She hadn’t expected Director Yu to be so direct, and Shen Yi didn’t dare to reply at all.
Yu Wan looked at her helplessly for a while, and seeing that she remained completely silent, she gave up on trying to communicate.
The silence lasted until Fang Nianchen returned. She gently placed her phone on the table, no longer startling anyone with her usual boisterous energy like before she left. Seeing Yu Wan eating with her head lowered, she took a breath and wanted to say something.
But… what should she say?
While she was still mulling it over, Shen Yi quietly pulled out a chair for her and looked up at her. She didn’t say anything, but Fang Nianchen understood—this was an invitation for her to sit down.
How should she put it? She thought Shen Yi was socially anxious and timid, but sometimes she wasn’t so introverted. For example, after just a few chats with her, she was already being so “thoughtful” in taking care of her.
Fang Nianchen softly thanked her: “Thank you.”
Hearing this, Yu Wan looked up and suddenly asked, “Shen Yi, which group were you assigned to?”
“Zhao Dongliang’s group, Group Leader Zhao,” Shen Yi replied softly.
Yu Wan had an impression of Zhao Dongliang—the loudest yeller in the department when it came to cursing people out. Fang Nianchen wasn’t in Zhao Dongliang’s group, so why did Shen Yi seem to have such a good relationship with her?
Sharing food with her was one thing, but now she was even pulling out chairs for her, as if afraid of not taking good enough care of her.
Aside from Qiao Yan, this was the first time she’d seen Fang Nianchen get along so well with someone from the department.
Shen Yi was just an intern, and Fang Nianchen had always been slow to warm up to people—it wasn’t necessarily her who took the initiative to get to know Shen Yi.
And then there was Shen Yi herself.
Her personality was introverted. She’d nearly cried after Yu Wan said just one thing to her that morning. A moment ago, she’d been all timid and shrinking, not daring to say a word, not even daring to look at her. But she was completely different with Fang Nianchen.
During those few minutes when Fang Nianchen had left, her eyes had followed her the whole time.
Such obvious differential treatment—she couldn’t possibly not notice it. She was even overthinking it a bit.
So Yu Wan turned to Fang Nianchen, trying once again to read something from her face.
The neighbor’s son, Xiao Ning, Qiao Yan, Shen Yi—there were even more examples like this.
Fang Nianchen was tolerant and generous with everyone, but with her, things were good one moment and bad the next. She didn’t know when it would suddenly happen, but she’d shrink away, avoiding meetings or talks, making their relationship worse than with strangers.
There had been hints of it early on, but the department transfer had magnified it several times over.
Yu Wan could sense that she was afraid of her, but the reason for that fear eluded her. In front of Fang Nianchen, she’d already tried her best to rein in her usual aloof demeanor.
She felt disappointed, frustrated—a mix of all sorts of emotions, even resenting Fang Nianchen a little and wanting to blame her for treating only her this way.
But that was the person she liked—she couldn’t bear to think badly of her.
The three of them each harbored their own thoughts as they ate their meal in complete silence.
Fang Nianchen was delayed midway by a phone call, but she was the first to finish. Normally, at this time, she’d get up to buy a bottle of water as a way to “curry favor” with Director Yu. But today, Yu Wan had bought her own drink, and with Shen Yi there, she didn’t want to do anything superfluous.
So the only thing she could do now was leave and head back to the office—but she didn’t really want to go.
Yu Wan hadn’t said a single word to her. It wasn’t a big deal, but it pricked at her like a thorn, making her uncomfortable.
Even if Shen Yi left afterward, at least they could exchange a word or two—she wouldn’t keep dwelling on it otherwise.
So she pulled out her phone to read an e-book she’d downloaded earlier, to pass the time.
After a while, Shen Yi finished eating too and softly asked Fang Nianchen, “Aren’t you leaving?”
“I’ll head back later.” Fang Nianchen was afraid Shen Yi would linger if she stayed, wasting her whole lunch break, so she persuaded her, “You go ahead. Lunch break doesn’t end for a while—you can still catch a nap.”
“I’m not in a hurry either.” Shen Yi was considerate. “I can wait until lunch break ends before going back. I don’t have the habit of napping anyway.”
Fang Nianchen hadn’t expected her to say such a long string of words in one go. She gave a wry smile, not knowing what to say.
She sneaked a glance at Yu Wan—she showed no sign of leaving either, still sipping her drink slowly.
Fang Nianchen thought once again that her old personality had actually been pretty good.
In the past, her sense of “personal space” had been extremely strong. Forget eating together—even when Shen Yi had come over with her tray that morning, she would’ve just walked away, treating her like air.
When had the change started?
She knew full well: after getting to know Yu Wan.
—
Ever since elementary school, Fang Nianchen had always been surrounded by unpleasant gossip.
Because she was good at her studies, she was called emotionally stunted. Because she didn’t know how to get along with people, she was accused of being pretentious and arrogant, then isolated. Because she turned down a boy’s confession, rumors spread that she was a slag girl who toyed with men’s hearts.
Humans always vulgarly slapped labels on people they barely knew and stupidly echoed each other.
Behind all the slander and prejudice were years of isolation for Fang Nianchen, so her school days held no good memories, and she was full of wariness toward people.
Her family, of course, didn’t care about any of it. They watched their “creation” walk the path they’d preset for her in amusement, utterly satisfied.
Malice and helplessness crashed down on her all at once. She was like something trapped under a black plastic bag—over time, she withered away, dissolving into formless darkness.
In the second semester of her first year of high school, her personality turned nasty. She kept thinking, if everyone disliked her so much, why should she bother making them like her?
For a long time, in everyone’s eyes, she was nothing but a detestable ghost who was good at nothing except studying.
After starting university in a completely unfamiliar city, it felt like she could finally glimpse her future.
So she preemptively walled herself off.
But her defenses weren’t airtight. One day, a beam of light slipped through by chance, and she mistook it for salvation, smashing down the entire wall herself.
Standing amid the rubble wasn’t salvation—it was Yu Wan.
After their unpleasant first meeting, thanks to Xiao Ning’an, Fang Nianchen saw Yu Wan a few more times at school events.
At that time, Yu Wan was always surrounded by crowds, confident and radiant.
The Yu Wan from grad school was completely different from the personality she showed now—and different from Fang Nianchen too.
Senior Yu never shied away from meeting new people. She was friendly and always accommodated others’ reasonable requests.
Of course, only the legitimate and reasonable ones.
Someone joked that Senior Yu was so kind and gentle—not at all like the “Wan” in her name, which evoked desolation and loneliness. She was like the sun: optimistic, warm. All the beautiful words you could think of could describe her.
Fang Nianchen had a different take.
The night had the moon, a bright moon hanging high, its light not as piercing as the sun’s but with a faint chill seeping through—that was the night’s inclusiveness, just like the feeling Yu Wan gave her.
If she were a nocturnal creature, Yu Wan’s presence had a fatal allure for her.
From the very start, she knew clear moonlight couldn’t belong to her alone. But she was a smudge of darkness, and her innate flaws made her want to claim her for herself.
She liked Yu Wan.
To leave a good impression on Yu Wan, the prerequisite was not letting her dark side show.
So Fang Nianchen tried to change.
University was the perfect fresh start for her—no shackles from her “past,” and anyway, no one knew her.
Severing ties with her old self was excruciatingly painful, because she had to force herself to accept everything she’d once disliked.
She didn’t know if this would bring her closer to Yu Wan, but she threw herself into it regardless.
Fang Nianchen spent a full year forcing herself to become a “relatively normal” person. It was only on the surface, but few people badmouthed her over her character anymore.
Now, she appeared kind-hearted and should’ve perfectly fulfilled her expectations from back then—but she felt not a shred of happiness.
Never mind whether her feelings were regret masquerading as like, or tangled up with past emotions—just thinking about Yu Wan liking someone else made the emotions in her heart waver endlessly.
Who was she putting on this hypocritical facade for?
—
Lunch break was nearly over, but Fang Nianchen still showed no intention of leaving.
Staring at her phone, she thought about a lot of things that would irritate her. The demon in her heart was little by little prying at the edge of its cage.
For a fleeting moment, she wanted to just tell Shen Yi to leave and stop clinging to her.
But in the end, it wasn’t the same as that day when facing Xiang Xiaoyun. Shen Yi hadn’t made any substantial offensive moves, and she had no excuse to vent.
Fortunately, Shen Yi finally stood up. “Then I’ll head back first.”
Fang Nianchen thought she’d misheard and turned to look at her. “You’re leaving?”
It sounded reluctant, but she swore she absolutely didn’t mean it that way. Just ten minutes ago, she’d been wishing Shen Yi would leave.
Fortunately, Shen Yi didn’t mind and simply nodded. “Time to prep for work.”
With that, she glanced at Yu Wan. “Goodbye, Director Yu.”
Her voice was soft, barely carrying beyond a pitifully small range.
“Good luck with work,” Yu Wan heard and encouraged her indifferently.
Shen Yi soon walked far away.
Though she’d been sitting the whole time, Fang Nianchen felt utterly exhausted and let out a long breath. She put away her phone and stopped looking at it.
“Any more work for me?” Fang Nianchen jumped straight to work talk, making herself seem serious and upright, without such strong ulterior motives.
“You’re about to leave, and you’re still thinking about work.” Yu Wan wasn’t too pleased with how she’d tried to keep Shen Yi around, but her taking the initiative coming over to chat redeemed some points.
So she leaned back a bit and looked at Fang Nianchen. “No more. Wrap up the loose ends for now and get some good rest.”
“Oh, okay.” Fang Nianchen could only nod, feeling like she’d picked a terrible topic.
There were five minutes left until afternoon work started. Normally, she’d already be in HR by now. But today, she wanted to spend a little more time with Yu Wan.
Time with Shen Yi around didn’t count. She wanted to be alone with her.
In the quiet silence, Fang Nianchen was still racking her brains for a topic. She felt Yu Wan had been acting strange since showing up today, like she had less desire to chat than usual.
Unable to think of a good opener, Fang Nianchen felt a bit dejected.
Yu Wan, meanwhile, looked elsewhere and lifted a hand to tuck back the hair by her ear. Half her forearm slipped from her sleeve, and on her wrist was a hair tie.
It looked familiar…
Fang Nianchen focused and took a closer look. Her eyes lit up instantly, like a feather brushing her cheek, making her lips curve up uncontrollably.
It was her hair tie—the one she’d taken off last Saturday while cooking and given to Yu Wan, then forgotten to take back.
Hair ties were the kind of thing you lost all the time, so she always kept a bunch at home. Missing one or two was no big deal; she wouldn’t even remember.
But seeing something she’d overlooked on the wrist of someone she liked sent her fantasies spiraling.
Fang Nianchen came up with a thousand excuses:
Maybe it was just the same style—after all, hers were cheap ones bought online, mass-produced by the thousands to save money. Or if it really was hers, Yu Wan was just wearing it without remembering whose it was.
In other words, if Yu Wan remembered it was hers, she probably wouldn’t wear it, right?
After all, a hair tie like that…
Fang Nianchen was even too embarrassed to think further. It felt like she was shamelessly fantasizing about something outrageous.
Yu Wan suddenly turned back, their eyes meeting for an instant. She noticed Fang Nianchen looking at her. “What’s up?”
To be cautious, Fang Nianchen didn’t look away immediately.
Only after staring a bit longer did she say, “That hair tie… looks just like mine.”
To play it safe, that’s all she could say. If it wasn’t hers, she’d have an out.
“It’s yours,” Yu Wan said without hesitation. “You lent it to me that day and forgot to take it back.”
“Oh…” Fang Nianchen felt herself slipping into an irrational state. It was just a hair tie, yet she was more excited than discovering a new continent.
Yu Wan was so nonchalant; she clearly didn’t care.
Of course—girls lent each other hair ties all the time. Totally normal.
But she’d never seen Yu Wan tie her hair up at the office before.
Fang Nianchen was tying herself in knots, desperately trying not to overthink on one hand, while thrilled on the other that Yu Wan was wearing her hair tie on her wrist—even if she herself had no idea what it signified.
Just as her internal struggle reached a critical point, Yu Wan poured oil on the fire. “Do you want it back?”
If anyone else asked, Fang Nianchen would’ve magnanimously let her keep it. But the problem was she’d already thought of the implications of wearing a hair tie.
Foolish humans always overthink, so she felt pretty stupid right now.
Maybe she’d always been stupid, she thought.
“If you’re using it… then keep it.” Fang Nianchen added the preface to sound generous.
Keeping it on, wearing it, letting her catch glimpses now and then—it made her happier than anything.
A mundane object, imbued with new meaning, suddenly felt utterly precious.
Hearing that, Yu Wan relaxed. “I thought you might mind me wearing it.”
“Why would I mind?”
“Because I remember Xiao Ning telling me she’d give her boyfriend a hair tie. So…” Yu Wan lifted her wrist and looked at her again. “It seems like something only for couples.”
