025 Yu Yourong
After a weekend of sleeping off a hangover, Qin Ren and Luo Yao slept from 11:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. When they woke up, they felt lazy all over, their minds blank, not wanting to do anything.
“Qin Ren, Qin Ren.”
However, a certain Spirit Beast was always trying to find something for him to do. She rolled over and straddled Qin Ren, pressing her little hands on his chest.
“It’s time for meat today. What are we having for dinner?”
“Not eating.”
Qin Ren turned into a salted fish, lying motionless and staring at the ceiling.
“A calm heart naturally leads to a full stomach. If you don’t consume energy, you won’t get hungry. Learn from me, don’t move.”
“The book says that those who don’t move are turtles.”
“?”
Qin Ren’s face instantly darkened.
“What book?”
“A Broad Collection of Jokes.”
“Don’t read it anymore. It’s unhealthy.”
“Mhm.”
Luo Yao nodded obediently, then noticed that Qin Ren was still staring at the ceiling, as if he really didn’t plan to get up and cook for her. She gradually became unhappy and pouted her little mouth.
“Qin Ren, you’ve changed.”
“Adults are fickle.” Qin Ren raised his hand and pinched her gummy-like lips back into place, which made a fun “pop” sound.
“This eminence feels that you don’t dote on me anymore.”
“Let me give you a slap and see if you feel the doting then.”
“Qin Ren, tell me the truth. Is it because of your sister?”
“Huh?”
Qin Ren didn’t know why she suddenly brought up Gu Qing, but the High Immortal puffed out her little chest, looking very reasonable.
“The TV said that if you men on Earth sleep with another woman, you won’t be nice to the previous one.”
“?”
Qin Ren’s face darkened again.
“What TV show?”
“The Temptation to Go Home.”
“That’s even more unhealthy. Don’t watch that either.”
It didn’t matter if she couldn’t watch this or that, but eating was very important for a Pixiu.
Luo Yao took a deep breath, grabbed Qin Ren’s hand, and placed it on her little abdomen.
“Qin Ren, look. My tummy is so hungry it’s gotten thin.”
“…”
Qin Ren was expressionless. He used the hand she had grabbed, opened his fingers, and tickled her soft little waist like a spider.
The effect was immediate. The little girl giggled like a little hen. Her breath hitched, and her little abdomen immediately became flat again.
“There.”
Qin Ren patted it, very satisfied.
“Not hungry anymore.”
“You villain, Qin Ren!”
When soft tactics didn’t work, she had to resort to hard ones. The High Immortal wiggled her little bottom, her eyes lit up, and she suddenly remembered a huge weakness on the villain’s body. So she stood up from Qin Ren’s body, slightly raised her little leg, and aimed a kick at the spot where her bottom had just been sitting…
Afterwards, Qin Ren, of course, still got up.
But as punishment, Luo Yao’s cheeks were also pinched by him into various shameful shapes. It wasn’t until she was pinched to the point of tears that Qin Ren let her off the hook and went out to buy her feed.
————————
After dinner in the evening, Qin Ren was temporarily summoned to the company for overtime.
It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. It occurred from time to time, and Qin Ren was long used to it.
Originally, according to the rule of meat once every three days, Qin Ren, who had had some meat today, was very satisfied. But he never expected that all the stored energy would be consumed. Helplessly, at one in the morning, he dragged his tired body to the Golden Arches near the community again.
“A milk tea and a crispy chicken.”
“For here or to go?”
“For here.”
Qin Ren ordered his food, found a seat, and looked around the empty restaurant. He looked at the hazy night outside, then at the somewhat dim lights above. For some reason, he suddenly shivered for no reason.
It wasn’t cold, but he had a strange feeling of being watched by something.
“Is it not ready yet?” Ten minutes passed, and Qin Ren urged.
“Sorry, the crispy chicken will take a little longer. It has to be fried to order.”
Fried to order was good. Qin Ren could wait.
“What about the milk tea?”
“Milk tea?” The employee looked puzzled. “The milk tea just now… wasn’t it already taken?”
“Taken?”
Qin Ren spread his hands.
“I’ve been sitting here the whole time without moving. How could I have taken it?”
“Oh! Then maybe…” The employee’s gaze slowly shifted. “Was it taken by that student by mistake?”
That student?
Did another customer come in just now?
Puzzled, Qin Ren followed the employee’s gaze and turned his head, and was instantly stunned.
He saw that right behind where he had just been sitting, a girl in a blue and white school uniform had appeared at some point.
She sat very straight, her back as upright as the class monitor in elementary school. Her long, soft black hair was tied in a rather high ponytail. Looking from behind, you could see the tray that should have been Qin Ren’s in front of her.
This kid… looks familiar?
Qin Ren narrowed his eyes, immediately glanced at her feet, and she instantly looked even more familiar.
Size 37, a Jordan logo playing ping-pong. It was the same pair of counterfeit AJs that had stepped on his phone yesterday.
Well, I’ll be…
The first word that came to Qin Ren’s mind at this moment was not “fate,” but “unlucky.”
“Hey.”
He strode over and sat directly opposite her. He saw the girl holding his milk tea and sipping from the straw in small sips, and he almost laughed out of anger.
“I say, classmate, do you know me?”
The girl raised her pretty face, the straw in her mouth, her expression as blank as when they had met yesterday.
Not talking?
Playing deaf and dumb?
Qin Ren knew she wasn’t mute. He had personally heard her say “oh” after she stepped on his phone yesterday.
“Why are you eating my food?” He changed his angle and continued to question her.
“Hungry.”
This time, the girl answered. She took the straw out of her mouth. Perhaps because it was a paper straw, she seemed a bit clumsy. A clear thread of water stretched between her rosy lips and the straw.
“Hungry. Want to eat.”
She repeated, and although her face was still devoid of any emotion, she seemed to have a sense of righteousness.
“If you want to eat, why don’t you buy it yourself?”
The girl shook her head. For some reason, a determined light flickered in her watery, bright eyes.
“Master said that things pursued with a single mind will be tainted if they are touched by money.”
“I think it’s your brain that’s been tainted…”
Qin Ren’s mouth twitched as he listened.
Master…
Which master?
Master Ye or Master Kang?
Can he fight ten or can he steep ten?
“Hey, hey, hey, still drinking?”
Before Qin Ren had time to think about the “master” issue, the girl, taking advantage of his lowered guard, put the milk tea straw in her mouth and started sipping again.
Gurgle, gurgle. A big gulp.
She seemed to be really hungry. Plus, she was wandering around in a school uniform this late at night, which made Qin Ren suspect she was a runaway. So he probed.
“Hey, you said you’re hungry… have you not eaten for a few days?”
Soon, only the pearls were left in the cup. The girl released the straw and looked at Qin Ren.
“7 days.”
“What?”
Qin Ren suspected he had misheard.
“You haven’t eaten or drunk for 7 days?”
“Mhm.”
The girl nodded, her eyes blinking as she stared at the pearls in the cup.
“No way. Surviving for 7 days without eating, are you even human?”
Qin Ren clearly didn’t believe the girl’s words. The girl, however, shook her head very straightforwardly. Her ponytail swayed, releasing a scent similar to lavender.
“I am not human.”
“…”
Qin Ren felt a strong sense of déjà vu from the four words “I am not human.” As he was pondering, he saw an even more familiar scene.
He saw the girl suddenly unzip a section of her school uniform, stick her hand into her collar, and start rummaging around.
This scene of pulling something from her cleavage instantly made Qin Ren realize the source of his déjà vu.
He remembered when he met a certain Spirit Beast, she had also claimed to be non-human and had also reached into her clothes to pull something out.
The only difference was that the Spirit Beast’s little mounds were too cute, like two fried eggs. It was less like pulling something from her cleavage and more like self-humiliation.
But this wild JK in front of him really had the goods.
Although the loose school uniform concealed some things, when she started rummaging around, Qin Ren could truly feel the heavy sense of surging snow waves.
A moment later, she pulled out her hand, zipped up her jacket, and in her palm lay a hexagonal black token.
The token was neither metal nor jade. Its surface shimmered with tiny specks of light, somewhat resembling the USB drive from the movie Lucy, and it was identical to the one Luo Yao had pulled out back then.
“Flowing Cloud Sect disciple, Yu Yourong. I have come on my master’s orders to find the whereabouts of the Pixiu.”
Translator’s Notes
-
A Broad Collection of Jokes (笑林广记): A famous collection of classical Chinese jokes from the Qing Dynasty.
-
The Temptation to Go Home (回家的诱惑): A highly popular and sensational Chinese television drama known for its dramatic plotlines involving infidelity, revenge, and complicated family relationships.
-
Master Ye or Master Kang (叶师傅还是康师傅): A pun. “Master Ye” (Yè shīfu) refers to Ip Man, the famous martial arts master. “Master Kang” (Kāng shīfu) is the brand name of a massive instant noodle company in China. The pun plays on the word “master” (shīfu) and the idea of fighting vs. eating.
