In the end, Shen Yuezhuang stayed the night at the Longevity Palace.
The night was clear, the stars sparse and scattered.
Liu Yun emerged from her medicinal bath, clad only in a simple white under-robe, and walked slowly to the bedside.
Lying on the bed with her back to Liu Yun was Shen Yuezhuang.
Plagued by troubled thoughts, Shen Yuezhuang had lain awake for a long time. When she caught the familiar, bitter scent of medicine, she didn’t turn around. She simply moved sluggishly towards the inside of the bed.
Her back was dejected and listless, like a little fox cub that had lost a battle, every strand of her hair seeming to radiate grievance and pitifulness.
Just looking at her made Liu Yun’s heart ache and soften. She bent down and lay down on the outer edge of the bed. After a moment’s hesitation, she reached out an arm and pulled Shen Yuezhuang close by the waist.
It was an embrace with almost no distance between them. Using the excuse of her poison flaring up and the pretext of comforting Shen Yuezhuang, she concealed the illicit feelings and thoughts flawlessly.
Shen Yuezhuang felt the scent of herbs envelop her as the bed dipped behind her. Then she was held tightly in a pair of arms.
The embrace carried the warm moisture of a bath, along with a strength that made her feel safe. Just as she was about to turn around, her back suddenly stiffened.
“Sss!”
Liu Yun was also startled into pausing her movement. However, she quickly recovered, placing one hand on the small of Shen Yuezhuang’s back. “Still hurts?”
Shen Yuezhuang nodded. Only after Liu Yun slowly began to massage the area did she relax again.
The hall was very quiet. So quiet that only the sound of their breathing intertwined. Liu Yun considered for a moment, then said, “Tomorrow, I’ll have Ruixue come and apologize to you.”
An apology was only right. Regardless of whether Shen Yuezhuang was the legitimate daughter of the Marquis Manor or a Rank 5b official, a palace maid like Ruixue shoving her was excessively out of line and improper!
Yet, for some reason, hearing this made Shen Yuezhuang feel that Liu Yun was signaling a closer relationship with Ruixue. She remembered when she herself used to cause trouble and make mistakes, Liu Yun would use the same perfunctory, polite tone with others: “Tomorrow, I’ll have Shen Yuezhuang come to your residence and apologize.”
This was a tone of authority, a tone of deciding on behalf of others. She used to make decisions for Shen Yuezhuang, and now she was making decisions for Ruixue.
Shen Yuezhuang’s eyes stung, and she inexplicably wanted to cry again.
She couldn’t even tell now whether Liu Yun was happy or not!
She had become someone Liu Yun needed to be perfunctory and polite with!
Even with big eyes, she couldn’t hold back the tears. Her breathing became ragged, and with a choked sob, she dampened the square pillow.
Shen Yuezhuang was the kind of person who could drive you half to death when she was making a fuss, but when she was being obedient, she was so endearing it tugged at your heartstrings. Now, crying so pitifully, it was enough to melt anyone’s heart!
The ache in Liu Yun’s heart spread all the way to her throat, and her voice couldn’t help but become a bit flustered. “Does it hurt that badly? I’ll call for the imperial physician.”
Just as Liu Yun started to get up, Shen Yuezhuang suddenly turned over and grabbed her hand.
She tried hard to open her eyes wide, attempting to hold back her tears, and asked stubbornly, “Were you really angry today?”
The answer to this question seemed beyond doubt, but what was even more certain was that Liu Yun had never intended for Shen Yuezhuang to understand her true feelings!
After all, with this kind of thing, if it succeeded, the future wouldn’t be smooth, and if it failed, it would only create more estrangement.
Liu Yun was ruthless with herself. She was able to abandon the peace and safety of her later years to enter the palace, to sacrifice her own body in exchange for a promising future!
If she could be this way with herself, what about others?
However, the only bit of reluctance Liu Yun had was reserved for Shen Yuezhuang. She couldn’t bear to let Shen Yuezhuang suffer the hardship of an unfulfilled life.
Few things in the world go smoothly; it all comes down to weighing options and making choices. Under that weighing, a stark reality was that even if Shen Yuezhuang married a husband who didn’t suit her, she still had the Shen and Huo families to back her up.
But what were the two of them, in the grand scheme of things?
Not to mention what the world would think, the moment the Shen and Huo families, her former support and reliance, got wind of it, they would be the first to turn against her.
Liu Yun was alone in this world. She couldn’t bear to have Shen Yuezhuang accompany her in being alone.
That being the case, there was no need for Shen Yuezhuang to know about this anger. Besides, no matter how great the fire of jealousy was, Shen Yuezhuang’s tears had already extinguished it completely. How could she still find the heart to blame her?
Looking at Shen Yuezhuang’s tear-streaked face, Liu Yun thought for a moment, and only said, “A little bit.”
Saying “not at all” would be too fake. “A little bit” should be just right!
She never expected that after she said this, Shen Yuezhuang would cry even harder.
It was only now that Shen Yuezhuang began to vaguely understand that compared to the injustice of being falsely accused just now, she seemed to be even more grieved by the gradual drifting apart from her old friend.
She had to admit that she couldn’t read Liu Yun anymore. The Liu Yun of now.
Shen Yuezhuang was defeated by this realization. She covered her eyes and brows with an embroidered handkerchief, crying her heart out.
“Before, I clearly, clearly could tell!”
She could tell whether Liu Yun was happy or not, whether she was pretending or sincere, whether she liked or disliked something…
Shen Yuezhuang’s shoulders shook violently. Through her choked sobs, Liu Yun could vaguely make out the meaning.
Liu Yun was rarely at such a loss.
From what Shen Yuezhuang meant, she obviously wasn’t crying from the pain. She said she used to be able to tell.
Tell what? And what couldn’t she tell now?
Liu Yun was also getting confused. She propped herself up on her arm and leaned over to Shen Yuezhuang’s side.
She sighed, a trace of anxiety creasing her tightly furrowed brow. Her tone was helplessly gentle. “Stop crying. Tomorrow at the morning court, the Emperor will surely announce the matter of the debts. You might have to face him at court. What if you go to court for the first time with your eyes swollen from crying? Hmm?”
Shen Yuezhuang couldn’t care less about what those at court thought of her, but she really couldn’t cry anymore.
Crying was useless. Since the drift apart was already a fact, all she had to do was try her best to mend it!
Shen Yuezhuang lifted her head high, pressed the handkerchief firmly against her eyes, wiped away the tears, and then let out a long breath.
Since it took her several years back then to read the very prickly Liu Yun of the past, now that she was older, she could surely use less time to understand the current Liu Yun!
She pulled the handkerchief away. Her eyes, having just cried profusely, were like the sky after a rain, a clear, moist pool.
Her voice was still very choked, but at least she had stopped crying. Liu Yun was just breathing a sigh of relief when she heard Shen Yuezhuang say, with a thick nasal tone, “You, you answer a few questions for me, and I’ll, I’ll stop crying!”
Looking at her, Liu Yun felt both exasperated and amused. But seeing how swollen her eyes were, her exasperation turned to a touch of heartache, and she finally agreed.
She leaned back against the headboard, beckoned to Shen Yuezhuang, then pulled the blanket over them. “Go ahead.”
Rarely having such a perfectly justified opportunity to be close, Liu Yun didn’t miss it. She held Shen Yuezhuang’s shoulder and listened to her sniffle as she asked, “Why were you angry?”
Liu Yun skillfully soothed Shen Yuezhuang’s back, then produced the excuse she had prepared.
“Isn’t it because you have no sense of proportion? What is this business about overdue debts and becoming a live-in son-in-law of the Shen family? Marriage is a major affair, how can you treat it so flippantly!”
She spoke with righteous indignation, and her words were perfectly reasonable. Shen Yuezhuang couldn’t find any fault with them, but she still felt that it was a bit of a storm in a teacup for Liu Yun to be so angry that her poison flared up over such a small matter.
She argued, unconvinced, “He was the one who refused to marry me back then, preferring to jump into the river and die! How could he possibly agree to marry me now, just for two thousand taels?”
If she hadn’t been certain that Jiang Huan didn’t want to marry her, how would she have dared to use the marriage as a threat?
But Liu Yun said, “Does wanting or not wanting matter? The deed was signed. If he really can’t produce the money, what will you do?”
How could he not have the money?
Jiang Huan wasn’t particularly outstanding among the profligates of the capital. He wasn’t that shameless, nor did he have the nerve to bully others. But there was one thing about him that had spread widely in the capital: he had once bought a Haidongqing falcon for over three thousand taels!
It was an exceptionally beautiful falcon, sold to him by a merchant from the north. The merchant was only staying in the capital for three days, and within those three days, Jiang Huan had come up with three thousand taels!
Jiang Huan loved that falcon. He took it almost everywhere. Later, thinking it was tamed, he took it hunting. Unexpectedly, it never flew back.
This incident had become quite a joke among their circle. Everyone said the merchant had just used that trick to swindle money!
If he could come up with three thousand taels in three days, how could he not produce two thousand taels?
Shen Yuezhuang was both angry and confident. But now that her voice was choked with sobs, she couldn’t speak fluently, and the whole story was too long. She could only say indignantly, “I’ll, I’ll tell you tomorrow. Anyway, he definitely has it!”
Liu Yun was amused by her. She sighed helplessly and rubbed her forehead. “Since I’ve answered your question, can you sleep now?”
“No!” Shen Yuezhuang didn’t move and asked again, “And last time, when I was staying at Uncle Yang’s place, A Sang said you came by at night. Were you angry that night?”
Liu Yun knew what she was referring to. It was naturally the time she had gotten drunk and said she wanted to marry her…
The smile on Liu Yun’s lips faded slightly, a faint bitterness showing. “No.”
Shen Yuezhuang asked again, “Why?”
The faint bitterness on Liu Yun’s face dissipated. She seemed to understand what Shen Yuezhuang meant by “I could clearly tell before.” Her eyes, looking at the top of Shen Yuezhuang’s head, softened with a warm touch of emotion.
Seeing that she didn’t answer, Shen Yuezhuang looked up from her waist into Liu Yun’s eyes. “Why?”
Liu Yun countered, “Do I need a reason not to be angry?”
“…” Shen Yuezhuang thought for a moment. “Alright. At the Precious Flower Temple, when I fell, were you angry then?”
Liu Yun didn’t avoid her gaze as she met her eyes. She nodded. This time, without needing to be asked for the reason, she said, “Climbing trees and scaling walls – do you think getting hurt is a game?”
Shen Yuezhuang wanted to say that A Sang was highly skilled in martial arts, and that with her around, she wouldn’t get hurt!
But the fact was, she had kicked A Sang down that day, and she had indeed fallen. So, lacking any grounds for rebuttal, she shut her mouth and didn’t argue.
But what Shen Yuezhuang really wanted to ask, of course, went beyond this. After this long buildup, she finally asked, “That day when we were returning to the temple, I was in the carriage. Were you angry?”
A glint of unreadable darkness flickered in Liu Yun’s eyes. She silently clenched her fist, hesitation rising within her again.
Clearly, Shen Yuezhuang was not at all enlightened about matters of the heart. In fact, she relied quite heavily on her, this married older sister who was both her half-teacher and half-friend.
She trusted her completely, just as the Emperor had said: “Anything you tell her to do, she’ll do.”
She trusted her wholeheartedly, to the point where it was an unconscious instinct, requiring no thought.
And in such a situation, as long as she was willing, she could easily deceive Shen Yuezhuang.
Moreover, she was now the Empress Dowager, the legal mother of the Son of Heaven!
Empresses Dowager throughout history had some… people. Of course, they couldn’t be compared to her!
But what if she was careful, and didn’t let the world know…
Liu Yun’s heart was pounding fast and hard, hitting her chest so that her ribs ached.
She came back to her senses under Shen Yuezhuang’s urging, and let out a long, slow breath.
Her gaze dropped down to a strand of Shen Yuezhuang’s hair that had fallen loose over her. She said in a flat, calm voice, “Things like that have always been done only between close husband and wife. You were so excessively forward that day, how can you blame me for being angry?”
But Shen Yuezhuang looked unconcerned. “At the Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion, there are plenty of people who are forward! It doesn’t, it doesn’t make them all husband and wife, does it?”
Liu Yun’s gaze sharpened as she looked at Shen Yuezhuang. “Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion? Then what do you take me for? A customer seeking pleasure, or a flower girl selling herself?”
“No!” Shen Yuezhuang denied it outright.
She was only trying to say that such things weren’t exclusive to husband and wife, but Liu Yun was clearly angered by this comparison again.
She let out a cold laugh. “No? Then can the two of us be husband and wife?”
Liu Yun’s heart was beating faster and faster. As she said this, she could almost feel her heart pounding in her throat!
What was she hoping for? What was she leading towards?
Liu Yun couldn’t say clearly, just like her finicky attitude towards Shen Yuezhuang’s potential husbands. In the end, Miss Shen’s marriage had become the laughingstock of the capital. Liu Yun herself couldn’t tell if she was pursuing perfection or if it was her own private desire to obstruct.
Of course, Shen Yuezhuang hadn’t meant to compare Liu Yun to a flower girl. Naturally, she didn’t think that a single kiss meant she and Liu Yun were husband and wife.
But she knew Liu Yun was angry, and the reason was that she had been too forward!
Shen Yuezhuang looked up, giving up on arguing. “Then how can I make you not angry?”
Liu Yun countered, “I entered the palace that day, and you resented me for many years. So today, I ask you: what can I do to make you let go of that past anger?”
The day Shen Yuezhuang returned to the city, Liu Yun had known everything she said to A Sang in the carriage. Naturally, she knew Shen Yuezhuang’s stance: the matter had already happened and was settled, nothing could make her forgive.
But Shen Yuezhuang said, “If you had left the palace with me that night, I wouldn’t be angry.”
“…” Liu Yun let out a snort of laughter. “Then if you hadn’t kissed me that day, I wouldn’t be angry either.”
Shen Yuezhuang frowned.
How was this the same? Entering the palace was many years ago, but what happened in the carriage was only a few days earlier!
It happened recently, so of course there should be a way to make up for it!
Shen Yuezhuang sighed, her expression turning serious. “Seriously, if you’re really that upset, then why not be forward right back at me?”
Shen Yuezhuang thought simply. Liu Yun stared at her for a long moment.
Forward right back? As if she could say that!
But it was because she felt guilty in her heart that she saw this “repayment” as humiliating. If her conscience was clear, then kissing her back would simply be kissing her back, which would be fair, wouldn’t it?
She should appear to have a clear conscience. She should let Shen Yuezhuang think she had a clear conscience. She… was almost convincing herself.
Shen Yuezhuang didn’t know about her inner hesitation. She simply said, “If you punch me, I punch you back. So if I kiss you, you kiss me back, and that’s… Mmm.”
Before she could finish, Liu Yun flipped over and covered her.
She grabbed Shen Yuezhuang’s wrist. Her lips just barely touched hers, then stopped.
Even Liu Yun herself could tell she was trembling badly!
But Shen Yuezhuang was a little minx. She probably thought Liu Yun should lick her back, like she had done that day, so she reached out the tip of her tongue and gently traced Liu Yun’s lips.
Liu Yun felt a numbness spread to her lower abdomen. She kissed her deeply, pushing past her already not-so-firm teeth and slipping in.
Her thumb, which had been holding her wrist, brushed across her palm. Shen Yuezhuang let out a muffled sound and tightened her grip on that finger.
Compared to Shen Yuezhuang’s inexperienced, shallow playfulness, Liu Yun’s ferocity, like a wild beast springing from its cage, soon left Shen Yuezhuang breathless.
The corners of Shen Yuezhuang’s eyes grew moist again. But suddenly, she pushed Liu Yun away with a panicked look. Panting for breath, she said, with a hint of shy shame and embarrassment, “I need to use the chamber pot.”
Leave the palace?
Liu Yun’s madness instantly reined itself in. Her breath was still ragged. Looking at Shen Yuezhuang’s lips, which were glistening, her eyes darted away, filled with sudden regret and self-blame.
She scared her.
Liu Yun avoided Shen Yuezhuang’s gaze and made a move to lie down.
She put on an air of nothing having happened, like she was about to sleep right now. Her voice was hoarse. “Tomorrow, then. The palace gates are locked for the night; it’s too late.”
Shen Yuezhuang’s expression grew even more urgent. “How can I wait until tomorrow? I’ll die of holding it in!”
Liu Yun: “???”
In her panic, Shen Yuezhuang, by some subconscious miracle, understood Liu Yun’s confusion. She leaned close to Liu Yun’s ear and whispered, “I need to go to the chamber pot. I mean, I have to pee!”
Liu Yun: “…”
