Jiang Xue composed herself and replied as calmly as possible, “I think this is similar to your fear of Yin Yuan, the difference being that Yin Yuan only reminded you of your life-threatening past because of her appearance and name, while the Crown Prince here actually did something that triggered your ‘déjà vu.'”

“The former might be your own issue, a trauma response to similar details, so after understanding Yin Yuan’s character, this hostility naturally dissipated, even helping you overcome your fear of other ‘similar details’—if I remember correctly, you weren’t as averse to interacting with strange men after that, and that cosplayer, Fu Gongzi, is a good example, right?”

“But the latter depends on the specific situation. Based on the current situation and the information we have, I think the modern-day Crown Prince is entirely to blame.”

Xiao Luohan had been prepared for Jiang Xue’s serious lecture, but hearing this, she was stunned, then relieved, a sense of peace washing over her.

No wonder her uncle had made that judgment, it was indeed so…

The A-Xue she trusted could always understand her.

Jiang Xue continued, “A normal person, even if they’re jealous of someone else’s achievements, wouldn’t deliberately smear their reputation. If the Crown Prince here were a normal person, he would just be my senior, an ‘honorary president’ who occasionally visits his beloved club to check on the younger members. We might greet each other on campus, but after graduation or internship, our paths wouldn’t cross.”

“But with all the shady things he’s done being exposed, he’s no longer a ‘normal person.’ Your incident was just a trigger, a stepping stone to uncovering the buried truth. Even if he ends up in jail, or even sentenced to death, it’s his own fault, it has nothing to do with you!”

Seeing Xiao Luohan fall silent, staring at her blankly, Jiang Xue quickly softened her tone and, imitating Yin Yuan’s verbal tic, added cautiously, “This is just my personal, subjective opinion…”

“I understand,” Xiao Luohan said softly, interrupting her, standing up, leaning in, and giving her a kiss as a reward.

Their lips touched, and Jiang Xue’s unease dissipated.

But she still felt that Xiao Luo probably had more to say, so after the kiss, she asked proactively, “Is there anything else?”

She was asking about Xiao Luohan’s inner thoughts, and Xiao Luohan’s first reaction was to answer, but meeting Jiang Xue’s expectant gaze, she hesitated.

After some thought, Xiao Luohan decided to be honest first. “Actually, I might not be as pure and innocent as you think.”

Jiang Xue paused, recalling the dream she had at her uncle’s house during summer vacation.

Seeing the domineering “Empress Xiao Luo” then, she had already guessed that she might be subconsciously projecting Xiao Luo’s “dark side.” After all, everyone had a hidden side, and since they were lovers, as they got to know each other better, they would eventually discover each other’s dark sides.

It would be a good thing if they could realize it early on and discuss it openly.

“The definition of ‘pure and innocent’ also depends on individual standards,” she said. “Then what do you think your ‘not-so-innocent’ self would do to me?”

Jiang Xue’s question was very direct. Xiao Luohan’s expression changed, and she unconsciously bit her lip, but quickly made up her mind. “Keep you by my side, bind you to me for life.”

“That’s it?” Jiang Xue instinctively asked.

“…Live together, die together,” Xiao Luohan added.

“Anything more extreme?” Jiang Xue asked, then, seeing Xiao Luohan frown in thought, she clicked her tongue and sat down beside Xiao Luo, whispering the intimate acts from that night’s dream into her ear, one by one.

Her own face was burning as she spoke, but Xiao Luo just listened and responded to each one.

Like peeling an onion, Xiao Luo revealed her hidden side to her.

In the end, both fell silent.

“Don’t worry…”

“I’m not against cooperating…”

They spoke at the same time, their words surprising each other.

“Some… some of those can be put into practice…” Jiang Xue continued softly. “But it’s probably not a good idea while I’m at school, I have too much studying and homework…”

It was just the beginning of her freshman year, and she already felt like she was back to the workload of her sophomore year of high school.

“So if you want to try those, we’ll have to wait until a long holiday or winter break,” Jiang Xue’s voice softened. “Otherwise, I… I won’t have time to recover…”

“I still think you’re too obedient,” Xiao Luohan murmured, interrupting her.

“You’re my girlfriend, and my future wife. Of course I’ll agree to anything you want, as long as I can accept it!” Jiang Xue immediately raised her voice, making a promise. “And I think you’re also very obedient. I’m sometimes even worried that if you join a new organization, you’ll be bossed around and bullied.”

“That won’t happen,” Xiao Luohan finally smiled. “I’m only obedient in front of people I’m familiar with. If I feel like I’m being taken advantage of, I’ll just use my health as an excuse to refuse.”

No one had treated her like that so far. She was always the one taking the initiative to help.

Seeing that she had nothing else to say, Jiang Xue thought hard and revealed her own “dark side.” “My ‘not-so-innocent’ side is that I’ve also thought about the things you want to do to me.”

“But it’s just a fleeting thought, not a strong obsession like you. This is probably related to our different backgrounds. I want you to stay with me forever, but if you have your own interests and career, I’m also willing to watch you integrate into society, make friends, and build your own network.”

“The things I’ve been worried about are actually very small, trivial matters… like, compared to filming vlogs and posting them online whenever we go somewhere, I prefer enjoying the experience with you; during livestreams, I want to be on camera with you, but I also want you to ignore the comments and just look at me, only respond to my words.”

“These are all very selfish requests, so after a while, I’ll just pretend they never happened.”

“That’s possessiveness,” Xiao Luohan said, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer. “You feel like your attention is being divided. When filming vlogs, I do think about ‘how to make the content more interesting,’ and during livestreams, I also try to respond to interesting comments, to let the viewers know that their interactions are being acknowledged, not just talking to myself.”

Hearing the faint meows of the white cat from outside the locked door, she paused and chuckled softly. “Just like how we both don’t want to have pets, because they would be distracting and interrupt our interactions.”

“Even if it’s something you consider small and trivial, if you want to talk about it, just tell me. We can find a way to adjust, or like Shizhu Jiejie suggested, ‘take a break’ and see what happens.”

Jiang Xue snuggled against her and agreed, then added after a few seconds, “I feel like it’s difficult for me to catch up to you…”

“Catch up to me in what way?”

“You’re maturing much faster than me,” Jiang Xue said, feeling a little ashamed. “The gap is like… I’m still a child, but you’ve already grown up.”

She hadn’t given up on catching up, however. After every deep conversation with Xiao Luo, she would reflect and also do the same when interacting with others, trying to make every conversation a step forward.

This wasn’t the first time they had discussed this, but this time, Xiao Luohan had a new perspective.

“You don’t have to chase after me. Although we have many similarities, we’re walking on two intertwined paths, like the double helix structure of DNA,” she said. “I also often feel frustrated that I can’t keep up with your growth. Look, there’s already a whole year’s difference between us. Even if I take the shortcut of the ‘Intangible Cultural Heritage Special Enrollment,’ I can’t instantly make up for the twelve years of modern education you’ve accumulated.”

“So, let’s just run forward on our own paths, and when we’re tired, we can stop and rest, and look at each other. After all… we have a long, long road to walk together.”

Not just for a moment, but for a lifetime, until death do us part.