Chapter 37: What Will You Do in the Future? Part 2

The familiar voice reached Yan Zhi’an’s ears. Yan Zhi’an was slightly startled. She looked towards the source of the sound. The girl was wearing a fitted, narrow-sleeved outfit, her waist slender, her body containing strength. She had grown up in an instant.

“Why are you here?” Yan Zhi’an was surprised, taking two quick steps forward. The other smiled at her. “I got off duty. I learned a lot today. Commander Zhao is a good person. He taught me very seriously.”

Yan Zhi’an smiled. Zhao Fu came from a humble background and was promoted by the Female Emperor. He wouldn’t easily clash with the noble families. Moreover, this time the Yan family had given the Patrol Battalion clothing and stipends. A smart person wouldn’t clash with her. Besides, Xunqi herself had some ability.

“Come on, let’s go home.” Yan Zhi’an took the girl’s hand and boarded the carriage under the twilight.

Xunqi’s heart blossomed with joy. The soft, delicate hand held her wrist. She looked down, then squinted her eyes, and took the initiative to speak. “I’ll start patrolling tomorrow.”

“Be careful. I’ll have someone follow you.” Yan Zhi’an looked straight ahead, her heart confused, not knowing if this move was right or wrong.

How could Xunqi know her worries? She leaned against her, chattering on about the Patrol Battalion.

She spoke in detail, and Yan Zhi’an listened carefully. The Patrol Battalion was responsible for the safety of the capital. Zhao Fu had five thousand men under him, which was a small amount of military power. When Zhao Fu retired, the Patrol Battalion would be Xunqi’s.

The Female Emperor’s idea was to push Xunqi up, to let her hold military power. Since ancient times, the military has been the key. As long as she had military power, when she returned to the Imperial Clan, she could stand on equal footing with the Crown Prince.

The sky was pitch black. Lanterns were hung in various places in the Left Prime Minister’s Residence. The master had returned, and maidservants led the way with lanterns.

Chen Qingrong was waiting at the residence for Xunqi’s return. Seeing the two come back together, she knew Xunqi had gone to find her mother after getting off duty.

She paused, glanced at her daughter, and noticed her expression was indifferent. She decided not to say anything and just called them to sit down for dinner.

After dinner, Xunqi ran off. “I’m going to find Shiqi.”

She ran off happily, disappearing into the darkness in an instant. Yan Zhi’an glanced at her. Chen Qingrong suddenly spoke. “She’s too dependent on you.”

“Mother, is that a bad thing?” Yan Zhi’an came back to her senses, seeing her mother’s gloomy expression. Her heart felt a little cold. “What’s wrong with you?”

“It’s not good that she doesn’t think about marriage and just clings to you every day.” Chen Qingrong sighed, speaking earnestly. “I didn’t raise you, but I watched your sisters in Jinling grow up and get married. At fifteen, they should be engaged. By the next year or the year after, they should be married. There’s no reason for her to cling to you every day.”

“Mother, I want her to depend on me.” Yan Zhi’an made her intentions clear. She was different from Xunqi. Right now, they were mother and daughter. In the future, they would be sovereign and subject. If she pushed Xunqi away now, they wouldn’t build a deep bond. What would happen in the future?

An emperor is suspicious by nature. If she was good to Xunqi now, then in the future, day after day, Xunqi would remember her kindness. If there was a disagreement, Xunqi would naturally side with her. You reap what you sow. Was she supposed to push her away now, not care about her, and expect Xunqi to be obedient to her in the future?

She said, “Mother, Xunqi and I are mother and daughter. Her marriage isn’t as simple as you think. She’s still young and doesn’t understand feelings. If I force her to be with a man, will she be happy? Don’t be impatient about this. She’s at an age where she wants to improve herself. She should strive. Other women might marry and have children as you think, but she is different.”

Xunqi’s task was to become a wise ruler, not to be trapped in the inner courtyard, looking up at the four corners of the sky, waiting for her husband to return like an ordinary woman.

Her thoughts and actions were not understood by Chen Qingrong. Chen Qingrong only said, “If she were your own daughter, it would be fine for you to dote on her and be close to her. But if she’s not your daughter, you should be careful about boundaries.”

“Mother, you’re overthinking.” Yan Zhi’an suddenly understood. “Have you been listening to too much gossip outside? Look at Xunqi. She’s silly and dazed when she sees people. How could she be as bad as you think?”

Chen Qingrong’s old face flushed. She argued seriously with her daughter. “I’m just reminding you. There are many women in the capital who don’t marry. Don’t dig a pit for yourself.”

“Mother, if I were her older sister, what you say might make sense. But I’m fourteen years older than her. I can indeed be her mother. How could she have such thoughts?” Yan Zhi’an didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She felt ashamed. “You’re truly mistaken.”

“Wait.” Chen Qingrong stopped her, savoring the phrase ‘I’m fourteen years older than her. I can indeed be her mother.’ She thought it over carefully, and her heart sank. “She’s really not your daughter?”

At this point, Yan Zhi’an couldn’t continue to deceive her mother. She had no choice but to nod. “Right, she’s not. But rest assured, when she turns eighteen, she can leave.”

“Eighteen? Then you’ll be thirty-three. What will you do?” Chen Qingrong felt cold all over. She stood up and shouted angrily, “I knew there was a problem! I’m asking you, what will you do? You raise someone else’s daughter until she’s eighteen, then send her back. Who will take care of you in your old age? Yan Zhi’an, have you gone mad from being an official?”

Three years later, they’ll happily take their daughter back. And you? You’ll be left in this empty house, growing old, sick, and dying. Who will even look at you?

Chen Qingrong was both angry and heartbroken. Her heart felt cold. What was she doing?

“Why are you raising someone else’s daughter? Taking her in and out, paving her way, building her up. She’ll step on you to become famous. Yan Zhi’an, a person can be selfless, but how can they be selfless to this extent?”

Under Chen Qingrong’s angry scolding, Yan Zhi’an maintained a smile. Her long eyelashes trembled slightly. She slowly picked up her tea and took a small sip, then replied, “She will make the Yan family the number one family in the capital.”

“So what? You’ve wasted five years of your life. Yan Zhi’an, do you know what five years mean?” Chen Qingrong’s heart ached too much. Her face was pale. Her words were harsh, but they were more out of heartache. Heartache for her daughter, who had given so much for someone else.

She said, “You’ve not only wasted time for her, but also your reputation. Do you know what people are saying about you outside? Illicit union, pregnancy out of wedlock, utterly shameful. Yan Zhi’an, you were once so noble. The world pursued you. And now? You’ve become the object of everyone’s ridicule, the… the…”

She couldn’t say it anymore. She was so angry that tears streamed down her face. “Yan Zhi’an, are you trying to drive me mad?”

“Mother, each generation has its own blessings. Don’t worry. In three years, I will adopt one of my brother’s children, make them the Young Mistress, and teach them well.” Yan Zhi’an also felt guilty towards her mother. She said in a low voice, “I’m sorry for making you worry.”

“Is this just about worrying me? Look at what you’re doing! Why did you pick her up?” Chen Qingrong wept, her heart aching to the extreme. “She’s a wild wolf. The way she treated Third Young Master Sima, with such vicious methods, do you still expect her to be good to you in the future?”

“Why do you keep bringing up Third Young Master Sima?” Yan Zhi’an was very helpless, her tone softening. “I don’t expect anything in return from her, Mother.”

Xunqi’s constant remembrance of the Madwoman showed she was a kind person who repaid kindness. And Third Young Master Sima had coveted her. They couldn’t be compared.

“I don’t care. I don’t want to see her in this house. Yan Zhi’an, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop myself from cursing her and driving her away.” Chen Qingrong vented her hatred, glaring at her fiercely. “Send her away. Yan Zhi’an, don’t make me expose this.”

“Mother!” Yan Zhi’an’s aura showed slightly. “Don’t interfere in this matter. She is not an ordinary person. She was born into wealth and honor, fell into the mud, and I pulled her out. In the future, whether the Yan family is prominent or not depends on her.”

Hearing this, Chen Qingrong’s eyes lit up. “Is she Princess Zhaohui?”

Yan Zhi’an was silent.

Her silence was an admission. Chen Qingrong collapsed into her chair, crying and crying. “What a sin, what a sin.”

Yan Zhi’an: “…” What did sin have to do with it? The child wasn’t hers and the Female Emperor’s. Where did the sin come from?

Chen Qingrong buried her head and wept, her sobs loud, scaring Yan Zhi’an into a panic. She quickly dismissed the maidservants and closed the door. Listening to her mother’s cries, she was at a loss. She could only step forward and soothe her in a low voice. “Don’t cry.”

“Yan Zhi’an, get married. Get married this year!” Chen Qingrong suddenly looked up, her eyes full of tears, looking at her daughter. “I don’t care. You have to get married. Whoever you like, I’ll go propose for you. Even if you like a woman, it’s fine. Just get married. I’m not afraid of being laughed at. You can’t grow old alone…”

Then she burst into tears again. “Why is your life so bitter?”

Yan Zhi’an silently sighed. She didn’t try to persuade her anymore. She picked up the cold tea and took another sip, then said, “My daughter is already an adult. If I get married now, people will laugh.”

“I don’t care, I don’t care.” Chen Qingrong acted like a child, throwing a tantrum. “If you don’t get married, I’ll tell the world she’s not your daughter.”

“Go ahead. Will anyone believe you? Only when she returns to her clan and is recognized will anyone believe it.” Yan Zhi’an took a sip of water to moisten her throat. “Why do I need to get married? Is there anything wrong with how I live now? Look at me now. What about me dissatisfies you? I promise you, after Xunqi leaves, I’ll find a partner and live with them. How about that? In the future, Xunqi will also provide for my old age.”

Chen Qingrong sobbed. “I don’t believe a word you say! When you were twenty, you said you’d get married at twenty-five. When you were twenty-five, you said to wait. I never got to see you get married. Instead, I got to see you raising someone else’s daughter. Yan Zhi’an, you use the same tactics on me that you use on outsiders. How can I trust you?”

When lies are told too often, no one believes them. Chen Qingrong wouldn’t believe a single word of her promises.

Yan Zhi’an was deeply troubled. She had to deceive the young one and now the old one too. It was truly worrying. She crouched down to comfort her mother. “Trust Xunqi. In the future, she will treat me like a mother. She will…”

“I don’t believe a word!” Chen Qingrong interrupted her without thinking, sobbing. “These people in the Yan family look afraid of you, but do you think I don’t know what they’re like behind your back? Before you got married, they wanted you to adopt a child, to learn your skills. None of them wish you well. If you adopt one in the future, who will have a good life? When you’re sick and old, who will attend to you by your bedside? I’m not asking you to get married and have children. I just hope you’ll have someone to look after you in the future.”

“Am I wrong? Those wolves in the Yan family, after you die, they’ll probably dig up your grave to see if there’s a mine in your bones. You expect them to take care of you? You’re dreaming, Yan Zhi’an.”