Chapter 37: 37 Chapter 37 Part 2

The noise of the crowd always amplified everyone’s emotions. At that moment, Ji Qingyou didn’t think about anything. She just stiffly held onto Yu Qinjiu’s wrist. Even during the ten-plus minute fire-breathing performance, her hand never let go.

Her mind kept repeating: Who runs away like this?

They hadn’t even held hands. It was like holding her wrist was the biggest boundary they could cross. Surprisingly, Ji Qingyou felt like she had no complaints.

Because at that moment, the person standing shoulder to shoulder with her was Yu Qinjiu.

Just having this kind of contact. Just having a night like this again. It was enough for her to feel the sweetness that came with “eloping.”

Especially when Yu Qinjiu’s fingers accidentally brushed against her palm. When Yu Qinjiu laughed so happily in front of her, her eyes curving into tiny crescents. When the colorful lights kissed her full cheeks. When Yu Qinjiu pulled at her sleeve, excitedly saying how delicious something was. When Yu Qinjiu took a bite of a pastry, thought it was good, and then shoved it in her mouth, looking at her with bright eyes. When the scent of Yu Qinjiu filled her nostrils.

She began to believe.

That between them, this rare sweetness, which had crossed ten years of time to envelop them again, was more than enough to rival many things in the world.

They guessed lantern riddles on the ancient street. Brittany couldn’t read a single one and decided to give up. Yu Qinjiu, whose Chinese was never good and who had been using English for ten years, struggled to understand the poems and idioms. Ji Qingyou guessed ten correctly and won an adorable tiger lollipop. Brittany wanted it. Yu Qinjiu wanted it too. Ji Qingyou hesitated for a few seconds, then gave the tiger lollipop to the twenty-eight-year-old Yu Qinjiu. She told the eleven-year-old Brittany, who had never been to China before, to go guess the ancient riddles herself and win a rabbit lollipop. If she won, she could also give it to Yu Qinjiu.

In the end, the ignored Brittany felt like she was invisible in the temple fair. When she saw the flickering lantern boats in the river, her eyes lit up. She suggested going for a boat ride. So Yu Qinjiu rented a boat, neither too big nor too small. It was like an old, small house, with bright lanterns hanging all around and a warm, yellow light shining from the roof.

Like a reliable, not-easily-broken cocoon of light, enveloping her beautifully, protecting her beautifully.

Only the three of them were on this boat.

There were many other small boats in the rippling river, carrying many other people like them.

But Ji Qingyou thought.

None of those people could be as happy as she was right now.

Brittany was excitedly taking pictures of the river view with her Polaroid camera. She had already forgotten about being ignored by Yu Qinjiu and Ji Qingyou.

Yu Qinjiu rested her head on Ji Qingyou’s shoulder. Her gaze wandered over the wonderful world outside the boat. The brightly lit temple fair on the shore. The little boats, like little lanterns, floating on the river. The crowded, thronging masses of people.

Ji Qingyou tilted her head slightly to the left, sitting quietly beside Yu Qinjiu. She gently rested her head on top of hers. Like her, she was wearing a thick scarf. Her dark eyes also reflected the colorful lights. She looked soft and warm.

The winter night breeze gently lifted their hair. The strands rose in perfect unison. They were both lively and vivid. They were gently wrapped in the light cocoon created by the light above their heads. It was as if they were completely isolated from the noise and chaos of the world.

Like the final shot in a fairy tale movie.

Long yet short. Side by side, intertwined.

From Brittany’s perspective across from them.

Yu Qinjiu was leaning on Ji Qingyou. Ji Qingyou was also leaning on Yu Qinjiu. They looked like a pair relying on each other, drawing strength from each other…

Friends? Lovers? Family?

Brittany couldn’t find the right word to describe these two people. She felt that any word used to describe a relationship wouldn’t be suitable for them. With her limited, shallow understanding of Chinese, she couldn’t find a single ordinary word to define their relationship.

Okay, even though she was just an eleven-year-old kid, understanding this kind of relationship was really hard for her.

But at least she knew.

This was the happiest day she could remember for Yu Qinjiu.

It was a palpable, radiating happiness. Not the kind of happiness where she smiled with her eyes even though she wasn’t happy. Not the kind of happiness where she forced herself to act childish in front of Lin Yingxiang, bickering with her. The kind of happiness she used to win her mother’s love and care.

To keep Lin Yingxiang from worrying, Yu Qinjiu often did things like this. She would pretend to be a child, bickering with the eleven-year-old her, pretending to be as childish as her, to soak up her mother’s love and attention.

But Brittany had also seen, more than once.

Yu Qinjiu would often sit in her room without turning on the lights, watching the videos on that old DV over and over again. There was a very beautiful girl in it. Brittany had watched them with her a few times. Every time a sentence ended, Yu Qinjiu already knew what the next sentence would be. Brittany suspected she had imprinted those videos into her not-so-good memory.

Yu Qinjiu would occasionally go out to join the lively crowds, but she would call her mom to come pick her up. Because she was afraid Lin Yingxiang would see her crying so sadly when she was drunk. So every time, it was Brittany and her mom who picked her up.

Yu Qinjiu always wanted to be with Lin Yingxiang. No matter what Lin Yingxiang wanted to do, even if it was going somewhere far away, she would rather put down her own work and follow closely. As if leaving her mother would cause everything to collapse. Even when Lin Yingxiang went on a blind date, she would have to watch over her. She seemed very afraid that her mother would be hurt by another man again. And this time, coming back for a two-month vacation was already Yu Qinjiu’s limit for being away from Lin Yingxiang. If Lin Yingxiang hadn’t insisted, she probably would have only taken three days of annual leave, like every other year.

Every year on Christmas Eve, if it was snowing, Yu Qinjiu would try to separate herself from Lin Yingxiang. She would refuse their invitations to dinner. She would go alone to a strange tavern. Apparently, they had a very good egg-fried rice there. But Yu Qinjiu had never eaten it. She would just sit there all night. Brittany had gone to pick her up with her mom more than once. But every time she saw her sitting there quietly on that night, or sitting there cheerfully, or drinking a little, then smiling harmlessly at them.

But what was the difference?

Whether she was in a crowd or alone, her cousin never seemed very happy.

But today, her not-very-happy cousin told her that because many sad things had happened to Ji Qingyou yesterday, her not-very-happy cousin had brought her out, wanting to make Ji Qingyou happy.

Regarding the concept of happiness, Yu Qinjiu seemed to have lost her grasp on what the standard was. It was hard for her to have the ability to make others happy. She could only bring Brittany along. Because she thought, at Brittany’s age, happiness should be a very simple thing.

Brittany didn’t think so.

Because tonight, she didn’t get to eat ten ice creams. She didn’t even get the tiger lollipop. She hadn’t guessed a single riddle correctly. And she had learned that such a terrifying food as “living eggs” existed in this world.

But.

For tonight’s Ji Qingyou and Yu Qinjiu, happiness was the simplest thing.

They were happy just being with each other.

——Watching them lean on each other, Brittany thought sincerely.

She also noticed that Yu Qinjiu, who was gently leaning on her shoulder, seemed to be asleep. And at that moment, Ji Qingyou suddenly became very gentle. She gently reached out and adjusted the scarf that had been messed up by the wind.

Brittany hesitated, then looked at Ji Qingyou. “Are you still sad now?”

Ji Qingyou looked up in surprise. Her voice was very soft. “Why do you ask?”

Brittany glanced at Yu Qinjiu. “Because Debby said a lot of sad things happened to you yesterday. She wanted to make you happy. And because she wants it, I want it too.”

Ji Qingyou understood. “It seems you really like her.”

“Of course.” Brittany lifted her chin slightly, then urged Ji Qingyou to answer the question, as if completing a mission. “So, are you happy now?”

Ji Qingyou lowered her eyes, thought for a few seconds, and answered very seriously. “I think I am happier now than I have been any other day.”

“If I could, I would love to freeze this night.”

Brittany nodded, very childishly. “Then freeze it.”

Ji Qingyou didn’t answer. She just smiled at her. After a few seconds of silence, she suddenly asked, “Do you know when I was the saddest yesterday?”

Brittany froze. “When?”

Ji Qingyou, the one asking the question, fell silent at that moment. The wind gently brushed her dark eyes. After a very, very long silence, she said softly,

“Just like she said. A lot of things happened yesterday. They were all very hard for me. But I could hold it all in. Maybe you don’t know this, but I’m actually a very strong person. And a very selfish one. I don’t get beaten down easily by things that happen to other people.”

Saying this might make her seem cold and unfeeling.

But in reality, she wasn’t very good at clearly perceiving her own emotions. In this regard, “slow” would be an understatement. She sometimes even felt that “robot” was the most fitting nickname for her.

On the morning Yu Qinjiu flew to London, she did surgeries all morning. When she was washing her hands over and over, the only emotion she could feel in her heart was numbness.

When she learned of Yu Zhijiu’s death and saw Ji Xiruan crying, it felt like someone had hammered her numb heart. She knew it should hurt a lot. She knew a hole had been smashed in her heart. But she couldn’t really feel how much it hurt.

If someone were to describe her expression at that moment, they would probably use the word “cold”? Her expression was always hard for others to read, and hard for her to fully express herself.

When Qin Shuangchi took her to see Yu Muzhou’s affair. In the chaos, when the piece of glass cut her face, she felt a little nauseous, and also a little relieved. But by the time the wound was bandaged, the nausea had passed.

What really made her feel a huge wave of sadness, what made her drive around aimlessly, what made her buy a strawberry cream cake and make those three wishes by the roadside…

Was actually just a very small thing. So small that she still didn’t dare to admit it in front of Yu Qinjiu.

So small that she felt a little sorry for Yu Zhijiu, Ji Xiruan, and Qin Shuangchi.

“When I left my sister and got back in the car alone, I wanted to see the wound on my face. So I opened a storage compartment in the car. That’s when I saw something new.” Ji Qingyou said, her gaze falling on Yu Qinjiu’s closed lashes. Her voice was softened by the wind from the river.

“Inside was a blind box toy. Dark green. I had glanced at it a few times when I was eating one day. I didn’t get it that day. So she said she would give it to me.”

“So, the thing that made me saddest out of everything yesterday was…” She paused, her speech slowing down and becoming difficult. Her voice was extremely soft.

“When I saw that blind box, I didn’t know if the weather in London would make her feel cold.”