Chapter 4: Meeting

After two weeks of training, she was officially on duty. The night before her first day, her cousin took her out to a street food stall. Her cousin didn’t eat much, but she drank plenty. By the time she was talking, her tongue was thick and her chest was bouncing. A few college boys at the next table kept stealing glances. Feeling their eyes, her cousin winked at them. She rested her hand on the table edge, one strap of her top slipping down her shoulder, and flicked her hair — every inch the mature seductress.

The college boys couldn’t handle it. They whipped their heads around, shoving each other and giggling, talking about locker-room things while their eyes still kept finding their way back to her cousin.

Ding Sishu sat beside her, munching a beef skewer, grinning like an idiot. “Sis, this iron-plate chives is so freaking good!”

One plate of stir-fried chives had turned Ding Sishu’s cheeks bright red. Her cousin rolled her eyes and pulled her strap back up, all traces of the seductress gone. “Done?”

“About seventy percent.” Ding Sishu gave a “bashful” smile.

Her cousin swept her eyes across the table. “Have you never eaten chives before?”

“Oh, Africa’s chives can’t compare to China’s.”

“You seem to think everything tastes good.”

“Aw, stop.”

Looking at Ding Sishu’s flushed cheeks, her cousin said, “I heard chives are an ‘aphrodisiac.'”

When He He called to say Ding Sishu had eaten chives and had an allergic reaction, Tiantian paused. “I heard chives are an ‘aphrodisiac.'”

“WHAT?! Ding Sishu took viagra?!”

When Ding Sishu got back, the other bodyguards swarmed around her. “Heard you spent the whole morning on an IV.”

“You okay?” As they spoke, their eyes kept drifting down to Ding Sishu’s crotch.

Staring at the crotch.

Like they expected Ding Sishu to whip out some huge secret from down there.

“Who said I took viagra?!” A little wind becomes a big storm. Rumors spread like wildfire. She was a woman — why the hell would she take viagra?!

“Keep your voice down!” The bodyguards clamped a hand over her mouth. This girl, yelling at the top of her lungs like she was afraid people wouldn’t hear.

“My cousin likes to joke — you know how she is.” Muffled by the hands over her mouth, Ding Sishu’s voice came out stuffy. “The food stall was unsanitary, and I got diarrhea. My cousin thought it was an allergic reaction.”

The bodyguards exchanged glances and winked at Ding Sishu. “Of course, we understand.”

What do you “understand”?! Is what you understand the same as what I’m saying?

So annoying.

Ding Sishu was the youngest in the training class — and the rest of the class loved teasing the youngest.

At dinner, Tiantian sidled over with a sickly-sweet smile and pulled a pink thermos from his bag. It was extremely pink, covered in stickers of pouting lips. Tiantian ladled her out a bowl of porridge. Something smelled off. She took a sip and immediately identified it.

Tiantian twisted the hem of his shirt, all coy and bashful. “If you like it, I’ll cook it for you again tomorrow, muah.”

“…No thanks.” Ding Sishu stared at the chives floating in the porridge.

If she didn’t think about it, fine. But the moment she did, it felt like Tiantian was sending her some kind of signal.

“You’re actually pretty impressive — you actually managed to win over Tiantian.” At last night’s late-night snack, her cousin had marveled. Then she’d told Ding Sishu to keep up the good work.

Keep up what good work? She wasn’t a stone butch! The world was big — back in Africa, Ding Sishu had heard plenty of stories about stone butches and their wild bottoms. Whatever positions those stone butches claimed to do, Ding Sishu rejected them all.

Ding Sishu just wanted to be a simple, conservative lesbian.

She was supposed to meet her new boss today, but the hospitalization had messed that up. When Tiantian told her, he also passed along the new boss’s “well wishes.”

Ding Sishu’s heart quivered. This was her first job back in China — of course she treasured it. Two weeks of training, working from before dawn to after dusk. No, no, no. Ding Sishu wiped away a tear. Please don’t let her new boss have the impression that she likes eating “viagra.”

Her new boss had a packed schedule. Everyone came and went in a rush. She stayed in Beijing for a day, then flew off to the United States. She came back a week later.

The boss was a famous domestic actress with several rotating teams of bodyguards. Ding Sishu was assigned to the team covering her return. As the new girl, she naturally couldn’t get close to the boss. She started on the outer perimeter.

Then she got a call from the captain and squeezed inward.

The captain had spotted a suspicious fan — one of them looked shifty, acting strangely. Ding Sishu looked over. The fan’s eyes were darting around.

Ding Sishu felt a surge of excitement.

A chance to “earn merit”!

The suspicious fan wore a studious pair of glasses and looked like a female college student. Exactly the type that would be the most deceptive. The boss was walking straight toward them. The fan reached into her backpack and pulled out something that looked like an explosive pack.

Ding Sishu lunged forward, razor-quick, snatching the explosive pack from the college girl’s hands. Courageous Ding Sishu — at that moment she was a charging anti-Japanese war hero. As the crowd gasped, Ding Sishu rolled two and a half times, found an open patch of ground, and hurled the explosive pack away.

It wouldn’t have drawn much attention, if not for Ding Sishu’s two dramatic rolls — even the photographers with their DSLRs froze in shock.

Ding Sishu’s prone position was textbook.

The only problem was, when the “explosive pack” hit the ground, the explosion that followed wasn’t an explosion. It was a splat.

“My—!” The bespectacled college girl stared at her empty hand, then wailed at the top of her lungs. “Cake!”

Ding Sishu whipped her head around and saw the media people’s mouths all forming perfect little O’s.

Through the sea of people, she couldn’t see her boss’s expression.

She dropped her head onto the pavement.

Her boss, who hadn’t been on the hot search in ages, had received a small boost — courtesy of Ding Sishu, today.

“Sis.” Ding Sishu spoke meekly, shrinking into herself. “Want some water?”

He He crossed her arms over her chest and stomped her foot hard against the floor. “You had great camera presence today.”

“It’s not my fault. How was I supposed to know the boss just took a spy film?” Ding Sishu said. “You didn’t see how realistic that explosive pack looked.”

“That’s just the alertness I developed in Africa!” Ding Sishu muttered.

Her cousin crushed the plastic cup in her hand with a crisp crack. Ding Sishu tucked her head in, not daring to make a sound.

“That video on the hot search — do you have the guts to watch it a second time?” Her cousin said.

“If people weren’t around, I could’ve thrown that ‘explosive pack’ in three seconds.” Ding Sishu said.

“…” Her cousin tossed the plastic cup into the trash. “I’m tired.”

“Then I’ll close the door for you.”

At least she was a good kid who closed doors behind her. Cousin He He let out a little laugh — then jumped up and beat Ding Sishu senseless.

“Is your sister forty this year? She’s so volatile.” Tiantian was also shrinking in the hallway, head tucked down.

Ding Sishu thought about it. “Almost.”

When her cousin found out, she grabbed Ding Sishu by the ear and screamed into it. “I’M THIRTY-FUCKING-THREE! ALMOST! YOUR! ASS!”

“The boss doesn’t blame you.” Tiantian comforted Ding Sishu. “Bodyguards are supposed to have a certain level of vigilance.”

“The boss is a good person.”

“I know, right?” Tiantian said. “Don’t listen to the rumors out there. Our boss is very approachable.”

During training, Ding Sishu had heard rumors about the boss. She’d gotten famous early; she was a bit cold. During the day, Ding Sishu had thought it was over — in her boss’s eyes, she’d surely be nothing but a subordinate who liked “viagra” and “stealing the spotlight.”

Your boss is a good person? What could be more touching than that?

This.

Like your boss being the woman you had a one-night stand with.

Ding Sishu figured no one on earth could be slower than her.

She didn’t recognize Big Star Nian from seeing Nian Qiao in person. She recognized her from a company meeting, when they played Nian Qiao’s promo reel. In the promo video, Big Star Nian was heavily made up.

Where had she seen this face?

Ding Sishu’s tongue nearly lashed out of her mouth.

She thought back to that night in Africa — the woman who had been on top of her.

Before this, Ding Sishu had never seen Nian Qiao up close.

Talk about thinking of the devil. Right after watching the video, Ding Sishu’s legs went weak. Before she could even find the door, she walked straight into Big Star Nian.

Up close.

And crystal clear.

It was her. The woman she’d gone eighty yuan in the hole for.

“Dingding, what are you standing there gaping for? Greet Miss Nian!” Tiantian, standing beside Nian Qiao, spoke up.

Ding Sishu swallowed. So close — her eyes took in Nian Qiao’s magnified face. Nian Qiao’s skin really was flawless. Even from this distance, not a single blackhead.

“I heard you…” Nian Qiao began.

Seeing Tiantian snapped Ding Sishu back to attention — she blurted it out. “I didn’t take ‘viagra.'”

“…”

“…”

Nian Qiao’s lips curved upward. “I know.”

The thing was, Ding Sishu had been electrified. She was electrocuted through and through, and her voice came out stuttering. She never even regained her composure — she walked out the door and ran into the real deal face-to-face.

It wasn’t until Nian Qiao left that Ding Sishu snapped back to reality.

Know? What did Nian Qiao know?

Ding Sishu leaned against the door behind her, her legs still jelly. Back when she’d fought a gorilla for a banana, her legs had never been this weak.

Actually, when she’d come back to China, Ding Sishu had considered the possibility of running into the one-night stand woman. It was no big deal — they were both adults. She could bring up those eighty yuan she’d lost, and at the very least, stage a comeback as the top.

But facing Big Star Nian? How could she possibly bring up the reverse-top thing?

“I want to be on top.” She could charge into Nian Qiao’s office, all childlike and petulant.

“Oh.” The woman probably wouldn’t even lift her head.

Scratching her head, out of options. On the way out, she might even get a reminder. “Close the door behind you.”

How tragic.

How cowardly.

Wahhh.

Most importantly — was Nian Qiao going to fire her? If she didn’t get her salary, her cousin would kick her out of Beijing before she could say “unemployed.”