Chapter 15

Qin Yue lay motionless on the desk, but her mind was fully awake. She had heard every word Shen Jianqing just said.

She thought quietly: Shen Jianqing’s fondness for pinching cat ears and taking people out to sunbathe truly hadn’t changed.

…

The moment the faintly familiar click of high heels rounded the corridor corner, Qin Yue heard it. But a night of tossing and turning and a full day of waiting had ground her energy down to nothing. She desperately wanted to sleep.

More importantly, she didn’t want to run into Shen Jianqing here just yet.

Unfortunately, her body was far too familiar with Shen Jianqing, and far too sensitive to her.

The second Shen Jianqing’s fingertip grazed her brow bone, Qin Yue’s lashes trembled uncontrollably. The breath that followed, warm against her arm, carried a heat that even she herself would call protesting too much.

For Shen Jianqing’s part, with an empty classroom on one side and a gaze focused on nothing but Qin Yue on the other, how could she not realize Qin Yue was already awake?

But she thought, if Qin Yue wanted to play pretend, she would play along.

After all, she had lost her temper at her last night and dug up so many of her secrets today. What sat in her heart now was almost entirely guilt.

Maybe she should whisper an apology right into Qin Yue’s ear?

Shen Jianqing thought: if she didn’t “wake up,” Teacher Shen, who rarely apologized to anyone, could deliver the apology in a way that felt deep and natural.

Heh. Shen Jianqing silently laughed at herself.

It had only been a few days since she and Qin Yue started seeing each other privately, and she was already on her second apology. That was nearly her annual quota.

But regardless, this one had to be said face to face, and it had to be sincere.

Shen Jianqing mulled it over while her fingers drifted unconsciously down from Qin Yue’s ear, grazing and brushing against her fair skin now and then. It looked almost like teasing, but any lightness in the gesture was softened by tenderness.

The setting sun slanted westward, surrendering its last warmth to watch the scene.

Suddenly, the hovering wrist was seized by the “sleeping” Qin Yue.

The motion was abrupt, and Shen Jianqing had been deeply lost in thought. She startled, instinctively curling back the fingers that had been drifting toward the side of Qin Yue’s neck.

As a result, the fingertip that had been barely grazing skin now scraped heavily across her delicate flesh with a slightly frantic force.

In that instant, Shen Jianqing clearly felt the grip on her wrist tighten, though nowhere near enough to hurt.

So she didn’t move. She watched quietly as a blush rapidly bloomed behind Qin Yue’s ears, as the arm beneath Qin Yue’s head slowly folded toward her chest, as the half of her face bathed in sunset gradually tucked into the crook of her arm. Then came a voice with its slight nasal quality and still-sleepy huskiness: “Teacher Shen, don’t touch my neck.”

Shen Jianqing couldn’t stand it when Qin Yue said such suggestive things in that voice, just as Qin Yue couldn’t stand it when she kissed her neck.

Sometimes, with the afterglow still lingering, all it took was one or two wild remarks in her ear, and her gorgeously undone body would surge and sway like a fish tempted by bait, circling restlessly in her hands, soft and lingering.

God, this is going to kill me.

Shen Jianqing moistened her lips, momentarily forgetting the apology, and followed Qin Yue’s lead: “Why shouldn’t I touch?”

As if she didn’t already know.

Qin Yue squeezed Shen Jianqing’s hand, pressed it flat on the desk, and rubbed the pad of her thumb against the inside of her wrist for a moment before sitting up. Looking into her eyes, she said with unhurried warmth: “I’ll come.”

Shen Jianqing’s brow twitched. The suggestive atmosphere surfaced in an instant.

One standing, one sitting, they faced off in the golden sunset.

Within three breaths, Shen Jianqing was the first to identify a fact: the backdrop suited Qin Yue perfectly. Quiet, still, with barely a ripple. All it needed was a touch of warm color, and she became a delicate beauty from an ancient painting who made your heart ache. All she had to do was lean against the chair and cough twice, then lower her eyes and rub her chin against her collar, and your heart would instantly melt into a river, letting her scoop from it and dip a finger in at will.

But in reality, this particular beauty really knew how to say the most outrageous things.

…

Shen Jianqing held her breath in her throat, awed by Qin Yue’s utterly disarming expressiveness.

Then again, if she hadn’t already registered the fact that Qin Yue was in poor health, with her subconscious working overtime, she probably wouldn’t have had this sudden thought, needlessly undermining Master Qin’s combat effectiveness.

Just look: when it came to a staring contest, who could hold steady like Master Qin?

Shen Jianqing parted her lips and let out a long breath, conceding: “You win.”

In an instant, every trace of the flirtatious atmosphere between them vanished.

Qin Yue blinked after a two-second delay, ended the eye contact, and released Shen Jianqing’s hand. “What are you doing here?”

Shen Jianqing brushed her curls behind her shoulders and said in a slow, languid tone: “Came to catch a liar.”

Qin Yue asked: “Who?”

Shen Jianqing leaned back, letting more sunlight fall on Qin Yue’s face. “Take a guess.”

“A friendly hint: today, she’s a cat.” Shen Jianqing tilted her head and added.

Qin Yue gazed at her in silence, the hair reaching her waist cascading behind her like dark flowing clouds.

After a long pause, Qin Yue spoke again. “You’re not angry anymore?”

Finally getting to the point. The tangle of emotions in Shen Jianqing’s mind all retreated to the background, and her expression grew serious. “Qin Yue, I’m sorry. I was too impulsive yesterday.”

Qin Yue was slightly stunned.

The apology caught her completely off guard after nearly a full day and night of wavering.

Gathering her thoughts, she quickly understood: Shen Jianqing had found out about her situation and was about to start feeling sorry for her.

Qin Yue propped up the front legs of her chair and said evenly: “I was the one who lied first.”

Shen Jianqing was quick to respond. “Even so, I shouldn’t have just blown up at you and left you alone in the shop.”

Qin Yue said: “You didn’t.”

Shen Jianqing: “??”

Qin Yue ignored the flicker of surprise on Shen Jianqing’s face and rocked the chair back and forth. “You kept driving behind the bus I was on. I saw you. After I got off, I walked past a pharmacy but didn’t go in. You honked the horn to remind me. It was short, but very loud.”

Shen Jianqing’s jaw dropped.

The road Qin Yue took home didn’t have much traffic, so she’d deliberately followed at a distance, thinking no one would ever notice. Turns out she’d put on a free monkey show.

Shen Jianqing let out a short laugh and pressed a hand to her forehead. “Stick me in a spy drama and I wouldn’t survive three minutes. Qin Yue.” She turned to face her. “If you knew I was following, you should have understood that things were already past. Why did you go to my WeChat to face the wall?”

Qin Yue said: “Following without showing yourself means you’re still upset.”

Shen Jianqing paused, then couldn’t help smiling. “Qin Yue, dating you must be wonderful. You’re so perceptive.”

Qin Yue’s chair-rocking froze for a second, then resumed its backward tilt.

Shen Jianqing pulled her wandering thoughts back and said carefully: “Qin Yue, your dean told me everything. And what I want to say is: everything I see in you is a good quality. I haven’t found a single thing that could be used against you or cause gossip. So you don’t always have to hide and keep things back. You should be as confident as when you say ‘I can weld’ or ‘I know, many people have praised my skills.'”

Thud. The front legs of the chair hit the floor. Qin Yue pressed over the sound: “I know.”

“I only hide things from you.”

“??”

“Why?”

“I don’t want your pity.”

Shen Jianqing was somewhat dazed. “Why would I pity you? You’re the person I drove all the way to invite. Why would I pity you?”

Qin Yue’s gaze flickered. She opened her mouth and confirmed with Shen Jianqing: “Not pity?”

Shen Jianqing answered without hesitation. “No.”

“If not, then why did you suddenly stop being angry and apologize to me?”

“Isn’t that the normal reaction after learning the truth?”

The two traded questions back and forth until they’d reached the very end of the problem.

Qin Yue thought for a moment, then spoke again. “What reaction?”

Shen Jianqing was about to say “just the normal reaction,” but the words caught at the tip of her tongue. She slowly began to understand what Qin Yue meant: every reaction should have an emotional root, not simply be classified as normal or abnormal.

The question was where her own reaction was rooted. She hadn’t thought about it.

She’d been absorbing information all afternoon with no chance to sort through it.

But judging by Qin Yue’s attitude, unless she gave a clear answer, Qin Yue would keep asking.

Shen Jianqing had no choice but to force herself to think calmly.

Then, out of nowhere, a word surfaced in her mind: heartache.

Heartache for Qin Yue’s background, for her body, for her sacrifices and perseverance, and for the fact that she’d grown up so upright in such an incomplete environment.

This heartache seemed different from the feeling she’d had the night she ordered Qin Yue to finish an entire glass of juice.

That day, she had been relying on her sense of responsibility as a teacher, feeling that having been a teacher for so long, anyone who rubbed her the wrong way was someone she should manage.

Today…

She simply ached for Qin Yue as a person.

For her, the distance between bedmates had been pulled impossibly close by the weight of these secrets.

So close that she could see nothing but Qin Yue, and all she felt was heartache for this person. No grand titles to prop it up.

With her thinking complete, Shen Jianqing felt wonderfully clear-headed, and the words spilled right out. “Qin Yue, I feel a little heartache for you. That’s why I chose to apologize.”

Hearing this, Qin Yue’s mind went blank. Her perpetually composed expression froze for an instant.

She quickly recovered, sitting up straight and asking: “What kind of heartache?”

Another classification? Shen Jianqing’s head throbbed. “Qin Yue, I was wrong. You’re not a cat today. You’re like Cai Wen’ge. You’re a walking ‘100,000 Whys.'”

Qin Yue followed up: “Then do you have a Book of Answers that can answer any question?”

Shen Jianqing drew out the word: “I do.”

She’d already thought it through, thank you very much.

Qin Yue lightly pinched her index finger joint. “What’s the answer?”

Shen Jianqing smiled at her and said: “The heartache between friends. Weren’t you the one who brought it up first?”

Qin Yue’s animated expression went still again.

This time it lasted a long while.

Not until Shen Jianqing sighed about how brief the dusk was did she slowly lean back. “Qin Yue, stop acting all deep with me. I know everything about you now.”

Qin Yue lifted her gaze past Shen Jianqing’s shoulder to the sky blazing like fire. “Is that so?”

Shen Jianqing sucked in a breath and whipped her head around, eyes fixed on Qin Yue. “I’ve figured it out. The second you use a rhetorical question, the big-shot aura just radiates right off you.”

Qin Yue looked back at her. “Want me to give you a chance to worship me?”

Shen Jianqing blinked, eyebrows shooting up. “Master Qin, don’t think just because we’re at your place, I won’t do anything to you.”

Qin Yue’s lips curved as she stood, eye-level with Shen Jianqing in her heels. “You’re not taller than me. What can you do?”

A brazen provocation!

And she…

Really couldn’t do anything.

She couldn’t hit her, couldn’t scold her. After last night’s lesson, she didn’t even dare to just turn and walk away, or she’d end up trailing behind her again, terrified something might happen.

Devastating.

Shen Jianqing was devastated.

Then, steadying herself and seeing Qin Yue’s unhurried composure, she smiled faintly, leaned in quickly, and ruffled Qin Yue’s hair hard. “Tell me honestly. Would you go mute if you went a whole day without snarking at me?”

Qin Yue didn’t answer. In her mind, a rapid flashback of Ren Jiawen’s tousled hair played out.

“I asked you a question. Are you actually mute?” Shen Jianqing waved her hand in front of Qin Yue’s eyes twice, then suddenly found it seized and tugged toward her.

Qin Yue’s motion looked casual enough. The force, though…

If not for the dean’s testimony, Shen Jianqing would genuinely suspect Qin Yue’s frail health was all an act.

“What are you pulling me for?” Shen Jianqing asked.

Qin Yue lowered her head, nuzzling her already-messy hair against Shen Jianqing’s hand, and said: “Teacher Shen, please rub it again.”