Chapter 43: Hands

Qi Ran stood on the iron railing at the edge of the rooftop, her arms stretched out to keep her balance, looking down at the dizzying city nightscape. She watched the streetlights like tiny rivers, the swaying torrent of vehicles, and the skyscrapers far away reaching into the night sky. A strange and wondrous feeling suddenly rose in her heart—it was as if those skyscrapers were no longer buildings, but one by one, sky-obscuring, silently standing giants.

She looked straight down. The scenery was somewhat distorted by the height—of course, maybe it was just an illusion. She felt her calves trembling slightly, as if in the next moment she would slip off the railing and fall into a pile of flesh.

“That pose of yours has quite a religious connotation,” Miss Ah Qiao commented, floating beside her. “If you turn your back and lie flat down, it would look even more like a movie scene. Want to try?”

“No thanks, I prefer to watch myself fall with my own eyes when jumping off a building,” Qi Ran replied, mustering her courage to not show fear. “Remind me again, what do I need to do next?”

“Imagine that you are a bird, imagine the wind lifting you up… You need to truly believe it,” Miss Ah Qiao said lightly. “Actually, it’s like swimming. Have you learned to swim?”

“Of course I have,” Qi Ran said. Her swimming skills were learned from Xu Yan. As the first among the three to learn swimming, Xu Yan had confidently said she would teach both her and Liu Xu. But Liu Xu still couldn’t do it after three months. He was a born landlubber and would panic the moment he entered the water. In the end, Xu Yan started to wonder if there was something wrong with her teaching. Then when she taught Qi Ran, she learned in one afternoon, which made Xu Yan gnash her teeth in anger and curse Liu Xu, who was still using a kickboard beside them, as mud that couldn’t stick to a wall.

“Just like swimming, some people can never learn to swim because deep down they resist and fear it,” Miss Ah Qiao said. “They fear the feeling of entering the water, so they can never learn to breathe. They don’t believe they can float on buoyancy, so when they enter the water, they find that no matter how fast they paddle, they still sink. In fact, once you truly learn to swim, you’ll find that the fear disappears completely. Swimming becomes as natural as walking and eating, an innate part of you.”

“I know many people can swim, but I’ve never heard of many people being able to fly,” Qi Ran said, her tone superficially calm.

“The reason I’m making you do this is because this is your Lake, not reality, silly girl,” Miss Ah Qiao said, tapping her on the head with a knuckle. “Even if you jump off and die here, you’ll just wake up. What’s there to be afraid of?”

“I understand, I understand,” Qi Ran took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Miss Ah Qiao, push me. I want to experience the feeling of being pushed off a building.”

Miss Ah Qiao slowly floated behind Qi Ran and gave her a strong push forward. “Fly!”

Qi Ran forced her eyes wide open. In her ears was only the sharp howl of the wind. The river of light and shadow in the night was like a silver ribbon threading through the city. Those lights turned from dots into lines, spinning and flipping wildly before her eyes, stretching into frantic threads. She tried desperately to chase those threads with her eyes, unable to stop. Her body kept falling, gravity like a hand pulling her down.

“Don’t be afraid, accept it! Accept the wind that lifts you!”

She suddenly heard Miss Ah Qiao’s voice, barely audible over the sharp howl of the wind.

Accept the wind? She almost wanted to laugh. She really couldn’t understand such a profound riddle. But she still stretched out her arms, and then—she did feel a huge resistance, a gentle force that shouldn’t have existed, lifting her up.

Was it the wind? The wind that had always accompanied her? The wind that existed quietly even though she couldn’t see it?

She swung downward with all her might and flipped up almost at the extreme limit close to the ground. The sharp wind sound from the rapid speed rose like a long whistle. She looked at the once familiar streets, the vehicles moving slowly like turtles, sweeping over them like the coldest gale. A bit clumsily, she turned in the air and darted across the dazzling light screens of the skyscrapers. The wind rushing at her carried an unprecedented wonderful scent—the scent of being unfettered, a scent she had never experienced before.

She raced through the city like a nimble bird. At this moment, even gravity couldn’t bind her. She was completely disconnected from the ground, suspended high in the air. The omnipresent wind enveloped her, washed over her, scrubbing away the filth from the surface of her soul, restoring her to her original purity.

“You performed even better than I imagined, worthy of praise,” she suddenly saw Miss Ah Qiao appear beside her, blinking a bit slyly. “How about going to the highest place in Pingjiang to see the view? Trust me, it’ll be worth it.”

Qi Ran’s lips curled slightly upward. Without a word, the violent yet gentle wind lifted her and carried her straight toward Pingjiang’s tallest landmark—Pingjiang Green Water Center. That was the super high-rise multifunctional skyscraper under the Bai family. Liu Xu had told her about that exaggerated building. It was nearly seven hundred meters tall and hailed as the most dazzling pearl of Pingjiang. It contained hotels, office towers, an observation deck, apartments, and more.

Back when the three of them sat on the rooftop and gazed at that sky-piercing tower, they would always wonder what it was like inside. Liu Xu would always sarcastically say that it must be full of impeccably dressed elites who looked like high society—men with shiny polished leather shoes, women with heels so thin they could stab someone to death… Qi Ran would always just stare at that hard, towering skyscraper and say nothing, because she knew some things were fated to have nothing to do with her. Those finely dressed people were born with certain things that were destined only for them—it was predetermined.

But now she was about to fly up that building. She would reach the very top of that tower. No one else in all of Pingjiang would be higher than her. Every building would be within her field of vision. No one would be able to see her figure from afar—no, maybe not just Pingjiang. It could be more places, higher and farther away… as if the whole world was bowing before her.

Her body suddenly shivered. It wasn’t fear; it was excitement. This feeling was so wonderful. For the first time, she tasted the thrill of this power, a pleasure of omnipotence that surpassed any stimulation from anything else. No wonder so many people, knowing full well how rotten The Circle was, would still throw themselves into it without hesitation.

But just as she was about to continue upward, her vision suddenly went black. A sense of powerlessness instantly washed over her, and even the wind vanished without a trace. Her slender figure, like a shot bird, abruptly stopped and plummeted downward.

Was it over? Actually, it was only natural. This was the punishment for her overstepping. People like her shouldn’t have any ambitious desires—she consoled herself like this.

But in the deepest part of her heart, a voice still murmured faintly, like a bone-rotting disease, or like a sweet-talking devil. It said: No, this is not what you truly think. You’re extremely unwilling, very unwilling. Those things should have been yours… Grab hold of it, hold on tightly, don’t ever let go… The day you let go is the day you die. Make all of them regret it!

Even though she couldn’t see anything anymore, she still stretched out every fingertip with all her might, desperately trying to grab hold of something.

Of course she was unwilling. To hell with not deserving it. Everything should rightfully be hers! Even if she died a thousand more falls, as long as she had one breath left, she wouldn’t let go… If anyone dared to take her things away, she would definitely kill them, by any means necessary, at any cost!

The wind roared past her ears. She grabbed hold of nothing. Maybe she was going to fall to her death like this.

She suddenly recalled, a long time ago, when she first met Tao Xiao. Facing that outstretched hand, she was stunned for a long while before realizing the other party wanted to shake her hand… That was the first time she felt she was treated as a person, a simple person, without any other identities. She wasn’t the daughter of a deadbeat, nor a classmate in the class, nor a burden, nor some insignificant stranger… She was a person, a normal, ordinary person, without any prefix or suffix. Just that simple.

So she had held that hand. Even if she had to do it a thousand more times, she wouldn’t regret it. Even if that hand’s real intention was manipulation or some messy conspiracy, she wouldn’t regret it, and she wouldn’t let go.

“Miss Ah Qiao!” she shouted with all her strength, the wind rushing into her mouth.

Then—she really grabbed hold of a hand. That hand held her tightly, as easily as picking up a chick.

“Got you, silly girl.”

She heard that voice overwhelm all the howling wind, tinged with laughter, sounding like a sly fox that had pulled off a trick.