Chen Yi and Xu Yan had booked the same hotel they stayed in three years ago.
Chen Yi had always been hung up on one thing.
“Why isn’t it the same front desk clerk as before?”
Xu Yan laughed at her. “You think it’s like one of those cushy government jobs back home—an iron rice bowl?”
Chen Yi huffed.
“What’s the big deal? Why does it have to be her?”
“It’s nothing—” Chen Yi drew out the word, hesitating for a moment before confessing her true feelings. “I was just thinking that if it had been her, I could’ve asked whether she still remembered what I wrote on that card back then.”
Xu Yan laughed so hard she shook all over.
Chen Yi shot her a playful glare. “Wife! You’re still laughing? It’s all your fault for not telling me!”
“I didn’t realize you were still so fixated on it.” Xu Yan reached up and dabbed at the tear in the corner of her eye. “You’re so cute.”
“Then just tell me!”
“No way.” Xu Yan teased her like a naughty big sister toying with a naive little kid. “Rack your brains a bit more.”
Anxious, Chen Yi lunged forward to tickle Xu Yan’s sides.
Xu Yan dodged and retreated, step by step, until she toppled backward onto the bed. Afraid she might hurt herself, Chen Yi’s first instinct was to cradle the back of her head while wrapping an arm around her waist. But Xu Yan gave her collar a firm yank, pulling her down onto the bed with her.
The playful scuffle between the young couple suddenly took on an entirely different tone.
Laughter shifted into flirtation.
By the time they finished their romp, it was already afternoon.
Though the Calais Strait lay in northern France, separated from Britain by the sea, today’s weather was far too fine for the region. The sun beamed down generously, lavishing warmth and happiness on everyone below without a hint of restraint.
Chen Yi and Xu Yan had changed into swimsuits beneath their casual clothes, slipped their feet into easy slide-on boat shoes, and strolled hand in hand along the path.
They slipped past the crowds to that very, very first spot.
Xu Yan could no longer recall exactly which cliff edge she had sat on back then. But Chen Yi remembered. The image of where she and Su Dai had jumped into the sea was etched deeply in her mind. Looking left from that position revealed the place where Xu Yan had been.
That spot was now occupied by a French family—a husband and wife with their two children, who had set out a full picnic spread.
They found a perfect place to settle, one that caught the sun while offering a view of the sea.
The ocean stretched out vast and boundless, expansive enough to embrace everything. Beneath the sunlight, it looked so calm and gentle, its rippling waves resembling a shimmering pearl anthem to romance.
Chen Yi leaned against Xu Yan’s shoulder, idly toying with her fingers. She let out a yawn, shifted into a more comfortable position, lay down with her head in Xu Yan’s lap, and drifted off to sleep.
Xu Yan squinted her eyes and gazed into the distance, lost in thought about who knew what.
When her phone rang, Xu Yan had no intention of answering at first. But upon seeing it was Xu Qing calling, she picked up.
It was a video call.
Xu Qing’s voice came from the other end. “I’m back on Christmas break. I’ll swing by to pick up Xu Yixiao shortly. Why aren’t you home? At work? Where are you? Want to grab dinner?”
Xu Yan was holding her phone angled to her right side, so Xu Qing saw only her and missed Chen Yi entirely.
Taking a closer look, Xu Qing realized her sister’s surroundings didn’t look right.
“Where are you?”
“France,” Xu Yan whispered.
Xu Qing’s brow twitched at those two words.
“You went back again?”
“Xu Yan—you—”
“Shh.” Xu Yan turned down the volume on her phone and swiveled the camera, giving Xu Qing a view of the girl asleep in her lap.
Xu Qing nearly choked and passed out on the spot.
“Xu Yan??”
A torrent of scenarios flashed through her mind.
Had her sister lured this poor girl into some kind of trap?
What the hell was going on??
Xu Qing recognized Chen Yi immediately.
She had seen those photos.
“We’re dating,” Xu Yan said.
Xu Qing couldn’t muster a laugh. “You used your pretty face to trick her?”
“Does she know about… those things?”
Xu Qing was deeply worried.
Xu Yan hummed in affirmation, her fingertips gently stroking through Chen Yi’s hair.
“Sis, she knows everything.”
Xu Qing wasn’t buying it. “You’re not messing with me, are you?”
Xu Yan replied, “Believe it or not.”
Xu Qing stared at her in stunned silence, utterly speechless.
“Crazy,” she muttered to herself. “And she’s a fool too.”
How could she stay with Xu Yan after finding out?
Xu Yan just smiled.
Perhaps Xu Qing was right.
She and Chen Yi were the madwoman and the fool.
But maybe, in this world, a rational sort of madness paired with pure-hearted foolishness could last a lifetime.
“Don’t grin like that—it gives me the creeps.” Xu Qing shuddered, goosebumps prickling across her skin. “Fine, I’ll go get Yixiao. Hanging up.”
“You—Merry Christmas.”
“Sis, you too.” Recalling something Chen Yi had once said, Xu Yan gave a light cough and added into the phone, “These years… thanks.”
Xu Qing, like her sister, had never been good at expressing emotions.
Hearing those words from Xu Yan caught her off guard. After a beat, her eyes grew warm. All she could do was mutter “going nuts again” before hanging up with a sharp click.
Chen Yi was completely oblivious to what had transpired, sleeping in a deep, hazy slumber. When she finally stirred awake, her yawn was still trailing off.
Thanks to the glorious weather, the number of people coming to jump off the cliffs had swelled.
Eager to give it a go, Chen Yi turned to Xu Yan.
Xu Yan stood up. “Let’s do it together.”
They trailed the crowd to the edge of a low cliff and joined the queue.
Chen Yi was a natural at this sort of thing—bold as brass and cheering along with the others as they sized up the jumps ahead.
Xu Yan was a different story.
The only previous time she had stood on a cliff’s edge, she had been gripped by a desire to die.
Even now, an absurd notion flickered through her mind.
If she and Chen Yi plummeted off the cliff together, swallowed by the sea and sinking into the abyss of the world… that ending wouldn’t be so bad. Nothing could tear them apart then. Not even death—it would claim them both at once.
But in the next instant, as the madness briefly surged, Xu Yan reined in the thought roiling in her head.
She turned to gaze at Chen Yi, whose smile shone bright and radiant.
Chen Yi took her hand and led her to the cliff edge. Concerned strangers called out warnings from around them, but Xu Yan heard none of it. Her eyes held only Chen Yi. Her heart harbored no fear—only the resolve that if Chen Yi jumped, she would follow.
“Xu Yan?”
Xu Yan snapped back to the present.
“Want to jump?” Chen Yi asked.
Xu Yan said she did want to try.
The urge had first stirred three years ago, when she watched Chen Yi and Su Dai make the leap. Back then, Chen Yi’s smile had outshone the sun itself. Just as it did today.
“I’ll go first?”
Xu Yan said sure.
She watched as Chen Yi took a couple of steps back, built up speed, and launched herself into the sea.
Xu Yan’s heart clenched tight.
She recognized just how ridiculous that dark thought had been.
In that moment, she realized she wanted no calamity to befall Chen Yi—not even one of her own making. Chen Yi deserved to live forever free and unburdened, shining with her own light.
Love should never lead toward death. It should mean facing the world’s vast expanse together—embracing it, adventuring through it.
She and Chen Yi had many, many years ahead of them.
They ought to explore the world side by side.
The stomach-dropping weightlessness of the fall was broken by the impact of the water, followed by the crush of pressure all around. Xu Yan felt a pair of hands grab her in the sea. She forced her eyes open underwater to see Chen Yi towing her toward the surface. Xu Yan kicked hard to rise, breaking through with a splash as she flung the water from her hair.
“How was it? You okay?” Chen Yi asked, full of concern.
Xu Yan said nothing. Instead, she cupped Chen Yi’s face and kissed her.
Beneath her pounding heart lurked both fear and exhilaration.
The onlookers nearby erupted in cheers.
Someone up on the cliff even showered them with flower petals in enthusiastic celebration.
Xu Yan broke into an amused smile, ended the kiss, and swam with Chen Yi back to shore.
The moment her feet touched sand, she collapsed flat on her back.
Worried she might be unwell, Chen Yi hovered over her, but Xu Yan tugged her hand, urging her to lie down too.
“Tired?”
Xu Yan shook her head.
She stared straight up at the sun blazing overhead, its intense heat and glare nearly forcing her eyes shut.
“Chen Yi,” she said suddenly.
“Yeah?”
“You know I love you, right?”
Chen Yi grinned. “I know.”
“Let’s live good lives together until we’re eighty.”
Chen Yi blinked. “…Huh?”
“Why so out of the blue?”
Xu Yan wheedled in a rare display of petulance. “Just promise me.”
“Okay, okay.” Chen Yi gave in indulgently. “But that’s not entirely up to me, you know!”
“You’re right.” Xu Yan recognized how unreasonable and childish her demand had been. “Doesn’t matter,” she declared. “You promised.”
“Alright, sis. Forget eighty—let’s aim for a hundred. We’ll be a couple of old ladies by then.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being old ladies.”
Xu Yan imagined it: if that day ever came, the two of them parked in wheelchairs, basking in the sun. She would surely look back on this very moment, lying side by side on the beach as sunlight enveloped them both.
She wanted to live fully with Chen Yi, to forge countless more memories worth cherishing. Life wasn’t about eternity but about these fleeting instants—and she wanted Chen Yi in every single one.
Those agonizing moments from her past had been scorched by the sun into grains of sand, scattered away by the sea breeze. All that lingered in her life now was the woman holding her hand.
Xu Yan could even feel grateful for every hurt the past had inflicted.
Without that suffering, she never would have realized just how precious Chen Yi had always been to her—from three years ago right up to this very day.
Maybe Chen Yi was right.
Those who are lost bring fortune, while those possessed are fate.
And she had already claimed her fate.
~~~
Xu Yan had thought the little card business could stay hidden forever. Little did she know that, upon returning to the hotel for dinner that very day, Chen Yi, on a whim, ordered the same cake that had been chosen for her before.
When the cake arrived, it came with a small card printed in English.
Chen Yi remembered it on the spot.
“This is the line I wrote!”
Xu Yan pressed a hand to her forehead, inwardly cursing her oversight.
Upon questioning the hotel staff, they explained that the former front desk employee who had delivered the cake that day had taken a real liking to the sentence Chen Yi wrote. From then on, whenever someone ordered that cake, the hotel would include such a card.
That you exist is a perpetual surprise which is life.
Chen Yi had been idly flipping through Tagore’s poetry collection at the time and, struck by inspiration while writing the card, had adapted a line from the famous author.
Your existence is a perpetual miracle of life.
“That line I wrote back then was really good,” Chen Yi said, admiring her own words with an utterly adorable expression.
Xu Yan propped her chin on her hand, gazing at her with eyes full of affection. “It really was.”
She herself had started crying the moment she read those words.
Because before that, the only phrase she had ever heard from others was this: Xu Yan, you’re nothing but a burden, a deadweight. Your very presence only weighs others down.
Her parents had believed it. Her first love had too.
Later on, she had even said it to herself: If you bring no value to the world, there’s no reason for you to exist.
That all changed when she met Chen Yi.
Chen Yi showed her that love required no justification—it wasn’t some rare privilege. She could be worthless, cowardly, evasive, or even unhinged. Yet Chen Yi loved her simply for being herself, and nothing more.
Because she existed, love existed.
And she felt exactly the same way about Chen Yi.
